All Comments on 'Finally Free Pt. 01'
by WAA01
- 24 Comments
Anonymousover 2 years agoThis went downhill in the last 2 pages. The MC too easily forgets the years of mistreatment. The MC wants to be with his love and their daughter, which is understandable and an acceptable plot point. Dealing with his family will be required. IRL, counseling for years would be expected, not this easy acceptance.
The problem is a total lack of balancing the scale for the previous mistreatment. This is the same problem other authors (example: Soul71) gloss over. Not saying there has to be an eye for an eye. The other characters need to demonstrate (not think about) real contrition and do something (take action) to make amends and restore some of what was lost. There is nothing like that here except for the sister being a slut. An example of amends is giving up her job and serving her brother for 15 years to make up the difference in what she received from her parents and he didn't. Another example is handing over a check to cover what he could not take with him. The mother of his daughter should want compensation too for what she and her daughter went through because of his family.
Good writing cannot overcome the resulting plot which is unbelievable, even as porn, because every reaction and emotion feels fake.
Frankie1952over 2 years agoLove this story, on the edge of my seat reading about the drama. Eager to see what happens down the track and hopefully Josie & Sean will reconcile without any involvement of his family and maybe even make a baby of their own.
Anonymousover 2 years agoThis style seems really familiar. It seems identical to a dozen other stories, the majority of which by the same author. The MC is full of hate till the moment the women throw themselves at him and all is forgiven after. The rest of the world is all evil and hate till the point it all boils over, the MC flips the table, walks out and become successful. Then they are all remorse, hell bent on getting him back and head over the heels in love.
JohnAmalfi4104over 2 years agoLots of interesting twists in tnis one. Sean needs to have an actual talk with his sister. *We* understand the depths of her sorrow and contrition, he needs to understand before he can move on to either reconcilliation or a clean break.
I look forward to what his mom tries to do.
Thorlolover 2 years agoWas good until the last two pages. Then it went downhill, soul71 style. Pussy solves years of abuse and torment. Of course the family member who abused, hated and almost killed him switch from hate to love and lust just like that. And yes, all of the family member who were present when his granddad (dad) put him into the hospital are guilty by not moving a finger to help him. I mean, he was a kid, seriously? But its alright, they will heal his trauma with pussy and of course they will all carry his children... Maybe his stepdad gets to also fuck Josie, she certainly already dreamed of it, doesnt matter what he did to Sean, the person she supposedly loves. Urgh, sorry for ranting. Gets a solid 4 even though the rest is predictable.
Anonymousover 2 years agoToo fast... Oh, so she sucks his dick and magically the fact that his entire family treated him like shit is resolved? Ridiculous. You're obviously planning this to be a long series you should have left the incest or suggestion that "Every female in the family wants to fuck him" until later. Build a tentative friendship before you skip right to the sex. 3/5 but that may be too high a rating.
Anonymousover 2 years agoCouldn't get through the first two pages of hatred. Not sure if it got any better.
linnearover 2 years agoI've been day dreaming of a storyline like this for quite a while and I'm so glad to see you wrote this. I think you did an excellent job on this and I am eagerly waiting for the next part.
Fuzzy_Kbearabout 2 years agoI do hope you finish this story or at least the next part soon. So many unanswered questions that need to be answered. Love the start can't wait for the finish. Thanks for Sharing.
OverconfidentSarcasmover 1 year agoWell, after more than a year without activity, I doubt this will be updated. Shame.
When I reached the part where, completely out of the blue and without any explanation whatsoever, his entire female half of his family wanted him, you'd lost me. Up until then I liked the plot very much. I seriously don't get why some authors go to such lengths in order to establish a tragic past of abuse, to then make their MCs simply forget about it as soon as they're flashed a nipple.
WAA01@WAA01
