All Comments on 'February Sucks - Alternate'

That's the way to do it. The original RAAC concept simply went on and on. By the end, I wanted out of the relationship. This puts the priority where it belongs.

Liked it. I still think she got off lightly but at least we have a man in this version.

I agree with you 100%

I have a new favorite in my author list. Hope to hear more!

Pretty good job for a first timer greenway. Hell, it’s a pretty good job by anyone. I enjoyed your take on the story and hope you’ll post again soon.

The bartender knowing Marc's address would be a long shot. Threatening a guy that much taller and that much heavier might work back in high school, but as a pro athlete he would have kicked hubby's ass. And then the homerun of knocking her up that night kinda put your trifecta of unbelievable to bed. Not badly written for a first time effort, but it was both improbable and unbelievable.

3.5 stars

Liked this one the best so far. Maybe there will be others? Who knows. No wimps here. Had a good laugh over the "Hulk out" quote. Haven't heard that in years. Thanks for putting this one out.

ok but how far did they go before he got there?

It's hard to believe Anybody could actually dare to try and published something this bad and this all awful. Throwing a golf ball at the window?

That's it? Bringing the cunt whore wife Back to the bar to finish the dance? How exactly does that help a husband reclaim his respect and he perceives to be his Masculinity?

A new low in stupid

I like this far more than the original

First, after he gets Marc's home address why does he go back to the table and have a conversation with the friends? You'd think time would be of the essence at that point!

Second, while this story will keep a lot more readers happy on LW and likely get a higher score, it doesn't do the original justice. The original one was impactful. It made me uncomfortable, upset, annoyed, etc. It also made me think about the concept yes, it's one night out of a possible 30 or 40 year marriage, and he says she has been a great wife and mother for 13 years. Then should one night negate all that? Logically, it doesn't make sense. But ever instinct in me was telling me there is no way I would put up with it, even though logically my wife should allow me a rare opportunity like that, and I should allow her.

That's what great writing or art should do. It should be impactful, and it should make us think and question our beliefs. The original did both. This one did neither and it was comical; both figuratively and literally (Hulk & beating up 6 bigger athletic guys- surprised the author didn't have the MC knock on the second floor window with his 20 foot dick while he was at it).

This isn't to say that if this was real life the MC shouldn't have done everything to stop his wife from going through with it. Just that that wouldn't have been an impactful and thought provoking story.

A good take on the story. Just to be a S.O.B he could of DNA tested the kid/kids to prove the damage she had done.

An interesting take on this idea, with Linda not actually cheating, but almost.

...some respect regained and will (almost) delight us cuck haters. If that was your first story it was pretty good although a good writer to follow obviously helped. I'll look for more of your work. Thanks for your efforts. I suspect there could be a few more alternate endings to this story covering all extremes.

Much better

I like your ending much better

To her dalliance with Asshole,as well as their eight friends that supported the A'hole.

+1 for your first story, it's not easy doing that and diving into LW is harder still.

-1 because I think this story has been done to death so far.

-1 because it's still unrealistic

1) for a wife so devoted to crumble so easily is unlikely I think.

2) the altercation with Dee and Dave is not realistic at all. I don't care, if you shove my wife against a wall and I've walked up behind you, you're getting your knees kicked out if you are a friend. Granted if it were Dee, chances are we wouldn't be married much longer with her attitude. I don't think any of the men would be supportive of what Linda or Dee did.

2) Everything about getting to Marc and getting Linda back is implausible. Not sure why Jim would assume that they had his address (unless we are talking covid restrictions... but then that's a whole different ballgame) and the staff giving it out would be sacked (CCTV inside the club) as it would ruin the club's reputation. Arriving at Marc's he would be met with high walls and secure gates. Having damaged Marc's property, Jim would find himself arrested very soon after. That is if the testosterone didn't boil over and Marc unleash his guard dogs or body guard on Jim, or just beat him where he stood. Brass knuckles only work if the aren't blocked (which makes the hulk out story come over as contrived, 5 people all attacking at once would soon overwhelm him) and does he regularly carry them with him? If he did he would be spending his time in jail pretty soon.

3) I can't imagine anything but Jim and Linda arguing for the rest of the night. The disrespect, the attempt to cheat (if she hadn't done anything in the house... not even kissing?), humiliating him by just dancing with Marc when she had already turned Dave down. Though, that would have been enough for an argument before she went to the toilet.

