Final Fling

'But you were too late?'

'Yes. Just then, one hand went round my neck and pulled me in for a sloppy kiss. And the other shoved a finger up my arse! My pussy gripped him and I came like a train; so did he! I'm not kidding; I've never had so much cum in me. I could feel it coating my insides and flooding out. It soaked us both. Felt like he hasn't had sex for a year!'

'Good job you always change your underwear then. Is Mark there by the way?'

'Yes, but he isn't in the room. I just heard him going upstairs. Anyway, I lifted myself off Howard, grabbed my thong from my handbag, and wiped most of the sperm off my pussy and thighs. I had to take off the stockings and wipe myself with them as well! Mark would be suspicious if I wanted a shower after a girls' night. Howard said how about cleaning him up too, so I did.'

'Dirty bitch!'

'Guilty as charged. I licked it off his cock and balls. And as I was sucking the last few drops off his dick, he managed a last little goodbye spurt down my throat!' Then he said next week he's going to ram his length up my shitter, and fill my bowels with jism!'

'Last of the true poets!'

'I know. He's disgusting! But once I'm I in the thong and stockings, I'm disgusting too!

'So, what's the plan for next week?'

'I may have to pay for a hotel. I need to be comfortable if he's having all three holes! I don't want to do it in a car.'

'I'm not fussed. I'll settle for a few more fucks with Micky before I marry Geoff. You should try a black one too.'

'Not that simple now is it? I really fancied a black man. But when the guys approached, Micky made a beeline for you. Must have been those tits! So I'm stuck with his tutor. OK, he's got a big cock, and I'm looking forward to him having my arse, but black guys are more exotic. And I can hardly tell Howard to get lost so I can fuck one of his students.'

'You told me before you want to try double penetration.' said Claire. 'How about I call Howard and tell him we want to swap? You can do your double first, while I watch. And if you can take Micky's length up your arse, then I will too.'

'Really?'

'Sure. What are friends for?'

'Wow, but don't ask Howard; tell him. If he wants my arse, that's how it has to be. There's one more thing.'

'Go on.'

'We need more time, so we should skip the Vintner and get to a hotel early. I'll tell Mark, we're having a night out farther away, so I'll be home later. A hotel will be essential. I'll need a shower before we go.'

This was worse than I'd thought. Wendy had always been dirty in bed when she wore sexy undies. But now she'd already indulged outside our marriage. I didn't know her any more. I had to act quickly before she booked a hotel.

I got home before her on Monday, but did not start dinner. I told her my news as soon as she got in.

"The company's sending me on a seminar, babe. It's up in Nottingham, Thursday overnight, back Friday evening."

"Oh no, you'll miss your pool match!"

"Yes. I haven't cooked anything. Do you fancy fish and chips?"

"Yeah, great - no peas, lots of vinegar."

I needed to give her plenty of time with Claire, so I hung around outside the chippy. If things didn't go as planned, I'd have to claim my trip had been cancelled.

"Sorry I'm a bit late, big queue."

"No problem. I just called Claire and suggested we switch our night out to the Thursday you're away. Then you and I can get together Friday."

"Great idea babe!"

I stayed up after Wendy had gone to bed, claiming I had to find some paperwork for the seminar. And the phone revealed its taped secrets. First she called Claire, told her about my seminar, and instructed her to inform Howard of the change to Thursday. Ten minutes later there was a reply.

'Can you tallk?'

'No problem, Mark's still down the chippy.'

'Good. I told Howard about swapping. He likes the idea and he'll enjoy doing the double.'

'Wonderful! So I get filled with cocks -- one black and one white - before I come off the pill! God, I can't wait! I'd better buy an extra bottle of anal lubricant!'

'Well. I've done the double in the past. It's the most awesome feeling! You've never lived till you've staggered around with cum running out of both holes! But I'm warning you Wendy: you may think your arse can accommodate Micky, but I doubt you can fit him up there.'

'Don't put money on it; I want them to keep changing places. I intend to have the full length of Micky's monster all the way in till it hits my kidneys!'

'Here's an idea.' she continued. 'Get an old sheet or something and tuck it round the duvet. Then we can have an orgy on your bed without leaving wet spots.'

There could be no forgiveness. Kids or no kids, Wendy would eventually want to try this sort of thing again. Wednesday lunchtime I visited a shop that sold fancy dress costumes and joke stuff. I bought two items. After dinner, I told her I had to go and see a mate about helping out with her car. But I went straight to Claire's.

