All Comments on 'Father & Daughter - Find True Love'

Sadly, no talk of her getting pregnant by her dad. Maybe in a sequel?

The story concept was good...but the constant perspective shift, inconsistent tense, bad grammar, incorrect word choice, and confusing narrative destroyed what would otherwise have been a great and enjoyable read.

A harmless overly idealizedFk story...dad seems to have plenty of vacation days.

The amount of touching and kissing early in the story seems excessive for an innocent father-daughter relationship. I like it when the daughter seduces her straight laced dad rather than any appearance that he's seducing her.

In the 11th paragraph from the end it should be "Their bodies.." not " There".

Words are a writer's tools...use them correctly.

It's bad enough when people switch from one character's 1st person POV to 3rd, but you somehow managed to randomly throw in both character's 1st person view.

To all of my critics above and to follow. I am new here and your input is considered very helpful. I realize with this story I took a gamble by trying to let the characters speak for themselves. I wanted to reader to hear Elizabeth's own words has she felt her Father inside of her, and I wanted Steven to be able to express himself as he made love to his Daughter.

That being said, I agree with your comments it is very confusing to the reader when I jumped back and forth. I had tried to create visual breaks, but they somehow got taken out of my presented final draft.

I will simplify my future writings as noted.

Thank you

Steven and Elizabeth from "Father and Daughter - Find True Love" or Jordan and Kelsi from "Kelsi's Adventures"?

And what would Steven and Elizabeth be thinking of Jordan and Kelsi as individual characters?

I wish I had that many vacation days with my daughter.

She too was confused by the sudden change in point of view.

Perhaps if you could set them off with a phrase or visually like you did with the row of asterisks.

We enjoyed reading it.

Very well written

I love your stories, a bit too flowery at times and the sex needs more sex, longer sessions, the next time. I love daddy taking loving his daughter, please Chapter's 2 and on, Please Daddy please please

You need a good editor!

Why change p.o.v., stay with the one character narating the story... That being said... It was a great story..