February Sucks - The Bus

I sighed, "I know Dee. Once I find him, I'll need to say I'm sorry and likely a few other things. I can imagine he's pretty upset."

"Upset," Dee snorted, "he was raging, but he's a good guy Linda. He will get over it; he loves you. Jane and Phil thought the same thing. They called this morning to check on things before they went to pick up their kids."

Linda gasped, "The kids, Dee, I got to go. Mrs Porter still has Emma and Tommy. Hopefully, Jim is with them."

I rang off with Dee and quickly made my way to Mrs Porter's house.

Emma and Tommy gave me great big hugs and showed me a drawing they had been making. Then, as I told them to collect their stuff, I asked Mrs Porter.

"So, you haven't heard from Jim?" I tried to ask politely without sounding too worried.

She looked at me funny, "No dear, I thought this was your special night, and he'd be with you?"

I blushed, and she caught it, and her look spoke volumes.

"Linda, you didn't do something stupid, did you?" she asked in that tone that grandmother's style of judgement that started to make me squirm.

I stammered, "Of... Of course not. Jim and I just took different paths home, that's all."

I grabbed the kids and got out of there. At home, the kids asked how our night out was. When Emma asked where daddy was, I responded that I was sure he'd be home later and distracted them with popcorn and a movie, Disney's Frozen, of course.

I called Jim's phone.

"Jim, it's me. I know you are most likely upset, but where are you? I'm worried, and the kids are asking after you. Please call me back. I love you." Those last few words felt hollower than I wanted them to as I hung up. I felt like I wanted to say more but didn't know how or what. I sat down on a stool in the kitchen as a single tear escaped and fell to the bench below.

Somewhere inside me, I could feel guilt beginning to eat away at me. Something wasn't right; I knew Jim would be upset that I left and went with Marc; he loved me, so of course, he'd be troubled. But I wanted to believe that with that same love, he would forgive me. But he never got the kids, and he would never forget his kids. I was beginning to think a single night of great sex with a local celebrity wasn't worth what I was starting to feel, and I had no idea where my husband was.

[:::: Jim ::::]

I groaned. I felt like I had been run over by a train, everything hurt, and everything itched. I couldn't move my arms or legs, and evening opening my eyes hurt. The last thing I remember was walking out of the hotel, tears hot on my face despite the cold. I was going to call a cab and make my way home after discovering that Linda had taken that wife stealing asshole, Marc LaValliere, back to our hotel room and was fucking him. After that, nothing.

"He's coming too," I heard a voice say. I managed to open my eyes and found a pretty blonde nurse standing over me. "It's ok, sir, don't worry right now, you're in the hospital after a bad accident. You can't talk as you are on ventilation, so for the moment, relax."

She spoke calmly with me for a few minutes, and I learned her name was Ellen. I couldn't do much more than move my eyes and blink; she smiled as I tried to communicate. "Take your time. We will cover everything over the next few days. Do you have anyone we need to contact right now?"

I thought for a minute, shook my head then nodded.

"That bad, eh?" Ellen replied I think my eyes were telling a story. "Okay, for the moment, just relax. In a few hours, we will get the tube removed and get your details."

Later, a doctor came in and removed the tube, and Ellen fed me some ice chips while the doctor questioned me.

"How are you feeling...?" He asked.

"Jim," I croaked out.

"Jim," he nodded, "Well Jim, how are you feeling?" he repeated.

"Like I was hit by a bus," I replied.

He couldn't help it; he laughed. I looked at him questioningly, "Sorry, Jim, but I'm sorry to tell you that you were hit by a bus," he got serious. "You are actually quite lucky to be alive. Both your legs are broken, as well as your right arm. You had a serious concussion, and your lungs ruptured as well your spleen. You almost died on the way here. If the ambulance had been any longer, I don't know that we would be talking." He ended quietly.

I took a minute to take it all in.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"Just under five days, and with the seriousness of your injuries, you're going to be here for at least another few weeks, perhaps longer. So, we need to make sure your organs are going to heal."

We spoke for another few minutes, and I laid there, three of my appendages in casts, and the other had been strapped down to keep me from moving overmuch.

