February Sucks Like Hell

So, I have not seen any more February Sucks stories lately

so I thought, hey, I should try an Over the Top version. Try not to let reality intrude on a fun story too much. For those of you who don't care for Tall Tales, stop here, don't read it. I tried to have fun with the same story others just beat to death, so I took it on a hard left turn. As usual, no one under eighteen years old in sexual situations. Any resemblance to anyone who is alive, dead, or in between is strictly prohibited because it is fiction. Please remember to have fun with the story and place tongue firmly in the cheek. IT IS OVER THE TOP. You have been warned.

The story is beginning...

...Just as my darling wife has just left to go powder her nose with Dee. Dee returned from the lady's room a few minutes later. My wife was not with her. Where the hell was my darling wife?

"Where's my wife?" I asked Dee.

"She's gone. It's the chance of a lifetime for her! She wants this one night with him. He is Marc LaValliere, after all!" She was smiling at me as she spoke, and for me, it's as though she was twisting the knife in my back. I'm just coming to grips with my wife's cunning betrayal and looking around the table, my very public humiliation. Everyone here knew what she was doing, but nobody thought to clue in the lovelorn stupid trusting husband. What an asshole I have been!

"What do you mean 'Gone'? With him? What are you saying, Dee?" I was quickly coming to fully understand this insane situation. My wife was going to fuck the son of a bitch football player, Marc LaValliere? Spend the night with him? On OUR SPECIAL NIGHT? It seemed like a ludicrous idea. But I remembered her face as they danced arm in arm, glued to each other. In my mind, there was a "CRACK!" as my solid marriage just completely disintegrated before my very own eyes. I felt like I had been shot with an elephant gun. My whole world was crashing down, and I could not stop it.

WAIT! Maybe it was not too late! They had to be walking out to the car, and it was a pretty good distance to the vehicles. Maybe, just maybe, if I ran like a cheetah... Chasing down a cheater! I could still stop this Armageddon. It was just a forlorn hope at this point, but goddammit, I WAS GOING TO TRY MY BEST! I was not going down without a fight!

"She slipped out the back door. She wants to spend one night with him... Tomorrow -" My mind went into overdrive. Dee was helping her do this! HER JOB WAS TO SLOW ME DOWN. The epiphany seemed crystal clear now. I had to move, and move as fast as humanly possible! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!!! I jumped up and spun on my heels.

"-There won't be any tomorrow. I see your fucking job was to slow me down. Thanks so much, Dee, for your fucking betrayal." I yelled at the evil scheming bitch over my shoulder as I sprinted towards the front door. Her face showed complete surprise at my reaction. So did all of our so-called friends. They did not expect my instant upset and my swift response. Fuck them all. Time for action, not vacillation. I had to run like the wind. There was no time, no time, NO FUCKING TIME TO WASTE! WIN, LOSE OR DRAW, I WASN'T GOING DOWN WITHOUT A GODDAMN FIGHT!

I was already running full speed towards the front door when two of Marc's big football friends stepped in my way. I roundhouse kicked both of their smiling faces, spinning like a giant ballerina, almost three stooges style. They immediately hit the floor, and I went up, over, and around the two huge muscle-bound athletes like a high hurdle. I think they were not expecting my MMA move at all. I was a marine, even if retired, but I was still a fucking jarhead through and through. Adapt and overcome. Never ever give up! Run till your heart explodes! RUN!

I hit the door running and almost took it off the hinges opening it with a kick to the steel release bar... and I sprinted like an Olympian towards the parking lot. I was running as if my very life depended on it, and in a way, it really did! There was a sidewalk and a tall privacy fence to my right, but I was running down the middle of the lane to the parking lot, trying to make time. There they were; I wasn't too late! Just getting into his SUV.

I saw my wife Linda in her special blue dress just getting into his shiny black Escalade; as I watched Marc close his door, I screamed her name and ran like hell towards the shiny black vehicle. He must have seen me running straight towards them as suddenly his tires spun, and he roared straight at me at full speed! I had not planned a game of chicken with a large and powerful SUV. He had to have seen me. So would my loving wife. She must have seen me as well. Everything was well lit by powerful quartz lights.

