Fall in Love with a Girl Ch. 03

Third chapter of this story, read and review. If you haven't read the first two chapters of this story then go do that so you know what's going on here.

"Almost done! Just a few more items and then we can go for lunch," I said as we put the finishing touches on our lab report one day. There were just a couple more of these to go in the term, then we'd be done with high school for good. Layla and I hadn't talked too much about what would happen with us when school let out, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. They say long-distance relationships going into college are a bad idea - Layla had introduced me to Becky Albertalli novels and I was very aware of that theme - but I didn't want to lose her that soon. I finished up the last paragraph and hit "print", trying to distract myself from thinking about how fast and hard I'd fallen for her. My girlfriend got up from our table and retrieved it, and I couldn't help noticing how cute she looked in those jeans as she walked.

"Shall we go? I'm really excited for you to get to meet everyone," Layla asked with a smile. We left the library and went down the stairs, wanting to get there in plenty of time to meet people. I wanted so badly to take Layla's warm hand in mine and be her partner in public, have everyone know about my amazing partner, but the little voice of fear in my head kept me from reaching out. I had done some research, and while she had reassured me that Ms. Bailey was a very careful and welcoming teacher and sponsor, it was theoretically possible for the school to out me to my parents if the wrong person found out. I felt shame rising inside me at my fear. Layla had never been afraid to be herself even when it was difficult, and I just needed to get over myself and come out.

We paused at the entrance to the room while she waited for me to catch up. I smiled and reached out to take her hand, wanting to be brave.

"Are you sure? You don't have to, I don't want to force you to come out faster than you're comfortable with," Layla asked quickly.

"I know. I want to try being more open," I reassured, and we walked through the doorway into the classroom. There were some tables set up near the stage in the room, several of which were occupied. We found two adjacent free seats and slid into them, waving to the other people at the table as we did.

"Hey, folks!" Layla cheerfully greeted. "This is Sarah, here at last."

I waved. "Nice to meet you! My girlfriend was telling me about this space and things finally lined up where I could come check it out." My labelling of our relationship hung in the air without stress. I'd told people I was dating a woman, just came out and said it casually, and there was no judgment on the faces of the group. I remembered something else quickly. "She/her for me, thanks."

A short-haired teen at the table piped up. "I'm Ryan! He/they for now, still figuring it out. Nice to finally meet you, Layla's been talking you up for a while now," he said with a laugh, before seeing my expression and adding, "It's okay. She didn't tell anyone your name, but it's been really great to see how happy she's been lately." I grinned and squeezed Layla's hand at this. I liked seeing her smile and thrive in an accepting environment after all she'd been through.

I was blown away by just how chill everyone was in this space. Even though I hadn't realized I was gay until just a couple months ago, there was no judgment, nobody trying to make me prove that my identity was real to be here. We shared stories of our lived experiences, commiserated with the people like me who weren't able to come out yet, and expressed hope for the future when we could get out of this small town.

"UVic should be fun, yeah. I'm excited for their bio program," I said excitedly.

"Nice! I'm going to VIU to be closer to family, so I won't be too far away," Ryan's boyfriend Tim chimed in. That sparked another lively conversation as the group compared notes on where they'd be going next year, but I noticed that Layla had suddenly fallen quiet.

"Is everything going okay?" I asked her as we left the room to head to our Chemistry class.

"It's fine," Layla responded, her voice betraying that she clearly wasn't.

"Hey, hey," I said, taking her hand. "It's okay, you can tell me anything, I'm here for you."

Layla's expression was downcast. "Everyone was talking about where they're going for college, and I...I haven't gotten an acceptance letter from anywhere yet. Everyone's doing so well and I'm scared I'll get left behind. I don't want to lose what we have," she murmured, tears welling in her eyes.

I just pulled her in and let her cry on my chest, stroking her hair and whispering consolingly. "Shh, it's okay, let it out," I whispered, not caring if anyone saw. "It'll be okay, things will work out."

"You don't know that!" Layla almost wailed. "You're going to be wonderful at UVic and you'll meet so many amazing people and...," she trailed off.

"Hm?" I responded.

