Filling the Void

"Cynthia, I know we said we were just going to meet for a drink," Laurel began, "but we seem to be getting along so well I was wondering..."

"We do seem to be hitting it off, don't we?" Cynthia interrupted, the inflection in her voice reflecting her surprise at the fact, a nuance Laurel couldn't help but catch.

"So, I was wondering, if you don't have any other plans, you might like to make a actual evening of it," Laurel continued, encourage by Cynthia's positive response. "There's a really nice Italian restaurant just a few blocks away, or if you don't like Italian we could..."

"Laurel," Cynthia said, this time raising her hand to pause the conversation. "I'm afraid I already have plans for the evening. Before you called this afternoon, someone else from last night had already asked me out to dinner," she added. "Since you said you just wanted to have a drink, I really didn't see a problem. I hope you're not offended."

"No, of course not," Laurel said, thinking that it should've been obvious that Cynthia had some place else to go by the way she was dressed. Did she really think she got all made up just to meet her for a drink? "Well, how about tomorrow night then, or perhaps Saturday?" she added.

"You know, now that we've actually had a chance to talk, I think you're quite nice," Cynthia said, sidestepping the question.

"But?" Laurel interjected, having heard the unspoken word in her reply.

"Well, to be honest," the blonde replied after a momentary hesitation, "since you didn't mark off my name on your list originally, I really didn't expect meeting for a drink was going to be anything but perfunctory."

"I guess I deserve that," Laurel admitted, "but now that we know it doesn't have to be, we could..."

The look on Cynthia's face caused Laurel to pause, feeling that the woman across from her had something to say. And it turned out that she certainly did.

"I have to say my one real reservation about the whole speed dating thing was the fact that I've never been the sort that dates more than one woman at a time," Cynthia pointed out. "When I signed up for it, I thought I could put that aside, but now that it's actually happening, I find that I really can't. To already plan to go out with a second woman before I've even gone out with the first feels like I'm already assuming that first date is not going to lead to a second - that it's already going to fail, so to speak. I know that probably sounds silly, but that's how I feel."

"That doesn't sound silly at all," Laurel smiled, thinking that she couldn't imagine herself going to that extreme, but had to respect that Cynthia felt that way.

"I'm glad you understand," Cynthia smiled, glancing down at her watch and, noting the time, saying that she had to go. In order to simplify matters, she explained, she had agreed to meet her date in front of the hotel.

"Well, you have a good time," Laurel offered, realizing even as she said it how hollow the sentiment sounded, trying to make a joke of it by adding that if things didn't work out, well, she had her number.

Cynthia thanked her with a smile, then rose from the table and headed for the door. As she watched her walk away, Laurel cursed herself getting carried away by Natalie. It could've been her that Cynthia was having dinner with.

'I wonder what Georgia is doing tonight?' Laurel heard herself ask, then shuddered at the thought.

Dropping a bill onto the table that would cover the drinks as well as an appropriate tip, Laurel got up and headed out of the bar. She could see Cynthia through the double-glass door, waiting outside the front entrance, so she decided to use the side door instead. Before she could do so, however, she saw a red vintage corvette pull up right in front of the hygienist and the driver get out and come around to open the passenger door for her.

"I don't fuckin' believe it," Laurel said under her breath, "They weren't even matched up last night."

While it was true that both had indeed drawn white pads at the event, moving them from table to table, nothing had prevented Tamara from simply walking up to the woman who caught her eye after the program ended and engaging her in conversation. In half the time of an 'official date', she'd convinced Cynthia to accept her invitation to dinner.

Watching them pull away from the curb, Laurel now doubted she'd be getting a call back from Tamara.

-=-=-=-=-

Over the course of the next two weeks, Laurel buried herself in her work, which wasn't hard since two of the other girls in the office had called in sick. No further calls had come her way and she wondered if things had worked out for Cynthia and Tamara. Part of her hoped they had. She'd never been the sort that wanted success as the result of others' misfortune.

-=-=-=-=-

"All right already, hold on," Laurel cried out, wrapping the towel around her, as if the person on the other end of the ringing cell phone could somehow know they had called while she was in the shower.

