All Comments on 'Fantasy Football'

written crap with little or no effort put in by writer.

If she gets pregnant, has a bastard child, and leaves her husband for Donte, hubby will embrace your story. Very few others will, as this normal white wife goes nuts for black guy she meets in grocery store, is getting tiresome.

Well, it does say "Fantasy Football", so let's not get upset.

. . . this kind of quick pick up really does happen, perhaps a lot more often than husbands realize.

I’ve written a couple of flash stories like this, and commenters are frequently annoyed that there are few consequences for the wife. In most cases, a one night (day?) stand won’t get discovered, so there aren’t consequences, not unless the wife gets pregnant or catches some STD.

everything about this story made me think it happened. It even talked about her guilt and so long as it’s a one-off, hubby will never know.

Now if she ends up pregnant....we’ll, thats a huge risk and a whole ‘nother story.

Hope she did get pregnant

excellent slice of life...Pro football player or whatever... Many have traveled this path... thank you 5

But while she is hoping hubby never has a reason to find out, most of us are hoping the whore gets both an STD and pregnant. Why because if her husband cheated on her she'd divorce him and clean him out, right. sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Such disrespect deserves Justice.

Short and the sex scenes were dull.

As a vignette, this reads OK. Concept is fine, some depth added by the woman's emotional reaction of guilt.

But, the sex didn't do it for me. While written from a woman's pov, the sex seemed more like a typical male-oriented porno film. I cannot imagine why any guy would want to be standing while getting a blow-job. I'd want to get comfy on a bed or sofa. I wouldn't be fully clothed with my dick hanging out of my pants, etc.

This is all male porn pov, not a good imaging of female pov or even a non-porn male pov. But ... it might fit the intended audience.

This is a well-written short story. You mixed the present and past tenses quite a bit, but otherwise there are no glaring errors. I was surprised when I clicked over to your profile and learned the author is a male. I would have bet money it was a female. So kudos for that.

Yes this story is short and a little light on the actual sex; but I enjoyed reading. Grocery shopping is a good pick-up location...especially on Sundays. 5 Stars to help offset ANONS.

Thanks for the feedback. A couple notes:

- The narrator did switch between past and present tense a lot. At one point I considered making it all consistent but then after paying attention to some people telling stories I realized many people do just that. It was an experiment, but try this yourself: listen to people you know tell stories. They do it a lot.

- Writing in a female POV was something I really want to work on. Two stories I released today are both in a woman’s voice.

- In this story one person notes the sex seems very male-oriented. I think maybe that’s because Donte was dictating all the action. She was definitely letting him drive the bus.

- I’ve never had a problem with receiving a standing BJ.

- I agree this story was short. It was a wisp of an idea I wanted to play with. The sex scenes were quick but somehow I think that’s how it would go between these two people. The longer Karen had to think about things the more likely I think she’d be to leave.

Thanks for reading and for commenting! My other story out today is The First Summer of My Summer (contest story) so keep an eye out.

Sorry but if she was happy she wouldn't cheat. Cheating is a symptom if a troubled marriage.

That's how it's done, don't like how others score a story you offset it by unrealistic scores. It's people like you that are the problem in this category. You take things way to personally. It's a fucking story, nothing else. It was not a five star story, you know it, every reader here knows it, but you got to play the game don't you? It's no wonder this category has gone into the sewer. 90% of the stories posted in loving wives are just plain garbage and people like you keep it that way.

As to story I gave it a realist score of three stars.

You wrote “most of us are hoping the white gets an STD or pregnant.” First off, you only speak for yourself. As the vast majority of readers of this category understand what it is about. Also, only a very small minded idiot would get upset over a fictional story and then come up with fantasy scenaiin their mind where harm comes to them. Seriously....seek help.

This would have been so much better had the focus of the story been more about the actual sex scenes you devoted three times as much space to the reasons why you would rather shop downtown than you did to the actual sex. Had the sex scenes lasted longer, I would have forgot all about the other. Not bad overall.

