Falling and Flying

The adults didn't really get much of a chance to talk because the children wanted to be the center of attention. Finally Bristol told them it was time for bed and shooed them in the direction of their bedrooms.

"You two sit and catch up while I get the little monsters to bed." And Bristol was gone.

"I was right about at least one thing wasn't I Holly. She's a great mom isn't she?"

"She really is. It's so hard on her but she is so good with them."

"She's lucky she has you to help her." David was feeling a strange melancholy.

Perhaps sensing his unease, Holly spoke in haste. "I really missed having you around. When you left David, there was a big hole in my heart."

"I know I should have stayed in touch with you. You were always so kind, you reminded me of my mother. But...it just hurt too much." Holly nodded her head in understanding. "I guess I should have..."

"No David, I understand why you did what you did. You were right to leave and to make a clean break of it, but that didn't make me miss you any less." She gripped his arm, seemingly in desperation. She was pressing her torso into his arm as she led him to the living room. "I knew you could never give her what she wanted. Or I guess what she thought she needed. She hasn't changed David." Holly looked away and put her head down, studying her painted fingernails. She wasn't sure why she added that last comment but somehow thought it important that David knew.

"I want to ask you something really personal Holly...you don't have to answer...but I mean for some reason...it just that I need to know."

"I'll answer any question you ask."

"Why is she like that?-why couldn't anyone man be good enough for her?-is that how you ah umm? I mean she talked about you a lot, but never even mentioned her father so I never asked."

Holly's eyes were moistening as she absent-mindedly wiped away tears that weren't really there yet. "No David, I wasn't like that, if that's what you're asking? When I married I was very young. I was only 17 when I got pregnant, so I guess you could say that I had a shotgun wedding for my eighteenth birthday. But I was seriously in love and looking forward to being a mother and faithful wife for the rest of my life. But Bristol's father, well, he was young like me, and he, um, he wanted more than I could give him.

"I forgave him, but couldn't live with what he was doing. I guess it was just the way he was. He couldn't wait to not be a father and husband. After I kicked him out one night, he never came back. I never even filed for divorce. For all I know we're still married."

"Oh, I see."

"Bristol was only a year old at the time. I've never even mentioned his name to her. Maybe that was a mistake?"

David was thoughtful and he digressed for a moment. "I remember a conversation we once had." "You know I truly missed our talks." They both smiled in a mutual understanding. "Anyway you once told me that you can never call a life experience a mistake because you learn from both the good and the bad."

Holly got up and David did the same. They came together and hugged warmly. They shared the mutual emotions of two damaged but strong individuals that had suffered a similar heartbreak.

"She's my daughter David."

He understood. David was thinking of something to say when...

"Hey you two, what's going on out here?"

"Oh honey, David and I are just catching up. Did you get the kids down ok? I'll go say my goodnights to them now if it's ok with you."

"Of course Mom, but..."

"Listen, ladies, he interrupted after noting how late it was getting. "I have got an early start at work tomorrow so I better take off. Thank you for a great evening. I honestly can't remember when I've had such an enjoyable time."

"David no, please don't leave." They both spoke at once. All three knew why.

"Don't worry girls; I'm not going to disappear on you. For two reasons really. First and foremost is the lasagna. I have got to get that more often! Secondly is the kids, they are terrific, and I would enjoy spending a lot more time with them. Hey, I have an idea, do they like the water park?"

"They've never been..."

"What! You have four kids, including a nine-year-old, and they've never been to the water park? Oh we are going to have to fix that. How about we all go this coming Saturday if you're free?"

"Oh, we're free all right." Bristol blurted out. Holly looked like she was going to say something but got an elbow from her daughter that stopped her. "But why would you want to do that?" She added mischievously.

David smiled. "Again, it's for two reasons. Most importantly, because it's obvious to me that you haven't been a good mother or grandmother, if the brood has never been to a water park. So we have to correct that discrepancy." David was back to being an imp. "And secondly, because I remember the time the three of us went to the beach, and I got to see you both in your bikinis. Seeing two beautiful women in skimpy bathing suits again would do my heart wonders."

