Ferry Me Over

Jane looked back and saw Lena staring at her. She smiled easily, instinctively, and turned back to the view.

Lena stood and walked over to Jane's side. She placed her left arm around her waist and her right hand on the rail. Then she leaned her head gently against Jane's arm.

Jane stiffened and slowly relaxed, before putting her arm around Lena and pulling her in.

They stood like that for a few minutes, looking out across the water, side by side, thinking vaguely of all that had happened and all that might be to come. And when Lena stood up straight to loosen her neck, their arms lingered comfortably across each other's backs for a moment, just long enough for a little tension to creep back in.

Lena was the one to break contact, excusing herself to go to the bathroom, where she again fought the urge to masturbate despite a richness of emotion and sensation made all the more exquisite by how surprising it was. She'd always found Jane attractive, but it wasn't really a thing until she heard her describe a sexual act - and sexual to the nth degree with its combination of intense carnality and voyeurism, both Jane's as observer and Lena's as confidant. That phone conversation had awakened something in her, something that had only grown as the day wore on, and she was just about done trying to deny it.

*

"You coming back inside, or do you need to get going?"

A few seconds passed. Lena sat motionless in the driver's seat. Jane looked across at her and was about to speak again when Lena opened her mouth.

"I could use a cold drink," she said, returning Jane's glance. Jane's searched Lena's eyes for information; found little.

And so they went back into the house, Lena following Jane through the door, eyes fixed on her swaying left hand as she walked to the kitchen counter. Jane took two glasses from a cupboard under the sink and placed them on the bench.

"Well, this has been quite a day," said Jane as she filled a glass with water.

She was aware of Lena still standing over by the door, watching her, not responding. Then she moved toward Jane, a serious look on her face, and the air was suddenly sucked out of the room. Jane reached for the hard familiarity of the bench top, seeking to steady herself, afraid she might collapse with the full glass still in her hand.

Lena placed her hand over Jane's where it rested on the counter top. Jane's eyes widened, her heart pounding in confusion. Lena lifted her head and kissed her softly, then pulled back to look into Jane's eyes. She gazed back, mouth slightly open. She hadn't moved her hand from under Lena's.

Lena kissed her again, a little harder this time. To both of their surprise, Jane parted her lips and kissed her back just as hard, flexing the muscles around her mouth to get better purchase and grunting with satisfaction. They entwined their tongues in careful exploration. A warm, nervous feeling expanded in the pit of Lena's belly.

"When you were - your research - were some of them women?" Jane asked.

"Mmm-hmm. Yeah," replied Lena, before breaking off and leading Jane over to the couch. They collapsed onto it, mouths pressed together once more. Jane gasped as her ass hit the cushions and sent a jolt into her clitoris.

Lena pressed her body against Jane's and gripped her upper arms hard. She worked a knee between her legs. Jane slowly allowed her thighs to part, still a little uncertain. That was about to change.

"Oh," said Jane as Lena's knee rubbed up against her vagina, slick with fresh moisture and lingering heat, a leftover from Lena's talk about her Craigslist experiences. Lena breathed loudly through her nose as she continued to kiss Jane hard and grind her knee into Jane's crotch.

"Oh fuck," said Jane. Lena rocked her leg up and down. There were two layers of fabric in the way but to Jane, it was as though her vulva was open to the air - and growing steadily more engorged by the second. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." She ran her hands over Lena's back. Her eyes were squeezed shut in concentration.

Lena made a subtle adjustment to her knee movements, going from simple up-and-down to a tight, circular motion. Jane responded immediately with quickened breath, deeper kisses, and moaning sounds. Lena increased the pressure and gradually increased speed until the two of them were a jerking, writhing mass.

Jane's arousal suddenly shot to eleven. She focused on the intense sensation in her clitoris and felt the wetness in her vagina leak out into her underwear. Then she came in a violent, gasping shudder, bucking her hips back and forth. Lena reduced the pressure and just held her knee against Jane, allowing her to spasm around her.

"Jesus. Jesus," said Jane. A couple of minor bolts shot through her crotch before it settled down to a warm hum. The orgasm had receded quickly, overtaken by a succession of flashing thoughts: what just happened? I feel guilty. What a release! Lena's leg between my thighs. Two thirty-five, still an hour before I need to pick Chloe up. I don't know how I feel. Lena's lips. Am I as bad as Tom? He deserves it. Lena. Wow. Lena.

Their breathing settled back to normal. Lena, still putting aside her own intense arousal, which had cycled up and down all day, said, "Sorry. That was, um... Are you okay?"

Jane continued to stare straight ahead, but she laughed distractedly, struggling to stay in the moment with Lena as her mind raced. "Yeah, yeah, I'm, uh..." She laughed again. "Jesus. I had no idea you were..."

"Yeah..." She stroked a lock of Jane's hair. "I'm not sure what I am, to be honest."

Jane looked at Lena. Because she was slumped back on the cushions, with Lena half on top of her, their eyes were level for a change.

"I think you're wonderful," said Jane. Then she giggled nervously. "You're wonderful."

A moment as they looked into each other's eyes, barely a foot apart, and Jane's smile fell away. She leaned forward to kiss Lena again and twisted her body into hers, pushing Lena back into the couch. As their tongues continued to probe, Jane reached into Lena's pants and cupped her vagina over her underwear.

"Oh," said Lena, filled with satisfaction at finally being touched. "Oh my god."

Jane pushed her palm lightly inwards, fingers compressing Lena's moistened lips. The underwear clung to the opening in between. Heat emanated from inside her. A patina of sweat and vaginal fluid began to build on Jane's hand; once she felt the juices soaking through the fabric and into her skin, Jane was suddenly aware of Lena's musky scent spreading out from her body and clothes and into the room.