"Mark! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, of course."

We sat in the living room and the colour drained from her face, when I played part of the tape.

'We did it one of the stalls. It's true what they say about blacks, he's huge! My pussy's red raw and I've done nothing but pee all morning!'

"Do you want Geoff to hear this?"

"No!"

"Well, if you do as I say, he won't. Telephone Howard and tell him there's a change of plan. He's to drop Micky off at The Mash Tun at six thirty. He must leave his car there and walk down to my house; say Wendy wants an anal quickie with him to loosen her up. He must knock on the side door, and you and Micky will be along in fifteen minutes."

She did it immediately, and I heard him agree.

"Now call Wendy and tell her Howard will get there about six thirty and will want a quarter of an hour up her shitter before you and Micky arrive. He wants her thoroughly lubed up, and wearing black stockings only."

To her credit, Claire did an excellent job.

"You will go to the pub at six twenty. Once Micky arrives, keep him there till I turn up. Agreed?"

"OK."

"If you let on to Wendy about this, Geoff gets the tape."

"OK."

"Now get your knickers off and bend over."

Thursday morning at last; Wendy was up first. In the top cupboard of one of her wardrobes, I found the old sheet, ready to serve its purpose in the orgy. I tucked one of my purchases into the folds.

"I thought you might like a bigger breakfast sweetie - fuel for your long drive."

"It's only a couple of hours, but thanks."

I didn't think I'd have much appetite, but soon finished. I put my overnight bag in the company car. Tucked inside was my second purchase. Plus an old black sweater used for tinkering around the garage.

"I'll miss you." she complained.

"It's only one night; I'll be back tomorrow evening"

"I know, but you've never been away before."

"You and Claire, be good now!"

I knocked off work early, and parked one street away from The Mash Tun. I took my bag in with me.

"Don't usually see you in here this early Mark." said Greg.

"Just getting some practise in while the pool room's empty." I said.

"You do know it's an away match tonight."

"I do. But I've stepped down to let some new guy try out. I've been crap recently."

"Fair enough. You'll be undisturbed for hours. It's dead in here when the team's away."

"I'll go and pot a few then."

After a light pub meal, I went into the deserted pool room and set up the balls, and knocked them around for a while. At six fifteen, I went through for another pint.

"So this horse walks into a bar and asks for a pint." I said. "And the barman says 'Why the long face?'"

For a horrible moment, I thought it had gone over his head. Then he laughed. Not my best one-liner, but I might need him to recall where I was after six. As I went back to the pool room, Claire arrived. I pulled my old sweater on, and slipped out to the beer garden. On the towpath, I stood behind some bushes and surveyed the carpark. Soon Howard pulled in; a BMW. College tutors must do well. As soon as Micky unfolded himself from the car, I ran to my house.

Quietly letting myself in the front, I could hear Wendy in the kitchen. I peeped through; she was naked except for stockings, as ordered, and opening a bottle of wine. She dropped the cork, and when she bent to pick it up, gave me a good view of her well-lubed arsehole. I slipped into the study and left the door ajar a crack. Neither of us use the front hall except to pick up the post. There's a trolley there, holding nothing more than a small cactus.

Two minutes later, there was a tap on the side door. I heard it open, followed by "Wow! Let's get started now!" There was the sound of Howard and Wendy going upstairs. The bedroom door closed.

I stood in the hall and pulled on my joke mask; a hood that came below my chin, lightweight fake leather, with the eyeholes and pointed ears of Batman. I suppose, with my reputation, I should have chosen The Joker. There was a scream. Christ she was loud! A few sobs and it went quiet. That would be the other joke item.

You'd think finding a black mamba in a folded sheet, would make a person stop and think: 'Did my joking husband put it there? Has he found out what the sheet is for?' But no, even though she quickly realised it was made of rubber, she stuck to her guns. It must be the thought of Micky's black mamba up her arse.

I gave them a few minutes so Howard could get undressed. It didn't matter whether he got his dick in her or not really, I was never going there again. I opened our front door and banged it hard against the wall, and kicked the stupid trolley over. I was behind the study door again by the time Wendy got to the bottom of the stairs. She was in her stockings and clutching a bath towel around her.

"Hello? Who's there?"