-1 for the epilogue - if she had gone though with her night with Marc, the baby girl would have been his, not Jim's. She could easily be the reminder of the night Linda tried to shit all over him. Perhaps good for Linda, but probably not for Jim.

Nice try, nothing glaring jumped out grammar-wise and nothing triggered my inner proof-reader. Trouble is you were building your house on sand, GA's original is the turd that can't be polished. If you get your own idea and build your own characters, in your own universe, you could do okay.

Finally, a guy who does what he should. Although there should have been a little pain for her for a while. Still not enough pain for the football player. There needs to be some physical pain for him. A season or career ending ending injury

Five fucking stars for fixing this POS.

Well . . . .The BTB crowd will like this much

Even though it was pretty unrealistic all around and brings nothing new to this section of Literotica. And honestly, this type of writing is boring as hell.

I get the idea of showing the folks in the bar that you got your wife back HOPEFULLY before anything happened. They may not know and may also assume your wimp as just picked up your well used wife and you are now OK with it.

I would have probably dropped her off at the Hotel room but instead of sex told her to stay here as you are not welcome home. I will pick up up in the morning AFTER I tell our folks about the divorce.

Maybe she didn't do anything with marc (make out? Blowjob in car?) but with that intent and disrespect I could never trust and basically he is finding out her true self now. Took many years but it came out.

Lastly, in the prior stories, how did Dee know the "signal" to cover? I think this author saying there was a bathroom conversation over heard was a great ides.

...for fixing a crappy STORY. Thanks for giving hubby his balls back!

A much better ending than the original or HDK's cuckie versions.

The bartender knowing where Marc lived was a bit of stretch, but he was a local celebrity so I suppose it's possible. A comment below said Marc would have bodyguards, but personal security teams are ridiculously expensive. The husband getting access to the property would be tricky though, as at a bare minimum, a place like that would have security gates on the drive.

Lobbing a rock through the window was an amusing way of getting their attention. I can see the big football player backing down from an enraged husband, especially one that threatened to give him a career-ending injury. There's no way Marc would risk that over some barroom skank there for a one night stand.

I get what you were trying to do with the husband returning to the bar with Linda. Bringing her back immediately would end all the rumours about him letting her cuckold him... but she still left with Marc in the first place. Linda would need to turn into a Stepford wife to atone for humiliating him like that and eagerly running off to break her wedding vows.

I liked him ghosting their friends though. After they all supported Linda's attempted infidelity, they proved what shit friends they were. Getting Marc transferred was a nice bit of revenge.

5* because you gave the husband some balls!

The original turned my stomach. (And also put GA on my do not read list)

Thanks for fixing it. This was plausible and satisfying. I am a divorce the cheater kind of guy. But this works.

Thanks again.

I guess if a girl can break out a window from 25 yards away, you figured a guy could, too.

A lot of people didn’t like Mr Anderson’s original, and I thought his 8 pages about 3 pages too long, but he held his readers’ attention because he’s a good writer; just changing the ending doesn’t really make it a good story.

This story still never dealt with the obvious point: while her husband interceded before Marc actually fucked Linda, she was still planning on fucking him, still wanted to fuck him. She had already agreed to cheat, and John just got in the way. Does that really make it better?

This alternate ending wasn’t about love at all. Rather it was about John’s pride, about him showing everyone in the club, especially his friends, that he’d recaptured Linda.

And Marc was traded to Cleveland? Well, if he had been playing for the Cincinnati Bungles, it’s still an upgrade.

This is unrealistic in the mechanics of how it was done, but more realistic in the attitude of the husband

Pittsburgh still loves Ben Roethlisberger despite him having the money to make a couple of rape allegations go away. The fans cared about only one thing; his ability to win football games.

Kobe Bryant made a rape allegation go away with money, too, and the fans didn’t care, because he was a great player. He just lost his endorsement deals. When he was killed, everybody feted him. His Black Life Mattered far more than the ass of the white girl he ass raped.

This ending makes sense - I still can't get my arms around how what was supposed to be a special night between the couple went sideways in an instant, but the original author owns that plot mistake. Only thing I would have done was expand on their conversation after he reclaimed her. 5* for lowering my blood pressure!

The second she leaves him and sneaks out of the bar and goes home with “ The asshole”..... It’s just too late.... Divorce..!!

There’s no way back from that...!

Better than the last two versions IMO

So much better than the HDK attempt. Well done.

this version sucks big time

I gave you five stars it was worth it. But can someone answer me a question.Why do you always have at least one commenter who complains it's not realistic? Duh it's fiction. Let me go out to the barn to go feed my manticore, oh but I can't because it's not realistic, whoops another case of a fiction. Yeah yeah yeah I'm being a little bitch. But the story was good.

a guy who takes action RIGHT NOW, not waiting for months thinking about it.

