Fifty-First Way

[JAKE:] Sandy, I can't wait to see you in the morning. I miss you already.

She quickly texted back. '

[SANDY:] I'm walking on clouds right now. Wish you were here.

[JAKE:] Good nite, my friend (and you're so much more).

[SANDY:] Dream of me hugging you (and SO much more). Good night.

Jake smiled at her message and thought to himself, 'Damn, she knows how to get a guy's motor running.'

*****

Jake texted his boss that he needed the day off, got dressed, and went downstairs where he was sure Amber would be getting the coffee ready.

"Jake! Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Not perfect, but good enough to go to work."

She kissed him on the forehead and left to start her day. 'Interesting,' he thought. 'No kiss on the lips or words of love. That's new.'

Amber certainly surprised Jake with her betrayal. He thought he knew her and that she wasn't capable of such despicable behavior. But she couldn't mask her moods from him. He knew the subtle 'tells' that manifested themselves better than anyone else. He saw the whole story clearly in her eyes and the little twitch in the right edge of her lips. She was feeling guilty.

Amber's car was barely out of the parking lot when he texted Sandy that he was on his way. She only lived a few minutes away, but it still gave him time to consider his feelings for her as he drove to her place. He was irresistibly drawn to Sandy. He feared that the love and affection he was feeling for her was blown out of proportion because of Amber's betrayal. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that his feelings were strong and real. He was in love with Sandy. Nothing else could explain how, within sixteen hours, he went from loving Amber, to hating her, and now to feeling indifferent towards her.

Jake parked and almost skipped to Sandy's front door.

"Hi, beautiful!"

Before she could say a word, he embraced and kissed her. Their passion was strong like two lovers who had been separated for months. Sandy's heart raced and shivers of joy ran up and down her spine. Jake could feel the glow in his whole being as he tasted her lips and their tongues twirled and danced together. The smell of her hair was intoxicating—like fresh flowers in a Spring rain.

"Wow, Jake! That's the way I like to be greeted in the morning."

Jake chuckled for a moment. "Who else greets you that way?"

"That was a first, and I hope it will be followed by many more."

"Hungry?"

"For more of you? Yes. But I guess we should eat actual food. I assume you have the day somewhat planned out?"

They drove to a local diner for a quick breakfast before the meeting with the lawyer at nine. Jake couldn't stop looking at her eyes. They sparkled at him with an intensity he never witnessed from anyone else, including Amber.

The smells of coffee and bacon dominated the 'homey' atmosphere in the diner. Jake and Sandy held hands and chatted lightly before the food arrived. They both felt a sense of comfort in their touch and a feeling of warmth as their hearts were opened to each other. Without realizing that the other was thinking the same thing, Jake and Sandy dreamed that this would be the new path for both their lives.

The waitress was very friendly, but also very 'take charge' in the stereotypical way of so many diner waitresses. She interrupted their moment with plate after plate of eggs, bacon, home fries, sausage, scrapple, and toast.

"Holy cow, Jake. I didn't think we ordered this much food."

"I didn't know how hungry you were, but I never actually had dinner last night. It's all here to share, so dig in."

"Okaaay. While I do, can you run down the plans for today?"

"All right. First, we have a meeting with Alice Trumball at nine. She's the lawyer George recommended."

"Are you seeing her to just talk about possible courses of action?"

"No. That's set in my mind. I'm meeting her to initiate divorce proceedings."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, without a doubt. When I saw Amber this morning, I felt... I felt apathy. It surprised me. I expected to be angry or hateful. I still felt the hurt a bit, but I was almost overwhelmed with a sense of peace in that I really didn't care the same about her at all. Does that make sense?"

"Jake, I'm worried I may have come on too strong and too early. Are you sure the connection we've shared hasn't masked what you're really feeling?"

"I've thought about that. I don't think so. I think what has grown quickly between us has really expedited my feelings toward Amber to where they needed to go for me to find peace with her. The startling part for me is what that apathy means. Hate isn't the opposite of love, apathy is. I'll always value what Amber and I shared as friends, but I feel nothing for her as a wife or lover."

"So are you comfortable with us at this point?"

"I'm much more than comfortable. I'm excited about what is in store for us."