She leapt nimbly over the fallen trolley and looked out of the door. No neighbours to stare at her stockinged state; not yet anyway. Her landing on the cactus was a bonus. As she winced and bent forward to pick it off one foot, I stepped behind her and ripped the towel from her grasp. Then, before she could turn and see me, I kicked her out; my final contact with her arse! As she staggered onto her hands and knees, I slammed the door shut. She never saw me.

There was no way that she could have any keys, but I double locked the door anyway. I dropped the towel and walked to the side door, locked that, and pocketed the key. Then I went quietly up the stairs. I walked into the main bedroom and saw Howard, by the window, looking down. He was naked and holding his trousers in front of him. I could hear her shouting "Let me in!"

Not realising there was anyone else in the house, he was galvanised into action. He spun round to face the bedroom door, only spotting Batman when standing on one foot, putting his trousers on. I laughed out loud as he hopped; Wendy had been hopping too. I heard her run to the side door and bang on that. I took him by the arm and pulled him, hopping like an idiot, onto the landing.

"Who? What ...?"

I wasn't in the mood to answer trick questions, and dragged him to the top of the stairs. Moving behind him, I squatted and pulled at the bottoms of his trousers. This caused him to lose his balance and he headed off down the stairs; literally head first. I was left standing there, holding the poor man's trousers. I threw them into the bedroom. I'd recently fitted a new stair carpet, and I didn't relish it getting covered with blood. So I was quite pleased when Howard only bounced off three stairs on his way to the bottom. Oh, and he smashed against the bannister in one place.

I followed him down, more sedately, removing the Batman mask on the way. He was lying peacefully on his side, dressed in only his boxers. They were bunched up by his ankles, and any erection he'd managed was long gone. He was unconscious, and had blood oozing from a broken jaw. I lifted his head up by the hair, and stared at him. He looked ridiculous - naked men often do, especially when wearing crumpled underwear and one sock. Now he knew what happens to people who fuck my wife. Though actually, he knew nothing at all. Once the pool of blood pool started to congeal, I went back to retrieve my snake, and stuffed it in my pocket with the mask. I stood at the back door and inserted the key. Then, shouted: 'Front door, now!' and heard Wendy run round. I wished I could have seen her. I unlocked, stepped out, relocked, and pocketed the key. Then I jogged back up the towpath.

Behind the pub was a big metal skip. I stuffed the evidence into the sweater and tied it up by the sleeves. In it went. That felt much better, it was far too warm for an extra sweater. Are you happy now Wendy? I've finally thrown it out. The pool room was still deserted. I went through to the bar and nodded to Greg. Claire and Mickey were sitting at a table, looking uncomfortable.

"OK, you two; get into the carpark. Leave your drinks."

"Micky, you came to my country to further your education. You fucked this woman who has a boyfriend. And today you were about to fuck another man's wife. Now, unless you want to be deported, fuck off back to college and never come into town again."

He left. I turned to Claire,

"You - go home and do not speak to my wife for a week. I can still give Geoff the evidence. If Wendy pressures you, tell her you can't see or speak to her till I say so."

As she left, I heard the police sirens and went back in, finished my pint.

'Greg. A guy walks into a pub and asks 'How do I get to the Royal College of Music?' The landlord says 'Practice!'"

"What are you doing home Mark?"

Wendy was a mix of hysteria and relief. A police officer had given her a blanket. What do they do? Carry them round in squad cars?

"Strange question; I live here. What are you doing outside with your bits on show?"

The police crowded round the door. One of them was carrying a battering ram; they call it the big red key.

"You said you were away on a seminar."

"What kind of answer is that? I'll ask again. Why are you out in only stockings? Our neighbours are getting an eyeful!"

"Excuse me, sir." One of the plods interrupted. "Do you have a key? We believe there may be someone inside."

"What - Claire?"

"The key please sir."

I handed him mine and he went to the front door.

"Seminar? When did my company ever have seminars? I left early and stopped off for a beer."

I looked at the nearest officer.

"Only one!"

"Is there a side door key? I think this is double locked."

The side door was opened and it all got a bit chaotic; an ambulance came and went.

I didn't go to the station with Wendy; I was entitled to be pissed off, finding a bloke on the floor downstairs, with his trousers up in my bedroom. By the time she got home, about ten thirty, I'd packed her clothes and dumped them in the garage. A copy of the pre-nup was on the table, under a small tape recording. She looked odd with a stocking on one foot, and a bandage on the other. She glanced at the cassette.

"We need to talk." I said. "But I'll just finish watching this film first."