That's the way it should have been in the first place !!!!

I gave you a 5 for a good first story even if it was a retread. there were a couple points that I did not like. The hulking out thing was a little contrived. Pls he should have talked with Dee in front of her husband. All the men supporting Linda also bothered me. I could see one or two of them saying, "Damn man I can see her point for going with Marc but it really sucks." Also at Mar's house I am sure he would not have got close enough to throw a rock, but a disturbance in front of the house would have the cops and probably TV reporters show up.

I would check the DNA of the child just in case & to hammer the point home to the Mrs. we don't know for sure nothing happened, there was time. I'm not sure I'd have slept with her so soon afterward. "Major brain fart" isn't much of an apology, nor is it a sign she wouldn't do it again. At least he took charge!

The first one pissed me off. This one didn’t do much better. She still left with and intended to fuck the asshole if he hadn’t interrupted the eminent fuckfest. Separation and maybe divorce was what she needed. A real wake up call and beg to let her back in his life.

Good first effort. I liked him taking action, if nothing else. He presumably stopped the sex, which made me think of "it's just sex" and in this case, the sex was prevented. But it's never just the sex, correct? It's the brutal surprise and shock, the disrespect, the lasting mental images and memories, the uncertain future, etc., that are far worse, long-term, than the sex. So, with that in mind, I think this version needed more dialogue b/t hubby and wife, after her rescue from herself. He needed to tell her that if he hadn't taken action in time, they'd be getting divorced, and why. She needed to say more than her couple-sentence mea culpa. The original's prologue spoke to women who thought this behavior was acceptable, and men who said no F'ing way, but no one yet has fully addressed that huge difference. This version is the first to say it's not acceptable, but left too much unsaid. To those that say "it's one day in a 13,000 day marriage" I would counter that Pearl Harbor was one day in our 89,464 days old Navy. A betrayal of this sort would be a day of infamy in a marriage, long after the bombs stopped, and would be terribly hard to put aside.

Good story based off of the original. Nice first story and I hope you continue to write.

Stretches the imagination; much more likely that no one would give up Marc’s address. And then he just shrugs off the fact that she was inside his house with him. I understand that this is fiction, but .... this is no more likely than the original was. Neither result is close to how most men I know would have reacted. Seriously, though, I can’t write like this so I shouldn’t complain too much. ;)

Thanks for posting. I hope you write more stories. The problem is that this is a version for the simple-minded. There is a huge issue here that was not addressed in this version, and was in the first two.

The issue is not so much, in George's story, that she had this great sex, though that is a huge issue, but that she decided to do it. HDK addressed it with her public shame and humiliation. George addressed it, though in a way I did not admire, by the husband experiencing the same bedazzlement the wife experienced. It was not addressed here, at all. Throw a rock and "hulk up." Problem solved. Not for me. Her deciding banging football dude was okay is the problem.

I happen to know Hooked1957 has one in the pipes that also address the issue, in a way that is satisfactory to me. I'll wait for that one. Thanks again for writing, Randi.

I agree with hotpussie. What a load of crap. The least the husband could have served her with divorce papers and kicked the crap out of the jock. What a pussy.

Stupid. You really think you can put a major sport's star's name in your car's computer and it'll pop out his address? Why would he want to re-claim her anyway. She goes off with someone else, she'd be his problem, not mine anymore. The whole thing was pounding the chest like, childish.

When he confronted Dee and Dave came over, Jim should have said, "Then you won't mind if I take Dee up to my hotel room. It's only one night, right?"

@Anonymous Re: "A somewhat better ending than the original" - He wouldn't have kicked hubby's ass. There would have been a big lawsuit, plus league discipline.

The problem with dumping her is the kids.

@Anonymous Re: "+1 for first story" - I agree. When she first started to go to dance with Marc, he should have stood up, grabbed her, and said, "What about saving all of your dances for me?"

My problem with the original set-up is the "Celebrity Slut Ray." I simply don't believe that a true loving wife (which I believe that Linda is/was) would abandon her husband (on a "special night" no less!) just because some random celebrity asked her to. This wasn't one of those "Celebrity Hall Passes" where BEFORE it happens, permission is given that "If you have the opportunity to sleep with "X" you can go for it." Also, I don't think one of those would be given for a local celebrity, it would probably be given for a celebrity where it was unlikely they would ever meet.

