Ferry Ride

They tried to make small talk, but Jennifer's obsession with being obsessed about other people's opinions was making it very difficult. They had a cup of coffee together, but something had changed so drastically that Nick, who didn't have another appointment until 1 o'clock, looked at his watch so he could say he needed to get going.

"Oh. Okay," Jennifer said in a way that made Nick feel she was relieved.

"Yeah. Busy day. I've got 'em stacked up back to back until 7pm," he told her. With the exception of this one lengthy break, what he'd just said was true. But white lies seemed to be the thing du jour, so Nick unknowingly followed suit and told one himself.

"I really am glad you stopped by, Nick," Jennifer said, still trying to lesson the impact of her less-than-enthusiastic welcome.

"Yeah. Me, too," he said before standing up.

Jennifer stood up, too, and as she looked at him, that small part of her that wasn't confused wanted nothing more than for Nick to kiss her goodbye so she could put her arms around him and hold him. Instead, she just stood there waiting for him to speak.

"So...I guess I'll uh, see you around then."

"Oh. Yes. See you around," the larger part of her replied.

"Well, you uh, you take care, okay?"

"I will," she told him. "You, too."

There was another awkward moment before Nick smiled a kind of plastic smile before saying, "I'll uh, I'll just be going then."

The 'two parts' of her body or soul suddenly went to war, and although the smaller part lost out, it nearly got out the words, "Please don't leave." Nearly.

As she watched Nick walk away, her stomach was in knots again, and she found herself on the verge of crying before a familiar voice came to her rescue.

"He's very handsome," she heard Louise say.

"Oh. Hi. Yes, he's very nice looking."

"And...young," her friend said.

Those words grabbed both ends of the rope in her stomach and pulled the knot so tight it hurt even worse.

"He's...we're just friends," Jennifer blurted out.

"Honey? I know you. I'm your best friend. And trust me, you are not just friends."

Those words cut just as deeply but in a very different way and in a very different place. When they sank in her heart felt ready to break.

"Is it that obvious?" Jennifer asked, almost relieved to know her big secret was out.

"Jen? Everyone who saw him—and your reaction when he walked in—knows it. And no one is thinking anything like you think they're thinking."

Even more relieved, Jennifer said, "You think?"

Louise laughed then told her there'd been one comment about 'robbing the cradle', but before she could say who said it, Louise told her it was Joel.

"And as soon as he said it, he said, 'And I can't blame her. I'd be stealing that baby out his crib myself if he played for my team!'"

And just like that, Jennifer's fears melted away. Not completely, but the only trace of the glacier that had been living inside her heart was a thin layer of frost.

"So...you don't think I'm crazy?" Jennifer asked as they headed back to work.

"Crazy? Are you kidding? No way! No, I will admit that my societally-driven prejudices about dating someone that much younger are rearing their ugly head, but I think most of that is from scenarios that really are wrong."

"Like Mary Kay Letourneau?" Jennifer asked with a smile.

"I wasn't going to say that," her friend replied with a laugh. "I thought it, but I was not going to say it."

"But isn't the fact that you thought it at least telling?"

"No. Not beyond our need to protect children. We can't allow that kind of thing for obvious reasons, but he's no Vili Fualaau."

When Louise saw the look on Jennifer's face, she said, "The boy. Her former student. You know, the one she's been married to since 2005 when she got out of prison?"

"Louise?" Jennifer said.

"Uh-huh?"

"You're not making this any easier."

Louise laughed again, then warned her dear friend there could be some teasing.

"But people only tease when they love someone and when it's not serious. If anyone had any real reservations, you'd be getting the skunk eye or the 'stank face' look, okay?"

As they approached the nurses station, Jennifer saw three of her peers standing there. When one of them noticed her approaching, the other two turned her way and smiled.

"Well, hello, hello!" Joel said, his hands on his hips and his head tilted to the side.

"Hello," Jennifer said back as she waited for the other shoe to drop.

"So did you have to turn him over your knee and burp him when you finished feeding him?" Joel asked in best, nasty gay voice.

"No, but someone else is about to get bent over my knee," she replied, trying not to laugh.

When the other two women laughed and said "Oooh!", Joel pretended to be hurt but said to Jennifer, "Oh. Touché, girl. Too-shay!"