Nurse Ellen came in holding some forms and undid the strap holding my left arm. She smiled. "Now, Jim, was it?" I nodded. "Good, now I need a few details around your insurance, contacts, that sort of thing." She looked at me with a critical eye. "And I get that there is something else going on. For example, you had a wedding ring. Would you like me to contact your wife?" she asked tentatively.

"No," I said sadly. She nodded with something approaching understanding.

"Who then?" she asked

"Let me give you the details of my mother," I said. My mother, Ruth, lived about two hours away. I asked Ellen to contact her but told her to let my mother know that she was not to talk to my wife. "Tell mom that it's all about an old friend from home. she'll know what to do."

Ellen smiled, "Got it, and Jim!" I looked at her, "Welcome back!"

Mom arrived four hours later, a whirlwind of worry and activity. Mom was a widow; my father had passed away from a heart attack several years ago. Nevertheless, she was active in her retirement community. I was the youngest of three kids, but she had the energy of someone in her forties rather than a sixty-four-year-old.

After doing the usual mother hen doting and looking sufficiently upset at my injuries, she sat down in the chair beside me.

"So?" she said.

"Yeah, it's that bad," I replied, referring to our use of the family code word to talk to no one.

For the next hour, I described in detail the events of February leading up to our postponed Valentine's Day evening, how I booked the Maddison, how we went to the club and danced. How Linda left with Marc LaValliere, how one of our 'friends' distracted me so they could escape. Then upon being devastated by Linda's betrayal, I went back to the hotel room to pick up my bag and found them having sex in the romantic retreat I had booked. Last I told her how I unknowingly walked into the bus in my anguish, ending up here.

My mother was appalled. I had not seen her this upset since dad died. However, it wasn't just sorrow. It was rage. She was going to blow a gasket if this continued, and I needed her to be focused right now.

"Mom, I need you to check on Emma and Tommy. I have no idea what Linda has done or where she is. She may even still be with Marc LaValliere for all I know."

She steamed but calmed a little at the mention of her grandchildren. "You've got it, sweetie. Shall I bring them here to visit you?"

"I'd like that, but not Linda, okay?"

"Don't worry, that slut isn't getting anywhere near my son." her eyes flashed. I just felt sad.

"Mom, I still love her, but right now...."

She patted my arm, "I know, sweetie, I know. And I'm angrier right now than I have ever been. I can't believe that she could do this."

"I know, mom, and like you, I can't fathom it. I always thought Linda and I would be together forever."

We sat and stared at each other for a minute, both of us lost in our thoughts.

"Will you be okay for a few hours if I go and pick up the kids?" she asked.

I nodded, and she kissed me on the head, grabbed her stuff and headed off.

I again lost myself in thoughts of what I had done to be so thoroughly shat upon by my wife.

[:::: Linda ::::]

The doorbell rang, and I ran and opened it. I had hoped that it might be Jim. Every day I became more desperate; every minute he wasn't here with me, I felt worse knowing that this was my fault. I had driven my best friend away.

In the doorway stood my mother-in-law, Ruth. But this wasn't the kind, gentle Ruth that I had known. There was a hardness to her that I had never seen. I had called Ruth a couple of times asking if she had seen Jim. The last time two days ago, she had asked what happened, and all I told her was that we had a disagreement and I hadn't heard from him and was trying to find him.

"Ruth, what are you doing here? Has Jim...."

SLAP!

Ruth's open palm connected with my cheek firmly and with a force that I never knew a sixty-four-year-old woman could have.

"Slut!" My mother-in-law almost yelled at me. Then she just barged through the door as I stood there stunned. It had been over a week since that night, and still, no one had heard from Jim. I was going frantic and had even filed a police report. But Ruth must know something. Despite the stinging on my face, which I know I deserved. I shook myself and responded.

"Ruth, I don't know what...."

Her eyes glared, and nostrils flared as she regarded me with utter concept, even hate. I took a step back. This was not going to go well. Ruth must know something of what happened.

"You know exactly what you did, you disgusting whore. You abandoned my son to go fuck some other man," she snarled at me.

I was intimidated by the woman's ferocity and knew she was correct, but without thinking, I went on the defensive. "But Ruth, it was Marc LaValliere. You know who that is?" I was trying woefully to justify myself. But even as I said it, the words rang hollow even to me.