He beat up five guys who each out weighed him just because of brass knuckles? Maybe in his dreams if they were stupid enough to take him on one at a time. Then he decides to take on a pro football player that big one on one. Do any of you macho guys know what type of quickness and athleticism it takes to accomplish that? The first story was good, and however unlikely, possible. This version is not.

I would like it if he would have made her stu in her stupid a little bit longer

would have been better if after he reclaimed the footballer came after him at the bar and he then preceded to kick the shit out of the footballer and teach him not to screw around with married women

a good alternative outcome. I think a Linda version of this story is warranted. Her version was touched upon in the original but it needs a deeper look

5 stars

Much better than the original or Harddaysknight's failed attempt.

Standing up for himself is good, but does he really want her back? I can see reclaiming her, but I can also see leaving her at the table with her idiot friends and divorcing her. Her behavior is a major marriage breaker whether she had time to complete her betrayal or not.

She went and didn’t leave Mr. Football on her own. I love reconciliations, but I think I’d still leave her.

The bitter taste the original left in my mind still exist. Not sure what follow up story can take that taste out of my mind, this wasn't it. Thanks for trying.

This is an entirely different story than the original. It is short and really does not develop any story line, and is entirely missing the characters of the original.

It shares the improbable deficiency of the original in positing that all 4 other couples supported Linda's adultery. How could everyone else at the table have known what Linda and Marc were up to? Worse, how could all the husbands have supported a wife's adultery? The whole concept is asinine.

In this remake, the author adds another stupidity that the bartender knew off the top of his head Marc's home address, and then would surrender for a mere $50. Ridiculous concept.

Finally, there is nothing to explain why the husband would have taken Linda back, and no real explanation of Linda's conduct. She had already cheated even if she had yet fucked, because she was there in his house in his bedroom.

All in all a very shitty story that is less than the original.

Complete and blatant disrespect, and an utter disregard for his feelings allowed her to leave the bar without him.

She should have returned to a empty house and destroyed marriage. Sorry, but when she kissed him and he allowed it, knowing where her mouth had just been...gross.

Loved it. Would like to see more like this instead of all the cuck shit on here all the time.

Liked this telling best of all.

After several dances with her, I’d follow her to the restroom, stripped her naked and dragged her (by the hair if necessary) through the bar, then thrown her clothes in the car and left her naked in the parking lot. I’d also tell her “don’t come home for a week. By that time the divorce papers should be ready, the kids and I would be living safely in another country, I might have even sent her a ticket to Cleveland.

Nice try but this still doesn't work - as soon as she leaves with Marc this marriage is over. I don't get why everyone doesn't understand that... The logic here is that it's a once in a lifetime event. OK wouldn't the opportunity to be fucked by Marc's entire team also be a once in a life time experience for her? Would anyone take her back if she pulled a train for the whole team?

Most men would have said something right away when he came up and asked their wife to dance when they were sitting there. That shit would have gotten stopped before they hit the dance floor.

This story is foolish. It makes him look angry, but very wimpish. To him, it seems, as long as he got her back unfucked, all becomes well again. This incident says she can't be trusted to be faithful; and now she might try the tryst on the sly. It's time to dump the bitch.

Still should have dumped her

I’m sure you think so. My condolences to your SO.

this one is much, much better. But that's in comparison to a total piece of crap story, so don't let it go to your head.

If ever there was a story that begged for divorce, if not BTB, this was it. Let's look at it objectively. This slut

* was not angry at her husband,

* was not 10,000 miles from home and lonely,

* walks away from her husband during what was supposed to be a very special occasion, not just an some afternoon fling while he's at work,

* publicly humiliates him, rather than sneaking around on her own time,

* sneaks out, aided and abetted by another cheating slut, rather than confronting her husband,

* for an athlete she doesn't really know, so she can't claim he was her first love or some such excuse form the cheater's handbook,

If there's a better example of a filthy, cheating, worthless slut, I'm hard pressed to come up with one. Given the circumstances of her betrayal, how would he EVER trust her again ? That she didn't compete the deed is largely irrelevant.

Once I put the ring on, my wife no longer had to "fight for" me. And I don't have to "fight for" her. That's what marriage vows are for.

@greenday0418 Grats on your 1st story, but it was a crap story to piggy back on. Technically it was not too bad, there were a few typos that could have been caught with a read through. A lot does not fit well together and there are some things that just break the suspension of disbelief.