"Me too. Perhaps more than you can imagine."

"I'm not sure about that. I have a very active imagination."

"Okaaay. What's after the lawyer visit?"

"I got the home number for Amber's boyfriend from her teacher directory. I'd like to call his wife and then pay her a visit to tell her the truth. I'm hoping you're willing to go with me because you'd be in a better position to provide the comfort she may need."

"Yes, of course. I hope you're right that she should know. I think I agree with you, but there are people who would rather be kept in the dark."

"Ah, yes. The 'ostrich' approach to issues. Anyway, after that difficult conversation we have the whole afternoon to talk about how to confront Amber. But more importantly, I hope we can talk about us and spend some quality time with each other."

"You're not talking about 'clothing optional quality time,' are you?"

The smile on her face clearly told Jake that she was joking, but would also welcome that scenario.

"As much as I would like that, and I do mean really, really like that, I am still married for now and I can't bring myself to take us that far yet."

"I was hoping you'd say that because it confirms to me the kind of man you are, but my libido and strong attraction to you is fighting my sense of decency."

They both considered getting deeper into conversation on their relationship, but the time wasn't right. Instead, they finished their meal and drove to the lawyer's office.

Alice Trumball wasn't anything like Jake expected. He assumed she'd be a middle-aged battle-axe breathing the fire of justice for the wronged. Instead, she looked like a former cheerleader who was now in her thirties. She looked at Sandy with a lot of judgement in her eyes. She assumed Sandy was Jake's mistress and he was the one stepping out on the marriage, and Alice hated cheaters. She softened a great deal once she learned the truth and saw the evidence.

Jake's assumptions were correct about how the divorce would be drafted. A fifty percent split of joint savings had very little impact. The apartment was rented, so there was no equity to split. Their 401k's were individual and would remain with the contributor. It should be easy. Cut and dry. Jake had incentives in mind for Amber to get it signed quickly.

They left Alice's office at half-past ten and called Diane, Tony's wife. She was reluctant to see them, but eventually granted them permission to come right over. Driving to see her made Jake and Sandy both nervous for the first time that day. Things were about to get very real and personal for a young family.

"Hi, Diane. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice. This is my friend, Sandy."

"Come in. We can sit at the kitchen table. I've made some coffee."

"Thanks so much. That's very thoughtful."

Sandy and Jake sat at the table while Diane went to the kitchen counter to pour three cups. With her back to them, she got right to business.

"Jake, are you here to tell me that my husband is cheating?" She turned and carefully placed the cups in front of them both without looking up or directly at them.

"How did you know?"

"Unless you're trying to sell me something, that's the only reason I could think of for an unexpected visit from the husband of one of Tony's coworkers."

"Well, yes. He's having an affair with my wife."

Pointing at Sandy, Diane calmly asked, "And who is she, the one you're sleeping with?"

"No, just a close friend."

"You know they're both cheating, for sure?"

"Yeah. I saw them and I have pictures."

"Can I see?"

"Yeah, if you're sure you want to."

Jake showed her the images on his phone. Sandy watched her reaction closely. She could have sworn that Diane's eyes turned red with fire. Without warning, Diane threw her full cup of coffee towards the sink shattering it and staining the curtains on the window with its contents. She started pacing like a hungry tiger in a cage. Sandy squeezed Jake's hand and hoped the animal they released would leave them unharmed.

"That son-of-a-bitch. Damn him. Damn him! I'll cut his balls off and make him eat them over spaghetti. Damn, damn, damn...." The rant and expletives went on for several minutes. She went into a nearby room that looked like a den or office and came out with a stack of comic books all neatly wrapped in plastic. Jake could see that they were rare and collectable. Diane started ripping them to shreds. Colorful cartoon characters were turned into confetti as she threw pieces all over the room while she cursed Tony's heritage, threatened his anatomy, and poured contempt on everything else about her wayward husband.

Jake and Sandy expected Diane would cry into Sandy's shoulder and they'd leave a peaceful scene with a broken woman left behind. Instead, they sat nearly paralyzed by a madwoman's fit of terror, hoping they didn't become targets. Diane's rant continued.