Pushing back her still wet hair, Laurel hit the accept button on her phone, as she sat down on the end of the couch. With no match in her personal directory, the phone displayed an unknown number, and Laurel silently promised herself that if that was some telemarketer, she was really going to rip them a new one.

"Hello?" Laurel asked.

"Laurel?" the vaguely familiar but still unidentified female voice said.

"Speaking," Laurel replied, remembered a few marketeering calls that had started with people acting like they were someone that you knew.

"Laurel, hi," the voice said, "it's Natalie, Natalie Takashima."

"Natalie?" Laurel repeated, her voice reflecting the surprise she felt.

"Yes," Natalie said, her voice causing Laurel to remember the warmth of her smile, "from Round Robin a few weeks back. I hope you remember me."

"Of course," Laurel replied, not wanting to say that it was hardly possible that she didn't. "I'm just surprised to hear from you, that's all."

"I didn't call at a bad time, did I?" Natalie asked.

"No, not at all," Laurel replied, tossing aside her displeasure at being interrupted in the shower.

"Good," Natalie replied. "Well, let me get right to the point. If you remember, I was doing a feature story on the whole speed dating phenomenon, and now that you've had time to judge the experience, I was wondering if you might be willing to sit and answer a few questions about it. It would all be under a pseudonym of course."

'She's calling me because of the story?' Laurel thought, feeling a bit disappointed. A long moment passed as she digested that.

"Laurel, are you still there?" she heard Natalie say over the receiver.

"I'm still here," Laurel answered. "I was just thinking that I'm not really one of the people you want to talk to. The whole speed dating thing really didn't work out too well for me."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Natalie replied, "but I still would like to talk to you. My story wouldn't be any good if I only presented one side of it."

"I don't know..." Laurel said.

"Look at it this way, it's a free dinner on the Register at the restaurant of your choice," Natalie quickly added, leading Laurel to think that was an approach that had led to success with other callers.

'What the hell, why not?' Laurel thought, proving that a free meal was indeed a powerful enticement. She told Natalie that she would be happy to.

"Great, so what day would be good for you?" Natalie asked.

They quickly worked out a day and time for the interview and as Laurel disconnected the call, a small smile filled her face.

'Well, even if it's only for an interview for her story, at least I'll get a chance to see her again,' she thought as she headed back into the bedroom to finish dressing. 'At least that's something.'

-=-=-=-=-

The dinner interview was scheduled for the following Thursday night and, true to form, Laurel was running behind schedule. She barely had time to stop off at the apartment and change out of her work clothes and into a grey, short sleeved blouse and jeans. The seafood restaurant she had picked was only a few blocks from home, so that made up some of her delay, allowing her to arrive only ten minutes late.

When Laurel arrived at the restaurant, she found Natalie, dressed equally casual in a black sleeveless, ruffled top and tan slacks, waiting outside. She hoped she hadn't been doing so too long.

"I'm so sorry," Laurel said, her tone apologetic, "things got a little crazy at the end of the day at work and..."

"No need to apologize," Natalie smiled, "we've all been there. You're here now and that's what's important."

Laurel was glad to hear that and she returned Natalie's smile.

"Well, shall we go inside?" Natalie asked, the question purely rhetorical as she turned and took a step toward the entranceway.

Laurel followed a heartbeat later, but not before taking note of the way Natalie's ass filled her slacks. A low, wistful sigh spilled from her lips as she regretted this wasn't a real date.

It was still relatively early, so they didn't have to wait for a table, and once they were seated their waiter, whose nametag identified him as John, was at their side, asking if they would like anything from the bar.

"I think a glass of white wine would be nice," Natalie said, turning her attention from the waiter to Laurel.

"Make that two," Laurel echoed.

"Would you like to get the interview out of the way first so we can enjoy our dinner," Natalie asked as the young man walked off, "or would you rather eat first?"

"Well, they do say, business before pleasure," Laurel smiled.

"Okay, this shouldn't take too long," Natalie replied, taking out a steno pad on which Laurel could see a list of questions already on it.

Before Natalie could ask the first question, their drinks arrived and the server asked if they were ready to order. Natalie said she already knew what she wanted, but since Laurel had just arrived, perhaps she might need a few more minutes to go over the menu.

