All Comments on 'Family Needs Pt. 01'

Poor grammar and punctuation made this a difficult read!

Good premise but not written well at all. Google the proper way to write dialogue. It will help your next entry.

get an editor quick.

The verbage, the way you don't use contractions, and the typos made this story bad. Thou have tho realize that people use contractions when they speak, and thou have tho use them when you write, or it won't read naturally.

See Tom Run? Tom runs fast. This is written. By a third grader. Tom. Fast. Badly. Childish.

Joining previous commentators with what seem very negative. Please try to find the good wishes within. A spellchecker programme should be first on your list of things to download. Follow that with grammar checker or an editor. Next, thesaurus; an entire book of replacement words you could use, these will expand your vocabulary eliminating some repitious verbage.

The story line is decent it is the rest that needs polishing.

Please get an editor. The story seems good, but three paragraphs in a kept running into run on sentences and lack of markings to know who was talking or thinking or whatever. I realize that writing in English is difficult as it has so many nuances for punctuation and Grammer. Take your time, hone the craft and please try again.

Awful writing

Skipping stars because this is a solid draft with lots of potential fun later in the story.

Each new thought needs its own paragraph for clarity and ease of reading. Each character's speaking session needs its own paragraph. It is a new thought from a new person.

Story descriptive text should use formal grammar etc. Throw some quotes around spoken text, and then do your contractions and normal spoken language there. That is just clarity and a polite comfort for the reader.

Editing is super easy now with things like free Grammarly and simple MS Word or Google Docs corrections. Before you publish use a text-to-speech system. MS Word's is good but there are hundreds you can use. You will hear the issues before you see them.