by lalachick159
Hmm let me sort my thoughts.
1. Liam is an omega born from an Alpha Chief.
2. The one who died is his (mom) not the alpha dad. That's why there are no other heirs.
3. Since there are no heir apparent, the next alpha would be the mate of the Alpha Chief's omega son.
4. Normally, omegas would find their Alter Fatali from a mate search tournament.
5. But this Alpha Chief's Omega was already promised to another Alpha Candidate (so the tournament would jist be for show)
6. Now, Logan is contesting that as he would want to claim his fated Omega in the tournament, as he's also an Alpha candidate.
I know when Logan told his croonies that Liam Was the Alpha's son, the following few sentences were about Liam being the alpha's only heir before he died, and how his omega status warranted an alpha search. Sooooo....how come he's now alive and well....and secretly promising his son to a douche?
What is meant by the alpha and omega references? Only got a couple of paragraphs in and totally confused.
I'm totally not into gey stuff - I have no idea how I ended up here - but this is a REALLY intense story... and the Mpreg thing makes zero sense, but seriously, you're doing a great job, keep up the good work!
I've been on this site for years reading all sorts of different stories. While I don't like that the name you've chosen is identical to the name of another character in another story, I CAN'T wait to read the next chapter. Please I've been checking every day since I read the first chapter.
Anyways here is an avid reader saying you're doing great and that I look forward to the next chapter!
This is great!!! Please don't stop the story! But you know I not off of RobCubs story! Just saying!
I really enjoyed the first chapter but agree that you really need to change Colton’s name. Colton Butler is synonymous with The timberlack chronicals. Apart from that I look forward to the next chapter
I have to lodge a major complaint that the “alpha’s” name is Colton Butler... I had to go back and re-read the very beginning to make sure this wasn’t a fan fiction! If you are as you say a long time reader, first time poster you can’t have missed the Timberpack Chronicles...
The story itself has promise, but I seriously suggest getting an editor or some beta readers to help you along. Once I got over the name thing and was able to read this as a new story, it was good, held my interest and even made me want more. Definitely look for an editor or do as was previously mentioned and wait and reread before posting so you yourself can catch some of the grammatical errors, all in all I say it’s a good start!
I like the idea of the story, but as many before me have stated you need an editor.
I will suggest you don't post right away when you're done writing, but rather wait a day or two then read it again before posting it. That way you can correct many mistakes yourself. Or you can copy (from where you write, maybe on your phone etc) and paste it on Microsoft Word and you'll see many errors you can correct.
Please continue writing. Don't be discouraged. We know you're just doing this as a hobby, but we just want to help you improve your work.
I liked the concept and typos aside it feels rushed for a part 1. You're trying to explain too much of the omega alpha pack sub genre and that could be done more gently?
But great idea.
CB
Ok so. I am,super against you using a well known wolf name like Colton butler. Seriously??
The story is fun. You need an editor like immediately. So very many misspelled and misused words.
I hope your omega gets to make his own choices.
Very good start. I'm definitely interested in reading more. I would suggest getting an editor or someone to polish, but other than that it was an enjoyable read. I can't wait to see what happens when Liam's heat comes.
Great start; hope you keep going. There are some spelling errors that are distracting (using quite when you mean quiet, as one example). But overall a good read. Looking forward to the next chapter.
This has everything I love in a story!! I cannot wait for part 2!