All three laughed, and the two women rolled their eyes at him. Holly said coquettishly, "I don't remember this side of you David."

"I'm not the same kid I once was." He said somberly, with more conviction, than he truly felt.

They had their day at the park and just like that Uncle David was a fixture in their lives. Holly and the kids loved him, but he was still a little standoffish with Bristol. Oh, they got along fine, but she wanted much more than an Uncle David for her kids.

The next several years passed quickly in the Calloway household. For all intents and purposes, they were a family even though David never stayed overnight.

Bristol and David did eventually become intimate but it wasn't until about two years after their reunion, and it was Bristol's prompting of course that pushed David into it.

"David, why aren't we having sex together? We were so good together. If you don't want to I understand, but you know I love you and want you more than anything."

Now David had been anticipating this conversation and had been planning an eloquent response for some time. However, the fact that Bristol was standing naked before him except for some black CFM's and thigh-high fishnet stockings when she asked the question, it sort of rendered his practiced words moot.

She was fully clothed when he had left the room to get them wine. When returned and saw her he was so stunned that he almost had a Ms. Elkins moment. He was trying to think of something clever to say, but all that came out was, "Oh my."

The next thing he knew it was 6:30 in morning and time to get ready for work. Bristol was nowhere to be found. Well, she did have a job. His memory of last night's activities came back in a rush and he was a truly satiated man.

After that night David and Bristol were a couple again. But this time David had no illusions regarding her fidelity. His feelings towards her were as deep and genuine as before, but he hid them from her. David couldn't bestow her that power over him again. He had no expectations of them being exclusive. Well, of her being exclusive anyway.

He nevermore went out another woman. Why should he, he was never very good at dating anyway. He took the position that he and Bristol were just very good friends with benefits.

He was also worried that if he allowed their relationship to be anything beyond an FWB association that something would screw it up, and he didn't want to take the chance that it would end his time with Holly and the kids. He would not let that happen.

During this period, David and Holly drew a lot closer to one another also. In a way, theirs was a more intimate relationship than the one he had with Bristol. David was coming more and more to view Holly as his mother.

David and Holly had many conversations over the years about Bristol and the children. Both knew that Bristol wanted more from David, but she never once interjected herself into that discussion. She had told David on many occasions how much his help with the children meant to her.

There were a few uncomfortable situations the two experienced together. Sometimes unannounced, Bristol would be missing from a family dinner, or be gone overnight. The kids seemed oblivious, but Holly and David knew what was happening. They were both embarrassed about it, but never discussed it. When Bristol would return, she made inadequate excuses that were ignored.

Holly readily admitted that as she aged she was finding it more difficult to be as active as the children needed. She loved all her grandkids to death and tried her best to spoil them. She was more than happy to leave the disciplinary duties to Bristol.

However, within a relatively short time though David became involved in correcting errant behavior. Both Bristol and Holly marveled out how willingly the children followed his direction. This was especially important for the boys, Joshua and Thomas, as they entered their teen years. David was a natural at parenting.

Time passed, and their lives assumed an inevitable routine. After a couple of years, Bristol quit pushing for a deeper intimacy with David. She just accepted that after what she had done to him, he couldn't give her anymore. Their lives could be best described as hectic but contented.

One evening after they had been back together for about five years, Bristol asked David to meet him at her mother's house. She said her mom was taking the kids on an overnight trip so the two of them could be alone.

When David entered the house, he expected to either see her naked and primed to wreak havoc on him, or dressed to the nines to go out somewhere and then ruin him later. But Bristol was dressed casually in a simple blouse and well-worn jeans. She still looked great to David. He noticed that she seemed morose, pensive, and was nervously wringing her hands.

"David, honey, let's head across the street to our park and talk for a bit." She locked her arm to his in her familiar manner and led him out the door. David didn't say a word, but worry showed clearly on his face.

