All Comments on 'Falling Hard Ch. 13'

Please keep going, this is really fun and interesting. Glad to see Mick's not just a paper-pusher. And nice touch with the cabbie...

Well, I have to say this one was a heck of alot less confusing then your last submission. Thank you for getting back on track.

I LOVE this story, but I'm still so confused! Who the hell (no pun intended) does Athan work for? Or is he just a rogue angent out to help people/angels? Why are there evil people/angels in Heaven? Why does Banner hate Athan so much? See what I mean? I don't get it!!!

Your first chapters were great but I'm getting extremely frustrated with the character development. I also find that even with 13 chapters of story, Virta and Mandi are pretty unlikable. Virta has virt-ually no backbone; I'm not even sure what she really thinks because she keeps wavering between believing that Athan is good and...well, not good. Not to mention she is dumb as a bucket of bricks. And what was up with Mandi in this chapter? Stripping for a guy that horribly abused her? I just really don't understand what you're going for here. Athan is the only character I have any remote sympathy for. I think you should take a little more time with your female characters and the story would start to fill out.

This might be hard but after each chapter ask yourself if it mattered in relation to your previous chapters? Huh? Okay. We want to read about the maincharacters. Athan and Virte. At Chap 13 we should be getting somewhere and this seems stagnant. Please let Chap 14 be better

I've had mix feeling with this chapter too but overall I can see where you are going with it with Mick involving as to be frank he was one of the main character here as well. Seems like Heaven ain't really that pure as well as there are indeed rogue angels - I mean real rogue angels like the General and Rose that are trying to take care of things in their own hand bypassing higher authority like - God himself? I would suggest you stop with Mick and Mandi story here until you finish with Athan and Virta then restart with Mick and Mandi later as you've already give us a glimpse of these two characters. I really want to read the developement of Athan and Virta. Yeah, I want to read hot sex between these two main character fucking until the bed crash. LOL! As someone said Virta started off well but her indecisiveness of her feeling towards Athan is really getting onto my nerve. Make her character much stronger and more decisive with things in life. Make her really outstanding to be the worthy heroine you started her out with. I still like the way you penned out this story about heaven and hell. Not everything is really black or white as it should be. There are indeed greyish area even in sparkling clean Heaven. :) Keep up the good work!