Fight from the Inside

She got up and stormed out of the room. Chris looked at me and said, "That was planned. I overheard her on the phone with Vanessa this evening. I didn't hear what Vanessa said, but they decided to call my bluff on the divorce threat."

I shook his offered hand and said, "This was never going to work for her. She was shut down and lied from the beginning. Both parties have to want it if counseling is to work."

"What should I do, Alex? I don't want to lose her."

"Well, if she's decided to call your bluff, show her you're not bluffing. I believe you won't come around to let her do this with Mark or anyone else. I can see it in your eyes that you're not built that way. If you start the divorce proceedings and she still goes through with it, it might be time to start focusing on yourself and how your life will be going forward without her."

"I don't know, Alex. I guess we'll know if she shows up next week. I'm kicking her out again. They already planned for that and she's going to stay with Vanessa this time."

I nodded. "Good luck, Chris. If it's any consolation, I didn't see any indication you did anything to deserve this. She's had this in her mind for a long time, as you already know."

He nodded and walked out. I wondered if I'd see them the following week. I suspected not.

*****

I hadn't received a cancellation from either of the Ashfords, so I wasn't too surprised when they walked into my office together for our next appointment.

Debbie looked nothing like she had in the weeks before. No makeup, no fancy clothes, and more interesting to me was she looked nervous as opposed to her normal cockiness.

Chris looked the same as ever and had I not known it, I wouldn't have thought their marriage was on the brink of disaster.

I waited for them to sit and asked, "So, how did the last week go? Debbie you were pretty adamant about having your fling with Mark and Chris was still against it."

She sighed, "My darling husband kicked me out again and had me served with divorce papers that night."

I thought that was pretty quick service and noted he must've had them on alert to do the delivery.

"What happened then?" I asked.

"I don't want a divorce," she almost whispered.

Before I could stop him, Chris blurted, "Then keep your legs closed."

"Grow up," she groaned.

"Okay, let's pull it back a bit. Debbie, you can see Chris isn't budging on this. Why do you keep pressing the matter?" I asked.

"You're supposed to tell him it's okay. You're supposed to tell him it changes nothing with our relationship. You're supposed to be on my side."

I shook my head, "I'm not on anyone's side, Debbie. Look at it this way though. Say you sign a contract for buying a house. You agree on a price, you agree on a date, you agree on what stays in the house and what goes. Your marriage is like that contract. You agreed before you married to be faithful and exclusive with each other. Then the seller decides they want to change the deal."

"I'm not changing anything," she moaned.

"Sure, you are. You agreed to be faithful to Chris. To only be with Chris for the rest of your lives. You're changing that agreement by bringing in Mark. Granted, you negotiated first, but that negotiation failed. You're fighting a fight you already lost."

She looked away and sniffed back a tear.

"Debbie, every day that goes by, you are adding small fractures to your marriage bond. Someday soon, and maybe it's happened already, those fractures will cause that bond to crumble. Chris is trying to save the marriage and you're pushing against him."

"Ask her what she did last Friday." Chris said. Debbie's head spun so fast I thought she'd got whiplash.

I frowned. "Debbie?"

"I went out for drinks after work. I had a rough day after being served divorce papers."

"This is bullshit. She still can't be honest. I'm out of here."

Chris stood and walked out of my office. I asked him not to go and even followed him to the elevator, but he held his ground. I couldn't believe Debbie thought that man would ever change his mind.

When I walked back into my office, Debbie was crying.

I sat down and handed her a box of tissues.

"You went out with Mark, didn't you?" I asked.

"No. I went out with friends from work, but he was there with us."

"Debbie, it seems to me that you're dead set on committing marital suicide. Why is that? Is there something that Chris did to drive you to this?"

"I didn't know he would be there."

I thought she meant Mark. But...

"I didn't think he would follow me after serving me divorce papers."

I shook my head.

"Debbie, I'm a couples' counselor. After our meetings, I feel you need individual therapy. You have a compulsion to either destroy your marriage or hurt Chris beyond repair or you just don't care if that happens as long as you get what you feel you need. I believe you when you say you don't believe that's what you're doing, but it is. Frankly, I can't believe Chris is still trying to work it out and stay with you."

She glared at me but didn't argue.

I continued, "That man must love you beyond my comprehension. To think that you would continue to try to hurt him only leads me to the conclusion that you're suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. You need to seek someone to help you through it with specialized psycho-therapy. I'll give you a referral."

*****

Two months went by, and I hadn't heard from the Ashfords. I wondered what became of them and felt the urge to follow up, but I decided against it. Curiosity killed cats not counselors.

I was looking over my appointments for the day when I saw I had an appointment with them. I shook my head in disbelief. I hoped Debbie got therapy and I further hoped she didn't have her fling. I suspected not, as Chris wouldn't have stood for it.