As it was the dinner hour the park was very quiet. They sat on 'their' bench overlooking the pond adjacent to the playground as they had done hundreds of times before.

"What's going on Bristol? You're worrying me." He was searching her eyes for a clue as to what was bothering her.

She tucked her leg under her as she turned towards him. She sighed in contentment. "God, I love it here. I know I've told you before, but the times I spent here as a little girl are some of the best memories of my childhood. At least up until I met you." She smiled, leaned into him, and placed her head on his shoulder. "David, I know you love me. And I know that it is my fault that you can't give more of yourself to me."

"Bristol...we..."

"Shh David, I just need you to listen to me...I want us to get married."

David had to admit to himself that he hadn't seen that one coming, at least not so bluntly. He thought maybe someday she would put the full-court press on him, but this?

"David, I know I have hurt you more than anyone has a right to. And, you never gave me a single reason to pile all that on you. I am so sorry, but we need to get married, and right away..." The heavy despondency in her voice was very out of place for the circumstances.

"Bristol, just wait a minute..."

"David please, I promise I will be faithful to you. I need you to marry me." She was close to tears and biting her lower lip trying to remain calm.

"Please sweetheart, don't be offended, but you be faithful? Really?"

"I will, David, I promise."

"Honey, you cheated on me throughout our college relationship and got pregnant from another man after we were engaged. In the years we've been back together, how many different men have you been with?" She started to jump in, but David quickly put up the stop sign with his palm. "And now you tell me, you will be faithful for the rest of your life?"

Neither one of them said anything for several very uncomfortable minutes. Bristol was crying softly.

"I'm sure I can be faithful for a year David."

"A year, one year?"

"That's all I have left honey."

"What?"

"I'm sick, baby, really sick. I have cervical cancer, and it's bad. The three different doctors I've seen all tell me the same thing. I've got about a year."

"Oh my god. Oh crap..." he grabbed Bristol and rocked her gently in his arms. They were both crying unabashedly as they held each other.

David felt like he had been hit by a truck. The news staggered him into a state of shock, but then he had a dark epiphany. He pulled away quickly from their embrace. He stared straight into her eyes as he held her at arm's length. "My god...the children."

She was nodding in agreement. "Mom is the strongest person I know, but she can't take care of them by herself. She will never survive it. If you don't marry me and adopt them, what will become of them? You have to help me. Please, I'm begging you?"

David was motionless, frozen in thought. Bristol began to fear the worst when David slid off the bench and knelt before her. He grasped her right hand in both of his.

"Bristol Calloway, you know I love the kids almost as much as I love you. Will you marry me?"

Her tears had cleared, she spoke solemnly. "Yes David, I will marry you. We need to hurry though, there's not much time and so much to do."

"There is?"

"It can take a year or more to complete the adoption process. I am worried about our kids..."

"Our kids?" David interrupted. They looked lovingly at each other and beamed knowing smiles.

"Yes David, our kids." Then she got serious again. "If I pass before we can finish the process, I'm troubled about what will become of them. The entire system is clogged with red tape and bureaucratic sloth. I know my mom will try, but what if she gets sick? No, we have to start now." It was obvious how unnerved she was.

The next several weeks were a whirlwind of emotions for the entire family. Bristol had made Holly aware of her condition before talking with David, but the three of them told the children together. It was the hardest thing any one of them had ever done before, but there wasn't a lot of time to waste, so no one had too much time to feel sorry for themselves.

Bristol and David were married in a small civil ceremony as soon as was possible, with Holly and all four kids standing up for them. They decided to stay in Holly's cottage because it was where the kids were most comfortable and that would be important when her time came.

There were several other legal and emotional hurdles to overcome and to them, it seemed as if the process was just barely crawling forward.

Their married life was a complex contradiction of emotions. On the one hand, they were as happy as they had ever been. It reminded David of the period when they had first met. On the other hand, as time went by and Bristol got sicker, the stress level on both increased dramatically.