Layla looked down at the floor as though she could burn a hole through it with her eyes and climb in. "I'm scared we'll be long-distance and you'll m-meet really great people and you'll realize you can do b-better than me," she cried.

"Oh, sweetheart," I said. "I love you so much, you're the one I want to be with." We sat down on a nearby bench, shielded from any curious passersby. "You've taught me so much about myself, and I've fallen so hard. You're bright and you're funny and you're beautiful, and any school would be so lucky to have you. However things go, we can figure it out together." I wasn't sure if my words were convincing her, and I silently hoped for some good fortune.

~~~

The calendar flipped to May, and while Layla and I hadn't really talked again about the whole college thing, our time was being increasingly occupied by revision for our final exams. Our lunchtimes in the GSA room were a welcome escape from the grind, and Erin had even joined us a few times when she could find the time. Her loud demeanour and quick wit had instantly endeared her to everyone, which helped keep the conversations light and from drifting back towards the topic of college.

It was a warm weekend day and I was taking a break from my studying for finals when I decided to test the waters again. "Hey, Mom, just wondering if you're free one of these days? I want to get a dress for prom and it would be nice to spend time together," I suggested as my mother walked into the room.

"Of course! I didn't know you had a boyfriend," she replied almost disapprovingly.

"I don't," I said quickly. "I mean, someone I've been talking to for a bit asked me to go to the prom with them, but it hasn't been that long, seeing where things go." I tried to push down my thoughts of shame for lying to my mother, though I hadn't technically said anything that wasn't true.

I wasn't sure if she believed that answer, but she didn't push the issue. "Sure, we can go this weekend," she answered. That night, I resolved that I was going to tell her on the shopping trip. She probably wasn't going to react well, but I just didn't want to hide who I was anymore. The ever-present fear of rejection ran through my mind, but I managed to keep those thoughts at bay long enough to send a quick text:

Me - Going shopping for a prom dress this weekend. Going to try and come out to my mom when I'm there. I love you.

Layla - I'm so proud of you, Sarah. However it goes, I'm here for you. I love you too.

Some might call it a twist of fate, or it might have just been from living in a smaller town, but that Sunday saw my mother pulling her car into the same parking lot where I'd arrived for my first date with Layla and realized my feelings. The schoolgirl-crush feelings from that day, however, were absent today and replaced by an anxious wish to stop hiding who I was from the people in my life. We made our way into the store and to racks of dresses, imagining both myself and Layla dancing in these.

I pulled through the row of dresses, looking for the one that would sing to me, until I reached the one and knew in an instant. I gazed at the blue floor-length dress and put my hand to my heart, letting the material fall through my fingers. Layla and I had talked and I knew generally what look she was going for, and this seemed to complement her plan well. Finding a fitting room, I donned the dress and turned my eye to the mirror. I turned on the spot, liking the way the dress showed my curves and emphasized my chest.

I closed my eyes and held my hands over my heart, dreams of that magical night in the future living in my mind. Dream me swayed slowly with my girlfriend in my arms, surrounded with people who accepted us. My eyes locked with hers and I leaned down to kiss her, but the scene vanished as soon as it had come over me and I opened my eyes, still in the dress but now alone in the room again. I tried to hold back tears as I changed back into my regular clothes. Everything seemed like it was going so well for me, and yet it felt like it would all crumble into dust at any moment.

"Tried on the dress. It fits really well and it'll be great for prom night," I said to Mom as I got out of the fitting room.

"Great! You and him will look so good together," she replied excitedly.

I hoped she hadn't noticed the lump in my throat at that response. "Yeah."

We were on the drive home with the dress when I finally found it within me to speak up. "Mom, um, can I tell you something?"

My mom barely took her eyes off the road. "What's going on, Sarah?"

This was it. No going back now. "I'm going to prom with a girl. I've been seeing her since February and it's been going really well." My mom was silent.

I tried to ignore the feeling of my heart breaking open at that moment. "Mom? Please say something," I pleaded, my voice small.

My mother's expression was unchanged as she finally replied. "We've had this conversation already, you know how this will look, what people will say about you. You won't find a good husband or move up in the world if you're off thinking you're a lesbian," she said with the same contempt she had the last time we had this argument.

I was shaking now. "When have you ever cared about what I want?," I almost yelled. "You don't want me to be happy, you just want a daughter who's socially acceptable for you to brag about, but I. Am. Happy! She makes me want to be amazing for her, and I've learned so much about myself since we've been together. And I know I'm not into guys, I've never felt like this about anyone before her," I finished, my voice rising.

"And what's going to happen when you go off to university?" my mother shot back. "Why are you fooling around with something you know won't last?"

That question hit me like a punch in the gut. "I don't know," I pathetically squeaked out before collecting myself. "But I'm not going to give up on the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had out of fear. I'm going to enjoy the rest of this year with her, and we're going to graduate together, and however things go we'll figure it out."

That question seemed to end the conversation, and we pulled into the driveway in silence. I grabbed the bag with my dress in it and fled to the safety of my room, flopping onto my bed. I don't know how I managed to get through the menus, but I found the button for the only person I really needed to talk to, tears streaming down my face as I did.

"Hello?" I timidly asked.

"Sarah?" Layla answered. "Wait, are you crying? Is everything okay?"

I only managed to get out a small nod before replying. "Well, to start with the good news, I got a dress, and it's beautiful."

"I'm so excited to see it, I know you'll look beautiful on prom night," she consoled.

I continued. "So, um, I c-came out to my mom, and it didn't g-go well. She yelled at me and I let her get in my head."

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," Layla said before continuing on. "I don't know what I can do to help, but I hope you know that you are not at fault for your mother being homophobic. Would it help if I came over to talk to you?"

I shook my head. "Layla, I wish so much that you were here, but I don't want you getting yelled at too. I love you," I sobbed into the phone.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow and I'll hug you for as long as you want. I love you too."