"What'll I do? What the fu... I know." She grabbed her phone while explaining to her visitors her initial plan. "I'll call my brother. He works at Home Depot."

Jake and Sandy looked at each other with puzzled grins. If it wasn't so tragic, the scene before them started to look more like a sit-com.

"Moose? Listen, I need your help. You're not workin' today, right?"

Sandy and Jake could hear her brother's booming bass voice even without her phone being on speaker.

'No. I'm home.'

"Good. Tony's been cheating on me and I need your help."

'What? I'll be right over. I'm gonna beat the shit...'

"Wait... wait. I may want you to do just that, but for now could you stop and get new locks for my doors."

'Yeah, sure. You okay?'

"I will be. See ya soon, bro."

She disconnected the call and turned to her visitors.

"I know it was hard for you to come tell me this. What are you doing about your wife?"

"Divorcing her. I'm confronting her tonight. Please don't tip things off to your husband until this evening. I think they both need to be surprised."

"Don't worry. Tony will get a big surprise when he gets home. My brother will teach him a lesson for sure. I gotta call my mom to pick up the kids after school. They're not gonna see what happens here tonight. Oh, and text me copies of the pictures. Let me write down my cell number."

"We need to go, too. We all have a busy day ahead."

Jake and Sandy got into the car and burst into laughter.

"Your wife's co-cheater is not going to have a nice evening."

"Hell hath no fury... "

"I'll say. What's next on the agenda?"

"The bank to close out credit and empty half of the savings, and we can pick up some lunch."

"I'm not hungry yet after that big breakfast."

"Same for me. I thought we could pick up some sandwiches or hoagies and eat them later when we feel like it. I'm sure we'll want something before I face Amber."

"That sounds like a plan. Jake, I am in the mood for one thing."

"What?"

"I need a kiss."

Jake eagerly fulfilled her wish.

*****

With the banking done and hoagies in hand, Sandy and Jake walked into his home not long after noontime. The refrigerator door was barely closed before their lips locked in deep desire. Both wanted to forget everything else and run to the bedroom, but they both had the self-control required to act responsibly.

Jake retrieved two glasses with ice and a bottle of sparkling water so they could sit and talk. The new couple urgently wanted to explore their budding romance, but the confrontation needed to be planned first. They sat together on the couch as Sandy launched them into the subject.

"How do you see things going when Amber arrives home?"

"Your phrase for the 'fifty ways' song describes it perfectly. I want to introduce her to you, my new girl." With a huge grin he leaned over and kissed her again. "You are my new girl, right?"

"I think that's safe to assume. Are we doing anything when she comes in the door?"

Jake desperately tried to contain laughter, but he couldn't hold it back.

"What's so funny?"

Jake tried to contain himself so he could answer.

"I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed that it even crossed my mind."

"What?" Sandy was clearly amused as well.

"I don't want to say. I don't want to admit what entered my lude little brain."

"Oh, come on. You can't shock me."

"I don't want to offend you. I care too much."

"Okay, so I'll start guessing. When she comes in, you think we should both be naked."

"No, no. Okay. I'll tell you. Please don't get upset."

"All right. I promise."

"A thought ran through my sick mind that it would be fun if she caught us doing what I saw her doing to Tony when I first saw them together."

"What, making love?"

"No, a..."

"Oh. You mean me giving you head?" Sandy now couldn't contain her laughter.

"Are you mad?"

"No! Actually, it would be funny. Do you really want to?"

"Oh, Baby, how could a red-blooded guy say no, but I don't want to for several reasons."

"Okay. Just so you know for future reference, it's one of my most favorite things."

Jake kissed her deeply, then looked directly into her eyes.

"You're making it hard... let me rephrase." They both giggled at his unintended double entendre. "You're making it difficult for me to behave. But I have very good reasons why that would be a bad idea."

"I'm guessing you don't want to make it seem like your sinking to her level, or give her ammunition in the divorce."

"Those are the minor reasons. The big reason is that I am falling for you in a big way. With things moving so quickly, I'm not entirely trusting myself or my actions and I want to protect us both. I hope, I mean I really hope we become what I think we're becoming and we eventually make love. I don't want to cheapen it, especially for the first time. Doing an intimate act for revenge or for show is just wrong."

