Falling Down

While a part of me railed against the idea of Karly picking who I spent time with and who I didn't, a very strong part of me realized that in this case being friends with Jacky would hurt Karly and no friendship was worth that.

"I need to make sure that I take care of Karly better than I took care of you." I finally settled.

She shook her head at me, something like panic seeping into her features, "We can be friends. Just friends. I can move on with us just as friends. I just get so lonely..."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. We can't be friends."

The look of sorrow on her face turned to one of despair, leaving me feeling like a monster. Leaving me feeling like I was the one turning my back on someone. I realized then, in that moment that there were times when you had to turn your back on someone, even when you didn't want to, even when you knew it was the absolute wrong thing to do...

With that, I put my headphones back in and went back to my book, I felt like a total asshole...

Chapter 6

I found myself sitting on the floor in the team hotel room the night before the State tournament started. Karly sat in front of me, my arms wrapped around her. Coach stood in front of the biggest group he had ever taken to the State tournament. Pride beamed across his face, but I could tell he was tense. The team had never won a State championship, and I could tell, in his mind he had already decided that with the raw number of guys he had in the tournament this was the best chance he ever had.

He was nervous, and under a great deal of stress.

He looked at all of us with intensity, his eyes landing on Karly in front of me. I could see those eyes narrow just a bit. He let it go, but I could tell he was not happy with it.

I decided that he could deal with it. I had been good. Karly was my girlfriend, and she had not been a distraction. She, if anything had kept me functional. I had had several panic attacks in the weeks leading up to the State tournament and she was the only thing that was keeping my mind straight. Coach didn't know about that, and I decided that he didn't need to know.

His eyes moved away from us and started ranging over the group again. "All of you have earned your spot here. Look around you. Each of you deserves this."

He put his beefy hands on his hips. "I won't lie to you. This is the biggest group that we have ever taken to the State tournament. It is the best chance we have ever had at walking away with a State Championship. Wrestling is an individual sport, and I know each of you is interested in placing the best you can for yourselves, but I also want you to all know that I'm counting on all of you to represent the team and do your best for your school."

He met each set of eyes in turn. "Some of you," his eyes landed on mine, "are ranked extremely highly in this tournament. I want to remind you, this isn't a regular tournament. There will be no easy matches. Your first match out of the gate is with either a District Champion, or with a runner up. I need you to remember that there is no coasting here. Every guy that you wrestle in the next two days will be your equal. Does everyone understand that?"

I looked around the room and saw a lot of heads nod. Sep was there. Joe had won his own district championship. Nick had come in second and had gotten a place at the table. The one that made me proudest was that Shawn, the other heavyweight on the team had come in second... he was sitting beside me. Our weeks of wrestling had put a shine on him. I had watched with pride as he used one of the moves I had shown him to put away a kid that had beaten him every time they had wrestled.

He looked at me and I smiled at him. He elbowed me. We had struck up something of a friendship over the past few weeks. One that I was extremely proud of. He was a good kid, and had worked really hard. I was proud to have him at my side.

"Let's go over some rules while we're here. All of you will be there for the entire tournament. I expect you to stay in our team's section." He looked over at the four parents that had agreed to come as chaperones. There were more parents that were traveling to watch their kids, but these four were the official team chaperones. We knew, their word was just as strong as coach's. Karly's mom and dad were there, as well as one of the other kids on the team, Todd. "I want to thank Karly's parents, Mister and Missus Kay, and Todd's parents, Doctor and Missus Benjamin for helping out. There are enough of you here this year that the coaches will have a hard time keeping up with matches. They are going to be watching out for you during our off time. What they say goes."

His eyes narrowed, "And remember, while practices may be over for those of you who are seniors... I still control your Varsity letter."

I laughed. Some of the guys could get a little rowdy on normal trips, so a trip at the end of the season, with no consequences... that could be a quick nightmare.

"So, if one of you kicks a hole in the wall, and finds the need to replace it with say... toothpaste...? You'll be hearing from me."

