All Comments on 'Faithful? Tom's Story'

Decent. I liked how he backed off Larry the security man. I think you were too quick in ending it. There should have been more detail. Also, way too easy on the ex. At the very least he should have taken the 50% that was rightfully his, and I'm sure there was a pre-nuptial agreement. I think I prefer the version where she does have sex with the boss, and he goes after everyone legally and the cheating wife gets caught and has to move back into her parents home with only the clothes on her back.

Well at least on this one, the husband got a proper ending unlike the others

Give up writing and try something else

The whole storyline was fine except for the twist towards the end (loved it), the characters were as expected in this story of cheating. My only gripe is that it took him 4 years to confront his lying wife. He finally got the goods on her for "almost" cheating with her boss. All those out of town trips and late nights but nothing happened? But, actually, it did. They conspired to have an affair at the cabin before her boss left for England, whether her husband liked it or not. But he had the balls to stop her cheating and to divorce her. I enjoyed the story because most writers would have made him a unknowing cuck. Glad 'greenday' did the right thing.... Keep up the good work and looking forward for your next tale.

Let's be honest, you are adding nothing to the story, those spinoffs are mediocre at best, if you liked the story you should take inspiration from it and made your own one.

It's implied that Molly cheated with John during those four years. Would like to have read a conversation between Tom and Molly in which Molly confirms Tom's suspicions (or debunks them). Tom simply comes off as someone cold and uncaring. Actually, none of the characters display any real emotion.

L’audace, en effet !! Très bon.

At least the husband had the backbone and balls not to let them cuckold him.

A more appealing ending for most methinks. Not bad, work in progress and better than anything I could do for sure. Thank you.

She's going to destroy their entire future together for one weekend with John?

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He's "renting" her, but not even for the promise of money. All he's getting is a, hopefully enforceable, very favorable postnup.

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Minor point - A point was made about him packing one of Molly's favorite bath towels, then no reaction from her when he started cutting it up.

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Jeezus, did he have to be a Reserve Statie also?

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Why in the hell is he giving her 75% of their assets?

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A tense shift in the paragraph before the Charger sold, and why is "She" capitalized?

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Of course the hotter second wife.

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The original was much better,

Too jumpy, no real flow.

Loved it, a well thought out BTB, what a silly little bitch the star struck wife was.

She got hers

First: the plot is very similar to one I read before on here.

Two: Tom was just not likable.

Three: Molly was just too stupid.

Oh well....you tried!

A bad retell of an already published story!

was all about your chest hair, because your Jim wasn't a loveable husband.

Well, neither is this one.

But where you picked up this story allows him to be brusque, unemotional and uncaring, so it is a better fit for your style.

I DON'T think you have shown growth as a writer or human being, or the emotional development it takes to create a sympathetic character. But you DID happen upon a segment of a story that fits your self-righteous, matter-of-fact style, so I think if you stopped now, you could claim some small measure of success.

4* to quit writing???

The outcome was good, but it didn’t have the same tone as the original. Also, it felt rushed.

I enjoy the premise of this story and the husband acted more like I would have. The husband obviously had deep suspicions evidenced by the P.I. activity. Because of that, I would have thought he would put a stop to it before the lake house. I thought this was a good addition, thanks.

And not badly written I agree with others that this lacked emotion, Tim is kind of like an automatic a follows b follows c, John is a cipher, the wife is a bitch off in left field, molly is kind of like okay,whatever. Needs more depth to.it to be a good story, more feeling.

And was a good take on this theme.

Yes, there are typos and some aspects of the story could have been better written, BUT I think you show a talent that could be developed. Moreover, this is far more credible than the original. Leaving aside the Mars money and carrying off his wife trussed, the husband in "Faithful" was written as a cuck by a cuck. Any normal man would tell Molly not only "Hell no!" but that she'd had earned a divorce by just setting this entire thing up.

I didn't like it. ONE*

Why not just have him pull our a Harry Potter wand and exclaim Avada Kedavra!?

Look, I know I am harsh but the original was silly. It doesn't matter if the wife and boss were fucking (though quite frankly it is entirely dimwitted that they weren't. It's obviously they were in love. No one perpetuates an emotional affair for 3 years and doesn't move to physical. That is just convenient story telling)

That they just decide after years to completely humiliate, destroy and emasculate the husband is just moronic. This is obviously a covert humiliation tale and I really don't understand why people refuse to call this out. For fucks sake it's obvious. No self respecting man would put up with it. He would leave. He would call the cops. Its DUMB.

