Finally

"Inside I still feel like the 23-year old that wanted to be your fuck toy," she said, her eyes a little wild and a little lost.

We have a long often tumultuous history, Aurora and I. We've spent as much time being enemies as we have being friends and only in the last few years have we been able to stand to be in the presence of each other.

Six or seven years ago, we had a very strong attraction and Aurora first presented the idea to her boyfriend at the time that she wanted their relationship to be open and more specifically, that she had an interest in me. Admittedly at the time I wasn't sure how I felt about polyamory and the situation imploded spectacularly when (I learned much later on) her boyfriend gave his permission to her and then told me something entirely different. I felt betrayed and misled by Aurora, particularly because her boyfriend was a friend. He gave me the impression that she'd been dishonest and I was furious with her about it. She got the impression that I'd just played a game to see if I could get her to do it and she hated me too.

New Orleans is a small place and when you have the same circle of friends, it can feel even smaller. There was a palpable tension in the air after that and we couldn't stand to be around each other. We were all in a performance art group together; I stopped showing up when I knew she'd be there and eventually I quit altogether. When we were forced to be in the same room on some social occasion, the animosity was obvious and one or the other of us would find a reason to leave as soon as possible.

A few years ago while I was back visiting New Orleans, we ran into each other and agreed to have a talk. It was then that we discovered that we both had been misled by the same person and that we'd wasted years loathing each other because of it. Even after figuring it out, the truth was harder to hang on to than the years of mistrust were. There was still a sense of danger in talking to her and we kept a respectable distance while we decided if there was any ground solid enough for us to move forward on. I didn't always mention to her that I was coming to town on some of my previous trips to New Orleans and I only told her last-minute that I'd be there on that particular one, feeling that maybe it was time to really put the past behind us.

She messaged me on Facebook days before my trip and we added each other as friends, eventually trading phone numbers so we could text instead. She offered me a lift from the airport, but I declined, not sure I was ready to see her wanting to be back in New Orleans for at least a few days before I did. It wasn't until the day before I supposed to leave that we finally made plans to see one another and even then I wasn't sure entirely what to expect.

We agreed to meet for lunch at a Mona's on Frenchman street and I took something of a farewell walk through the French Quarter on my way to see her. It was hot outside, even with the overcast skies, and I could smell the rain looming somewhere in the distance. I hadn't seen her in almost two years when I spotted her through the window, standing close to the door. Her hair was shorter than when I'd seen her last and it had vibrant pink streaks, unlike the honey blonde it'd been when we met. Being face to face with her the familiar feeling of warning crept up on me but it was accompanied by fascination, which I hadn't let myself feel for her in years.

She was wearing a yellow shirt that hung long enough to nearly eclipse her tiny shorts and red cowboy boots; sometimes I forget she was born and raised in a swampy outpost of New Orleans and the way that she was dressed reminded me that she is in fact a truely southern woman.

Aurora is a curious mixture of brash and vulnerable; she rarely holds back when speaking to me, even if she makes herself blush with the things that come out of her mouth.

She often looks at me with equal parts want and contempt and I enjoy it. The look on her face when she saw me though the window seemed determined, though I was unsure what of just then.

We took a seat at a far table and quickly found the playful tone of the conversation that we'd shared in the past. There was a hint of trepidation behind it all, but also a feeling like things had changed, become unstuck and could (finally) move forward. We were deciding to trust each other as we sat there, even if it hadn't yet proven wise to do so. We started to flirt a bit and then she rolled her eyes at me as if she didn't yet believe that I meant it.

"This is going to be like all those other times when you get me turned on and then don't do anything, isn't it?" she said, and I laughed because we do have a long (unintentional) history of sexual tension without payoff.

I studied her face, trying to decide if she just wanted to know that I would fuck her or if she felt she was in danger of wanting to fuck me and not getting what she wanted. She didn't give me time to come toa conclusion.

"Want a lift to the airport?" she offered, changing the subject.

I accepted and we hugged goodbye when we left the restaurant. I had a feeling that she had something more she needed to say and that I would hear about it in the car. We agreed to meet at the friend's apartment that I was staying at because I needed to pack up and say goodbye to them; a few hours later she came and got me, earlier than I expected and before I really needed to leave.

She picked me up in her SUV and announced that we had a bit of time to kill, asking me where to go. I knew she already had a plan so I put the decision on her and we headed to the small shotgun apartment she lived in. There really wasn't that much extra time before my flight, but I agreed to it, wanting to see how things would play out.

We pulled up in front of her place and sat inside the car for a moment when she told me we didn't have time for games today and invited me inside. She was forward and also uncertain and I hadn't decided myself just then how far I was willing to let things go.

She seemed nervous and a bit out of sorts as she led me inside, apologizing for the mess. She kicked off her boots and walked across the floor in mismatched socks, her shirt nearly hiding her tiny shorts and giving the impression that she'd already started to undress. She stopped in the middle of the room and faced me; I put my arms around her and all those times we almost kissed but didn't were behind us.

I pulled her shirt over her head and we kissed again as I unhooked her bra with one hand and pushed her back on the bed. She looked up at me as I took off her shorts and ran my fingers over the soft black panties that were beneath them.

"This bed has plenty of places to tie me to. You can punish me if you want..." she offered, turning over on her stomach as though she had given the idea thought on more than one occasion.

I gave her cute little ass a swat and then rubbed the spot, doing the same to the other side before running my fingers between her legs. The room was quiet other than the sound of my hand on her ass and the little breathless moans that escaped her lips when it happened.

We'd waited so long to be able to finally sleep together that when it happened, it felt surreal. Sometimes we were gentle and sometimes we were rough, but the entire time we were fucking you could feel the seven years of waiting spilling out into the room around us.

