All Comments on 'Family Ties'

Good story!

5

Excellent story once again, Mr. Hooked.

it was a nice story but it was a bit rushed and lack emotional oomph. A few points to highlight:

I think Kim needed more development to build personality and have some playful snippets with Dan. Didn't have time to like her enough to feel the impact of her death.

Switching back and forth between Elvie and Elvira was weird, I think just keeping Elvie throughout would've been better and more endearing.

Would've liked a revisit with Traci for some karma.

Good story, but what happened to Traci and her lawyer?

More please . . . you've got us hooked with another beautiful story. I was concerned thru most of the story that it would turn out that Elvie was actually Kim's daughter. I guess I spend too much time on Literotica! 5 Stars!

Beautiful story. Five stars all the way. I do wish he had beat the hell outta the lawyer, but that’s just me. 🤪

First of all, what’s wrong with having Pop Tarts every day? You know Pop Tarts and roaches will be the only things to survive a nuclear Holocaust!

Great story.

Good story, but I'd probably think a continued sisterly relationship is more likely.

Not to slight the author, but every time I read "Did I ever deny you any love, or anything in the bedroom? If you hadn't come home early, you still wouldn't know..." I want to punch that character.

Zero follow up on traci. It would have been nice to hear it didn't work out for her if nothing else

lost me when u went appellation on me just ew. 21 year diff what did they talk about?

Great story until the abrupt end.

I know that Dan ended up with a much better life with both Kim and Elvie. But i am curious as to what happened with Traci. Not that it matters, after all she lost Dan. Even if Traci and her lawyer lover decided to make it permanent, He would never be able to trust her. She was cheating on her husband with him. Not exactly the best way to start a relationship.

5 Stars. Though I hated that you killed off Kim!

I agree with most of the comments, it felt unfinished, too many loose ends and the ending was really abrupt. Good writing and editing as per usual, however one thing you might want to fix is "antiques" should have been "antics".

Nice story, Mr. 1957. Write another, please! Randi.

Could’ve been an epic. Felt like an outline. Overall not bad though.

Still working my way through this but had to pause pg 1 at the puking scene... Really? Other than here on Lit, who pukes when discovering a cheating wife. That's got to be #1 on the cliche list. Sorry for the rant.

Kind of a fairy tale, but nice. Not much sex, but that's ok. Would have been a nice twist, to have Traci and her lawyer lover involved in a crash outside of a game he was covering, where her lover lost his dick, and she got burnt pretty bad.

Great story. Hope dan has many years with Elvie

"so we can all see how this works out?" - In other words, if things "work out" with Lafforge, Dan's history, and if they don't, then he's her fall-back plan.

/

"teenage goofball antiques" - LOL, "antics!"

/

Sweet story, but kind of a flat ending - they had a baby, named her after his late wife, The End.

/

I know this isn't Loving Wives, but SOMETHING about his first wife would have been good. Doesn't have to be all BTB, but she was just trying Lafforge on for size, maybe have it not work out and have her try to get him back, or something.

Very good! Just like things occur in real life... Yeah, Traci and Dickhead walked away unscathed, but as has been stated so often, "The best revenge is a life lived, well." Without Traci and Dickhead, Dan would've never had Kim or Elvie.

.

Game. Set. Match.

Awww, I LOVE tear-jerkers.

****Good read very entertaining story. Thanks for sharing.

I have enjoyed many of you stories and have favourited a few, however, I feel that your most recent stories are just going through the motions. The premise behind this story is interesting but it could have been much better developed.

I have like your stories for sure this in my feelings is missing some time from asking the parents to the end keep them coming I will them for sure

Great story right up to the ending oh wait there wasnt n ending just n end.

Great story. Too bad you didn’t include a paragraph of Tracie getting dumped and fired by the boss lawyer after she gets pregnant by another guy during a one night stand!

Great love story with such sadness and loss but yet there was happiness with Kim an then in again with Evie, but in the end it really needed a final conclusion. An Epilogue would be a nice touch that included what happened to Traci and talked about the future of Dan's and Evie's had together.

Just got around to reading all your stories including this one.

Loved them all.

Write more!

Very good but agree with Rancer46

Where is the end?.

Very nice. Well done.

And then......................

nitpic, thought you had read enough stories to find the end! . . .' the same green eyes her namesake had.' When you see these words STOP, your there! Enjoyed your tale, 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

It ends by diving off a cliff.

Good ending. Beautiful and lovely story and romantic end. Five star 🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟

Good story. The first part about his first wife could have been left out with a simple paragraph about his "ex", but still a good story.

Good story

I couldn’t believe it when I saw the stars scroll up!

It’s over???

This turned out to be a waste of time. So much good for an introduction, but so little for a veal story.

:-(

Bill S.

??