Overall, apart from it being a bad story to try and tidy up, this was too short and felt rushed. Another page expanding the characters a bit more may have helped. A bit more time thinking about the internal logic would have helped. But I honestly think the original was beyond repair.

Don't give up, but build your own universe(s).

@Vinastoda your manticore is fine if it is in your universe. But it would be unrealistic that, if you kept one as a pet, you would NOT feed it, because you are human (I assume :D) and decent humans are compassionate to their pets and try to look after them well.

That's what I would mean by being unrealistic.

While it is fiction, the author has decided to set it in the real world and thus unreal actions and reactions don't make sense. If he had made Linda an elf, maybe they have a proclivity for sports stars and get hypnotised by them. But he made Linda and them all human and thus limited by human emotions and actions and the internal logic must work around that.

Like you saying your manticore had the head of a rhino or the tail of a stegosaurus. That isn't a manticore and thus it is unrealistic.

Do you watch Star Trek? Stuff about that bothers me for being unrealistic.

Warp drive and transporters? No, because they are fact in the Star Trek universe.

What is unrealistic is all the women falling for Kirk and rarely any of the other main characters, red shirts being the only ones to die, Kirk always using drop kicks and having his shirt torn in one of 3 places during fights. These are things that cross over with real life. The captain, 1st officer, chief engineer and lead Dr would not all go on away missions, because it would not be only red shirts that are at risk.

Women would be attracted to many crew and the captain of all people should try to rise above it, especially for other crew.

Drop kicks in fights would leave him on the floor and vulnerable.

Another author wrote about an alien recently. The unrealistic thing about that story was not him meeting the alien, but feeling guilty about not telling his wife about meeting with her after he had caught her cheating on him.

Different people will also have different triggers, I saw one comment about the time and distance in that story and if I had got that far that would have bugged me too.

To start with, it does not make sense for Linda to do what she did in the first place, she goes from Mary Sue to slut in the space of 4 dances and in none of the stories has there been a satisfactory explanation. Let's move past that as "Marc asked her to dance and she said no" either makes for a short story or if it follows Jim and Linda back to the hotel with her turned on by being asked, finally realising the Jim was not just saying she was the most beautiful woman in the room. They fucked like bunnies and the story was put in Erotic Couplings.

Someone pinning my wife aggressively against the wall is getting kidney punched, friend or foe. Maybe that's why Dee felt she could cheat on Dave. If Dave had shoved Jim aside, that would have worked.

I played rugby through my teens and early 20s and I challenge any one single person of a similar age to take on any 5 of us even with knuckles, hell they can even have a baseball bat, and not get their arse handed to them, probably in several pieces. Someone 20lbs lighter? That's just ridiculous. We were a team and had each others backs on the pitch week after week, that brings you close as friends. A sneak attack taking one out would have really pissed us off and just tightened our determination to give the attacker hell.

This section dragged me out of the story as unrealistic, but there are other parts that don't add up and could have pulled others out.

The others got up and conspired to give Linda the room to get away, the original was bad enough, but this said that everyone knew what was going on (except Jim), so they must have prior knowledge.

Was it that Marc drank there and regularly took a wife home and they worked out their plan in advance, if so, this makes all the other husbands happy for their wife to go with him as they were helping Linda, surely it must have been "if he picks one of us..." making them all cucks and explaining why they supported Linda later.

If not then, someone had preplanned for Marc to pick Linda so how can there be any reconciliation from either of these.

It was more realistic that Dee's attitude is thrown in Dave's face straight away, but unrealistic it should upset Dave as he was part of the set up.

It bugged me in all 3 that Jim pulled out a 20... in that mood I can't imagine it being anything less than "Fuck the lot of you," and walking out.

It does not make sense that the bar would have Marc's address let alone give it out. Maybe it was a member's club, even then the bar staff would not have access to the info and the front office would not give it out. Even a threat of suing (which I saw in one story) would be laughed at, "control your own wife, mate." It could well have been easy to find on Google, being the famous sports star he was supposed to be.

It does not make sense that he hangs around arguing once he has the address. Marc already had 15 minutes head start before Jim went to check. 5 mins checking? 5 more arguing with Dee? a few getting the address? 5 arguing with the friends, another 5 walking (not running) to get his car, then the 15 min drive. They both had the same drive, so this is about 1/2 hour head start Marc has.

It does not make sense that a big sports star would not have better security around his house. Going from that, if Jim did get onto the driveway, he most likely would have had Jim on CCTV cutting his valve and smashing his window. So while it would not have been worth beating Jim, he would have been arrested.