~~~

I stepped off the bus and made my way to the back parking lot, looking for my girlfriend's car. It only took me a few seconds to spot Layla standing next to her car, my facade of strength falling away in the process. I strode over to her and she just pulled me in and let me sob on her shoulder, all the emotional weight that I was carrying finally evaporating.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so proud of you," Layla reassured. "You're amazing and I'm so, so lucky to be with you."

I broke away and pulled an old canvas bag out from under my arm. "I brought something, it's my prom dress. I don't know what things will be like when I get home after school, but I figured it's probably safer if I leave it with you until prom night if that's okay."

Layla smiled. "That's okay, I can definitely keep it safe at my place! I promise I won't look at it until the night of, I want the first time I see it to be when you're wearing it on prom night," she said as she took the bag from me. "Also, unrelated, but I have some news that might cheer you up if it'll help."

This piqued my interest. "Oh?"

"I got in."

"What do you mean?"

"I got in. UVic. Film Studies." Layla pulled up her phone to show me the familiar introduction to the email.

The truth slowly dawned on me. "So that means..."

"I'm coming with you," she said quietly.

I blinked away tears as my smile widened. "That's amazing! You're amazing," I said as we kissed, a weight being lifted off both our shoulders. We walked into the school with hands clasped, and I never wanted to let go. The expiration date I had been fearing for this relationship wouldn't be happening, relieving one of the anxieties my mother had inflamed within me.

I tried to avoid my mom's gaze when I got home that night, too exhausted to get into another shouting match. My dad saw the tension between us and tried to smooth things over, though I couldn't tell if he was just agreeing with her or if I'd have to deal with a whole new argument.

"Just listen to what she says. She's just looking out for you," he asked.

I was unconvinced. "If you're just going to take her side, I don't want to hear it. I'm really happy in my relationship and I wouldn't be happy with a man, and I'm not going to give up on this to get approval from you and Mom."

"But university-" Dad interjected.

"Won't be an issue," I finished. "It was touch and go for a bit, but we got into the same school so we'll be fine."

At that news my dad seemed to soften. "That's great! I'm sorry for coming across rough there, I just don't know much about this yet but I want to try and be better for you," he said.

I let out the tension in my shoulders at this. "Thanks. I love you guys and I want to have a good relationship, but I'm not going to give up on who I am. I've spent too long trying to be what other people want me to be, and it's just really tiring to do that all the time."