And the part I didn't like was her reasoning. Why would she risk everything for a one-off? You mention some of the questions. Why happens if she has caught some nasty disease and passes it along to her husband? What happens if she's pregnant? What happens when she realizes she'll never be satisfied, sexually, with her husband ever again? And the real kicker? What happens when her husband, who admittedly likes to look at her, sees that her pussy is all red and swollen that evening? He'll know immediately what's happened and their marriage is over. So she ruins her life, her husband's life and her kids life for a short bit of sex with a BBC. Stupid story. Poorly thought out, nothing original or clever and it sure as hell wasn't erotic or entertaining.

1 star

A fun little romp. Thanks for sharing.

. . . why she would risk everything for a one off? People do this all the time!

Adultery is almost always an irrational choice, but sex, period, is usually an irrational choice. Who decides, well, she looks like she would eventually be a good wife, so I think that I’ll try to copulate with her?

Sex is a wholly emotional, passion driven act. Rationality is usually involved in decisions not to have sex, but rarely in decisions to go for it.

I find it awful funny how you are chastising someone for giving an unrealistic score of 5 to a story, yet not once have I heard you complain about the countless anions and the trolls who constantly give out one star ratings simply because they do not care for a story's subject matter. The sole reason that Daylilygardener stated she gave the story a higher rating was to offset this type of behavior. So the fact that you called her out yet not the trolls leads me to believe you are one of them.

To be honest, these scores mean absolutely nothing as so many if the trolls bombard the stories while on the "new" story page. Then once they are out if site and small minds of the trolls, the scores tend get adjusted way higher by all the true readers who seek them out. The pathetic trolls are ruining Literotica for everyone. I foresee the time when most authors simply turn off voting and comments. Then how will these nimrods fill their miserable little lives if they can't spend all day posting such witty comments like "garbage 1*" or "cuck shit 1*" ?

Ok stroker for people who like to get off to DB sexing each other . Typical three star bathroom wall story.

It's just not worth the time it took to read it.

I like your writing style, you’re deserving of better scores. The lack of fanfare and honesty in your writing helps build a feel for the character.

The wife is a slut? The wife is not really a slut, but just succumbed to temptation? Martian Slut Ray?

So she really enjoyed it, it was easy to arrange, she shouldn't get caught, and the opportunity is always there to do it again. So why won't she do it again? So this time it was impetuous, but all the rest of the times she will officially be a cheating whore?

Cheating on your marriage is the act of a person who cheats. And people who cheat cheat about more than just sex, a lot more. It wasn't the opportunity or the temptation. Women have LOTS of opportunity and temptation. This woman is a stupid unethical person, or this story doesn't make sense. And stupid unethical people tend to have shitty lives over the long run.

Are you going to write about how shitty this woman make her life, her husband's life, her children's lives? At least that would be a compelling engaging dramatic story.

This was just an opening chapter for a story waiting for an author.

Nice punt.

I think what happens next is a question mark. Karen is obviously remorseful and probably a little confused about what happened. Did that one moment giving in to a primal urge open a new door? Or was it a dip into waters she didn’t feel comfortable in?

I could see her going back to Donte’s door (if she can get that far.)

But I can also see her tucking it away wherever we all tuck away regrets for the things we’ve done.

Maybe someday she’ll show up again, but maybe she won’t, and her next steps will remain a mystery.

Well written story ,very believable that it came from women's point of view.Not many avg men white or black could compete with a pro football player they are hunks.and most are probably well hung.

Enjoyed the story for what it was. Maybe the narrator could get a office 🏢 job with the team, if author wants to go next level. Thanks for sharing. I'm rating this at five stars in hope he will watch :Hard Knocks‘ the HBO reality show for potential story fodder.

Same old same old!

These stories sure get old. Put this trash in I.R. so the cucks and blacks that can read can read them. Don't post them here idiot!

According to my definition (yeah, I know ... BFDeal!) this is not LW. Just because she is married, and we actually hear from Hubby about The Bull’s (sports) skill is not enough. There is almost NO marital relationship consequence (just a little Sweetie remorse, which seems to have no effect on their marriage.) In other words, if the author writes Sweetie as a widow, the story is almost the same (only loses a little betrayal-spice.)

