Fade In

One the other hand, I didn't want him to get off light either. Was there a way to let him get my "death money" from her, since the only thing she did to earn it was to betray me, and still not let him benefit from it? If there was, how could I make it happen with my extremely limited ways of communicating with the world of the living? I had plenty of time to ponder these questions, or so it seemed. I also hadn't decided what—if any—action I should take to help her. I was correct with my earlier assessment of this situation—this sucked.

Two weeks into my torment, I began to hatch a plan using bits of information that I got from watching Jim plan how he was going to steal my "death money" from Becky. He was going to transfer it all to a bank in the Caymans within hours of the insurance check clearing. Once it was confirmed in his account, he was going to leave in the middle of the night, meeting with his accomplice, Jayne, on their way to a "well-earned" vacation in the Bahamas. So, if I timed it right, he'd transfer the cash, then I could somehow deliver the evidence of his crimes to the right people and they could hopefully pick him up before he boarded his plane. I was working out the details of how to get the goods on him and how to let people know, when I got the surprise that Tom foretold.

Jim and Jayne spoke at least once a day while Becky was at work, and being the interested party that I was, I always listened in. Jayne had been voicing her concerns to him about his bedroom activities with Becky, when Jim let the cat out of the bag. "Babes, I'm not fucking her that much...very little...at the most once a week. Yeah, being pregnant lowers her sex drive."

"WHAT?" I screamed. A thousand questions began to run through my mind.

Jim laughed, "No, it's not mine; I got a vasectomy years ago, remember? She was almost a month along when I finally seduced her, and even she didn't know it. She absolutely freaked out when she missed her period. She was feeling guilty enough after our first time lead to her old man's death, but to be pregnant...and not even know who the father is..." He laughed again.

"You know she called me up as soon as she got back from the doctor. I'd still been trying to 'give her comfort' from a distance because she pushed me away after the accident. She calmed down some after I told her that I'd been 'fixed' due to a genetic fault in my family. A few days later, she told me that she was considering an abortion as she thought couldn't deal with a constant reminder of her betrayal to Ken. Her family talked her out of it, telling her that a small piece of Ken would live on—of course they didn't know that we did the nasty, right there in the church kitchen." He laughed again.

My anger rose to a new height as he gloated and flaunted Becky's pain. She was MY WIFE! I LOVED MY WIFE!

"GET OUT!" I screamed in his face, as I never screamed before.

He sat up in the chair and looked around in a panic. I think he heard me this time. My anger was not subsiding and I had not noticed his reaction. I went about the room trying to knock things over or break anything that I could "touch." I did knock over a plastic flower arrangement and a picture frame from our wedding.

Jim was seriously spooked. He was holding the phone away from his ear and Jayne was loudly asking him what was going on. I directed my attention to him and ran right at him...okay through him. This time, he felt it.

"Shit! What the hell is going on here?" Jim yelled. "Who's here? Come out right now and I won't kick your ass!"

I went from angry to confused, until I realized that dipshit did hear me, feel me, and see what I did. I laughed harder than I ever did, partially at the fear on his face, mostly from relief of all the pent up emotions.

"Who's laughing? I can hear you laughing! Show yourself right now and I won't have you arrested!"

I hadn't even considered that he could hear me laughing. Was it all the pent up emotions, or was he just in a very receptive state because of my other actions? I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd try something. I got in his ear and yelled, "I'm Ken Goodman and I'm back!"

"No...it can't be you...you're dead! What's going on...you can't scam me...how are you doing this?"

"I'm a ghost, asshole!" I yelled again. I must've lost my emotional edge, because he didn't react to that. I was getting tired anyway, having been filled with so many confusing emotions, not to mention having laughed harder than I had in ages.

Several hours later, when I faded in again, it was almost time for Becky to come home. After my proclamations, I realized that I did still love her, but I really hated what she'd done to me...to us. However, if she was pregnant with my baby, I had to see her...I need to touch, or at least try to touch her belly. I needed to confirm that she had my baby in her.

