All Comments on 'Fall of Man Ch. 01'

This is easily worth 5 stars and it looks like a great start to an enjoyable story. Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to more of this story.

Simply Awesome!

Looks like another excellent story. What a good beginning

I'm retired from the Air Force, my job didn't require me to learn expert survival in the field but I did get trained in some basics. One of the things you will need is a canteen for water or some other container to drink out of regardless the weather. So for Emily to say she don't need water because there was plenty of snow was dumb on her part. With all the training she got from her dad she should've known better. She could've at least brought empty bottles and fill them with snow and drink it after it melts.

Can't wait to see how she reacts in the next chapter.

Clean up the spelling, and I would give you a solid 4. I am a Marine, so I will see how this goes, before I give more than that. Good Start.

Well done, Tara. I'll not quibble the spelling and other errors. Emily could easily forget about canteens and such. There are so many details to remember about Survival that nobody who hasn't worked outdoors constantly can easily forget them. The overall story was well done.

I thought Emily and Jordan were both believable and interesting. I will look forward to this story's continuing, as always.

This has been a great read & I hope to see many more pages!

The errors are there, but don't interfere too much with the tale.

Intriguing start, and you seem prolific enough and interested enough in writing to not make this yet one more abandoned tale. Lit is littered with them.

Hints that Jordan knows Emily or has met her in passing?

Miffed about abandoning the "beloved Tabby," though. Character ding on Emily. If the cat runs away during the trip, fine. Or, if the cat and Emily had a mutual tolerance thing going (come in, get food, rub the legs, purr while ears scritched, let me out, let me out!), well, then okay. But if you love something, you take the risk. I would have stuffed the cat and leash inside the jacket and thrown the cat food into the backpack. Some would say, "This is survival!" And I would say, "Exactly." The gentler emotions are what make life worth living when the hard decisions have been done. No need to play "Lifeboat" until you are forced to. If you edit to fix the errors and re-post, the intro is short enough and doesn't appear to advance the story; I recommend losing the cat from the story. Unless ... you're thinking "Incredible Journey" type stuff? You know, a year later, the battered unnamed feline drags its weary, wounded body to be reunited with Emily in the finale? ("Fluffy!" "Meee <cough, cough, hack> eow?")

Good start and high hopes for the rest of the story. Well done.