The fact he has money would indicate that even if he didn't have evidence of a physical affair he would most certainly have evidence of an emotional one.

Come on people.

A very good job with this story. I really enjoyed the confrontation with the wife and the others. Again, good story.

Molly knew so little about her husband, his background, his determination and resourcefulness that they were hardly room mates, much less husband and wife. What's puzzling is why the husband spent all that time and money on private investigators? He was convinced his wife was cheating on their marriage, what was the point of getting firm evidence? Its obvious they did not love and respect each other, why stay married?

Both Molly and the cuck ended up better off with other spouses, too bad they waited so long. But what was the point of the Mars wealth? How was his wealth supposed to turn a whore into a house wife? And what was with the extra telephone? I think there were some subtle hints that went over my head. Sorry.

An OK story, as far as it went. Thanks for the effort.

What a drivel! 🤮

Where were the special forces guys? How can you have a story like this without special forces guys? The blood brothers who stop at nothing? The mild mannered trained killers seething in rage but exuding a placid exterior? They, who specialize in speaking softly while exuding ill-concealed menace? Those guys.

They know so many ways to kill a story. "I won't say this twice," they say, with ill-concealed menace.

Thank goodness for that.

@Wargamer - "Star struck?" Are you confusing this with a "February" story?

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@starsong1977 - While I also find it hard to believe, the four years of a celibate affair was stated as fact, and never challenged, so I think we have to accept it. Having said that, I totally agree that having gone that long successfully hiding their emotional affair, that can't go ONE more weekend? They haven't consummated their affair in four years, and he's leaving the country, and NOW his wife is worried about them cheating? If they MUST have a farewell fling, why rub his nose in it? Gail obviously didn't want HER nose rubbed in it, and she already KNEW about it, why not leave him in blissful ignorance?

/

Too many holes in the story. The plot was an interesting one but, the story was too short to develop some needed details. The protagonist was very rich but, the wife had no idea of the source. Not believable without explanation. I like a good short story better than a long one filled with meaningless trivia. In my opinion, this one tried to compress too much into too little.

Still, I enjoyed the story. 4*

Why have her come out OK in the end? So she loses you and the office guy but ends up with 75% of what you have and a new husband????

.. now people don't want to write their own shit. They just copy stories from others.... *

By the time I got to Hubby assuming Sweetie HAD previously visited Boss’s vacation house (thus she didn’t need a map or GPS,) I saw the irony of Hubby not having a GPS in his Charger. Greenday0418 had already read Faithful (kcfirst) and knew how to thwart EVERY step Boss, Gail and Molly had planned. Basically, a literary GPS ... or maybe rear-view mirror!

Interesting that Hubby is gigarich but I do not remember mention of any prenuptial agreement. This guy has a six-car garage and his wife of some years thinks he has just enough resources to not work?

That was your intent, wasn’t it?

Started good with his activity before the weekend, but ended worse than the original story.

Was this? Reads like it was written by a fifth grader and that's insulting the fifth grader.

As much as this was far better than the original, it is hard to write a bad story when your protagonist has billions to fall back on (I'm sure they have nightmares about living the way folks like me have to).

Unless you are running for president and have honest goals, anything is possible. Just add a few $$ and troubles seem to melt away.

Smokepole

Recently I received an anonymous email in response to a critical comment I posted on Literotica. Since most commenters know me to be relatively mild in my criticism, reasonably tolerant of even fetishistic content, and antagonistic only to obnoxious Anonnys, there could be only one story--this one--that I've commented on recently that could have provoked the following response:

"Just how many stories have you posted dip shit? And how many years have you served in the armed forces? Well I will let mine stand. If you don't like it don't read it."

Oh, well; you got me. By the standards you have imposed on me, your opinion matters and mine doesn't, because you spent part of your life learning how to kill people and break things. No matter which country you served, I'm thankful they found a way to employ your lack of skills and social incompetence, and quite possibly trained you to become professional in spite of it. That's good for you, your country and society at large.

But make no mistake: it is almost impossible to find model spouses or parents in the military. The time spent away from home, the interdependence with nonspouses, the command structure, the need for secrecy, the psychological aloofness you learn--all of them make 'normal' loving relationships difficult. I didn't know I was criticizing a career serviceman when I told you your emotional development was stagnant, but having been told so, I don't apologize for my words; they were accurate. However, I do understand why you're stagnant now, and I DO apologize for telling you to quit writing, becausecontinuingto write might be the only way you can relate to us un the real world. .