"I need to confess something, Jake. I love you. You don't have to say it in return right now considering the speed of our new relationship and especially under these circumstances, but I love you. I have for a long time, but I knew it could not be returned because you were married. I'd never come between a marriage. Since I've gotten to know you, every guy I've tried dating for the last year or two has had to measure up to you and none could. Last night I couldn't help myself coming after you even though you just had a shock. When that stupid song came on and everyone started making up new lines, I saw your face light up. We had already drawn close so I could try to make you feel better, but the feeling quickly changed to strong affection and I felt you returning the feelings. I waited for so long to show you how I felt. Once the door opened I ran through it as fast as I could."

"I'm glad you did. Everything that has happened feels right. Sure, I'm not happy that Amber disrespected me and our vows. But the way you make me feel puts it all in perspective and makes everything all right. So let me confess something. That first kiss in the pub's office sealed it for me. I felt more love and passion in that moment than I've ever felt in my life with Amber or anyone else. I laid in my bed last night and thought about that. I think Amber and I got married because it seemed logical. We were always close friends, and were very intimate with each other from the moment we both knew what intimacy meant. I love her as a friend. I now know love can be so much more because of you."

"Are you saying you love me, too?"

"I'm ninety percent sure. If it wasn't all happening so fast, I'd be two hundred percent sure if that were possible. When I say it, there will be no lingering doubts."

"I'm good with that. Now for the important stuff. What pet names are we going to use?"

"Well, I can't call you Babe, 'cause that's what I called Amber. Since we're talking about it anyway, can I call you Love?"

"Ooh, I like that. How 'bout I call you Sexy, or Stud, or maybe Sweet-cheeks. You do have a nice butt."

"You pick whatever you're comfortable with, Love. Actually, I may occasionally call you something else whenever I want a kiss."

"What's that?"

"Sugar-lips."

Their lips and tongues met in a wild ritual of passion. Onlookers would think they were trying to get inside each other's bodies as they passed the energy and pure desire between them. Jake gently pulled her onto his lap without breaking the oral bonding.

Finally, if for no other reason but to breathe for a few moments, their lips parted. They gazed into each other's eyes. Wordless expressions of extreme affection passed between them. Perhaps it should be called what it was. It was love.

"Sweet-cheeks?"

"Yes, Sugar-lips?"

"I think there's a massive flagpole growing below my butt."

"I don't know about massive, but things are getting moist for sure."

"I've got a flood of my own. How soon will the divorce papers be ready?"

"The lawyer is having them delivered midafternoon, which should be about now."

"So if she signs tonight, how soon can I get you into my bed?"

"As far as I'm concerned, once they're signed I'm free from the vows."

"If we keep sitting here making out, I don't think my self-control will last. About a hoagie?"

"That sounds like a good idea, and a much-needed distraction."

As they ate their late lunch, a knock on the door announced the arrival of the divorce documents. Jake looked them over and let Sandy read them as well as a courtesy. Everything was in order, so Jake signed and dated his signature block and Sandy signed as a witness.

About an hour before Amber would arrive home, Jake went into the spare bedroom that served as his home office to print the photos from his phone. Once the printing finished, everything was ready for the confrontation with Amber.

Back on the couch, Sandy sat in his lap again and the lovers embraced. She was nervous and could feel how tense Jake was becoming.

"Do you know what you're going to say?"

"Mostly, yes. This time yesterday my preparation included a lot of ranting, name-calling, cussing, and as much shaming as I could imagine. But now, with you in my arms, I just want to be firm and end it. She can't undo what she did, and I can't ever be with her again. I'll only threaten to shame her if she gives me grief about signing the divorce."

"Do you think she'll give you a hard time?"

"I would think so, at least at the beginning. We'll see. How it ends up for her is going to be up to her. For me, the fact is that I want you more than anything else this world can offer, and that makes everything okay as far as I'm concerned."

Sandy started kissing his neck and running her hand through his hair. Jake joined in similar acts of affection. The final moments before the confrontation were tender and loving. With every kiss and touch, Jake felt a calm resolve flood his mind and body. Within a few moments, this terrible chapter in his life would be over.

"Sandy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. I'm sure of it."