All Comments on 'Fantasy Date'

to me, a writer is almost never able to pull off stories written in the 2nd person. 1st person or 3rd person is no problem for a new writer. 2nd person is just painful to read.

Please rewrite it and resubmit it.

1st person is so much easier to read!

I agree. Hard to read as written. Great idea insofar as plot, yet rewrite and reposting would be super helpful.

Doing it behind her husbands back is cheating, her agreement is she has permission if the husband watches if he finds out he will certainly be annoyed.

But I do not comprehend a husband wanting or agreeing for another man to fuck his wife, it seems to me that he has a mental problem, and if she carries on behind his it will almost certainly bring on a divorce.

Whorewife in an almost impossible to read story.