When she came through the door, I was waiting on her in the kitchen. As I looked at her, she looked as thought she'd lost weight overall, but there was definitely a baby bump on her, made more noticeable but her thinness. She walked into the family room where shithead was watching a Cubs game on my big screen; he gave her a "I'll interrupt my game for just a second" peck on the cheek before she sat down on the nearby couch.

"What a day!" she proclaimed. "Any luck in the job search, Jim?"

"I have one new lead, and I haven't heard back from the interview on Monday yet." He hadn't looked for anything nor gone to any interview.

"That's good; just don't give up. I know it's hard out there in this economy, but you'll get something soon."

"Oh, I haven't given up. I'm not even close." He turned his attention back to the game, "Run, like you stole something! You're going to get tagged, dumbass! Damn! They got him..."

An errant thought occurred to me that if I could do a little something here and there and make the Cubs lose more often, I knew it would ruin his day, but I couldn't do that to all the "innocent" Cub fans out there. Wait...is there such a thing as an "innocent" Cub fan? After all, they had to know what they were getting into by choosing the "loveable losers" in the first place. Still, Wrigley was a couple hundred miles away, and I didn't want to be away from shithead long enough to let him make plans I didn't know about.

Becky rolled her eyes at Jim's attention being shifted to the game. As she settled in, I went to her and looked at the life growing in her. I slowly reached down to caress her belly, and my heart melted. When I touched her, she got a peaceful smile on her face. I rubbed both hands around her baby bump, and I could almost feel the warmth from both of them, and the love she had developed for him. HIM? How could I know it was a 'him?' I could 'feel' that I was going to have a son and in that second, it all became real to me.

Becky closed her eyes and relaxed, basking in the emotional bond we three now had. With my right hand, I reached inside her womb and touched him, to let him feel my love. I moved my other hand to Becky's cheek and her head listed to that side, just like it did when I used to touch her face. We were in bliss for several minutes until...

"Get wings, you damn ball!" Jim was yelling.

The announcer was using the standard phrase, "...it's going...going..." as the potential homerun ball approached the outfield fence. "...and it drops just inside the fence! That was so close...only one run will score for the Cubs."

I was angry at him for ruining our moment, so I got up and tried to smack him up side the head. I didn't actually connect, but it made me feel better. I focused my anger for a moment and aimed my finger at the "power" button on the remote and succeeded in shutting the TV off.

Jim was about to accuse Becky of shutting it off, when he noticed that he had the remote on the arm of the recliner he was sitting in, and it was too far for her to reach. "I must've bumped the button," he said aloud, reassuring himself after the events of earlier today. He then noticed that Becky was looking very confused. "Are you okay, hun?"

"Yeah, I must've dosed off for a moment." She reoriented herself, "It's the craziest thing, but I dreamt that Ken was here. He was holding me and my baby. It felt so wonderful that I didn't want to wake up." She heaved a sigh. Then her face went sad again as she missed Ken so much.

Jim felt a colds shiver go up his spine and got a bit nervous at the mention of my name; unusual for him, but not out of character after his experience this morning. "Well, he's not here; I am. I'll stay with you through all of this. I'll even raise his child as if it were my own. I have promised you this."

"I know you have, and you're a good man for sticking with me. I know I haven't been the easiest woman to live with since the accident, and my being pregnant hasn't helped any. I'll go start supper." He had her fooled and wrapped around his finger, but he was a professional con man.

I followed her into the kitchen, and when she reached for something from a high shelf, I wrapped my arms around her waist, as I had done so many times before. I just held her, and she seemed to feel me, or was it my love, again. It was not as intense this time, but every bit as pleasant and warm. In a moment, she shook me off, like I was a remnant of a good dream that interrupted her task. I guess that's what I was.

Now, when I was alive, I wasn't into cuddling, as I got sweaty and hot very easy. If it was before or after sex, I'd enjoy the afterglow with a good, but short, cuddle. Occasionally, during the cold nights of an Illinois winter, I could snuggle on the couch watching a movie with Becky under an afghan that her grandma had crocheted, but that was about it. Since my untimely death, that hug was the best feeling I'd had, period. I felt warm inside and almost alive again.

