by Hot_Sister
... be the person making $700,000 a day with 50 Shades of Grey?
My sexual arousal dies a terrible death when confronted with horrible writing. Thus, I made it through only 11 pages of the book currently squatting offensively on the top of the NY Times bestseller list. Had the content been in your capable hands I expect I would be a fan.
You're incredibly talented. I didn't even finish this story before favoriting you.
god they seemed real people they were not eh? I would have fucked Jennifer too
Lovely, just lovely! ^.^ Well-written and nicely developed, likable characters, beautiful, sensual, poetic... Reminiscent of the author youbadboy, which is a huge compliment from me. There's a certain writing style I enjoy the most from others, and you possess it. Wonderful story. Can't wait to read more.
One of the best stories I have read!
My English is not enough to express what I felt while reading this magnificent story.
For a few moments, I closed my eyes and was David, loving Jenny more than anything in the world.
Can't wait for Ch.2. I'll read it as soon as I have time.
If I could, I would give it a 10!
Articulate writing on Literotica. And good plot developement! What will they think of next? Btw: your story's pretty hot, too.
That reminded me of the times with my sister. Excellent read. I hope you do some more
You are truly gifted at writing erotica. The reader feels as if they were the one receiving her gift.
Excellent writing skills.........incredible !!
...can I breathe now ? :-)
Thanks for a great story.
Really captured the buildup of desire, and its final ravishing power and climax.
The writing in this story is really superior. Keep it up!
This is one of the nicest written brother-sister incest single-stage short stories I've read in a long time. Well done, looking forward to reading much more of your work. 5 stars
Held me at the edge waiting for more as the story progressed.
With all the noise they were making I expected mom to come in and see them then tell them it was ok making a great ending.
I'm barely on page 1 and this is damn good!
Taking a drink of cold water and off to read page 2.
Just an incredible story. I have read several of your stories and have not found one that I did not rate 5 stars.
you made me feel like it was my sister and i was falling in love with her
Wow!one of the most erotic romantic stories ever
Ok,that was fuckin awesome!Eyes the color of doves wings...Hope to hell I can use that line sometime in my life.
Hope you've got a lot more stories out there cuz I'm damn sure gonna be lookin...
Thank's!
Very well written, loved your characters and their play. You make the reader (me) feel a part in the story. Extremely erotic, hot and taboo. Adored your creation. Will read more.
With such a HOT story like that, make's me wish I had a brother like that...
Loved the writing. Erotic, taboo, descriptive. So very hot! Wil have to read more of you stories.
What a magnificent story...well crafted...dynamic tempo and a simply elegant tale on a troublesome topic. I'm now in my late 70s and supremely regret that I never considered my late sister as a potential sexual liaison. If only we could relive certain aspects of our lives. But your written offering will serve to bring me vicarious pleasure of an event that never happened to me. I think that for me it is less of the sex and more of the intense intimacy that would have propelled me into action.
Love your work, it really sang to me. Wish my three sisters had come across like that, but then I was a wimp and did not let my true feeling out, thanks to the traditional aspect of sibling relationships in my day.
Very good. Just one question for donrico. Is splindiforus a word?
I loved it!!! That was HOT! HOT! HOT!
There's a paragraph in the middle of page 2 that starts 'Even though I couldn't touch her intimately...' that is a beautiful expression of the awakening of love. I cite that passage, but actually the entire story is very well crafted. A very masterful job!
You should have a lot of 5s for this. Great build-up, the tension and fulfilment were well done.
Well done! Thoroughly enjoyed this. The way you created and described that sexual tension was perfect. It didnt drag on, and it didnt end too quickly. Well done!
I thought it was outstanding! Thanks for a Five Star erotic tale!
Very erotic, I loved it! Thanks for just an outstanding story!
Erotic and yet still very warm and loving.
A simple little game that changed both of their lives forever, and for them, it was finding the perfect lover and mate. Someone that was the absolute best person to love.
Thanks for the good read
...since my morals are fractured enough. I would have called it "Drawn into my Sister" in re Scorpio's complaint. I've always found it fairly hypocritical that this category is okay but Lit won't let great authors like Stang Star even refer to a possibility of underage sex. Any way, you are a very good writer, maybe stretch your horizon's a bit in a new category?