It does not make sense that, given how much head start Marc and Linda had, that they had not been at least eating each other's faces, let alone gone further perhaps even in the drive over. In the original they danced and kissed at first, then he carries her upstairs and strips her... she was already upstairs, so they didn't dance long.

It does not make sense that Jim would not at least have a major barney that night if not end up kicking her to the curb. After all he did threaten to kill them both... after that, it's totally unrealistic that they go to the club, dance and then have sex after.

She promised the night to him and turned down dances with others to the extent Dave commented on it, that would have been enough to blow the evening apart in some cases... but I get once in a lifetime to dance with someone famous...perhaps, but still there would be a row.

It does not make sense he would take her word for it that she had not just thrown her clothes back on. After all they were upstairs and had 1/2 hour on him. This is where the others did better with STI and pregnancy tests. As she is pregnant is only seems logical that a paternity test is ordered and if necessary a court ordered one for Marc.

I was getting ready to dismiss this story as just another emotionally underdeveloped reader who can't separate fiction from their own miserable lives, re-writing an author's story to suit themselves. But you know it was good. It was a very creative response to the "celebrity hall pass" topic.

That being said, from my personal point of view, as I commented before to George Anderson's original, I still don't see a reconciliation for this couple. (and I normally like to see reconciliations, just a hopeless romantic I guess). It was just too cold blooded a betrayal to ever get past.

I also liked the fact that Dave and Dee ended up divorced (might be a whole other story on that one). In a way her betrayal might have even been worse than Linda's. Again, if I was Dave and found out what she had done, I'm pretty sure that marriage would have been over too.

I checked the writer's bio and it was his first story. I hope he writes more.

The story and its comments epitomize the dilemma facing LW authors. The original story was dramatic, almost believable, generally well-written, well-edited and long. HDK tried to shorten it which for some may have been a slight improvement, and retained the drama in the pieces that he added. This latest contribution has believable drama only in the bits borrowed from the original author and is not well-written BUT it has the (now almost cardboard) hero doing manly dumb things with the quite absurd outcome which many readers love. So much for quality writing in LW; readers get what they deserve!

if you have to put an end to it and your spouse has already snuck out then you aren't respected. It's ASSUMED that you will cave. It isn't an informed decision. The decision is based upon a sense that the betrayer has power in the relationship greater than the betrayed. This marriage might be saved but this reclaiming thing here, that doesn't address any of the underlying issues. This is just male posturing and nothing more. Hulk out? Please. No one respected him at all, a little aggression won't change that. The wife behaved horribly and her friends backed her up.

They might get through it with counseling but the entire dynamics of their relationship need to change. This is a cheap dollar store bandaid with weak adhesive. Nothing more

but I still would have divorced her ass

Would never happen this way, besides this is not what the original author wrote. In this one hubby gets to her first. In the original he doesn’t and that’s the point, what happens after the deed is done. What happens then.

If I was to write an ending to the original it would definitely end in divorce naming Marc as the other man, lawsuits, destroying the guys rep. and physically getting back at his so called friends. Eventually, maybe hubby might start dating his ex after a while apart providing she was contrite and willing to go to counseling. I don’t consider a one time event a reason to end a relationship permanently providing there was a willing to try again by both parties. Divorce in this case would be necessary as in the original story the wife somewhat rubbed it in his face and disrespected him by saying she was not sorry for doing it as it was the best sex she ever had, just sorry for the fallout.

I liked this ending much better. All I would add would be a tire tool in his hand when the pro football dickhead came out. It is hard to catch a football with broken hand and arms. Then like others have mentioned a DNA test on all the children. I agree with others why go back to the bar there is nobody there whose opinion matters to him at that point. Regardless I gave it 5 stars because I was able to read it without the taste of bile in my mouth.

Of course, there could be many variations. One thing is clear, GA has a thing for weak men and child-like women. Perhaps that's his life.

I liked this version better than others but the wife still cheated. She may have her clothes on still but she may have also given Marc a BJ. The main point is she disrespected him and tried to sneak off and get strange. I would have changed the locks and thrown her stuff on the front lawn. Then started the divorce.

look at least the writer gave him balls to go after the football star. not to many men would do that. id still have a big problem reconciling here. forget having any sex till some serious counseling was done, those were not friends they were doucebags .id drop them and why even parade you're newborn by them. both endings sucked.