I eyed Joe and Sep as they nervously laughed...

They had kicked a hole in the wall of the hotel room at the Reno tournament this year and had hastily patched it with toothpaste. Apparently, coach had heard something about it...

Coach put his hands back on his hips. "All I can say is that was not a fun phone call, and we are all lucky the hotel couldn't prove the wall wasn't like that before we got there..."

Coach gave me a stern look and I shook my head at him. "We won't have a repeat performance. Am I clear?"

There was a raucous, "Yes coach!" that ran through the room.

We all got to bed early that night...

Emotions were high. People were nervous.

I ended up sharing a bed with Shawn... not my preferred sleeping partner, but Karly had her own room down the hall...

I considered asking coach if I could sleep with her.

I don't think he'd have thought the joke was funny.

We woke in the morning, had breakfast with the team, and headed over to the tournament. Coach caught me as I got off the bus. "You have a number one seed. You get that doesn't mean much once that whistle blows, right?"

I smiled at him. "I know coach. Doesn't matter where you start the tournament. Only matters where you finish."

He smiled at me, "Good boy."

I destroyed the first kid I faced. As the number one seed I faced the last placed seed in the tournament. It was unfortunate for him. I took him over in an arm throw in the first thirty seconds of the match and pinned him in under forty-five seconds.

I thought my second match was going to be exactly as much of a joke. The kid was aggressive, but clumsy. As soon as the whistle blew, he charged me like an enraged bull. He had weight on me, but no control. I could tell he was strong, and used to using that strength to beat on guys he wrestled. I was his match in strength, knew I had technical skill on him, and was much faster than he was.

I had this match in the bag.

His first charge pushed us both out of bounds. The ref brought us back to the center, reset us and blew the whistle again. He charged me hard, and I ducked underneath his attempt to lock up with me. My arms circled around him in a bear hug. As soon as I had him set I knew the match was over.

Apparently, nobody sent him a copy of the memo. I don't know what he was thinking, but he almost instantly tried to hit me with a head and arm throw, only he really only got hold of my head...

It didn't stop him from throwing both of us hard to the side. Not a big deal. Just hold on to the bear hug, and once we hit the mat, readjust and pin him.

As we hit I felt my right wrist pop...

It stung a bit, but my hand popped right open. He squirmed and like that he was free. He didn't press it. He knew I had him and it caused him to back off fast.

Coached screamed at me for letting him go. I cussed myself for letting him loose. I had him goddamn it!

I stood with him, shaking my hand as the pain started to bleed in.

Must have given me a stinger when he landed on me. I thought, trying to get the burning in my hand and wrist to go down. Just roll with it. Give it a chance to calm down.

We circled. My hand started to really hurt. I tried to buy some time, circling around him and testing how good his shoot defense was. He charged me a few times and I started to realize that the best way for me to put him out of my misery was going to be to go back to the bear hug. It was obvious from his first reaction that he had no defense to it, so if I could just get it locked in I knew he was doomed.

He charged hard again and like textbook, I wrapped him in a bear hug. I could tell for some reason he was thinking he was in a good position. He thought he had me in a double underhook. What he was too stupid to understand was that with my hands locked around his back he had zero leverage.

I was more conservative this time. This time, I wasn't going to try to take him over hard. I was going to pick him up, squeeze the life out of him and then put him straight on his back.

My hands tightened and my right hand screamed in agony...

I forced myself to ignore the pain and lifted him off the ground.

Once again, my wrist popped and this time the pain was so intense my knees went weak, and my grip turned to water. He felt my grip slip and like that he threw another head and arm. This one was far more successful than the last. Instinct was the only thing that kept me from getting pinned. I felt him shift and threw myself into the roll.

Had I reacted a blink faster I would have taken him over the top of me and ended up on top. A blink slower and I would have ended up on my back, fighting to keep myself from getting pinned.