Where is the usual Hooked1957 destruction of Traci?

I enjoy a nice, light tale with no violent revenge or too many details. I assume this author similarly finds writing such a tale uplifting as well.

To the confused commenters: this is a short story. You don't get every detail in every character's life - past, present, and future. Traci and her dick-of-the-month lawyer are cheaters; they will always be cheaters - fuck 'em. I see no benefit in expanding the short piece of this story with more MC/Kim period details. I see no benefit in more details about the MC/Elvie future. Let it rest, folks, or go buy a novel.

Thanks, Hooker. I even enjoyed the "antiques" spellcheck gaff. Please search "lie vs lay" on the internet.

Keep 'em comin'.

Eeeehhh, a bit too much on the creepy, grooming side for me.

Not sure this is in the right category... LW and Romance maybe??

Abrupt ending

To ForensicFossil:

A good life lived well.

I agree with Willowgby, a nice tale.

Lolololololololol. Bahahaha. I shouldn't laugh but these fantasies are so pathetic.

Sounds like a midlife crisis…….

Not sure about the plot but quite well put together

It's a heart braker but with a happy twist and ending. Good thing that Larry and Arlene were as understanding as they were. Not sure I would want my daughter marrying some old guy that was 21 years her senior. Thanks

Just got through reading the list of comments and I know I've already left a post regarding the story, but this one however is about the revenge thirsty readers that want karma and justice for Dan being cheated on by Tracie. Had to laugh and just hope I don't piss any of these people off too much. BTW, I also enjoy when the cheater gets their reward, or beat down, or what ever, lol.

I like one of your stories finally but the story ending needs some work

Why didn't he sue Jason and the firm?.Also what happened to Leo?.

Love the story. Is there going to be a follow up chapter? AAAAAA++++++

Can't believe parents would want their 18 year old daughter to marry a man twenty one years older than her, no matter how good of a man he is. She is just a baby at that age and the ignorant pervert should know better than play on her innocence. Their marriage will be fraught with turmoil. Did not like the story at all. 2/5

My father was 17 years older than my mother. Dad was 49 when I was born and Mom 3 1. They were married 28 years when Dad died. They had two more children after me. No one had better parents. I miss them both.

Point is, enjoy the love regardless. It's up to the two individuals to decide for themselves. At the age they were, the parents have no say in the matter.

I was 19 when I married and my better half was 18. We made to 57 years when my best friend died last November.

I've read a few of your stories and Traci is always the name of the cheater. I would guess that they woman that cheated on you was named Traci. Good story but it ended too abruptly.

Great, well-balanced slice of life.

Some plot points skipped over (like dealing with underwater house) and surprisingly smooth acquiescence by the in-laws. Otherwise, a sound story.

Timeline?

"I felt extra-bad for Elvie: only 13 and having her best friend and sister destined for death."

"...and just seven weeks later she was back in the hospital at death's door."

"I thought back quickly; Elvie was 16 when Kim died."

The last sentence put a tear in my eye.

Good story beginning, but somehow incomplete.

Marriage to a younger sister used to be very common. A widow marrying the brother or cousin was also common. And the age gap is a deal, but not a deal breaker.

1st the cheating bitch-whore then you have to miscarry then cancer kill his good wife (you just have to kick him bad then worse?) on the way to hopefully the long term final wife, talk about being made to pay heavy dues.

A good story, but very abrupt ending. 4 stars. DMW aka

4 stars as what happened to the Dog?

need a little more of an ending ? i still liked it enough to give it 5 stars by itself,though i kinda thought/hoped there a little more to it .

Great attorney but a crappy apartment?? Guess she wasn't that good after all.

Excellent story and storyline. Need more info on Leo?..! Need chapter two for continuation of a great story. Thank you.

Man ... You cannot stick the landing at all

The ages don't add up. Elvie was 10 when they met and MC was 27 and Kim 24. So Elvie would have been 22 when MC was 39.

Not that it makes much difference but at least she'd have been a fully fledged adult and not just someone the MC preyed on and groomed.

Also Viagra wasn't invented until 1998 so she couldn't have said there are pills for that.

Importantly when she is in her 40s he will be in his 60s and she'll be doing the girls night out thing. But I guess that is a story for another time.

The biggest failing of this story is that there is no follow up with the ex. No meeting her in a restaurant etc years later with a young pregnant Elvie on his arm. Or walking in a park pushing his baby on a stroller... Or at PTA meeting because they're children are in the same class/school/uni whatever.

Unfortunately this story at the moment just reads like a hastily finished slice of life.

Gosh, Hooked, you are known for abrupt endings to your stories but this one doesn’t even HAVE an ending. You must have accidentally hit the “ submit” button. Please re-submit this one with some sort of ending! Could have been a five star ⭐️ story.

Great but I think I'm missing the last page...