I was on pins and needles and the day dragged like you wouldn't believe as I waited for the Ashford's appointment. I watched the clock like a hawk. I rushed two couples that were running over out. I was shocked at my obscene level of anticipation.

And then it was time.

Debbie walked in first followed by Chris. They plopped wordlessly into their regular chairs and looked depressed.

"Chris, Debbie, it's nice to see you again. How have things been?"

Chris snickered and Debbie sighed. She said, "We'd like to continue working on our marriage."

"Well, when we last saw each other, I was of the opinion that your marriage couldn't be fixed. You were showing self-destructive behavior and I recommended individual therapy."

Chris smirked. "Oh, she is doing the therapy."

"Good. What happened with the Mark situation?" I asked.

Chris laughed. "I decided to intervene. Mark won't be bothering her anymore and Vanessa won't be filling her head with nonsense either."

Debbie was crying, but not sobbing.

"Debbie?"

"He beat Mark up. He told him that he would keep doing it until he stopped talking to me. Mark is so scared; he leaves the room if I walk into it. It's been an issue at work."

"Chris, what made you take that drastic step?"

"Oh, when she was staying with Vanessa and still trying to convince me not to divorce her, that's still going forward by the way, she kept going to lunch with the asshole. I just got lucky one day and went to the same sandwich shop they were at. You should have seen the look on her face when I walked up to her table. I wished to God I had a camera."

"How did the fight start?" I asked.

"Oh, there was no fight. I walked up behind him and said, 'Hi, Mark.' She was so shocked she didn't warn him. I knew it was him when he responded, and I dragged him off the picnic bench where they were sitting and started stomping on him. I must've got twenty kicks in before my leg got tired."

"Were you arrested?" I asked.

"Nope. I told Mark--after I spat on him--that if I were arrested, I'd come to his house when I was out on bail and do it again. He got a case of the smarts and didn't call the cops. My loving wife over here didn't say a word the whole time."

"Debbie?" I said after I watched her reaction to his statement.

"Hm? Whatever. He showed up at work the next day and told Mark in front of the whole bank to leave me alone."

Chris smirked, "It felt pretty good. I should've done it earlier. Now she'll have to find a new boyfriend."

"For Christ's sake, he wasn't my boyfriend."

"Well," I said, "Thankfully, you never consummated that relationship."

Chris laughed. "Do you know what I found out from that slut Vanessa?"

"My darling wife, wasn't so innocent. It turned out that this Mark prick wouldn't fuck her until she got me to say okay. He wanted me to be something called a cuckold. I had to google that. He wanted me to have sloppy seconds and eat his filth out of her willingly. Do you believe that shit? He was the one that wouldn't screw her because of his fetish. Amazing, isn't it. That's why the divorce hasn't been stopped."

"Vanessa told you that?" I asked, afraid of how he got that information out of her.

"Yep. That was another thing I should have done earlier. I showed up on her doorstep one day and told her that I wanted to know why she was trying to break up my marriage. I thought I'd have to threaten her or something, but that bitch just talked and talked. You know what? She hates when women are happily married. She told me she broke up over twenty marriages. Do you believe that crap?"

Not much shocks me, but that did. I asked, "Debbie, tell me about your progress in individual therapy, if you're comfortable with that in front of Chris."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, I suppose. We've been working on understanding and managing my triggers and defenses. I'm learning new limits and incorporating changes to my behavior."

I smirked; her answer was right out of a therapy workbook. At least she was paying attention, perhaps even taking it seriously.

"Good. Chris? Where do you see your marriage in six months?"

He laughed, "Over."

Debbie started crying again.

"Chris, why did you agree to come back then?" I asked.

"I didn't. Did you know, in our state, judges can make us do mandatory counseling?"

I did, and Chris handed me a sheet of paper. it was the judge's order for ten sessions.

"I see. Well, as you already know, in order to have any chance of successful counseling, you need to be open and honest with me and each other."

They both laughed. Chris said, "Yeah, we know the rules."

We went through the same things that we hashed over in our first sessions. It was repetitive and I felt like we were spinning wheels. The slight difference was that Debbie was acknowledging her plan was doomed from the start.

Chris wasn't shut down, but we were going through the motions. He knew he had to sit in that chair for ten weeks, and he would live up to that. He wasn't going to do much more, however. I gave him a referral for his own individual therapy. He had some anger issues he needed to work out.

Just as before, I wondered if their marriage would survive.

I finally asked what may have been the most important question of their marriage.

"When was the last time you were intimate?"

Chris laughed. "Three months ago. I won't touch her."

Debbie sighed. "I've done everything to try to get him into bed and make love to me. He won't touch me."

I nodded. "When was the last time you kissed?"

