Ferry Ride

When they got to Nick's truck, something her father used to say came to Jennifer out of the blue as she was wondering where all of this was going. When it came to her it made her smile.

"Round and round and round she goes, and where she'll stop, nobody knows. Except the Lord, and he won't tell."

Nick saw the smile and asked what was going on.

"I don't know," she told him, unable to stop smiling. "I'm not sure anyone does. Except maybe the Lo..."

She stopped talking, kissed him on the cheek, then waited for him to open her door.

"You're a strange woman, Jennifer Dixon."

She laughed but didn't say anything. But she did think something...strange.

"Strange times call for even stranger actions."

It was so goofy it made her laugh causing Nick to shake his head.

The ride back on the ferry was very different from the ride over to Vashon Island. Because she had a cell phone, Jennifer rarely wore a watch, but she did check the time to find out how many hours she'd known Nick. The answer made her smile because she couldn't believe how much had changed in that short amount of time. And while...time would tell...for now, at least, everything that had changed seemed to be for the good.

They spent their time engaging in small talk just getting to know one another better with a few questions about family coming up here and there. And as they talked, Jennifer couldn't find many things that Nick had in common with Bob, but as they got acquainted, she realized that didn't matter to her at all.

Bob had been gregarious. He was always the life of the party. He lived life fast and hard. He had money but spent it like there was no tomorrow. Nick was quiet and thoughtful. He certainly didn't have a lot of money, but he did have a job he loved and from what Jennifer could tell, was very good at it. Bob wasn't one for pets (or kids) and Nick loved both.

The only thing she could see that both men had in common was their looks. Bob was handsome in that flamboyant, devil-may-care way while Nick exuded this kind of mysterious thing ala James Dean, only without the dangerous side. And since Jennifer had had enough of men who loved living on the edge for one lifetime, she found Nick's personality as soothing and comforting as she found him attractive. And as she stole glances of him every chance she had, it was obvious she found him extremely attractive.

Jennifer understood that some portion of this attraction was due to his relative youth. That was simply undeniable. But there was just something about him that seemed to draw Jennifer to him. Something...deeper. Not like the proverbial moth to the flame, but more like a long lost traveler at sea who, out of nowhere, suddenly sees the beam of a lighthouse guiding him back to shore.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you," she heard Nick say playfully. And the truth was, she hadn't. She'd been lost in a 'sea' of thought, and as she refocused, she looked at him again and wondered if 'this' was even a 'this' and if it were, could it last more than a first date.

"Sorry. I was just kind of daydreaming," she admitted with a smile.

"Yeah? I suppose I could let that go depending on what it was you were daydreaming about," he told her playfully.

She smiled at him then said, "Not...what. Who. Or would that be...whom?"

"I'm not a grammarian, so don't look at me," Nick said.

"I'm not sure I can do that," Jennifer replied.

She saw the puzzled look on Nick's face, laughed, then explained.

"Not look at you. I'm not sure I can do that and...not look at you."

She paused then said she obviously wasn't a grammar expert, either, causing Nick to laugh at her silliness.

"That's okay. I like you for other reasons," Nick told her as he returned her smile.

He leaned over, kissed her, then said, "And the reasons keep piling up."

By the time Jennifer got home she felt like she'd often thought people felt after attending a reunion and making some kind of deep connection with a former classmate. She'd had no intention of even meeting anyone when she got on the ferry. It was an annual event now; a reminder of the love she'd had and lost.

On the one hand, it wasn't all that surprising that she'd met someone. That could happen anywhere at anytime. It was more that she'd met someone who, in the space of less than 12 hours, had turned her world upside down. Had she introduced herself to someone else, there was every chance that person would have been polite, but nothing more would have come of it.

But that hadn't been the case. More had come of it. So much more that Jennifer couldn't shake the feelings that were tying her stomach up in knots and quite literally making her heart hurt. Were she not a seasoned RN, she might have wondered if she was having a heart attack, but because she knew what was going on, that wasn't the case. But the reason for her chest pain was just slightly less worrisome than thinking she was experiencing a cardiac event.

Were the latter the case, she'd know exactly what to do. She'd call 911 then give the EMTs her diagnosis based on her knowledge and years of experience. But she had no idea what to do about the way she felt after spending less than half a day with someone she barely knew. She didn't even understand what it was she feeling, but the feelings were so strong they were making it impossible for her to think about anything else.