Jane rubbed up, down, and around, a little self-consciously. She knew what she liked herself but had no idea what would get Lena off. It seemed to be working, though, judging by Lena's sharp intakes of breath and brief squeaks of pleasure. She settled into a rhythm that felt comfortable for her - a speed she thought she could keep up without her hand cramping - and that made Lena squeeze her eyes closed in concentration. Jane felt the lingering buzz in her own crotch rise in pitch once more, a fresh run of fluid coursing out of her. She kissed Lena passionately and a little messily, their mingled saliva coating each other's lips.

For Lena, the feeling of Jane's hand massaging her crotch felt impossibly good after a day of denied lust. She'd been looking at Jane so much, wanting to kiss her, increasingly thrilled by the proximity of her calves, her neck, her ass. She'd even opened up about her sexual past, and as if the muscle memory of those recollections wasn't enough, she could see the arousal in Jane's wide eyes. There was all the physical contact, too, mostly hugging, simultaneously loosening and tightening all the invisible strings around her body. Like, ah, this touch feels so enmeshed and comfortable, so right... but I want more.

Now. More. Jane's ministrations at her crotch felt fantastic, but she needed that extra push to get her over the edge.

"Two fingers inside, please," she whispered.

Jane stopped her movements and looked at Lena, then put her hand inside her underwear and probed momentarily for the opening, then extended two digits slowly into the length of her vagina. As they sank all the way back to the knuckle without hindrance, Lena's head fell back and she let out a long sigh. Jane pumped her fingers in and out slowly. She was momentarily distracted by Lena's labia, which felt larger and puffier than hers, and by a small kink a few centimetres beyond her opening. It was such a strange feeling to probe a vagina that wasn't her own. But she returned to focusing on the task at hand when Lena's voice grew more urgent and higher in pitch.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah..." said Lena. "Faster. Faster."

Jane increased the pace and pressed the heel of her palm into the flesh around Lena's exposed clitoris. In a flash, Lena began arching her back and pushing against Jane's hand. Jane rubbed her palm up and down, bumping and massaging the erect nub, while she continued the piston action with her fingers.

From there, it took seconds. Lena was desperately aware of the sheer volume of tension she was about to be rid of, and flew into a momentary panic about the uncontrolled sounds she might make. But then the first wave hit, and all thoughts were gone, lost in an extended peak of ecstasy. Her vagina clamped onto Jane's fingers, squeezing them tight repeatedly. Her anus clenched and unclenched. Jane's palm on her clitoris gave such intense stimulation that for a few seconds, she could have sworn it was part of her, as though Jane's flesh and blood were fusing with hers and spreading into the surrounding tissue.

One particularly strong contraction pushed Jane's fingers all the way out of her. As they exited with a faint pop, Lena leaned into Jane's body and buried her face in her chest. Jane extracted her hand from Lena's underwear and put both arms around her. They fell sideways on the couch, Lena's head still slumped on Jane, and lay there cuddling wordlessly and catching their breath for several minutes.

Jane finally said, "I don't really know what just happened."

"Me neither," replied Lena, her voice muffled by the swell of Jane's left breast. "Just don't tell me you regret it. Not now."

"No," said Jane. She squeezed Lena a little tighter. "No, the opposite."

"I'm so glad," said Lena. "I'm sorry if you feel bad about it later." Her words came out in slow chunks. "I didn't plan any of this."

"Me neither," said Jane, laughing at the thought of it. As if she would be able to engineer both a cheating partner, a turn in her own sexuality, and a willing woman she knew and loved - all colliding on a single day.

"I just couldn't stop the feeling," said Lena. She lifted her head to look at Jane. "And you were so good."

Jane smiled and blushed visibly. "I had no idea what I was doing."

"Soooo gooood," repeated Lena.

Her eyes rested briefly on the microwave oven across the room. The digital clock read 15:06.

"Oh, shit." She unwound herself from Jane and the couch and stood up, flicking hair out of her face. "I have to go. We both have to go."

Jane looked up at Lena. Real life was about to crowd back in. Could this be real life, too, though? Her entire world had been turned upside down, and she wasn't sure she'd be flipping it back over. Still, Chloe needed to be picked up, and then Tom would come home, and it would all need to be dealt with.

"I'll be right back," said Lena and dashed to the bathroom.

Jane stood and went to wash her hands at the kitchen sink. Before she did so, she inhaled long and deep of Lena's scent still glistening on her knuckles. She carefully tasted it and was momentarily transported back to Lena's body thrashing and moaning under her touch. There was a danger in staying there, so she reluctantly removed her finger from her mouth and soaped the residue away.

At the door, they embraced each other one last time, kissing chastely. Lena ran her hands through Jane's hair. Jane dug her fingers into Lena's back.

"I'll call you tonight, okay? This doesn't have to end here," said Lena.

"Okay," said Jane.

She wanted to stay joined to Lena, this unexpectedly deep and welcoming harbour, so fresh and alive compared to the ravaged high seas of the life she'd been living. But she thought of Chloe's smiling face, and the grey beauty of Puget Sound, and the comfort she felt every time she walked into the office and saw Lena sitting there. She clung to the possibility of Lena's voice in her ear tonight, the next simple step down a different road - a road that could be long and difficult but loaded with abundant reward, a road that required her to be as strong and independent as the person before her. The person who proved it could be done. The person she might, all of a sudden, against everything she understood of her neglected self, be falling for.

So she let go.