"Not at all," Laurel smiled, having know what she wanted even before she walked through the door. "I'll have the Lobster Tail Delight," she said.

"Very good," John said as he jotted down the order on his own pad. "And you, Ma'am?" he asked, turning his attention to Natalie.

"You know, that sounds a lot better that what I was going to order," she laughed softly, "so why don't you make that two?"

Laurel felt a bit of relief in hearing Natalie order the same entrée that she had. Probably the most expensive item on the menu, it was something that she never would've considered if she didn't know the newspaper was picking up the tab. Certainly it wasn't the sort of thing she would order if this had been a real date, at least not until well into a relationship - and even then only on a very special occasion.

Once John moved off to place their orders, Natalie went right into reporter mode and began asking her questions. Laurel quickly discovered that Natalie was able to make you relax quite easily, so much so that you quickly forgot that this was an interview. More a conversation than an cross-examination, it was over just as John returned with their appetizers.

"That's it?" Laurel asked as Natalie closed her pad and began to put it away.

"I got everything I needed," Natalie smiled. "So now we can sit back and enjoy our dinner."

"That would've taken, what, five, maybe ten minutes on the phone?" Laurel noted.

"That's about right," Natalie replied, "at least, that's how long it took for most of my interviews."

"You mean not everyone got taken out to dinner?" Laurel asked.

"My boss is generous, but not that generous," Natalie laughed. "He said I could take an interviewee out to dinner only if I thought they were interesting enough to be essential to the story."

"So other than me, how many other people were essential?" Laurel asked as she took a taste of the stuffed mushrooms in front of her.

"Actually none," Natalie grinned.

That, brought an even broader smile to Laurel's face.

-=-=-=-=-

Conversation over dinner began innocuously enough, starting with how good the meal was and then progressing to shared memories of their home town and people they knew in common. It was just after Laurel had mentioned one girl in particular that Natalie abruptly stopped talking. Laurel waiting a moment then asked if something was wrong.

'Laurel, I owe you an apology," Natalie unexpectedly said.

"Whatever for?" Laurel asked, not able to think of anything that required an apology.

"That night at Round Robin," Natalie said, "I wasn't exactly honest when I said I didn't remember you."

"No big deal," Laurel replied, "after all, it's been a long time since high school. I'm lucky if I could remember half the people I knew if I ran into them today. At least not right away."

"That's just the point," Natalie interrupted. "I didn't remember you later on. I knew who you were the minute I sat down."

"I don't understand."

"You were my first crush," Natalie said, going right to the point.

"I was what?" Laurel said, sure that she'd heard her wrong.

"You were the first girl that ever made me go weak at my knees," Natalie confessed. "The one that finally made me realize just how different I was from my friends."

"Fuck me!" Laurel said, in a voice loud enough to be heard at the adjacent table.

One of the two older women at that table made a disapproving remark over Laurel's exclamation, but a quick, hard look in her direction instantly dispelled her interest. The brief distraction gave the younger woman a few precious seconds to digest the revelation.

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked, still unable to believe it as she turned her attention back to Natalie.

"Because I was a coward," Natalie replied, a bit of embarrassment in her voice. "I was too afraid of being publicly labeled a dyke to even be seen talking to you. I was too afraid of losing everything that I had."

"Natalie, you weren't a coward," Laurel said with a reassuring smile. "You just weren't ready, that's all. And trust me, you were hardly the only girl who didn't want to come out of the closet. There were at least nine other girls like that at RFK, one of whom was even sort of my girlfriend for a while - and I never thought the less of her."

"Nine?" Natalie said, surprised by the number.

"Well, ten, now that I can include you," Laurel laughed.

That made Natalie laugh as well.

"All that matters is that you came out on your own terms and that you're happy with it now," Laurel added. "You are happy, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Good."

They ate in silence for a bit, then Natalie shared a thought that popped into her head.

"I just thought of an eleventh name, but I'm not sure if she really fits on your list," she said.

"She was at RFK?" Laurel asked.

"Yes, but..."

"Then she qualifies," Laurel laughed.