Otherwise OK. The seduction aspect is a very weak part. Also, penthouses usually do not have a ‘manned elevator.’ I really do wish authors would learn the difference between ‘discreet’ and ‘discrete!’ Homophones with substantially different meanings.

3*

I didn’t really consider putting this in Interracial because to me the focus of the story is her sudden seduction by someone relatively famous, someone extremely well-built. Someone who connected with her on a more primal level and someone who saw her as something she no longer even really saw herself as, all of which led to a snap decision to betray her marital vows. The race of her partner really doesn’t have much to do with the story at all.

I’d hate to think that any story about two people from differing races has to be relegated to one and only one category.

You were absolutely correct in putting it in the LW category. If the primary focus of the story is a wife having sex with others, no matter who they are, then it’s the perfect fit. It’s a shame that others have to pigeonhole everything and are afraid of things that don’t fit into their (forgive the pun) black and white view of the world. All it takes is to open your mind somewhat and the world has limitless possibilities. Thanks for the story.

I would hate to think that a happily married person could be seduced in a grocery store to ned in an hour bareback. Donte is probably STDs invested and now Karen is bareback with her faithful unknowing cuckhold husband comparing him to a player that used not loved her. Was it worth being found out and disruption of a home for the girls and the hurt of the innocent ?

Why is it that woman become whore pigs in an instant for athletes,movie stars , musicians etc.. I know of a handful who fuck athletes and could never understand the beautiful young white girl fucking some black guy who has girls in every city and is also married. The girls are always hot and fuck them because there famous. The black one especially are know to love the baby daddy title. These girls lose there self respect for a famous cock. A guy that was closer to this girl to talk to her was bragging about this super famous still current basketball player she was hooking up with. He said to her you don’t mind he’s this black married guy who has girls all over the country that he fucks . He said I bet all his teammates laugh at you the hot little Italian girl taking his black cock up her ass and she comes crawling every time he calls. He told her your no different from a street hooker and that you brag about him but as hot as you are none of the guys around here try to date you because your just a used up pig who loves famous black cock. It is also like the article about Jeter who was single and had no bad stories about him but a girl he picked up and fucked for the night said a few years later he picked her up again and gave her the same package for her walk of shame with signed stuff from him so obviously he didn’t remember her. Maybe it’s me but who want a girl that will fuck any cock just because. Maybe it’s a old way of thinking but if I met a girl and as we got more serious she told me she use to fuck some football players here and there I would just walk away from the relationship.

I think it’s interesting that we have no problem with men chasing hot women but if a woman falls for physical attractiveness then we deride her. To me the story is about lust and whatever causes it.

The races involved have virtually nothing to do with the story. Not sure why that would matter anyway.

Last is real. Biology is real. We can make moral judgments about breaking marital vows but that should cut both ways.

I really enjoyed the story. It definitely gives you some inspiration to workout hard at the gym. Basically get big muscles, chat up some attractive looking woman at the grocery store, and she's back at your place in less than 30 minutes having sex with you.

It might help if you’re famous ;)

I enjoyed the story, but found it very difficult to believe a woman in her late 30"s with kids, a good marriage, and satisfying sex life with her husband , and a wife who has never thought of cheating in all her years Would suddenly after just a 5 minute conversation with someone she never met before , would agree to go up to the guys place to have sex with him in such an incredibly short amount time of knowing the guy , even if she found him attractive. It would have been more believable if the wife was gradually seduced over some time by the NFL player. However, I could see a scenario where an unmarried young twenty something woman would have a quick fling with a football player after just a 5 minute conversation though.

Would be nice to have a chapter two were she sees him again and they have an affair. Somehow she is able to get him to meet her husband and they socialize together. Eventually she gets pregnant but does not know who the husband is. She has a black baby, hubby leaves Donte convinces him to move back. They share her after. Donte gets her pregnant a couple more times pays all the kids bills and med. bill but hubby is tasked with raising Donte’s spon while Donte fucks the wife.

I’m quite curious what he whispered to her at the checkout stand to make her go with him.

Whatever he said, it worked :)

Was her husband was going to make sure Donte kept her and her cheating ways.