Her thoughts continued to race until around midnight when the realization that she had to get up at 6am and at work by seven convinced her take an Ambien she had left from the days after Bob's passing. She didn't believe in self-medicating, but she had to get some sleep. People's lives often depended on her decisions, and the last thing she needed to do was hurt someone because she'd been up for 24 hours straight before even starting her shift.

Mercifully, the drug knocked her out in short order, and when she awoke at 6 o'clock she was tired and groggy, but after a hot shower and two cups of coffee, she felt good. Physically, anyway.

Mentally, she'd had less than 20 seconds of time to herself before the previous day's events crept back into her tired brain. And they stayed there until she got to work, and even then, they gave her no respite until she was able to talk with her dearest friend during a short break around 11am.

Louise Calloway had been at the same hospital for 23 years, and Jennifer considered her her closest friend. She'd been there for her when Bob passed away, and in the time since his death, she'd become an ever closer friend with whom Jennifer could share nearly everything.

"No offense, but you look awful," Louise told her. "Was yesterday tough?"

It took Jennifer a second or two to remember that yesterday was the anniversary of Bob's passing, and when she understood, she almost felt ashamed.

"No. I mean...yes. Well, it was just...confusing," Jennifer tried to explain as they grabbed a cup of hospital coffee which wasn't as bad as people often thought it was.

"How so?" Louise asked as they sat down for the first time since arriving. "Was it just being out there on the ferry on the anniversary of his passing?"

"No. That wasn't it."

"Did something—or someone—upset you?" her friend asked with the utmost of concern.

"Upsetting is the wrong word," Jennifer replied.

"Okay. What word would be the right one? You mentioned confusing."

"Yes. Confusing. Or...unsettling maybe?"

"You didn't bump into Doctor Richards, did you?" Louise asked, knowing her friend had gone out with him.

"Doctor Richards? No."

"Okay. He lives on Vashon Island, and he wasn't here yesterday, and you did go out with him."

"Yes. Yes, I did," Jennifer quietly mused.

"Am I gonna have to drag this out of you, Jen?"

"Maybe. I mean, even thinking of telling you makes it worse, but the thought of actually saying the words out loud makes me wonder how I could have ever let this happen."

"Oh, okay. Well, that clears everything up," Louise said with a smile that made Jennifer feel even worse.

"Wait. Did someone...were you..."

It took Jennifer a moment to understand what her friend was asking, and when she realized she was hinting around about having been harassed or assaulted, she shook her head and said, "No. Heavens no! Nothing like that."

Louise took another sip, set the cup down, then crossed her arms indicating she was done playing Twenty Questions.

"I kind of...met someone," Jennifer finally admitted.

Louise immediately sat up very straight, leaned toward her fellow nurse, then said, "Someone? Someone isn't very descriptive, hon."

"Sorry. It's the describing part that's causing me all of the confusion."

"Again, that didn't help," Louise told her, only with a sympathetic look.

Hoping to avoid the age issue altogether, Jennifer sighed loudly then tried to explain.

"I saw someone...with an urn."

"Oh, my Lord! You poor thing!" Louise said immediately as she put her hand on her friend's arm.

"I couldn't believe it at first. I mean, an urn? On the same day?"

"That had to stir up a lot of painful memories! Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry!"

"At first, yes. But that's not the real issue."

Jennifer looked away then looked back at Louise then said, "So I watched him for a little while then went up to introduce myself because, you know, of the connection."

"Well, of course. That's completely understandable. And?"

When Jennifer didn't say anything, Louise assumed he was scattering his late wife's ashes and asked if that was the case.

"No. It...it was his dog."

"Oh."

"It's a long story, but in a nutshell, he was in the Army and this dog, a German Shepherd, had been his service animal in Afghanistan. His name was Rocco. That's short for his full name—The Rock."

"Oh! I love me some Duane Johnson!" Louise told her before apologizing for saying something so trivial.

"It's fine. Really. I...I need a little levity."

"Okay, so...what's so serious about all this?"

"Well, we...we kind of...hit it off."

Now feeling confused herself, Louise asked for a little clarification.

"And...that's a bad thing?" she asked rather gingerly.