She spat, physically spat. On my floor, "Of course, I know who it is. He's some self-important pussy hound that plays football and is getting off on seducing married women. And it doesn't make a lick of different who he is, you betraying bitch. You destroyed my son's heart. And what is worse you had all your friends help. Jim is devastated, but I'm here to take the kids to go and see him."

I was starting to cry. It wasn't supposed to go like this, "Let me get my stuff. I'll bring them.."

"No!" Ruth exclaimed, "He doesn't want to see you. I'm here to pick up his children to go and see him. That means without you." Her eyes were blazing with malice. I collapsed to the floor, sobbing. "What have I done?" I said to myself.

The moment stretched on for minutes, neither of us saying anything and some of the enormity of what I had done at last began to break through the self-imposed barrier I placed on my mind. I was still trying to justify that it was just sex and Jim would love me enough to get over it. I didn't want to face the reality that I was lying to myself.

"Linda," I felt Ruth's hand on my shoulder, her voice softened. I looked up, tears and snot flowing down my face. "You have taken a love that was pure and white, then with no regard for the feeling of your husband, dragged it through the mud tearing it apart, piece by piece with each step you walked away from him with another man. You left Jim alone and embarrassed. You cuckolded him in front of people that you both called friends.

"Part of me wants to beat you an inch from death so that you have an idea of what you have done to that man who loved you more than his own life.

"Can you believe that not moments before you became a dirty slut, you had asked my son to take you away so you could make love? I know I can't believe that someone can shift from love to abandoning someone that fast." She was talking calmly. "Right now, Linda, you disgust me; you're a whore of the highest order."

"But Ruth," I pleaded. "I love Jim. I don't know what happened. Marc just came up and, and I...." I couldn't finish.

She shook her head, "I get attraction, Linda, but we're humans, not animals. We don't just rut the other person because we attract them. We make a conscious choice to be with our partner. Four you that was my son, your husband, and he deserved more than that from you."

I looked at Ruth, and she just kept the blows coming.

"He is in more pain than you can ever imagine right now. And he wants, no, he needs to see his kids, and it needs to be without you."

I kept sobbing on the floor. I had hope that Jim was blowing off steam. I knew once he wasn't home that he was more than upset, but I always thought he would come home and we would work it out. The one night with Marc and all the orgasms in the world was not worth this.

Ruth left me sitting on the floor, going and finding Emma and Tommy. A few minutes later, they came out excited to go and see their dad, but finding me on the floor distraught, they became concerned.

"What's wrong, mom? Tommy asked.

If only I could tell him, if only I could tell my son how much I'd screwed up his life with one stupid decision. I cried, unable to respond. Ruth was right; I had destroyed Jim; I may have ruined my family. Neither Jim nor my kids deserve what I had done. Ruth squatted down in front of my kids.

"Kids, mom is having a hard time because right now she can't come with us to see your dad. But she will be here when I bring you back later this evening, and you can tell her all about your visit. Okay?"

I looked at them, and they appeared to accept that. They came over and hugged me, letting me know they loved me and I could see daddy soon. I managed to pick myself up and wiped my face to help Ruth out to the car with the kids. As we strapped them in, Ruth stopped to speak to me. Her handprint was still bright red on my face.

"You need to know right now. Things are going to get a lot worse. You have torn this family apart, and while you are number one on my shit list right now, dear daughter in law. You have two children to look after." She paused, "I advise you to be ready for some shocks this evening when they get home. They are going to have some stories to tell you." Behind the anger she had at me, there was pain and sorrow.

I stood motionless on the driveway as Ruth got into the car, backed out and drove off without another word. I knew that my world was going from bad to worse, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

[:::: Jim ::::]

As mom came in with Emma and Tommy, they were delighted to see me and then cried seeing me held up like a pinata in my hospital bed. When they asked what happened, I told them.

"I got hit by a bus," I told them.

They looked at me.

'Seriously, kids, I got hit by a bus, and they brought me here."

Emma asked, holding my left hand with her brother. "But dad, why couldn't mom come and visit? She needs to know what's happened to you."

I squeezed her hand in mine, "You can tell her tonight, but kids... mom and dad," I sighed. How do you tell two young kids what had happened? "We've got some adult things to work through. But you need to know we love both of you, and we will always be there for you."