Excellent writing! I loved the details - not just the characters and their action, but even the descriptions of the clouds. And yet none of it seemed waste or unimportant - you tell a good story.
This could stand alone, or be part of a series (which you also do well) - although I suspect it is hard to maintain credibility.
I think this is your best work to date!
Wow that was a very hot story!
I hope you continue with another one.
I'd love to have a sister like that.
That was a pretty damn good story, but I do wish you'd make another one maybe "Falling for Jennifer 2?" I don't know but still I enjoyed reading it
Haven't you ever heard of "Falling in Love" - no accident implied there and have you ever "Fell for someone" - no accident implied either. Yes, English is a fucked up language.
Just keeps building until it just flattens you...Ripe for a sequel (which I hope you consider)...Very hot...Well done...
I wrote earlier to express my enjoyment for your story. Then it downed on me. Why did the story end with the fuck? I mean, is that really the end of the story? You seem to care so much for your characters throughout the build up then give up on them after sex. What were they thinking? How did this change their lives? How long did this sexual relationship last? Did either one of them have a boy or girl friend? Did mom find out? And where was dad or is there a dad? Way to many unanswered questions to make this a truly fulfilling story. Now . . . if this was just part one, that’s a different story. So was this part one or, like sex for some people, once the climax is over your done?
Again, after thinking more about the story I realized that this brother-sister tale might have ended with a climax but their story certainly does not.
The first seven paragraphs were one of the most effective intros to any story I have ever read. Thank You.
I liked the story. Did he "fall" for Jennifer? I don't think so. Did he finally admit to his feelings for her and she admit to her feelings for him? I think so. "Falling" implies an accident. Not one of their actions was "by accident." Jenn left the bathroom door open. It wasn't an accident. Even with that semantic discord I found the story HOT and well written. Thanks.
Very good build up and climax. You've done this before. Now we need a follow-up. Perhaps a very sexy cousin could visit....discover what they are doing ....and join in.
I wish I had a sister to fuck like that, Great story, just drained my balls
i can't read anything else here. that is excellent writing, truly. i could go on with detail, as you did, but you already know. just excellent.
you never say how old they are so we don't know if they are in high school, college or out of college. we would have a better understanding of them if you told us thier ages. if he was just out of high school or in a local college then we could see why he would stay even with the tension. if he was out of college then the way you wrote it it would have made more sense for him to move out so he could get away from her and the temptation
Are you sure this is a story of fiction? It just seems too real -- as if you are relaying a personal experience that was so vivid, so luscious the words came gushing out.
Oh wait -- that's what good writers do and you are indeed a good writer. Loved the way you use the weather outside to define the buildup taking place inside. Great use of descriptive phrases that shed light onto the brother-sister relationship such as “the air is as thick as a wet sponge” and “the rain that everyone begged for still had not come” brings a literary sense to human relations.
Totally satisfying piece of literature.
omg...your story is amazing. so beautifully written with vivid detaill and the prolonged desire dripping off the page (screen?).
I didn't want it to end, but boy, when it did it ended well! the emotion and passion of the final scene was the perfect creshendo for the tension and desire that had been building throughout.
I hope to read more about these close-knit siblings soon.
Loved every sentence in this story, sooo erotic from start to finish.
Your words make a reader feel like they are a part of this story. You MUST keep this going. It is too hot to end here.
Excellent story...many try but few succeed...everything was superb...story line, hesitancy, passion, forbidden pleasure...great pace and WONDERFUL climax!!
Where to from here?? The sky is the limit....right??
Thanks!!
I loved it. Your characters are brilliant. The way you've kept the tension up the entire story was magnificent and I would love to read more. Maybe we'll get lucky and you'll decide to make it into a series. Thank you for one of the most erotic reads so far.
You are an artist that has painted an erotic masterpiece with a word processor, so finely done you can see even the finest detail in each brush stroke. Gave it a 5. Keep it up!
Got me hard from the first time he saw her naked and it never stopped till the end .