"No. Not at all. He's actually really nice," Jennifer offered.

When she looked away, Louise said, "He's handsome, isn't he?"

When she didn't answer or even look at her, Louise kept digging.

"Wait. You hit it off then found out he's married, huh?"

Jennifer blinked, shook her head slightly, then said, "What? Married? No! He's not married. He's never been married or even serious with someone."

Louise was a smart woman, and she knew there weren't a lot of men over 40 who'd never been married. Sure, they were out there. There just weren't too many of them, and good-looking men over 40 were rare indeed.

"How old is this nice, handsome man with whom you hit it off?" she asked directly.

"Oh, God," Jennifer replied.

"That young, huh?" Louise said, trying not to laugh.

"Oh, God," Jennifer said again. "No. God help me."

"Okay. He's obviously under 40. But the way you're acting, I'm wondering if he's..."

Jennifer felt sick to her stomach knowing her friend was going to say 'under 30'. But her actual response caused her to gag on the sip of coffee she'd just taken.

"Is he like...still in high school or something?"

After coughing and choking then catching her breath, Jennifer changed her reply slightly.

"Oh, my goodness! Louise! How could you even think that?"

"I just watched a movie about Mary Kay Letourneau. You know, the ex-teacher who had an affair with her 14-year old..."

"Okay! Stop!" Jennifer said, holding up a hand, a look of disgust on her face.

"Jeez. Sensitive much?" Louise said as she glanced at her watch.

"Saved by the bell, hon," she told Jennifer. "But you are going to have to tell me. You know that, right?"

Jennifer took one last sip then nodded.

"I know. But even a short reprieve is better than having to say it out loud."

"My, my, my. Someone has the hots for a handsome, younger man," Louise said teasingly as she stood up. "Some girls have all the luck."

"Luck. Yep. That's me. Lucky, old 42-year old me," Jennifer said as she got up, too.

"So he's over 21, right?" Louise said just before ducking just in case.

Had the cup been empty, Jennifer might have thrown at her friend. Instead she just glared at her.

"Okay. Fine. Tell me whenever you're ready then."

As they dropped their cups in the trashcan, Louise leaned over and said, "So is he? Over 21?"

"Oh, my... Yes! He's over 21, okay?" Jennifer replied, sounding a little too put out to be seriously upset.

Just before they got back to the nurses station, Louise said, "You know I'm happy for you, right? I mean, if you like this guy, and if he's as nice as you say, I think this is a good thing."

"Really?"

"I have to meet him to be sure, but...yeah. I know you're lonely, and I know you haven't had any luck in the dating world, so if serendipity or whatever brought you two together..."

Louise leaned close enough so that no one could hear then said, "And if he really is over 21..."

This second glaring look from Jennifer made her laugh, and that caused a couple of the other nurses to look over and one of them asked, "Okay. What's going on? You know we don't keep secrets around here!"

Louise shrugged her shoulders as though she had no idea, and Jennifer ignored their colleague.

"So how's Mr. Lee in 318?" she asked rather than answer the question.

"He's fine," the other woman replied.

"Good to know," Jennifer said as she got on a computer to check on his updated status.

"Must be a man. Only men can make a woman act like that," the other nurse said loudly enough for everyone to hear as she walked away.

"Oh, you got that right, honey!" a male nurse named Joel, who happened to be gay, said with a little extra 'gayness' in his voice.

As he walked by Jennifer, he quietly said, "You go, girl!"

The rest of the day dragged on as Jennifer did her best to focus on her work and keep her mind off of the 'over 21-year old guy' causing her so much internal consternation.

But when she got home to her empty place, she found herself even more upset by the fact that Nick hadn't called or texted her. He hadn't promised her he would, but after exchanging numbers with him, she felt certain he would.

Not hearing from him helped a little bit in the sense that it made Jennifer think perhaps he was more like other men than she'd assumed. It still hurt to think that the first man she'd actually gotten all 'hot and bothered' over was a jerk, but if that was true, it was better to find out now than later on. Or at least that what she told herself. Many, many times before falling asleep around 10 o'clock.

When she got out of bed the next morning, she again thought of Nick, but this time, she felt a twinge of anger and even a little resentment. It was immature, but she couldn't help it. And since there was still no text from him, she assumed she'd made a serious mistake in judgement.