"I probably shouldn't have said it," Natalie said, obviously having second thoughts.

"Oh come on, it was years ago," Laurel replied, "and for all you know, she's probably already on my list."

"I don't think so," Natalie said.

"She was your first, wasn't she?"

Natalie nodded.

"Now I just have to know," Laurel said, her tone just a bit more than half serious.

"You have to promise never to tell anyone else," Natalie said.

"It doesn't leave this table," Laurel promised, her curiosity now really aroused.

"Beverly Cannon," Natalie said, the relief in her voice giving credibility to the thought that this was the first time she'd ever said that name to anyone.

A blank look filled Laurel's face. The name didn't register at all. Regardless of what she had said before, she didn't think there was a girl at RFK that she couldn't remember, at least by name. But try as she could, the name Beverly Cannon just drew a blank.

Long seconds passed as she again reviewed names from her high school days, then a look of first shock and then recollection filled her face.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed, this time not caring if anyone else heard her. "Beverly Cannon," she repeated.

It took Natalie a moment, but she slowly nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"You slept with one of the teachers?" Laurel asked, her voice dropping to a near whisper.

Natalie again nodded.

"That is unbelievable," Laurel gushed. "I am so envious."

"Actually, it was after graduation," Natalie pointed out, "so technically she wasn't one of my teachers at the time."

"I don't care about technicalities," Laurel replied. "Gay or straight, that has to be just about every student's fantasy."

Once she had placed the name in its proper perspective, Laurel had little trouble closing her eyes and filling her mind with the image of the then twenty-five year old English teacher. Five nine with shoulder length blonde hair, the curvaceous educator had a build that made just about every male student at RFK stand to attention. Now that she remembered Miss Cannon, Laurel also recalled the how scandalized the school administration had been to find her name on the top of a secret student poll, entitled the teacher they'd most like to fuck. Laurel hadn't been polled on the question, of course, but if she had been, Beverly Cannon certainly would've gotten her vote.

"Okay, like I promised, that name stays at this table," Laurel said as she reopened her eyes, "but before I put it behind us, I just want to know if it was a one time thing, or did it happen more than once?"

"We were lovers all summer until I went away to college," Natalie answered. "When I came home from spring break later that year, I found out she'd transferred to an out of state school."

"Wow," Laurel said. "Like I said, I'll never say that name again, but I can't promise I won't ever think about it."

"Fair enough," Natalie smiled. "And since I've told you mine, it's only fair you tell me yours - who was your first?"

"Penelope Baxter," Laurel said without hesitation."

Natalie didn't have Laurel's almost encyclopedic recollection of all the girls from their common high school, but she hardly needed it to recognize that name. In fact, she doubted there was anyone in town who wouldn't.

"The mayor's daughter?" Natalie asked, even though she didn't have any doubt that was who Laurel was referring to.

"Oh yeah," Laurel said with a grin.

"I never would've imagined," Natalie said.

"Trust me, if you'd ever met Penelope, it wouldn't have taken much imagination," Laurel laughed. "By the time I came out, the number of girls Penelope had shared her charms with was already coming up on double digits. Why do you think the Mayor shipped her off to that European boarding school halfway through Senior Year? Of course, sending her off to an all girls school was hardly a punishment - that was why she was so willing to pack up and go."

Now it was Natalie's turn to say wow.

The rest of their dinner conversation proved to be a mixture of things both interesting and not so much. Much too soon, however, the last course had been cleared away and the waiter was placing the check in front of Natalie.

"Are you sure you're not going to get in trouble for that?" Laurel asked when she saw the total at the bottom of the bill. "I could pay part of it if you want."

"Don't be ridiculous, that's what expense accounts are for," Natalie laughed as she added a generous tip under the total and handed both the bill and her credit card back to their server.

While they waited for him to return with the receipt, Natalie noted a sad look on Laurel's face and inquired as to the cause.

"I guess I'm just sorry to see the night end," Laurel said with a half shrug.

"Are you really?" Natalie asked in reply, just as the waiter returned.

"I've really enjoyed talking to you, and was hoping that maybe we could see each other sometime," Laurel added.