All Comments on 'Fifty Seven Fifty'

That's how much this shit story is worth

I thought they might hook up again but I didn't think they had conspired from the beginning. A bit long winded, if you wanted Tim to come across as an indecisive Hugh Grant type character you succeeded but I'm not a Hugh Grant fan. Still it's worth 3*

Just the first half page was so long winded I couldn't read further due to boredom.

Thoroughly enjoyed it! Although some previous comments complain that the content was too long-winded, I see it as fitting for the main characters narratives seeing as they are both non-American academics with college positions. Love the unexpected denouement where we discover the true nature of Candy/Anabel's relationship with Tim. Looking fwd to seeing more writing from you.

Good story...but why was he so nervous to confess to his wife, if he knew it was she who had planned all that night? And above all, if his female friend was just a friend why risc his marriage with the woman he loved so much? And if she really loved her traumatized cousin why risc to make her unhappy again?

In your effort to make the sex scenes clever or erotic your word usage simply made them feel strained. Did you have a thesaurus sitting next to you? His troubles at his stag were laughable. Most men that drunk don't even manage an erection. And the "Pink cuffs". They're toys. A man in his physical condition would have ripped the cheap stitching apart in no time at all. And the condoms and lipstick wouldn't have fooled anyone. A drunk guy getting it up 5 times? Don't make me laugh. So that whole scene felt contrived and simply didn't work. And you lost the entire story when you had his new wife reveal that she set him up. Not a good way to start a marriage - the wife not trusting him and setting up a "test" of his fidelity and the lying scumbag husband cheating from the get go. I think he either left her and filed for an annulment or one of the guys told Jessica (because of course, drunk guys peeked into the room) about hubby really screwing Candy and she filed for an annulment. In any case neither character was worth a damn. In the end this story simply wasn't clever or entertaining. No stars.

Boring boring boring!! Get to the point.

IMPO# hit the nail on the head. When an author has a character tell part (or all) of the story - First Person point-of-view (PoV) - the thoughts of that narrator are absolutely inviolate ... they are TRUE! The narrator may fib in a conversation with another character, but when they think to themselves, it IS what they think. Awkward. Hubby had NO reason to be nervous about his 'confession!'

the ending enraged me. What scumbags Tim and Annabel turned out to be! The depth of their betrayals of Jess is way more than I can stomach. For me, that ruined an otherwise fine story.

You almost have to be envious of a man with a beautiful talented wife and a younger and perhaps prettier girl on the side for some extra-marital sex. However, he needs to be extra careful so that his wife is never the wiser.

I don't think I turned down many chances back when I was "of a certain age" and some of those which I did turn down I later regretted. Get a grip, you sober people, it is just a story.

make sure they are strangers to both sides. TK U MLJ LV NV

I second Bd4554. Tim and Annabel are scumbags. When Jessica finds out it will kill her. Hope she takes them with her. 1 star because of the ending.

I third the sentiment. Jessica deserves so much better When she finds out, and cheating male or female whores are almost always found out, she should ruin them both. Their families should know everything. They deserve a slow painful death. One star because I cannot give less.

No need to spend mote words on this crap

just to help offset the 1 or no vote!!

For the read.

Such an angry reaction to Tim having a running relationship with Annabelle/Candy! What you'll find out in the sequel is that Jess IS Annabelle/Candy! And Tim's pet name for her when they're thumping the mattress is Sybil

In this chapter all three of the girls get drilled by the psychiatrist,and Tim fulfills his fantasy of having a fourway with his wife.

Why do you want the death of the slut wives? A slut ex wife helps to keep the fees of the prostitutes and escort girls in lower level. If the slut wives die the fees of the sex workers will increase!

..... he confessed to us,readers, that he is nothing more than a cheating asshole .

I just feel sorry for poor Jessie. She, somehow, seems to be destined to end up with scumbags, always.

The end totally ruined it for me.

Also, the 'being nervous' part was a plothole even bigger than the hole in Tim's character.

She really seems to have shit luck with men.

And what a "delightful" shitstain of a cousin.

If American David Oliver reads this he'll be pissed. He was the actual 2008 Olympic Bronze Medalist in the high hurdles.

what a bunch of assholes.

another faggoty brit cuck.

The story, him and the whore. Not worthy of 1* but it's the least I can give.

Jess deserves a better husband and cousin. Follow up needed.

wasn't expecting that.

so is jess fucking around too?

Story not really there for.me. Too long winded to stay invested in.

Did not think much of it... his friends and Annabelle committed several crimes for which they could be prosecuted; his wife had no justification in setting it up. And what was his wife doing in the two days at the Roman orgy thing and why was Annabelle back? The marriage is doomed from the beginning.

Uggh. Tim did not confess. He married Jess who is terrified of infidelity and does something stupid (to which she confesses) by setting her fiancee up for a temptation test. Yeah she has mental issues. But Tim is far worse. He entered there new marriage with a FWB and best friend relationship with Annabel. Feel sorry for Jess. And no there is no evidence that Jess is cheating. She is spending two days working on a TV crew for a historical documentary. Chill. Jess continues to be betrayed. If it had happened to me, I woukd have been pissed as hell and maybe even delayed or called off the wedding, but what he did is so much worse than what Jess did.

I live in the USA. I had a very difficult time making sense of the English colliolisms, slang and how it affected the plot structure.

I am NOT saying it's bad writing at all. Rather, owing to my lack understanding, many of these stories were so fractured I couldn't finish all but on of the four I read.

Sorry about that.

Two for the price of...oh heck, pocket change. A very intriguing matchmaker story with a sexy twist at the end. A well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading more of your work. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Well that was quite a different twist to this story, very well done, nice way you wrote it, character set was good, plot so well though out.

Well written with a twist but feel bad for Jess. Yes she did something out of fear regarding the temptation test but she confessed. But Tim and Annabel conspired to set up everything and continue their FWB relationship. I hope Jess learns the truth soon and finds a way to burn Tim and Annabel. There is zero signs that Jess is cheating. That is made up paranoia in certain readers' minds. Tim is the villain here. Jess is thr victim who did something stupid and in a normal situation might mean a huge argument l, maybe even a delay of the wedding or breaking things off, depending on the person. But with the twist, Tim and Annabel are shown to be scheming traitors. Only heart break lies ahead.

Completely unbelievable. Completely entertaining.

Feel bad for Jess. She is getting played and manipulated and cheated on. Tim is an asshole. Woukd have been different if it stopped when they got married. But after that. Uggh. No freaking way. 4 stars.