I began snuggling with Becky every night after that. I found my way into her dreams a few times by caressing her head while she was dreaming. We had conversations of a sort. It's hard to communicate with the living, and my talents weren't good enough to keep the link open for very long.

My messages to her were aimed at protecting and looking after the best interests of my unborn son. If he were to grow up and be emotionally well adjusted, he couldn't have a mother wracked with guilt and consumed by thoughts of it every time her son reminded her of his father, now could he? My feelings of the betrayal turned into anger directed at myself for neglecting her, and Jim for seducing her. I was beginning to forgive her for my son's sake, and for the happy times we did spend together.

My first thought message to her was that I was very happy to be having a son. She wanted to know how I knew. I told her that I was watching over her—and him—and I would do all I could to make sure she was happy and that he would grow up to be a good man.

The next night, I told her that she should no longer cry for me. She needed to find a good man to help raise my son. He would need a strong father figure in his life. She would need to 'move on.' She resisted that notion, even though we both knew that dipshit was sleeping only inches away. She thought that if I would visit her like this, she could find the strength to raise him by herself. She was sad when I told her that my time was limited, so her plan was not an option. She thought that by being with another man, she would be betraying me again. I told her that was only true with this man, but offered no other details before fading out of her dream.

Their relationship began to cool after that. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't seem to get it back on track. He told himself that he only had to make it last for two more weeks until he could get his hands on the money. He'd make every effort, but wouldn't push too hard, so it wouldn't come to head, or at the very least she'd feel very guilty throwing an unemployed 'nice' guy out of her house.

Several nights later, I told Becky to buy a voice activated recording device and plant it in the family room (where he usually took his calls from Jayne). She questioned me as to why she needed to do this. I told her it would become apparent when she did. It took three nights of dreams to get her to do this, and she finally caved in. The night after she set it up, I told her to prepare herself for a brutal truth to be revealed when she listened to the recording the next day (as I'd heard him incriminate himself rather well that morning). I told her to be calm and have a close friend with her when she listened to it, but not to listen to it at home.

She grabbed the recorder from under the end table on her way out the door to work the next morning and had, Jenny, her best gal pal from work, come into her office for a closed door meeting. She explained that her trust in Jim was faltering, so she planted this device, and wanted to have someone with her when she heard it—just in case.

They listened to Jim talk on his cell to Jayne, and they were both in shock and tears in a short time. He belittled Becky in every way he could think of. He told Jayne how much he looked forward to running away with her and how he counted the days until then. He asked her if the account in the Caymans was set up and got the information from her for the transfer. He even discussed the plan with Jayne and told her that the date was set for the deposit and he was going to buy the airline tickets the next day.

Jenny comforted her and when they had calmed down, Jenny said, "Becky, you have to call the cops. You don't know what he may do to you if he finds out that you know. You can't go back there without some sort of protection or plan. You have the baby to think of, as well!" After some prodding, Becky took the afternoon off and spent it with the bunko department and the district attorney, telling them her story, and letting them hear her evidence.

That night, Becky had a lot of trouble falling asleep next to "a known criminal," but when she finally did, I was there. She wanted to know how I knew. I just told her there were few secrets on this side. She asked why I hadn't just told her what Jim was doing, and I replied that she probably wouldn't have believed me. Con men like him were quite good at making people believe what they wanted. She was concerned for the baby's safety, and I told her that he hadn't seriously hurt anyone yet, and was very likely to just run away if he thought he was found out. She told me that the cops were going to set up a sting and they needed a few days to get it done. They needed her to act as if nothing was wrong. I told her that I'd help where I could, but I wouldn't let him harm her or little Ken.

"Little Ken?" she sat straight up in bed, eyes open. Her sudden motion startled me and I fell off the edge of the bed, silently to the floor.

Jim was also awakened, but somewhat groggy, and asked, "Are you okay, hun?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just had a dream about what I should name the baby. I'm naming him Kenneth Ryan Goodman Jr."

"But you told the gynecologist that you didn't want to know if it's a boy or girl, so what if it's a girl?"