They enjoyed a fulfilling and intimate sex life for a few months. It wasn't the furious physical gymnastics they had when they were kids, but soft, gentle, and tender. But over time, even that became too painful for her to endure. So their intimacy was regulated to embracing and softly kissing each other in bed as only true soul mates could do, and still be completely satisfied. They didn't get much sleep because they spent hours talking about the children and countless things that still needed to be done.

Bristol was growing weaker, and her body was becoming frail. The drugs she was taking to help prolong her life made her sick and confused, but she persevered. She had no choice, the children were depending on her.

Finally, after a little more than a year, the day arrived. David called everyone into the living room. Holly wheeled Bristol into the room in her wheelchair. She had become so weak she couldn't walk. David looked very solemn. "We have to talk," as he looked them all in the eyes. He pulled some paperwork from an official-looking envelope. He paused dramatically, but before he could say anything, all six members of his family were alternately crying, cheering, laughing, and hugging each other. They all knew what the papers were. David joined in the celebration. His life was complete.

Both David and Bristol knew the end was approaching. Her work was finally finished. There was nothing left for her to do. The hospice nurse had prepared Bristol for her transition, smiled compassionately, and went and sat in a corner. David asked that she leave them alone but she explained solemnly why she couldn't. She knew too.

One by one, the children had come in to their mother's room so they could get a brief time alone with her to say goodbye. When Holly came in, both women were too emotional to speak. They hugged each other tightly. "Take good care of my family, Mom." Holly just nodded and ran out of the room. What more was there to say at a time like this?

Bristol gazed at David through her pain and the haze from the narcotics. "Honey, get on the bed with me. I'm scared, and I need you to hold me." She drifted back off, but David did as she asked.

David was beyond disconsolate, but he overcame his fear of hurting her fragile body. He supposed she was beyond hurting anyway. He climbed on the bed at her side and held her as tightly as he dared. . Through his tear filled eyes, he kept his eyes locked on her closed eyelids. He didn't want to miss it if she ever opened them again.

After a few moments, he felt her begin to slip away. "No, not yet," he pleaded, whispering softly in her ear. "I'm not... ready."

She must have heard his appeal. Her eyes opened and got bright as if she had a moment of clarity. It often happens with those just before they take their last breath. Bristol looked lovingly into David's eyes and slowly smiled. For a moment all the ravages of her cancer-caused pain were wiped away. "Oh, you're here."

"Of course I am sweetheart; I've been here all along. You know I've never left you in my heart." And he smiled back at her through his tears and unbearable sorrow.

"I know you have been." She got quiet and started to fade again, but with one last ounce of her life remaining, she reached out and lightly touched David's cheek. He clasped his hand over hers and brought it to his lips. He kissed it ever so lightly and she whispered.

"I was almost late for the love of my life."

He smiled as she had referenced a line from one of her favorite songs by the Lumineers.

"No, you weren't. You were right on-time. Maybe both of our lives went exactly as they were intended. Maybe all the hurt was to make this moment what it is. Who are we to know?"

Hearing David's words made her smile even brighter, her chocolate brown eyes had that enduring sparkle for one last time, and then her spirit passed into the ether. Her everything was lost to the ages. At that moment David felt a piece of his soul die but he would go on. After all, he had a promise to keep.

David's mind returned to the present just as his daughter Britton walked across the stage and received her diploma. He wiped at the tears in his eyes from the memory of his wife.

He didn't stand and cheer loudly, he didn't hold up a mindless cardboard sign, or otherwise make an idiotic spectacle of himself. He smiled and felt the satisfaction of a man who made a promise and kept it. He turned to his left and there sat Holly. She was his partner in all this, still at his side.

Their eyes met; she purposefully clasped his hand in hers and spoke. "Bristol would be so proud of you."

"I know." He smiled in understanding.

After they paused to appreciate their mutual satisfaction of a job well done, his always intuitive mother-in-law looked questioningly at him.

"I don't know what's next for me Mom, but I can't imagine my life without you and the kids in it. I guess we will just figure it out as we go along. In any case, I'm sure it will be as it was meant to be."