Emma looked at me, "Mom did something bad, didn't she?"

I looked stunned; my mom also drew in a breath.

Emma continued. "Mom cries a lot when she thinks we're not looking, and Mandy at school told me her dad said the same thing to her when their parents got a divorce. Mandy's mom ran away with her boss leaving Mandy and her older brother with their dad." She looked at me with a question in her eyes. "Are you and mom getting a divorce?"

I looked sad. How is it that in today's society that divorce is so common, the breakdown in marriage occurring on such a regular basis that young children don't even blink an eyelid asking the question?

"I don't know, sweetie," I responded, not trying to answer her first question.

"Did mom do this to you, dad?" Tommy asked.

I laughed, "No, son, I really did get hit by a bus." I told him.

The kids sat with me for the next hour, and we talked about my accident. My nurse, Ellen came in and smiled seeing my kids with me, then brought in some permeant markers asking if they would like to be the first to sign my casts. So, they spent the next half hour drawing on both my leg and arm casts. And I must admit I felt better than I had in days just having the kids with me.

But I was getting tired, and mom sensed I needed rest.

"Common kids, I think your father needs to sleep, I'll take you home, and you can come to visit him tomorrow. Perhaps you can bring him some clothes and his iPad."

They smiled; they liked my iPad to watch movies, usually Frozen, on it.

[:::: Linda ::::]

I was a mess. My eyes were puffy and red, my mouth was dry, and my nose was sore from blowing every couple of minutes. I sat in the front lounge room with a box of tissues, just staring out the window, wondering when the kids would be home and if Jim would be coming with them. Then, finally, a little before eight in the evening, Ruth's little ford pulled into the drive and Ruth and the kids got out.

I met them at the front door, and both kids gave me a hug that lacked warmth. Then, they trundled off to their bedrooms, Emma in particular glaring daggers at me. They knew something.

I looked at Ruth, there was still anger there, but its intensity had diminished somewhat.

"Linda, can I sit down with you for a few minutes? We need to talk."

With a sense of foreboding, I sat with Ruth down on lounges.

She took in a deep breath. "Linda, the reason that no one heard from Jim is that he's in the hospital."

I gasped, and my hand went to my chest, "Hospital, Ruth, Jim is he..." I didn't know how to ask the question.

She shook her head, "No, he's not dead. Well, he almost died. The night when you broke him, he was hit by a bus outside the Maddison hotel."

She stopped and looked at me. It wasn't a welcoming look as she waited for me.

"He was hit by a bus.... Outside the Maddison...." I tried to take it all in. Then, moments later, the conversation sitting with Marc having breakfast, the afterglow of sex still all over me, came flooding back into my mind.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I screamed from the very core of my being. My complete betrayal of my husband hit me. I had giggled at Marc's comment about the guy being hit by the bus because his girlfriend dropped him. I screamed and screamed; my best friend almost died because of me.

The kids hearing my screams came running from their bedrooms, trying to hug me as I dissolved into a puddle on the ground by the couch. It was my fault, all my fault. My husband, the man I loved, had been utterly destroyed. His mind, his body and soul were all broken because of me. I was aware of my kids crying over me for a while, but I didn't have it in me to respond. Then I heard another voice calling out.

"Linda," Ruth was saying through the haze, "Linda!"

SLAP!

Again, I felt the sting of my mothers-in-law's hand on my cheek. But at least she used the other side this time. My left cheek was still stinging from earlier.

"Linda, snap out of it. Your children are here." Ruth admonished me.

I looked, and Emma and Tommy were holding me and crying as well.

Over the next half hour, the kids wouldn't leave my side. They held onto me as Ruth sat down on the other couch, essentially watching, I kept crying, and the kids tried to console me. I didn't want it; I didn't deserve it. At last, we reached a point where we were all settled enough that I could send the kids for a bath. They were old enough to sort that out themselves, so we sent them on the way.

Ruth and I again sat together.

"So, are you getting a feel for how badly you fucked up?" Ruth asked me, a deadpan look levelled against me.

I sniffed and gave a wane little smile, "As much as I feel right now, I'm sure it's a tithe of what my husband is feeling." I sobbed, "I really destroyed everything, didn't I?"

"Linda, that is the understatement of the year." was Ruth's reply.