I just hope you will stop 'hammering' other writers' stories. This references what is known as the law of the instrument, or Maslow's hammer, (our predisposition to cognitive bias) because you choose stories written by other authors who leave certain nails unhammered. However, you haven't demonstrated that you know how to build things with your hammer and nails. You only pound them. Let's see something original like "The Invitation to Club O".

I gave that one 5* and no criticism.

Thank you for giving our hero some self respect!!! Not BTB, but not RAAC either...

bottom line was it worth the worry and hassle. TK U MLJ LV NV

what I'll never understand is, why do you dumb asses take the high road? She cheated, had another man's baby. Or like this dumb ass bitch, she plots with someone to cuckold you and make you like it. Even after all that, your gave her 75% of your assets. Do you know how rich people stay rich? Their cheap as fuck.

It's always good to read a redo of a cuck story where the MC handles it like a man. Thank you.

Ludicrous. It never made any sense. A jumble of absurdities piled more or less randomly on each other.

a very boring story with little to no plot

You must be daring as a writer, and dare again, and be always daring, to make the stories original and audacious. Thanks for the story.

Excellent cleanup ending! I still think John should have been mugged and his balls cutoff!

I could have sworn I've read this story almost word for word somewhere else. Even to the point where he kidnapped her brought her home and locked her up. Is this a repost of your adaptation, or is this just mostly plagiarized from others? Maybe it was a part of this story and part of an adaptation of "The Bridge" idk.

Re-read this turkey and realized that reading the original (or possibly an offshoot) was a prerequisite to understanding this offering. It does NOT stand alone! I HAD just finished that before my earlier reading, as my prior comment acknowledged.

As I re-read this, ot dawned on me that there was no MC (especially Hubby) that would cause a reader to give a shit about anything any of them might do, or have happen to them! Hubby comes across as a silver-spoon 30+ yo boy who was doing ZILCH except perseverating about his wife, for whom he felt nothing but mistrust for years. No charity work, no support of science aspects nor political activity.

Still a 2*

This felt a bit too self righteous for the main character. Too many things didn’t fit. How could the wife execute an emotional affair for 3 years fooling multiple PI firms and then turn suddenly stupid and tip him off.

I did like the confrontational aspects of the story.

really good btb.....

Again, a very good.story by any.measure.

Votre histoire est audacieuse!

Gail must have married a trump

after a 2nd reading...this one just gets better. One of the absolute add-ons to a mediocre original on this site Congratulations for a job very well done there greenday. You already were in my favorites...now you have become a favorite of favorites.,, Look forward to many more great stories...!

Married 18 years and they're just now beginning to plan on having kids? And again, married 18 years and his wife has no idea that he's rich? He's kept this a secret, why?

.

Beyond the stupidities of the plot, this story is emotionally lifeless. At least the original generated a sense of outrage. In this version, I don't care about the marriage, the MC, the wife, anyone --- and the resolution is such a pandering, wish-fulfillment hack job that it provides no vicarious gratification.

.

If you want to see this plot situation done right, re-read 'the Bridge'. There, the BTB revenge gives the reader initial satisfaction, but leaves the MC , his wife, and their children devastated. Payback is never clean.

Much better plot and storyline than the original or the other attempts. Obviously he stilled loved Molly. That is why he tried to be fair to her in the divorce. The mega rich always require a prenup. It should be noted that the prenup never discusses money. It only talks about personal assets prior to the marriage. As for being mega rich, this was needed to overcome the original story’s plot details. Rw43 comments demonstrated that he is an idiot! He probably believes every QAnon conspiracy. Lickideesplit is no better!

better than the original but still tepid at best.

Not as good as the other sequels simply because he didn’t destroy the duplicitous bitch.

He took charge but still should have sued the company and the assholes husband and wife

I didn't much care for it. when you force someone to do the right thing, they will fail you in the future.

So so

It was nice Molly got to realize she was nothing to her other love. Just something to ejaculate into a bit more intensely with the cuckold factor.

I think it could've been better with a lil revenge.. With all that money, the possibilities are endles..

The best end.

More revenge required.

More talk between Molly and Tom needed

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Entertaining.

Ed

I felt this was stunted to the original story. It wondered off track for me and was somewhat imposable. That said every author has their own version.

Overall enjoyed it I do feel it went off the rails toward the end. Still good

A little deus-ex-machina is always good, the Walter PPK was a good hint, but all of a sudden, after 18 years THIS is his background? Get serious. 2*

Walthers don't use clips

"All right, tell them I'll go. But the first lie to me, half-truth told, or deception aimed at me, and I'm gone."