One of the other nurses reached over and touched Jennifer's arm and said, "He seems really nice."

"And romantic," the other added as she nodded toward the bouquet of roses.

"And hot as hell!" Joel threw in for good measure.

After another round of laughter, Jennifer felt so at ease she temporarily forget how she'd given this nice, romantic, hot guy the cold shoulder, and that caused a cold chill to run through her.

"He's all those things and more," Jennifer thought to herself, "but because you made him feel like a child, he's never going to want to talk to you again."

She knew that wasn't necessarily true, but that thought haunted the rest of the day and all night until she fell asleep. When a week went by without having heard a word from Nick, she was convinced it really was true. And worst of all, she had no one to blame for it but herself.

A good two weeks since his visit had passed when Louise finally asked what she was going to do about it. They'd talked about what had happened and how Jennifer felt about it, but she'd been insistent that Nick needed to make the first move.

"If he doesn't call me then it just isn't meant to be," she told Louise.

Her friend tried to persuade her to take the first step herself, but no amount of reasoning changed her mind.

A month had slipped by when Jennifer realized how awful she really felt. It wasn't just that she was still alone or that each night alone was becoming more unbearable as time went on. It was more that she felt like she'd made the biggest mistake of her life by letting so much time pass without making her true feelings known.

And that's when the idea hit her.

The next morning, she made a call at 8am.

"Yes. Is the the garage place?" she asked.

The man on the other end chuckled then said, "I believe it is. How may I help you?"

"I...I was wondering if I could get someone to come by and took a look at my garage. You know, to see if it could be..."

Jennifer didn't even have a garage, and this new deception only added to her guilt. But her need to see Nick and explain was clouding her judgment so...

The man laughed again and assured her that could be done.

"I'll have one of our estimators stop by. What day works best for you?"

She was off on Friday which was three days away, so she asked if that was possible.

"It is. I'll make sure someone gets out there around 10am if that's okay."

"Um...sure. But...you said estimators. Plural. So you have more than one?" Jennifer asked in spite of how ridiculous that sounded.

A third laugh made her wince as the owner told her, "We just hired someone else. Business is really booming so we've had to expand."

"Oh. Sure. That...that makes a lot of sense," Jennifer said, now too afraid to ask for Nick by name until after she hung up, and that's when she started beating herself up—again—for making yet another colossal mistake.

Her only consolation was knowing she had a 50/50 chance that Nick would be the one to show up. But that also meant she had the same odds that he wouldn't.

By the time Thursday rolled around, Jennifer had worked seven straight days and was worn out. She went to bed early and slept soundly for nine straight hours for the first time in weeks. It had been quite some time since she woke up feeling that good, and after taking a shower she felt great—until she remembered her little ruse.

There was time for breakfast and another cup of coffee before she went back upstairs to blow dry her hair and change before the 'estimator' showed up. Jennifer wasn't sure what she was going to say if that person wasn't Nick, but all she could do was take one thing at a time.

Just before ten, she took a look at herself and hoped Nick would find her attractive enough to at least want to talk to her. Then again, if that was all she had to offer, maybe this whole thing was a terrible idea.

Jennifer hadn't worn a skirt in quite some time, and it had been even longer since she'd worn one this short. But along with a nice-looking sweater and a pair of heels, it was overkill in the extreme for a Friday morning at home. Unless, of course, she was hoping to catch someone's eye, and possibly even his heart.

A white van with the company logo pulled it right at 9:59, and when she saw it, Jennifer's heart began racing. She took another quick look in the small mirror in the foyer then went to open the door.

"Hi. Mrs. Dixon?" a man a little older than her asked.

"Oh. Yes," she replied, crestfallen and embarrassed.

"You did ask for an estimate, right?" the man asked with a pleasant smile.

"Yes. I...I did," she told him.

"I uh, I thought the address was an apartment building. Am I missing something here?" he asked.

The man stood there looking at her then asked if everything was okay. What he also said before she could answer only made her feel even worse.

"You look like you were expecting someone," he told her.

"Would you like to come in?" Jennifer asked, now at the point where she knew she had to fess up.

The man followed her to the living room where Jennifer asked him to have a seat then asked if he'd like something to drink.