My reaction was just good enough to put us both in a shitty stalemate. My right hand was useless, so I used my left to attempt to get loose. He continued to try to pull me in, not realizing that there was no way he was going to get enough leverage to get me into a takedown, much less a pinning position. We lay on the mat for the last thirty seconds of the round. Too tied up to get loose, but both in too awkward of a position to leverage for something better.

The whistle blew, signaling the end of the round.

I would have been disappointed had the pain in my hand not been blinding. I tried to put my weight on it to get up and it was like I was trying to cut my own hand off...

Finally, using a centering technique my dad had shown me I managed to get my mind calmed and got to my feet. The hand hurt, but I could do it. I could gut through it. This guy was a loser. He was overzealous, he was clumsy. I just needed to wrestle better than him. I needed to be clever and use my speed. A little rest between matches, maybe get coach to tape my wrist to make it a little more stable and I'd be fine.

I looked over at coach and he was screaming at me to get my act together. He seemed really pissed...

I worked my way over to the center while the ref flipped the coin. It came up red. I was green...

Please don't take top. Please don't take top. I pleaded inwardly...

"Top."

Fuck!

Having to go down meant I had to go to all fours, hands and knees. Worst of all, that meant I had to put my hands flat on the mat, and that meant that I had to support not only my own weight, but my opponent's as well.

Well, this is going to fucking hurt... I told myself as I cradled my wrist to my body and dropped down, both knees and my left hand to the mat. Be tough. It's only for a second. Once the whistle blows, pull your weight off of it and get the hell out of there.

I put my right hand on the mat and agony screamed up my arm. I meant to put it all the way down flat, as you were required to do, but all I could manage was a curled hand. It wasn't legal... I wasn't where I was supposed to be.

My opponent wrapped his arms around me. I thanked god himself he set himself on my left side...

I prayed for the fucking whistle...

Be tough. It's coming. I promised myself.

Instead of the one short whistle that would have signaled the start of the round there was one long whistle. My opponent twitched anyway, sending a shiver of the most grinding pain I had ever felt driving through my body...

"Warning, green, false start."

Fuck! Wait, what? I'm fucking green!"

I looked at the ref, agony in my face, trying to convey my confusion...

"Green. You have to put your hand flat on the mat. Your right hand is cupped."

Fuckfuckfuck!

Coach was screaming at me for not paying attention. I just ignored him...

I reset myself. Laying my right hand as flat as I could I felt the pain shoot up my arm. I had to do this. I had to. Another false start and I'd lose a point. Eventually I'd get dq'd. I had two choices. Get my hand down flat or give the match.

"Green, set!"

I forced my hand flat on the match. The pain was agony. I had never felt anything like it in my entire life...

My jaw clenched and my teeth chattered.

I forced my mind into a calm place...

I can do this... I promised myself.

My opponent got himself on top of me.

I swore to myself that if the ref called me again I would quit... I couldn't take this again.

"Top set?" I could feel my opponent shake his head.

"Bottom set?"

Just blow the fucking whistle you fucking cunt! My brain screamed.

I shortened it to just nodding my head.

The whistle blew and I was out of there like a fucking meteor. I hipped out to my right side, curling my right arm back, flipping my left leg beneath me and sliding out from beneath him like a shot. I was way too fast for him to hold on to me and I could tell once again he had no chance against me.

As I spun from his grasp I lashed out with my left hand and palm struck my opponent out away from me.

Escape! That puts me up by a point!

I couldn't rest on that though. My chances of pinning this guy without being able to use my right hand were slim to none. That meant I had to go a full six minutes with him. Someone was going to have to go down in the third round, and after having done that, and escaping from it I promised myself that there was no way in fucking hell that someone was going to be me. I needed some points so I could start stalling. It was a shitty plan, but I needed to buy myself some time to get my wrist to stop hurting so badly, and I needed to win this match if I wanted to stay in the winner's bracket...

I lashed out with an open palm strike any time he got close to me. I knew I was telegraphing that I was hurt, but I couldn't help but keep my right hand curled up defensively against my chest.

I remembered all of the times I had practices a left-handed stance...