I screamed her name at the top of my lungs, "LINDA! LINDA! LINDA!!!" But it was to no avail. Marc had the car floored. He was really moving straight for me. I reached down and picked up a three inch long rock I saw and chucked it straight into the windshield headed for me, but it just bounced off. This fucker looked like he was actually gonna kill me! I guess David and Goliath doesn't work with large automobiles!

At the very last second, I jumped out of the way, but not fast enough to avoid being hit by the big SUV and thrown into the air. I flew up for what felt like an eternity, thinking I had lost my wife and my life on the same night. I looked in his car windshield as it hit my leg, and chest, and by the pale green interior lights, I saw the top of my darling wife's head bobbing up and down in his lap. That single image hurt me way more than my own bones breaking! My heart had been stabbed. It took her how many SECONDS for her to start sucking his dick? One? Two? Three? That fucking whore used to be my wife! My feelings were vivisected. Linda, how could you? You wanted his dick that bad? How could you do this to me? To us? Oh Linda, how could you?! Perhaps you didn't see your husband hit by a speeding car, because you were too busy sucking his dick. Oh Linda, how could you do this?

I'm sure I was only a few seconds airborne, spinning without control. I saw the concrete curb now seemingly headed for me and I hit it and the frozen blacktop very hard, and blackness consumed me. In that very instant of hurt and pain, I prayed for my own death.

She had destroyed us totally, consumed in her fiery lust, "WE" were no more! My wonderful and loving marriage ceased to exist in that awful, terrible moment. This was supposed to be our special night. Instead, it was the last moments of our union, our marriage had exploded into dust as far as I was concerned. Oh Linda, how could you?

I know now that hell is very real, and it exists. I am there. It was to become my new and permanent address, at least for quite a while. Then God given blackness enveloped me and I took a bit of a nap, my problems and pain gone for the moment. The skull fracture and concussion gave me momentary peace, as I laid there on the freezing pavement of a nightclub, while my loving whore wife sucked the dick of the man that put me here.

I didn't know that my ordeal was just beginning. My life would be forever changed from this one deliberate traitorous act and the hit and run attempted homicide upon me. It seemed quite clear that my LOVING WIFE was just that. Too bad it wasn't me she was loving.

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I heard a constant beep, beep, beep... What the hell was that?

When I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital. There were my loving parents looking at me. I felt terrible. My head hurt, my left leg and arm hurt badly, and every breath hurt. My chest felt like a blade was in it, and every breath hurt me. I guess I cracked or broke a few ribs as well. My "kind and loving" wife was nowhere to be seen. I guess I knew where she was. How could she commit such a dreadful perfidy? She had taken her secret adultery public, she meant to humiliate and embarrass me in front of everyone we know. That thought burned deep into my psyche. I was deeply humiliated by her evil and treacherous behavior. I still did not know how deep the knife had penetrated my soul.

Looks like the worst-case scenario was upon me. I was hurt, but my marriage was now over, killed by my cheating wife's lust for another man. I had lots of physical pain, but this mental anguish was way worse for me by far. Broken bones heal way faster and easier than broken hearts. This break felt permanent to me.

Apparently, my marriage was not quite as strong as I had surmised. In fact, my marriage would appear to be completely over and done, dead on arrival, burned to a crisp, cremated, and ready for burial. She had well and truly betrayed me; and she had done it in such a dramatic public fashion that it was as embarrassing as it could ever possibly be! She had given me permanent emotional scars from her awful treachery, and her fucking boyfriend had just added a few broken bones just for fun. I felt utterly destroyed and despondent. Just kill me now dear Lord! I yearned for death at that moment.

Strange things go through your mind at times like this, and somewhere the super logical engineer in me was thinking. "This was no random event! He had PICKED HER OUT OF A CROWD. Therefore, there was a plan in place, AND MY WIFE AND ALL OUR "FRIENDS" KNEW THE PLAN, WELL BEFORE THE NIGHT BEGAN!" Now the high sign that I saw between my wife and her boyfriend made sense, her willingness to go with him so suddenly... IT WAS ALL FULLY PRE-PLANNED, AND DEE AND THE SO-CALLED FRIENDS... WERE ALL A GODDAMNED PART OF IT! Jesus Chistmas, I had lived with and loved that woman with every part of my being... But it seemed to me, watching them dance so perfectly together- THIS WAS NOT THEIR FIRST TIME TOGETHER! Nobody dances like they know each other's moves with muscle memory, as if they had been dating and dancing for quite some time. That takes practice, practice and more practice. They danced flawlessly. The fuckers have been having an affair! I pegged the likelihood of that idea at least 80%. My engineer brain is rarely wrong. I did wonder about the 'when' of it. Perhaps when my kids were in daycare or with the grandparents, and I was always more than happy to watch my little angels whenever I could. She had been 'out with friends' quite a few times in the past few months. Silly me to trust her so implicitly that she basically conducted her affair right in front of me. I felt so gullible.