"No thanks. I'm fine," the man said. "I can't say I'm not wishing I was the um...person...you were hoping to see, but I've had plenty of coffee already this morning."

Jennifer sat down then began trying to explain.

"Ah. Okay," the man said with a slight smile. "You were hoping to see Nick."

"Yes," Jennifer told him, unable to look him in the eye.

"I'd be happy to let him know," the man who's name tag said 'Arthur' on it told her.

"No. That's okay. I'm already so embarrassed I don't know what to say. I'm truly sorry for wasting your time, and if..."

"You didn't waste my time. I'm extremely thankful to have this job, and Nick is the reason I was hired. So I'm always on the lookout for any way to try and repay him."

"I had no idea," Jennifer said, knowing there was no one she could have known.

"Nick's an amazing guy. He recently lost the dog that he worked with in Afghanistan when he was in the Army, and I'd just lost mine. We were both looking for another one at a shelter when we started talking. I mentioned also losing my last job, and Nick told me his company was looking to hire someone. Anyway, he helped get an interview, and because of that, I'm now working full-time again."

"He really is a wonderful person," Jennifer said.

"May I tell you something else, Mrs. Dixon?" Arthur asked.

"If you'll call me Jennifer," she told him with the first smile since they met.

"Nick and I were talking a few days ago, and he mentioned the ferry ride where he scattered his dog's ashes. He told me about meeting a woman that was unlike anyone he'd ever met. He said she was kind, thoughtful, fun to be around, and well, gorgeous. I asked him if he was seeing that beautiful woman, and Nick told me 'no' because he'd blown it with her by showing up where she worked unannounced. He said he'd embarrassed her because he was so much younger. Now, you don't look that much older that Nick, but I'm getting the sense, based on what you've said, that the beautiful woman he liked so much might just be you."

"Nick said all that?" she asked, hoping she hadn't misunderstood.

"Yes. That plus how he'd give anything to go back and correct that mistake."

Suddenly, Jennifer felt hopeful.

"Arthur? Did you say you could call him?" she asked even as her heart began to race.

Arthur laughed then told her he could.

"He's actually only a couple of miles away, and depending on his schedule, he could probably stop by at some point. Would you like me to give him a call?"

Jennifer's first thought was not wanting to interrupt him while he was working, but after hearing what Arthur had just told her, the only thing that mattered was making things right.

"Would you?" she asked in a hopeful tone of voice.

"Hold on," he said with a smile as he pulled out his phone.

"Nick? Hey, it's Art. You got a second?"

There was a pause before Arthur spoke again. When he did, he stood up then said, "I have someone here who wants to talk to you."

He extended the phone to Jennifer who was shaking her head and mouthing, "No! No!"

But Arthur was having none of it and nearly put the phone in her hand.

Jennifer took it, raised it up then quietly said, "Nick?"

There was a pause and then she heard his voice.

"Jennifer?"

"Yes."

"I...I thought you were...aren't you..."

"Anxious to see you so I can explain?" she offered.

"So you're not mad or angry or...ashamed of me?" he asked.

Jennifer felt a lump in her throat growing tighter as tears welled up in her eyes.

"No. No to all of those things. Nick, I'm the one who blew it. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I...I even set up this appointment hoping you'd be the one to come to my house and..."

Nick cut her off in mid-sentence and said, "I'll be there in ten minutes, okay?"

The only word that came out was, "Okay," before she handed the phone back to Arthur.

He listened but the line was dead, and that made him chuckle.

"I believe that's my cue to scram," he told her.

"I really am sorry, Arthur."

"Don't be because I'm really happy. For both of you."

"So...you're not angry with me?" she asked as she made a little face indicating her concern.

"Mrs. Dix...Jennifer? With all due respect, you worry too much. Nick is crazy about you, and if this age thing is all that's keeping you two apart, you might want to try focusing on everything else you find so appealing about him."

Jennifer smiled and asked if he'd ever been a therapist.

Arthur laughed and told her he hadn't.

"Not even close. But I do have a wife I've married to for 18 years, and two great kids I dearly love, so maybe I've picked up a thing or two along the way."

He smiled as he spoke, and Jennifer was so happy she laughed. So happy, in fact, that she hugged him and thanked him sincerely.

"My pleasure. And...good luck!"