Adds nothing to the no-great-shakes original and is even less emotionally satisfying given the utter wimpiness of the husband and the complete absence of any consequences for the wife and their alleged friends. 2 stars.

OK, so the resolution of the story was that these are the only people any of us have ever encountered, in any situation, who'll just randomly lose the ability to process the emotional and intellectual significance of the memories of a few particular days of their lives, which will solve all of their issues?

My GOD, the authors on this site are so sad and pathetic. There isn't a single person on this planet that would act like any of the people in this story. Not one. So, where in greenday0418 sad mind does this garbage come from? It's not erotic when it is so silly? The wife's behavior just borders on mental issues, the seducer doesn't know what a gun is? the friends all are morally bankrupt and pretend they have never heard of infidelity, jealously or divorce, the husband continues to keep a wife who basically stabbed him in the back and did the single most disgusting hurtful thing any spouse could do. Yeah, it all seems normal, and might happen right? Now, wives are seduced every day, maybe as an author you can invest 20 minutes and create a plot that doesn't come across like a comedy. Purple moons that cows jump over does not create an EROTIC story.

The one he'll have to pay for the rest of their marriage. Yeah, expensive. Brain fart. Riiiiight. What planet was this on?

While it was better than the other two, I found it unsatisfying that the wife suffered no consequences at all for totally humiliating her husband the way she did.

5* Huge improvement to this plot!!! Strong manly reaction results in his marriage being saved. No wimpy cucky puking crying crap.

Even better:

I saw the NFL shitbag walking to our table.

I slip my brass knuckles on my left hand and slipped my dinner knife into my right. As shitbag reaches over to grab wife's hand, I poked knife into shitbag's crotch and said,

"Get the fuck out of here or I'll carve a vagina into you."

After dancing a few songs, I led my wife by the arm back to the table. I pretended to stumble, and I 'accidently shoved a bunch of drinks onto that evil bitch Dee. The bitch started cussing up a storm. Dave gave a smirk as we left.

When we got back to the hotel. I ravished my wife, thereby reinforcing my claim to her. She responded like a sexstarved slut. We never had a problem again.

Wow! Big surprise—at least for some who read and commented—a Loving wives story has a cheating wife character. Imagine that! After eighty years people never cease to amaze me.

Writer, I found this to be as satisfying an ending as the original. I vote 5 stars. cd

And more realistic. I keep and old fungo bat in my car for speial occasions. This would of been top of the list. 5 nice work and de wimpified.

And in the end the fucker is still a cuck, he shoulda gone to her parents house rousted them out of bed, and dumped them on Marc's porch before throwing rocks thru the window

Better but, the relationship was over.

She cheated, even if he stopped the physical part. She abandoned her husband, in public and in a very degrading way in front of friends.

She cared nothing about her children either or what the consequences would be for them.

She paid no price.

No sane man would stay with her.

So the story has possibilities but still isnt enough. Maybe add a chapter dealing with him leaving her, etc

or, she was drugged and husband arrived at the house and rescued her.

Otherwise, story just isnt right.

Far superior to the original and the other attempts. Stopped it from going on in the first place. She still has along way to go to show she'll never stray again, but he took steps and acted like a real person might. 5*s

You almost got it right. Take her back to the bar and parade her around? Sure, why not? At least it proves you did something. Then take her back to assholes place and dump her onto the driveway. Go home pack your shit and leave, of course she’ll kill you in the divorce, but you’ll still have your balls.

I liked that he stole his wife back from the celebrity.

Two things would have made this better. The celebrity meeting "hoodlums" at night with a ton of damage to his face and genitals. Divorce the cheating bitch, scorched earth.

An interesting take but the problem is that Linda never really pays, not do the friends outside Dee try to make it up to him. Honestly,would a guy like Mike condone Linda going off like that to cheat? Men who have been cheated on generally have zero tolerance. And would Dave,hearing Dee say she would go.off w the football player like that, be like hah hah,or would he be pissed? The other thing is any of the husbands,hearing their wife condoning cheating,would have to wonder about them and would not be trying to protect Linda. And of course Jim could have said to then ' so if your wife went off with jocko,you would be fine with it? If I told you your wife lived you,would you smile and say 'I know'?