Debbie groaned, "He won't kiss me either"

I made some notes, mostly just to stall and leave that thought hang in the air. I wanted to see Chris's real reaction to that. I wasn't disappointed. He looked sad, not smug, or angry.

"Chris," I started, "if we can find a way to save your marriage over the next ten weeks, are you good with that?"

He snickered. "You can't save my marriage, man. She killed it."

"Chris, will you promise to do what I ask and put a true effort into it? You loved her once, and I'm sure you still do. A love like yours doesn't just die."

He groaned. "Okay. I'll try."

I fought my smirk. "Chris take Debbie's hand and look her in the eye."

She smiled and extended her hand. He rolled his eyes but accepted it.

"Now, Chris, kiss your wife on the lips."

"Hey," he protested.

"Hang on. I didn't say make out with her or stick your tongue down her throat. Give your wife a peck on the lips."

Debbie smiled and leaned forward with puckered lips. Chris sighed and pecked her lips.

"Okay. Did that hurt?" I asked. It was one of my favorite exercises. I didn't use it on everyone. Just the ones that had a chance. Even a small chance. I knew Chris loved her, and with Debbie getting help for her issues, I thought they may just make it.

I was amazed at Debbie's reaction. It was the first intimate action with her husband in months and she was beyond happy. I would say, based on the flush on her cheeks and how she squeezed her legs, she was turned on. From a small, quick peck. Wow.

"Okay," I said. "That's enough for today. I'm going to give you homework though."

"Seriously?" Chris groaned.

I nodded. "You're still living together?" I asked. I should have asked that before, but I was losing my professionalism in their case. I'd have to work on that.

"Not really," Debbie frowned.

"I'm staying with my brother," Chris added.

"Okay. Chris you said you were committed, to try at least, to make this work. I want you to move back home. I want you to sleep in the same bed too, okay?"

"Come on," he groaned.

"Chris, you can't fix your marriage living apart," I countered.

"Fine," he sighed. Debbie grinned. I thought of the old Bill Murray movie, and the adage that came from it, baby steps.

"Okay. Chris, move back in this weekend, and then I want you to kiss each other goodbye every morning, and good night, every night. Just pecks. You don't have to make out or anything. Well, unless you want to."

Debbie laughed; Chris rolled his eyes. He didn't object though. I knew he wouldn't. No man that loved his partner as much as he did could stop that easily. His pride and ego needed some support. His baser instincts needed validation, but still he needed to be assured that loving her was okay and didn't mean that he was weak. He would have to accept that she wanted to cheat on him, but never did, and it was gonna be a hard pill to swallow. It was the only way they could move forward.

*****

Six weeks later, they were close. They were to the point where they were making out and heavy petting. The problem was Chris. He stopped short of making love to Debbie. He suddenly began to feel he was inadequate in some way. Debbie tried to assure him that he wasn't, but in his mind, he wasn't enough for her.

It made sense from a certain point of view. Why would she want to go elsewhere if he were enough? That was a hard hurdle to overcome. I'd have to work hard to help them find an answer for that.

It was the next week when we hit an epiphany. When they walked into my office they were holding hands and smiling.

"Well, this is a great sight," I said with a genuine smile. "Fill me in, please."

Chris plopped into the chair and moaned, "She raped me."

I dumbly said, "Uh..."

"I didn't rape him. Well, not much. He had morning wood, and just I climbed on. It sort of opened the floodgates, no pun intended. We've been like newlyweds ever since."

I looked at Chris who couldn't hold back a smile. "Well, that's certainly an unorthodox way of getting back into the swing of things," I said bemused. I had never seen the like. I knew he was bluffing his way through some of the divorce process, but towards the end there, I was worried that they wouldn't work it out.

"I'm not 100% back into marital bliss here," Chris said with the first look of a frown forming.

"Granted, but you're intimate again, and not just sex. You're holding hands and looked happy when you came in," I posited.

"Yeah," he shrugged.

Debbie chimed in with, "It wasn't all wine and roses this week. I had to sign the divorce papers for him to agree to treat me like his wife again."

"Huh?" I asked. I wondered how the heck that worked.

Chris smiled widely, "Well, it's like this. I had to figure out a way that I could trust her without looking over her shoulder all the time. I figured if I had a set of signed papers sitting with my lawyer, she'd have more incentive not to fool around on me."

"Debbie, do you think that will be enough?" I asked.

"Well, I figured that plus my therapy would help a lot."

I looked at Chris and he smirked. "I look at it this way, Doc. I already threw her out when she got her case of the stupids. If it works out? Great. If not? I haven't lost anything I didn't already throw away."

I couldn't reconcile that logic, but if it worked for him, so be it. I ended up seeing them for another month. They were still moving forward in a positive and loving way, so when we last met, I wished them well and told them if they ever needed a tune-up session or two, to give me a call.

They never did.