"After introductions, I asked John where Gail was. He said she wasn't joining us for the weekend but did not explain why."

Woops! Bullshit, bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overall I liked the well written story, but I take exception to a couple things.

: At the end, it's written that he didn't want to burn Molly because he's loving being a father. What the fuck does one thing have to do with another? If Molly didn't want & plan her weekend of adultery, he could've been a father via her.

: Getting Molly to the room after realizing what's going on, he wasn't nearly as harsh with her... or for that fact with Gail. If nothing else, about being excluded during their meetings. Should've told them something 'cause they knew he'd be against it.

: And the biggie, which I'll never understand. He was told that John's being transferred but never brought it up. Then he says that any lie, deception, etc., & he's leaving. Knowing what he knows & his suspicions about John & Molly, he shouldn't have left. The lie- he asked a few times if there's anything she's keeping back, & she said no. If nothing else, when she told him Gail's won't be there, the meetings, & he saw the escort: "I told you any untruths at all & I'm out. I'm getting my things. Stay here, then don't come home. Any chance of staying married to me..." then list not only leaving with him, but quitting the job, etc.

.... As she said she couldn't/ wouldn't do it, it's goodbye & have a nice life. She made her decision, & he say's he's seeing a divorce lawyer the next day. And then he leaves. The fact that he didn't react like that, gave her a 2nd chance & had to bring her tied up out of the house is a huge deficiency of the story, to me, & forces me to lower my rating. What might've been a 5, I only can give a 3. It's a shame. Bob

You are mighty, all knowing, and powerful… In your limited imagination.

So far from reality it is beyond belief. He was that fithy rich and she had no clue? But it serves her right for what they had planed.

"Are you leaving me for this asshole?" Um, no. Asshole and his wife are relocating to England in two weeks time. Remember?

GREAT story!!!

I would have expected something much worse to the asshole, his wife and even to Holly...

Husband was an asshole

4 stars for this interesting but unbelievable story. Wife doesn't know how rich he is? Doesn't have a hint by the name of the huge candy company? And she believes her husband will put up with her planned adultery? On the other hand, he stated 1 mistruth, etc., & he's out of the place. But she tells him, in effect, she lied to him & of the arrangements. IDK, I'm tempted to say he should've marched out of the house & left immediately, reminding his wife of his words.

okay story, could have been better if Molly had more bad things happen to her. Although she never cheated, but she fully intended to. So Tom's ending is okay. I just finished reading Faithful? Molly's Story and liked the ending much better. Still this story is worth reading.

An entertaining read.

I cannot understand the need to wait until the husband has indisputable proof of adultery before starting to take actions, including filing for divorce.

Hypothetically speaking, if I mistrusted my wife so much and for so long that I had to hire a platoon of PI s to satisfy my uncertainty, then regardless of their findings, my marriage is already dead in the water.

The lack of proof from the earlier investigations did nothing to quell his disquiet. He just simply no longer trusted her. The events revealing themselves after the investigations did not alter the divorce settlement. He had nothing to gain by continuing to play a part in her silly little game of charades.

The trust is obviously dead.

Nothing more needs to be said.

D I V O R C E.

Ic69hunter hates any story where the wronged husband isn’t a cock sucking cuck like him. Good sequel.

I didn't like it and found it confusing. Were his suspicions well founded or was he being paranoid?

These stories where a wife drags her husband to the boss's cabin just to betray him are like a knife in the gut to me. That said, there was too much machismo for my taste. Just leave her and divorce. I'm sure there is a wife somewhere who tries this stunt, but it's nuts.

The confrontation seemed lackluster to me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to finally find a version where he manages to prevent her from cuckolding him, but it just seemed fairly flat. Like you wanted to get from point A to point D as fast as possible, and the climax suffered for it.

Okay to good story, I guess I wanted to see Molly burned more. Although, she didn't do anything, she wanted to and that to me is equally bad. She also lied several times. Since Molly was a willing participant with John, I can't see how she could sue for sexual harassment, but maybe I am not seeing this right. 4 stars.

One star was perhaps a tad generous, as someone had obviously overdone the mushrooms, quite dramatically!

Confusing, muddled, and inexplicable! In a word, balmy!

Not enough burning on Molly. Although Tom stopped her, she had ever intention of getting together with John. Too bad, you had a great story until the end. However, John and Gail got their comeuppance. The problem I have is the story had a good potential outcome, but it didn't happen.