My dad nodded in response. "I get that. I'm sorry if we ever made you feel like you couldn't talk to us about things," he said, pulling me into a hug.

"Will Mom be alright?" I asked, my emotions coming to the surface again.

"I'm not sure. She might need a little more time. I'll try to keep her off your back, and hopefully she'll come around soon," he admitted. I just pulled him tighter, nervous for the future of my relationship with family but reassured that I had at least one person in my corner.

After Dad had left the room, I hit the familiar button on my phone to call Layla with the news.

"Hey, sweetie," I greeted.

"Hi! Everything going okay?" the voice in my phone replied.

I couldn't contain my smile. "Yeah, it's okay. I talked to my dad and I think he's okay with me being gay, or at least is trying to be. I think telling him that we're going to the same school helped with telling him that this was a serious thing."

"That's great! I know family means a lot to you," Layla said.

I took a deep breath before saying what was on my mind next. "I think that news really helped me, too. I love you so much, and I didn't realize how much I was scared that we would just be a thing until graduation. I need you," I said, my voice quivering.

"I need you too," she said back. "I wish you were here now, so I could kiss you and, uh, do other things."

I suppressed a giggle. "What other things?" I whispered, making sure my door was shut before I did.

Layla's voice was silky. "Well, to start, I miss having your lips on my neck, you're so good with your mouth."

I couldn't resist and flopped back onto my bed, my hand disappearing under the waist of my shorts. "Keep going," I said.

"I want to hear all those cute sounds you make while I kiss down your body, gently take off each piece of your clothes, treat you the way you deserve." My fingers ran over my moistening sex, teasing my entrance at Layla's descriptions of what she wanted to do to me.

"I want to settle between your legs, look into your eyes from down there. Then I could pull your panties over your hip and get my first look, first touch, first taste, of how wet and turned on you are, mmm," she continued.

I tried to keep silent as a finger dipped into me, Layla's words shooting straight to my core. "I want to taste every bit of you and see your reaction, because you are just delicious." I clapped my free hand over my mouth, trying to hold back my moans so nobody would hear.

I was getting closer to that beautiful peak, and I don't know if she even knew what she was doing to me as she carried on. "I need your clit in my mouth, I want to feel you rock your hips back into me, I want to taste your wetness when you cum for me," she whispered, and I couldn't hold it back anymore. I focused on nothing else except just staying quiet and felt my orgasm overtake me, uncontrollably trembling while I settled back onto my bed.

"Thank you," I instinctively whispered back.

"Wait, were you touching yourself when I was saying that?" Layla laughed softly.

Busted. "Uh-" I said, trying to think of a response.

"It's okay!" she giggled. "That's actually really hot, I'm happy I could do that for you. Not as happy as the real thing, but when we both live at home I'll take what I can get."

I thought of something, my mind still hazy from the post-masturbation fog. "Hey, uh, I don't know if this is too soon, but do you want to room together at university? I don't want to go too fast and do something you're not comfortable with in our relationship, but it'll be nice to be able to fall asleep with you. Plus it'll be a good compatibility test for if we want to take this relationship to the next level," I asked.

"That would be great!" Layla said. "I guess it's a confidence thing for if we're sure this'll last otherwise it could get awkward, but we both seem to be fairly clean-room people and we won't be cooking much the first year anyway so we can figure out what we like then," she reasoned. "I thought about asking you as well when I gave you the news this morning, but you'd been through a lot and just needed validation then, not the best time for big decisions."

I nodded. "Thanks, Layla. You're not too far off there, the past couple days have just been a lot. See you tomorrow?"

"Goodnight, Sarah. I love you."

"I love you too."

~~~

It was tough to stay focused on studying as the end of high school approached, but each day meant we were just one step closer to getting out of this social hell. I hadn't done any kind of official coming out yet, but I was quicker to offer casual touches in the halls and didn't really care anymore if people saw. With the issue of college admissions resolved, Layla was back to her happy self as she had been since we'd gotten together, joking around with Erin, Ryan, Tim, myself and the other GSA kids.