Noe she is the team bike..

Donte smiled as he walked down the steps from Karen's apartment. He had gone back for a repeat sex session with the sexy , white, married women. His thoughts now turned to the first preseason game Saturday and the upcoming NFL season. Donte expected to start at cornerback this year and play well enough to get a big raise. His happy thoughts were interrupted by a terrible pain in his right knee. The knee collapsed and Donte found himself crying in pain in the ground. He looked up as Karen's husband raised the bat again. Donte knew his football career was over and maybe even his worthless life.

Upstairs, Karen smiled as she showered. She and Donte had gotten away with It again. Maybe they could make it a regular thing. Poor old clueless husband. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She was shocked as she opened the shower door and saw clueless standing there. Then she.noticed the blood stained clothes and the bloody bat raised over his head.

Above average sexy story.

BlueBalls.

Well written !

I am troubled by the idea a woman in a good marriage that is currently nurturing children could be so easily enticed to betray her husband and family. The football player no doubt was an impressive physical presence but he was neither charming nor particularly entertaining. Her personality and character have never before predisposed her to sudden bouts of promiscuity. She apparently had no medical illnesses that might give rise to sudden slut syndrome or a case of corneous cunt. Nonetheless, after a brief, bland discussion about an aromatic cheese, she made a mini spectacle of departing the checkout of an upscale grocery and walking directly to the nearby building in which he lived. Her brazen behavior essentially advertised her intended infidelity to all who saw her with the well known giant.

Unfortunately, achieving acceptance of her sudden decision to cuckold her husband does not resolve all of the questions that arose from her troubling behavior. She did not stop to consider STD's at all? She was fertile and on no form of birth control yet never thought to request he wear a condom? She cannot even be bothered to obtain a morning after pill to ensure she would not give birth to her lover's multiracial child? What had her husband done to in any way make her actions justifiable?

I.R. dumb ass!

Sorry, I hated it. I found it unrealistic and condescending, as well as racist. I hated everyone except the poor betrayed husband.

Na, just another bullshit story. But if you look at society today. You will see an increase in the stupid assed white girls who think its cool to go fuck a black guy. Well there is also another saying tnats a little different then the old bullshit. In the area where i live if you get caught dating a black guy, here you dont get to come back. You are labeled a black cock slut and the whites wont touch you. I got a dumbass sisterinlaw that married a black and her family doesnt have much to do with her. Blacks should stay with blacks and whites with whites. Mixing is fucked up.

cheating wife cucks loving husband with entitled, spoiled athlete. shows no shame or remorse. Husband needs to divorce loser wife asap. Not much of a story about two totally worthless people. No need to write more.

I don’t understand the interest in supporting cheaters? I suppose the authors of these stories must enjoy being second class men (or women).

I come to this site to enjoy thoughtful work (Van1 for example) not feminist drivel, or anti male. This site needs a BTB (burn the BITCH) section, aimed at the people who read the first few lines, see perversion coming and change story.

Something missing.

IMHO, the base of LW is not just a cheating wife. It is the changes the couple’s undergo due to Sweetie’s adventurous exploits.*

This opus belongs (so far) in Erotic Coupling.

* whether or not Hubby discovers her indiscretion(s)!

Can't imagine a husband so blind that he doesn't notice his wife's inflamed vaginal lips and promptly divorce the cheating slut. Badly done.

Same format as another author's story of a wife taking on a famous athlete but she sneaks out on her husband at a dinner. Regular readers will know the story. This one seem less likely to occur but then it is his story so if you think you can do better....do it.

Wife is a slut. Only a matter of time before sho goes out looking for more, now that the door has been opened. But where is the pathos, the fear of getting caught, the blowback... the emotion? it reads like a porn movie. Woman walks into room. She sees man. She drops to her knees and sucks his cock. He sucks her pussy. He fucks her cunt. She climbs on top and rides his cock with her ass. The camera pans to show her gaped ass-hole. He ejaculates (take your pick) on her face, on her tits, on her ass, she puts out her tongue and licks the last few drips off his cock. She puts out her tongue to show his come on it... Credits roll