That revelation brought more questions than answers, but in my mind's eye, it revealed to me, this was a killing blow to me, her husband... This episode was to pave the way to what? Divorce? My death? That had been a close thing, but I don't think it was part of their plan. Their plan was shock and awe, like the undetectable planes dropping tons of bombs, they were going after my love and affection. They meant to break me. I guess my darling loving wife doesn't know me very well at all. So this was her version of Pearl Harbor and war had been declared. I am and always will be a Marine. When the shit hits the fan, I am at my very best. Was this his idea to just quickly kill me with the car and be done with it? He was deliberate in his actions. The fucker never slowed down. No, I do believe he would have been happy if I had died, but I don't think it was planned.

No this was a way to quickly and utterly destroy any and all love I had for this woman who had been my life... That part of their plan was working pretty good, now that I saw at least the outline of their project. This was no little weekend fling. This was a shotgun blast to end my deep enduring love for my loving wife, and humiliate me publicly, in front of all the people who knew me.

These fuckers were not my friends at all, not if they all knew what was going to happen...and did absolutely nothing to stop it! No, these were enemies of the first stripe, maybe friends of my sure-to-be-ex-wife, but certainly not MY friends. They were Judas Iscariot, and Cassius and Brutus, Benedict Arnold, all rolled into one evil bunch of backstabbing bastards. They were the very definition of treacherous as far as I was concerned. Traitors all, every single one of them. Fuck them all.

For that matter, it seemed that all of our so-called friends had some sort of prior knowledge of the dirty about-to-take-place perfidy, and for some insane reason, they all thought I would somehow be alright with this? How wrong they were!

They had thoroughly shown me their absolute true colors, and I would never have anything to do with those bunch of fuckers ever again. Fuck them all! They could all kiss my broken ass, and go straight to HELL. As for me, well... I was already there! I was in my very own personal hell.

My love for my wife had been smashed and twisted into something grotesque, like some modern art piece, with a brand new name, "Love Destroyed!". Yeah, that part of their plan had worked to perfection. Jesus may be able to forgive them, but they will be ice skating in HELL before I forgive those sons of bitches. FUCK THEM.

"What the hell happened?" my dad got right to it. He was never one to beat around the bush. I had to tell my folks the truth, and all of the story.

"Well, I would never have believed it, but my darling wife ran out the back door of a nightclub we were in. She got into a car with this football player lothario, and he ran me down with his car. I was running out to stop them, to try to talk some sense into her, and he saw me and just floored it, he drove straight at me. The fuckers name is Marc LaValliere. I tried to jump out of the way, but it was too late and he nailed me with his big SUV.

"Next thing I know, I am looking at my wonderful parents wondering where my slut wife is, where my kids are, and what the fuck am I going to do? I gotta get up..." I tried to get up. The pain level rose exponentially! Sweet Jesus! Apparently, I was hurt way worse than I originally thought. It seemed like everything on the one side was bashed, smashed and broken in one way or another.

"You can't get up there slugger, so don't try... Your left leg is badly broken in two or three places. Your left arm is smashed up pretty bad, but not broken all the way through, as are four cracked ribs. You have a hairline skull fracture and a moderate to severe concussion. You have a black eye from a punch, and someone kicked you in your privates, but I think, all in all, it could have been a lot worse. They were very worried about your spine, but all the X-rays on it came back negative on spinal column injuries, thank God." My dad was grateful for small miracles.

"You're scheduled for surgery to repair your leg. Oh did I mention the various internal injuries? You're pissing blood, and there is the very real possibility of one or more of the bone shards from your broken ribs piercing your lung. I think you should not try to move around too much." My Dad had a way with words. Yeah, my whole body hurt, especially my left side where I tried to stop a car. Perhaps my attempt to stop them was ill conceived, but goddamn it, I had to try. To not try to save my collapsing marriage without a fight... Well I would not consider myself a man. I had a thought as I looked at my mom and dad.