Just as Arthur was pulling away, Jennifer saw an identical vehicle pulling into the apartment complex. This time she knew who it was, and she didn't wait for the driver to get out. She didn't even bother checking herself out. She just flung the door open and ran out onto the sidewalk.

Nick shut the van off, opened his door, and the moment their eyes met, he ran to her.

Jennifer met him with open arms and began apologizing the moment he put his around her.

"No. Don't apologize. I'm just so happy to see you again."

Jennifer heard him, but his words didn't register as she continued explaining.

"I panicked. I...I let what I thought other people might think keep from seeing what I had."

She pulled away a little then quickly added, "Not that I HAD you or anything. I just meant that..."

Nick was smiling, and in order to get her to stop talking, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. Jennifer not only stopped talking, she pulled him close and kissed him back for several seconds before starting in again.

"Jennifer?" Nick said as he put a finger on her lips.

"Yes?" she asked as her eyes danced with his.

"Can you please stop talking?"

"Okay," she replied very quietly.

Nick put his arms around her again then said, "I haven't stopped thinking about you since the moment I left the hospital. I've wanted to call you a thousand times, but I was so sure you didn't want to see me again, so..."

"May I please talk?" she asked, cutting him off.

Nick smiled then told her, "Please."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you, either, Nick. Not an hour has gone by that I haven't kicked myself for being so...rude."

"You weren't rude, Jennifer. You were just confused."

"Yes. Yes, I was," she told him. "But...I'm not confused anymore."

"So does this mean you'd like to see me again?" Nick asked as though that might still be up in the air.

Jennifer smiled and said, "Yes. In fact, I'd love for to stay, but I know you're working so..."

"I'll be done at six o'clock," he told her.

"I could have dinner ready at seven," Jennifer informed him as her heart continued to race. "Would that be okay?"

"That sounds pretty amazing," Nick replied. "And you look amazing, by the way."

"I...I kind of overdid it, didn't I?"

Nick pulled away, took a look at her very fit body and the way the sweater hugged it and showed off its best parts, then shook his head.

"No. I don't think so. I'd say you got it just about right."

"So...I don't look like a desperate, middle-aged woman throwing herself at a handsome, younger man?" she asked, a smile on her pretty face, and her eyebrows raised high.

Nick pulled her close then said very seriously, "You look perfect to me, Jennifer Dixon. Absolutely perfect."

She was going to tell him the same thing when Nick kissed her again. They were still outside, but Jennifer didn't care who saw them or what anyone might think. And as their lips parted, she knew she was falling hard for this handsome, younger man.

"If you cook anywhere close to as good as you look, I may get fat," Nick playfully warned her.

"It would take more than a few pounds to scare me off," she told him just as playfully.

"In that case, I'll risk it."

Nick kissed her one more time then promised to be back right at seven.

As he moved away, Jennifer only reluctantly let his hand slide out of hers.

"Nick?" she said as he was walking down the porch.

"Yes?" he replied as he turned around and looked up at her.

There were so many things she wanted to say, but after a long pause, all that came out was, "See you tonight?"

"Yes, you will," he promised before getting back in the van and driving away.

When he returned later that evening, Nick was also wearing a sweater, but his was over a long-sleeved shirt. He wore jeans hoping they would be okay, and based on the way Jennifer met him at the door, it was obvious she was very pleased.

"Wow! You're even more handsome than I remembered," she said after kissing him hello.

"You mean since this morning?" Nick teased.

"No. Well, yes, but I meant since..."

She stopped talking, put her arms around him, and kissed him longer than they'd kissed before.

When it ended, she smiled and asked if that answered his question.

"Yes. Yes, it does," he told her as she took his hand and led him inside where something smelled almost as wonderful as Jennifer looked.

It was almost ten o'clock before either of them realized it. They'd talked non-stop the entire time, and yet neither of them could remember much of what had been said. It was just so wonderful to be together, and what they both realized was that being together was the one thing they wanted above all else.

"Nick?" Jennifer asked as he sat next to her on the couch with his arm around her.

"Uh-huh?"

"I came so close to...to ruining all of this, so..."

"Hey. I told you you didn't ruin anything," he gently reminded her.

"I just don't want to take the chance of actually ruining things. Now. Or...ever."