Look, there are stories set in fantasy universes but this one isn't in the Justice O Peace universe. Okay so he gets her from scumball, but she gets off with 'gee,I had a brain fart' when she premeditated her escape, knowing it would kill him? If Linda had been someplace,gotten drunk and cheated it was circumstance;but this was cold blooded,she got the hots for the guy, and used See as cover to go....I could see him taking her back to the restaurant to show her off (and maybe humiliate her a little), I could sort of see him fucking her raw, but then he needed to reinforce consequences,bc she basically did cheat,she thought nothing of him,had no guilt,no qualms,she acts like she has left the jock,couldn't go through with it....more realistically he would reclaim her,then would pack bags and go stay someplace, and send her divorce papers,even if he didn't plan on divorcing,she needed to feel that pain, he also should in the process tell her she was free to sleep with the jock.bc he planned on his own fun and that there were plenty of women he was intrigued by.....the reason is she feels like she was okay, she never really repents or acknowledged the pain to him...reconciliation could only come when she fixed the broken place.

As far as revenge goes,he could do damage to the other couples,send poison pen emails to.the hubbys that their wives later on hooked up w the jock, cause them grief,too. The this ending has none of the pain inflicted on Linda in the other tales,it was like putting a band aid on a deep wound.

this ending was a tad over the top with him going back to the bar to dance with her. I still gave you 5*s which was higher than the other two versions because at least he did something and didn't take it like a cuck. still felt she need some kind of punishment.

First of all I had my issues with GA's original story and said so. But as far as this version goes I don't think it's as well written as the original but in some respects it's much more satisfying. Traded to Cleveland? He'd be a good fit in Dallas too. Sweet Jesus, thanks for not sending him to Detroit, you get points for that. Lastly it took a serious set of balls to take on an alternate version to an established Author of a LW story, especially as a new Author, so you get big points for doing that too. Signed: BTW

I'll stick with George.

Loved your take on it. I get tired of the husbands who slink home and crawl into the bottle.

That said, you've removed the entire heart of GA's excellent story, the turmoil felt by the main characters and the emotional arcs that they took, and replaced it with some shallow macho-ness.

No doubt it'll appeal better than the original to a sector of readers here, but there isn't much about your characters or the story that I find interesting.

Keep writing, though!

And one up your butt.

He is an even bigger loser now.

Bad show

My husband loves to let me dance with others. He stopped letting me dance after I let a guy ding duck me on the dance floor

What should have happened. The other two versions were well written, but once it got to the next day, the marriage had to be over. No one could reconcile by the next day. I would still dump her in this story, but it’s more believable this way. Thank you

Great alternate! 5 stars.

it's still far better than the original, which was Alpo on a cracker pretending to be a canape'. I loved the payback to Marc...he got traded to Cleveland ;-) I think the author should get credit for the "in your face" move of taking Linda back to the club.

GA's plots rely on women being idiots and their husbands being weak and feminized.

His friends stole his wife from under him. BEHIND HIS BACK.

He did not have a chance to really object. But he confronted the 'alpha'.

He broke the man's window, slashed his tire stem, and dared the man to fight him.

The 'alpha' backed off, which proved how weak he really was. Husband took his woman back. I say woman, because she lost all rights to call herself a Lady or a Wife. She's still human though. He made a POINT. He took her back to that dance, and showed everyone he was alpha enough to TAKE HER from some rich pretty boy.

Every woman got wet from that display of raw power. He has a sad and pathetic woman now, and he pretends to love her enough...just enough to have her glued to his hip. NO ONE said he still loves her though. No where in here did it say he remained faithful to this woman. All we the reader are told is he TOOK HER BACK.

Yes, he shouldn't have to win her back. Yes, his wife disrespected him and deserved divorce. Yes, he may be happier without her. But all we know is that he's the alpha, and the 'alpha' became a joke.

Now his wife will, out of fear of rejection, try to please him and stay faithful. And she will also get wet knowing he was the alpha to a much younger star athlete. Trust me on that one. And... AND...he no longer has to love her blindly. She's already shown complete disregard for him. The healthy thing to do, is to love her less from now on...to match her levels of love and commitment. Is it ideal? No. But is it better than many alternatives? Yup! And he'll probably bang younger women on the side, he no longer owes her fidelity, the truth, or unconditional love.

1. He wasn't going to give her up, for his kids well being. He needed a baby sitter at least.

2. Once he got her back he wanted to let everyone at the bar to know, you don't miss with Jim.

3. He took control of his marriage completely and it only takes 1 time without a rubber, trust me I know.

4. Dee was really trying to screw up his marriage. He really needed new friends.

5. He really loved the dumb broad. Try being married to someone you don't love.

I don't explain everything, just leave bread crumbs to follow. Anyway thanks. Harry in VA says I suck so I'm off to a good start. Maybe we are neighbors.