"I had to try Dad. You know why." I wept.

"Why honey? Why did he have to try so damned hard? He almost got killed in the process! Why?" my Mom whispered to my Dad. My dad tried to explain it to her.

"Because not to try would mean he was not a man in any way, shape, or form. He absolutely had to try to stop it from destroying his marriage and his family. He did what I, or any other man, would have done. I am proud that he is my son. He is definitely a good man, to the bitter end." my dad explained, bitter tears running down his cheeks. He gently squeezed my right shoulder in a spot that looked undamaged. My mother looked at me in a new light. I saw... pride. She gently kissed my face the way that mothers do. I felt the love of my parents and it helped me cope with the tragedy at hand, at least for a moment.

"Where are the kids?" I asked in earnest.

"We have the babies. They are in the waiting room. Her folks are watching them. They are as devastated about her actions as we all are. She has shocked and surprised everyone. That scum suckin' piece of shit that you married is still missing in action. Did you piss her off or something? Someone has been sending you horrid pictures all night on your phone. The pictures are of Linda and him together... doing things-." My Dad choked and could not speak for a second. "Son, I would suggest that you don't look at them, but you are a man and I suppose you must see them. They are unbelievably hurtful." My dad looked at me with all the sorrow in his body showing. I would look at the phone shit later, I just wasn't up to it right then. One hit at a time!

"Dad, I need you to call uncle Mario." I was not one to sit back and lick my wounds. No time to regroup. Time to attack! My uncle Mario was our family's secret weapon. "I need to talk to him right away. Just as soon as I can."

"Honey, are you sure? That's a pretty big step." my mother who had been crying and touching my face asked me. She knew what calling Uncle Mario meant. It signaled the end of my marriage, without a doubt.

"What would you do Mom? Dad? Any of your old friends on the force help us out here? Get me this fucker's home address, and lend me your shotgun Dad, and I'll just hop right on over there right now. I only need two shells of double aught buckshot or a couple of deer slugs and I'll fix things right up." I was more than ready to kill the s.o.b., and kill her too while I was at it. I was so angry at my slut wife and the bastard that just took her from my arms. Death was in my heart. I was murderously angry. I could settle things right quick with two pulls on the trigger.

"Much as I would like to help you, hell I would be happy to do it for you, we would all wind up in jail. We have the children to think about. I will call uncle Mario. Those fuckers will wish they were never born. You just rest easy son, and get better. Think healing thoughts. Speak to the Almighty and ask for his help. This is the time you need to think hard about your own future and your children as well.

"Try to remember everything that happened last night and write it down, all that you did, and what everyone else did and said. While it is fresh on your mind! Or ask one of the nurses or candy stripers to do it for you. The police detectives will be here soon. It's only nine in the morning." my dad held my shoulder lightly in case it was busted as well.

What had I not broken? It would seem that an SUV and concrete are gonna win every confrontation with a human body. I was a bit amazed that I was still alive! This is what happens when you try to be superman. Kids, don't try this at home.

"Mom...Dad... I have a little bit of an idea. Why don't you guys book a flight to Orlando? Take the kids to the big Mouse, and have a nice couple of weeks vacation. Hell, take your time, make it a month! See all the sights. It is not going to be pretty around here for the next few weeks. Buy whatever you need for the kids, and I will reimburse you. Once Mario gets here, well...you know what is going to happen. I want you and them as far away from that as possible." Things were going to get very bad, very quickly. The animosity between Linda and I was going to be off the scale, and I didn't want my children to be a witness to that. It was bad enough that their happy home was about to be destroyed, they didn't need to know their mom was a huge slut as well.

"Are you sure about this Son?" my Mom asked me.

"I'm not sure about anything Mom... But I do know my uncle. This is war now. I don't know how it will end. I want the noncombatants safe and secure. Dad... Make the call. Tell him everything. Make sure he understands what is going on. We need his expertise more than we have ever before." I looked at my mother and had one terrifying awful and ugly thought. This was permanent once Mario was involved. No going back. Uncle Mario was scorched earth policy. He would make Sherman's march to the sea look like a day at the beach.