All Comments on 'F4: Keeping Secrets'

Well-written and tight. I read nothing worth bitching about. The dialogue impresses me, polish it a bit, and it'll be first-rate.

Nice story and with just enough plot teases to keep you reading to the end. Good job!

Its a really nice story well done, good luck in the challenge :)

This story is charming and easy to relate to. Sandwiched between submissions that were darker and more demanding, it was a breezy piece of accessible, enjoyable fiction. Not to say that it's fluff. It isn't. Far from it.

Rather, it's a testament to the tearing complication of everyday life, the jagged things that we keep just beneath our skin, clawing to get out, and, at least in our own minds, ruin everything. We forget, however, that there are fracture-sharp bones beneath everyone's skin, and a skeleton in every man's house. We are all terribly, irrevocably, beautifully and uniquely damaged. It makes us who we are. It makes us capable of loving and being loved.

We overcomplicate it, just as we sometimes overcomplicate writing.

This piece is like the very best parts of life: easy, flowing, and meaningful without being jumbled.

Very nice tie to the story. Your past doesn't have to determine your future. Well-written and entertaining.

An easy to read story from beginning to end. Good luck in the challenge.

A really nice, sweet story. I found the characters and situation totally believable. Nice use of the song, too. After the drama of the fight the make-up seemed a bit easy, but sometimes it's nice when we don't over complicate things.

I really enjoyed that! Such a sweet, well-written story. I definitely felt for each character and you wrote them with such depth - very impressive in short stories! Of course, I'm just a big fan so maybe I'm biased. ;-)

Naw. It really was an excellent story. Good job!

OK, I'm echoing MugsyB, I guess, but it was very nicely done. Good characters, good plot, and mostly it all hangs together.

I kind of question the eloping, though. Most places have requirements about marriage licenses, blood tests, and so on. (Or they did back when we got married, and I doubt it's changed.) But I'm kind of a famous nitpicker, and that detail does not spoil the story, so you can probably ignore me. Excellent job overall.

-- WWC3

WilCox49

2* for the trash ending....still hanging in limbo for a druggie and pornstar

I think the story was well constructed and written with a skill I seldom encounter. I like that there is not too much explanation so that I can enter into the story with greater expectation of enjoyment.