I had started it as a goof, like I was doing something clever. As I went on I started to realize being able to offset my body was sometimes handy...

Considering I had to use a left-handed stance in order to fend off this charging bull while I bought myself some time to think I was really glad for that practice...

I needed a takedown I didn't have to use my right hand for...

My double leg depended on my grabbing both the guys knees.

My single depended on me being able to lock up.

Fireman's carry would work, but was one of my worst take downs...

As I worked through and discarded moves I realized that I really had only two choices. An overhook throw, and a high crotch. The overhook had two benefits. The first, and most appealing, was it took my opponent straight to their back. The second was that I threw all my overhook throws to my left side and I didn't have to use my right hand at all to pull it off.

Problem was, I had to pull his weight over my body, and that meant taking an impact on my right hand. I also needed to be able to close the throw out and pin him, which meant I'd have to flip and put my right hand beneath his head...

The throw was the kind of takedown that was either a home run, or a sacrifice fly... it either ended in a pin, or nothing at all. I would not be able to convert it to a takedown if I flubbed the pin...

High crotch it is...

The high crotch was going to be tough. I needed to put all my weight beneath my opponent, thread my right hand through his legs, grab my right forearm with my left hand and lift my opponent bodily off the mat...

Fuck it. I thought as I palm struck him in the forehead again.

It was the sixth palm strike I had thrown at him. He was used to it and must have figured the next one was a great opportunity to charge me again. His hands went out to grab me and I just wasn't there anymore...

I felt my knee kiss mat, my shoulder strike him in the waist, my left hand wrapped around my right forearm...

The pain was still intense. Not as intense had I tried to lock my hands but still very bad. I had intended to lift him bodily off the mat. Use the pressure on his groin to knock him off balance but the pain broke my concentration for a split second. I settled for driving him on his ass. I made doubly sure to get my hands out from beneath him prior to him hitting. Had he landed on my hand I would have blacked out from the pain, I was sure of it...

He went to his ass and like a fool he tried to wrap his arms around me and muscle his way out of it...

His coach was screaming at him to get to his stomach.

He banged my hand a little bit as he flipped over and I nearly screamed from the pain...

I ended up on top.

Three points up! That means two full stalling penalties ahead... room to breathe! My brain screamed.

I considered my options. With only one hand there was no chance I would be able to roll him over. I had zero moves that did not use my dominant hand from the top. At least not with him flat on his stomach. If I let him get to all fours I could leg in. That put me at risk of him getting lose on my again, and if he got to his feet I would lose some of my precious lead...

I settled with using aggression to substitute for movement. I slid up his body and have him a right forearm shiver to the back of the head. Normally I'd have used it to unsettle my opponent. This time I was just making it look like I was taking a moment to settle on a move. Pain shot up my arm, but it was manageable. I came across his face with my left arm, trying to make it look like I was going for a double under.

In reality; I was stalling my ass off.

He surged up to all fours and I did the one thing that was available to me. I legged in.

He went down like a sack of bricks...

It was both a win and a loss for me. On the plus side, there was no way he could get away from me...

On the negative side, I had so much control over him that there was no way he could get out. That put the onerous on me to progress the match...

I was going to get called for stalling very quickly. With only my left hand, and a leg in, I had a chance of pinning him... had I practiced closing out pins with my left arm...

I hadn't put that practice in though...

So, I did something crazy. I let him sit out. In order to block it I would have needed to lean my weight back on my right hand, no way I could do it...

I let the leg in go and laid a body scissor him. It was a jack move. There was no way I was getting a pin out of it, not against a wrestler of his class. One thing it did however...

It made it look like I was trying to get a pin.

I never got back points. I never got him close to a pin. It sure looked like I was trying though...

I stalled out the rest of the match. I drew my warning, and then he got his point... I managed to hold out.

I made the ref raise my left hand.

Coach caught me as I went to the side and started to grab my warm ups. "What the hell was that? You had that kid outclassed by a mile."