Fairy Fucking Godmother

"I figured she needed it." Fairy Godmother just grinned around the cigarette dangling from her lips.

"Is she OK?" Chiminea asked.

Fairy Godmother reached down for a handful of hair and pulled Step-Mother's lolling head up so that she was facing Chiminea. Step-Mother's eyes rolled up into her skull and her mouth was gasping like a fish out of water.

"You OK, toots?" Fairy Godmother asked.

Step-Mother managed to nod a few times and then checked out again.

"So, you have a good time or what?" Fairy Godmother asked.

She was still pounding away at Step-Mother's formerly tight little entrance with the well-used woman now obviously on some other plane of consciousness. Chiminea found it hard to answer Fairy Godmother's question with all the squishing sounds and slapping of skin, not to mention the constant mewling emanating from Step-Mother's mouth.

"It was fun," Chiminea said. "I met a nice girl, but I had to hurry home and I missed my chance to get her number."

"Well that sucks." Fairy Godmother had pulled out of Step-Mother and now had the quivering and perspiration-drenched woman positioned on her knees in front of her while she waved the toy peeking out from her boy shorts in front of Step-Mother's wide eyes.

"Look here, it ain't gonna clean itself," Fairy Godmother told the shivering woman at her feet. And then turning to Chiminea she said, "Where's my leather jacket, honey? Please don't tell me you lost my leather jacket."

Chiminea shrugged.

"Damn. I liked that jacket," Fairy Godmother muttered over the sounds of Step-Mother's gagging and retching.

"Be careful with that cigarette," Chiminea said as she turned toward the hallway to find her room. "Don't you dare ash on my clean floor."

Fairy Godmother shot Chiminea a mock salute with her right hand as she reached down to grab a handful of Step-Mother's hair in her left. "I know you can do better than that," she said to the woman at her feet. "Here, let me help you."

*

Chiminea was up early the next morning cleaning floors and preparing the porridge for breakfast as her two dim-witted step-sisters slept in and Step-Mother just sat in a corner hugging herself, rocking and shivering with a permanent smile painted across her lips. She was no doubt still trying to wrap her mind around the events of last night, so when the knock came on the front door, it was Chiminea who answered it.

"Yes?" she said to the gorilla in a suit and dark glasses who seemed to be taking up the entire doorway with his bulk.

"Sorry to trouble you ma'am," the gorilla said. "But I'm looking for the owner of this jacket. My employer runs the little dance club up the way and someone left this nice jacket there last night. I'm supposed to make sure it gets back into the right hands."

As if by magic, the two step-sisters were now wide awake and dressed in their finest gowns, making their way to the door. For the prince's reputation preceded him and the two were most anxious to meet the man whose big balls were the stuff of legend throughout the land.

"Ooh, it's mine," squealed the older step-sister.

"You lying bitch," said the younger one. "It's mine."

Step-Mother said nothing, she just rocked back and forth in the corner, still grinning as a little stream of drool coursed slowly down over her chin.

"Ladies, ladies," the gorilla said and then paused to scratch the back of his neck, probably wondering if he had used the correct term to describe these two. "I suggest you each try it on. That way we'll know for sure who it was meant for."

The older of the two step-sisters shoved her way forward and snatched the leather jacket from the gorilla's grasp. She slipped it on and slumped forward while the gorilla just shook his head.

"Ain't yours," he said. "You're swimming in it."

It was true. The sleeves hung much to long and the older step-sister's fingers were all but swallowed up, not to mention the way it drooped on her shoulders.

"You wanna try?" The gorilla turned his head toward the younger step-sister.

She ran up and snatched the jacket from his hand and immediately thrust her arms into it. The younger step-sister puffed up her chest with a big breath of air and placed her hands on her hips, but to no avail. The effect was the same for her as it was for her older sibling and the jacket hung loose on her skinny frame.

"I guess it don't belong to nobody here," he said and turned toward the front door.

Between those dark glasses and the door in the distance stood Chiminea, sweeping the floor of the entryway where the gorilla had inadvertently tracked in little bits of dirt from the cobblestone path leading up to the house. He stopped in his tracks and held out the jacket in his big meaty fist.

Chiminea ceased her sweeping and leaned the broom against the wall. She put her hand up to her chest as her lips formed the word, "me?"

The gorilla nodded.

Chiminea took the jacket from his grasp and slowly slid her left arm into one sleeve followed by her right arm in the other. All those months of toiling away, cleaning up after her wicked step-mother and clueless step-sisters, had caused Chiminea to add some considerable muscle to her frame and she was nowhere near as spindly and frail as the rest. As a result, the jacket fit perfectly.

But no sooner had Chiminea put it on than she peeled it back off and tossed it to the ground. She thought about the detestable prince and his dance club and his big balls, and his general air of douchebaggery. Chiminea was sure she wanted no part of that life.

"I'm sorry." Chiminea hung her head. "But please tell your employer that the jacket didn't fit anybody here."

"That's a shame ma'am," he said. "The club owner -- well -- she'll be real disappointed to hear that."

Chiminea raised her head and blinked once. Her eyes had gone wide as she stared into those dark glasses, not quite believing what she had just heard.

"So I think you'd better tell her yourself if you don't mind." The gorilla reached up to lower the dark shades just a bit to meet Chiminea's gaze. And then bringing his voice to a low whisper, "She's right behind you."

"I never got your number last night," came a husky contralto. Chiminea whirled around to find the beautiful princess standing there smiling at her. "And I'd really like to see you again if that's OK."

"Is now a good time?" Chiminea said. She scooped her jacket up off the floor and put her arms through it in one smooth motion. By the time she crossed the threshold of the front door with the princess on her arm, Chiminea's rags had magically transformed again into the white cotton tanktop and the leather pants.

And when Chiminea reached down to check, she found the bulge was still there too. She smiled as she strode off toward the passenger side door of the vintage Caprice Classic that was being held open by Fairy Godmother. After Chiminea helped the princess settle in, she turned her attention to Fairy Godmother.

"So are you planning to come along as a chaperone?" Chiminea snickered.

"Nah." Fairy Godmother shook a cigarette from her pack and raised it to her lips. "I got some unfinished business with the three little bitches inside." Fairy Godmother produced a lighter and touched the flame to the end of the cigarette before taking a long drag.

"Don't worry toots," she said while exhaling a blue-gray cloud, "I won't ash on your nice clean floor."

Chiminea walked around to the driver's side of the car and settled in. "Where would you like to go your highness?" she asked as she twisted the key to bring the big engine to life.

"I really don't care. Anywhere is fine," the princess said as she rested her hand on the bulge in Chiminea's pants. "And please, call me Serafina."

Chiminea slipped the shifter into drive and slowly rolled down the alleyway and onto the road before pointing the car toward the rising sun and stepping on the gas. The roar of the engine and the shriek of the tires was just enough of a distraction to drown out the mewling cries of the three women inside the house as Chiminea and Serafina set off into the wide-open countryside together.

* * *

Afterword

I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know in the comments section.

-WP