"At least I didn't blab his age," she said to herself as kind of condolence.

Too busy to take a break at all that morning, Jennifer wasn't paying attention to anything but her patients when she heard a kind of ruckus at the nurse's desk. She finished with the patient she was attending then went out to see what was going on.

"Oh, my! Look at this!" she heard Joel say quite loudly.

"What? Look at what?" Jennifer asked.

He pointed to a huge bouquet of a dozen long-stemmed, red roses. He pulled out the card, looked at it, then turned it toward Jennifer.

"I believe those would be for you, honey. And I also believe they are from someone named...Nick?"

He leaned her way as dramatically as he could then said, "That is his name...right?"

Jennifer's heart rate went from 72 to 102 in an instant as she saw the other nurses taking turns sniffing and taking in the scent of the flowers and making all kind of inappropriate comments.

Louise walked up just in time to see everyone turn toward Jennifer.

"I bet I know who these are from!" she said as she held her arms out and glided around her friend.

The same female nurse who'd spoken the day before took the card from Joel and waited for Jennifer to take it.

"See? Right there. It says, 'To Jennifer. From Nick," her gay colleague pointed out with his manicured nails.

"Oooh! Nick, huh? Tell us about Nick!" the same woman said.

Jennifer snatched the card, raised her chin up high, then said, "I'll do no such thing!" causing everyone to laugh.

"Or you could just introduce me," a male voice said.

"Oh...my...GOD!" Joel said after turning around and connecting the voice to the man to whom it belonged.

"Hi there," Nick said to Jennifer who was so stunned she couldn't move.

She was so surprised she couldn't hear the giggling or the comments from the other nurses like, "Day-um!" or "That boy is fine!"

Or another that said, "Boy. You got that right!"

"Nick. Hi," Jennifer finally managed to say.

"I was in the neighborhood, and you said to stop by, so..."

Joel walked by, tilted his head toward Jennifer, then said to Nick, "You can stop by here—or my place—anytime, gorgeous!"

Nick laughed then looked back at Jennifer.

"If this is a bad time, I can..."

"No! Jennifer was just going on her break," Louise said, as she grabbed her friend's arm and led her over to Nick. "Right, Jen?"

"What?"

"Your break. It's time for your break."

"Oh. Oh, right," she replied, her heart still pounding in her chest.

"The cafeteria is that way," Louise told Nick as she sized him up—and down—several times. "Just make sure Jen gets back before too long, okay? She's looks like she might be a state of shock."

Completely lost, Nick thanked her then asked Jennifer if she'd like some coffee or a bite to eat.

"I...sure. Yes. I...I could use a cup of coffee," she replied as she began getting her bearings back.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I meant to, but I had something come up at my dad's place, and by the time I finished it was really late, and then I was at work all day then back at my dad's and..."

"Oh. That's fine. I...I was kind of busy myself and didn't really even notice," she told him no longer caring about that at all.

"I hope you liked the flowers," Nick told her as they walked.

Jennifer hadn't even had a chance to smell them yet, but she saw how beautiful they were and told him she loved them.

"It was probably a little much, huh?" he suggested.

"What? No. They...they're...wonderful."

"Thank you, but I can tell something's wrong. Wanna talk about it?"

Jennifer was having trouble explaining how she could be thinking about him nonstop and yet feel...embarrassed...when he showed up. In spite of his rather 'hot' reception, she couldn't help but feel everyone had noticed how young Nick was, and even worse, questioning her judgment for getting involved with someone that much younger than her. But...were they?

It only took her a couple of seconds to have those thoughts, but in the time they took, Nick answered his own question.

"I really should have called first. I can only imagine how me showing up like that unannounced might make you feel."

Now upset with herself yet again, this time for even having those kinds of thoughts, she tried to mitigate the damage, even though doing so meant telling another little white lie.

"No. Not at all. I was thrilled to see you, Nick."

That much was true. Some part of her was happy to see him. But the other part, the part that was nagging at her constantly, was making her feel guilty as though she was doing something wrong or even illegal. That, too, felt both rational and irrational.

He wanted to believe her words, but the expressions he'd seen on her face since he showed up told him otherwise.

"Okay," Nick replied as cheerfully as he could. "I'm really happy to see you, too."