"He's definitely a boy, and he will bear his father's name."

"Okay, now go back to sleep."

Becky relaxed a little more around Jim after that. The cops didn't want to up the timetable so as not to tip him off. They bugged the house and gave Becky a bracelet that had a panic button, so if Jim started to go after her, she could call for help day or night. I watched Jim and reported to Becky that he had no clue that we were on to him and his plan.

One night, Becky asked my why I was doing this...why I was doing my best to help her after she'd betrayed our love as she had. I told her that I had forgiven her. Even though I was partially to blame by neglecting her, that Jim was the one who deserved my wrath. He took full advantage of the situation, as was his nature, and that she'd been manipulated by a professional. At first, he'd only wanted some sex while he located a mark for his next scam, but suddenly, with the insurance money coming in, she became the mark. She had some responsibility in this, but since I didn't have to worry about her cheating on me again, it was easy for me to put my son's best interest ahead of everything else. I also told her that I still loved her, in spite of her mistakes. She professed an undying love for me, as well. I told her that she should leave room in her heart for another—one to help raise my son—and possibly his children as well. I'd do my best to guide her to a good man. She didn't want to think like that...not after all that had happened. I asked her how she would feel, if it was her that had passed on. Would she want me to find someone to help raise our child in the best way possible? Reluctantly, she understood. I told her that letting someone else into her heart would not force me out. I reminded her that she had a big heart with lots of love, and that she'd have the happiest life possible if she could remember that. It was time for me to fade out and both of us to get some rest.

It was the day before the money transfer when we'd learned that Jayne had come to town and was staying at a hotel by the airport. Jim had been taking a few things to her that he wanted to take with him, like Becky's jewelry. He knew he'd have to leave most of his clothes behind so as not to alert anyone, which didn't trouble him too much because he'd be buying more and better clothes to befit his new image. He'd also spent the latter part of the morning and the early afternoon there, enjoying Jayne's physical attributes.

When the time came, Jim got up from bed at one in the morning. He went to his laptop and set up the transfer. When he got the "transfer confirmed" message from the cops (not the bank like he thought), he sent a text to Jayne to come pick him up. He got dressed and stole a couple of things from the house that he'd taken a shine to during his stay.

Becky had pretended to be asleep, but got up when she heard the front door close. She watched him put a small bag in the trunk, give a smoldering kiss to an attractive woman she'd never seen before, and get in the car. She breathed a sigh of relief.

They got to the airport by two for their four o'clock flight to Atlanta, where they would switch identities and fly to Miami, switch identities again and take a cruise to the Bahamas. Airport security stopped them as they went individually through the baggage screener. When they were both securely in the detention area, they were arrested and taken to the police station, where they were formally charged with a long list of crimes. They were going away for a long time.

Later, Becky had to go to the police station to identify the stuff Jim took as stolen, when she met a new man from the D.A.'s office. He was only out of law school for a couple of years, but was a widower with a two year old daughter. Every time they'd get near each other, one of them would drop something, or bump the other. After a while, they took the hint, and he asked her out to dinner. It's a good thing he did; I had maybe one or two more "bumps" left in me.

That night, I told Becky that Joe, the guy she'd met today, was indeed a good man, who would be a good husband and father, and if there was any chemistry there, that she shouldn't let him get away. (I already knew there would be 'chemistry,' but I didn't want to give anything away, or spoil it for them.) I told her, with tears in my eyes, that I believed that my time was now up or very soon would be. I told her that we didn't have a chance to say goodbye last time, and since I wasn't totally sure when I'd be leaving, we should say it now. She didn't want me to go; I told her I didn't want to go either, but I would do what I could to watch over her and little Ken. In her dream, we hugged and held each other so tight. In the bed, I moved my hand down to her belly, and touched my son as I had that day a couple weeks ago. Back in the dream, Becky and I stood arms around each other, and little Ken between us. We kissed and I felt myself fading out. Goodbye, my love. Live a good life and we will meet again. I love you. She replied that she'd love me until the end of time, as I faded out of her sight.