**

"You'll smell like sex on the plane," she said, smiling proudly at herself.

We'd spent more time than I'd expected and I was running late getting to the airport. We got dressed and got back into the car, a calm over us now: the sort which can only be felt when you've broken a long-standing tension. We talked on the way to the airport and she candidly told me that she didn't have any expectations and didn't see this going anywhere. I wasn't sure exactly how I felt about that sentiment, but I realized she was also still feeling in over her head; she had to reconcile the past with what had happened in order to believe in today, let alone any ideas about tomorrow.

"I felt like I was outside of myself when you followed me in. Then you were touching my face and I was back and you were really there. I had this idea in my head of you for so long but I think I really saw you then". she said, turning to look at me with a little smile.

"How do you feel about that?" I asked.

"This is better"

We passed the rest of the trip talking about trivial things and circling back sometimes to the misunderstanding that had driven us apart before. We both seemed bent on making sure that never happened again and we spoke very candidly about it all.

"If they don't let you on the plane, let me know", she said when I climbed out of her car to go into the airport.

I watched her pull away and felt like the trip that I was ending was not the same one that I'd started.

I passed through the stormy air into the terminal and went to check-in for my flight. Past security and at my gate I found out that my flight was delayed and several further delays later I knew I'd never make my connecting flight. The airline rebooked me for very early the next morning and I grabbed a cab back into the quarter, texting Aurora on the way.

She invited me to a cookout and I met her beforehand at a wine tasting in a neighborhood wine shop where she sat sipping with her friend Sonia. We all walked together around the corner to the Marigny house of her friend John and I found myself among mostly strangers (something that doesn't happen to me often in New Orleans). I had the strangest feeling that I was living in secret as I spent the extra evening in the city without having told anyone. The fact that Aurora and I only just reconnected and how things had changed in the course of a single day me feel even more like I'd slipped though time.

We ate dinner together lounging on a deep leather sofa shoulder to shoulder, catching up on the years that we'd lost while not talking to one another. Aurora's friends eyed us, trying to figure out what the dynamic was; we answered their questions, which stopped coming after she kissed me while we were standing in the kitchen.

"No making out in my house" John jokingly scolded as he walked out past us.

It was all very surreal to me and not at all how I expected to spend my evening. We said goodnight to them after a couple of hours and walked with Sonia the few blocks back to her house, which is next door to Aurora's. It was dark and the night was warm and they talked about Sonia's boyfriend's band as we made our way down the uneven, broken streets. Aurora invited me in when we got to her door and we said goodnight to Sonia.

I took a seat as Aurora crossed the room, kicking off her boots on her way to the bedoom to drop her things. From the next room, she asked me what sort of music I felt like. I told her I'd been listening to 'Wet' a lot lately, so she put on 'You're the best' and came back to where I was sitting.

"This sounds like music you fuck ,to" she said, coming over to lean back against me as we both sat on the chaise lounge. We talked for a while as I held her against me and it felt like we were finally both occupying the same moment

We moved into the bedroom and laid down on her bed, wrapping up in each other again. I ran my hands over her legs slowly while holding her in my arms, bringing my hand closer, closer, closer with each pass as she closed her eyes. When my fingers found their way between her legs for a brief moment, she was already so wet; she pulled herself back into the present to give me a pleading look.

"You're evil!" she said, smiling.

"Aren't I though?" I responded. "I could do this all night"

"I can't," she said, pulling off my clothes.

She ran her fingers over my body, which responded instantly to her touch and took my cock in her mouth, slowly moving down it as far as she could, wrapping her two hands around the rest of it. She twisted and licked and was as painfully, teasingly slow with me as I'd been with her, looking me in the eyes as she did so.

I rolled over on top of her, pinning her hands over her head as she tilted her hips up to rub her wet pussy against the tip of my cock, which hovered hard and close, but just out of reach. I lowered myself slowly until she was able to slide her self up and down teasingly along the length of my cock, testing my ability to hold back until it was gone and I gave her what we both wanted.

She was tight and tiny and determined, but I had to hold back with her, so I didn't hurt her any more than she wanted to be hurt. I rocked my hips and pressed my lips to her neck as she gripped me with her knees and her body shook when she came. Still inside of her, I let go of her wrists and rolled onto my back, pulling her on top of me, where she laid her head against my chest and caught her breath. I could feel her heart beating in her chest, feel the deep pulls of air into her lungs and smell the summer on her skin and in her hair.

Slowly she started rocking her hips again and in minutes she was grinding herself needily against my cock again. I pinned her arms behind her and took a handful of her hair, pressing her into my chest and she came again as soon as she felt pinned, held, close after all of those years of wanting and needing.

"I want you to make you come" she said, when she caught her breath again.

I turned her over onto her stomach and she arched her back, tilting her hips, raising up on her knees a little. I slide my cock back inside of her, watching the smile grow on her face as she looked at me over her shoulder. I pressed against her, gathering her arms up and pinning her to the bed as I fucked away the past and all the moments we'd lost wanting, waiting, needing this. My hips slammed against her ass and she bit my arm, and there wasn't anything left in the world but that moment, finally, that moment. I let go of everything and I came hard.

We laid sore together in the quiet, wrapping up in each others, exhausted in the best imaginable way. It felt like we'd fucked to make up for all the times we hadn't and then finally, peacefully, together, we rested.

***

I said goodbye and kissed her as my car pulled up out front to take me back to my friends place in the Quarter. I showered and changed, keeping an eye on the time: by 4 am I was headed back to the airport. The early morning mist clung to me as I entered the terminal for the second time in 12 hours and this time I was able to catch a flight out. I dozed as the plane took off and left New Orleans in the distance, already looking forward to the next time I'd be back.