Finding an Exploration Partner

We've only had a few dates so far, and she already seems to know me. I like to think I know her too. She is alive in all the glowing ways I want to be, and when she's next to me she makes me feel that way too. She never wears an entirely dark or neutral outfit, there's always a pop of color. She tells me it's because she had a goth era that has now ended, and over the years she has stocked her closet with color, resulting in a mix of dark basics and bright accents. She listens to soft folk music and loves long hikes, during which she can't focus on a conversation for longer than a few minutes before she is veering off the path to look at a plant or a bird she's found. She loves pasta and Italian food, but will always say yes to a good burger smothered in toppings. She is beautiful, with freckles that each feel perfectly placed to draw your eyes towards hers.

And she's here, next to me, on my couch. My roommate is away, per my request. I want to watch this stupid movie (her words, not mine) with her alone. She's laughing at the main character's diamond advertising campaign slogan "frost yourself" which she thinks is quite possibly the stupidest slogan she's ever heard. She's commenting on how this whole movie is about a man who takes on a bet to prove he can speak for women better than women can, and somehow he's the hero and ends up winning the bet. But she loves it anyway, and I can't stop looking at her.

"Tell me a secret." I say. I want to know her better than anyone else does. I'm terrified that there's nothing left to learn, because I love every new discovery.

"Like a... 'I've never told anyone' kind of secret? Because I don't have those. Everyone knows a different part of me. I have secrets from everyone, but there's nothing about me that no one knows." I want to know everything. But I can't say that.

"Just a secret. Any secret."

"Fine.... Did I ever tell you I write smut?"

Apparently I look surprised because she says "Everyone's always shocked to learn that. I think because I'm fat people always assume I've never had sex, or that I don't experience sexuality the way they do. But it's all the same really." I pause to think about this.

"Is it good?" I ask.

"The smut?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Sure. I think I'm a decent writer. And I know what I want. I have plenty of mini fantasies that make great fuel." Oh. I want to know every fantasy. I want to make them all happen for her.

"Can I read some of it?" She looks at me like I'm out of my mind, and for a moment I think I might be. But then she smiles, and sits up, disconnecting her shoulder from mine and leaving my arms. She pulls her phone off the table, opens an incognito tab, signs in, and hands me the phone. Then she settles back into my shoulder and watches the movie.

As far as I'm concerned, the movie doesn't exist. Her page is filled with long, extraordinarily detailed descriptions of various imaginary relationships, each with very detailed descriptions of sex built in. Most of them, shockingly, are simple. They are almost... PG. She doesn't fantasize about any wild kinks or seem to want any unconventional or unusual men, but there are similarities between the stories and I go after them like they're lines in the bible. I'm looking for her, her sexuality, in her writing, and I find her. I also find myself. Or snippets of me. She's written my mannerisms into several of her characters, and I am both surprised and strangely honored.

By the time I'm done reading, the movie is over. She's looking at me when I look up from the phone and I realize she's been looking at me the whole time. The movie became inconsequential the moment we started this conversation. I'm hard, but she doesn't seem to be focused on that. She's reading my face, looking for my approval.

"Your turn." she says.

"What?"

"What's your secret?" I forgot to consider that she might actually ask me the same question, and I didn't have anything to say back.

"I don't have one."

"Well I shared, so you should too. Tell me anything. Tell me what you're thinking right now." She looks up at me from where she sits leaning into my shoulder, craning her neck to get a good look at my face. I let my head fall back and I close my eyes.

"I'm thinking I want to make every single one of your cute little fantasies real." She doesn't respond for a moment. For that moment I think maybe she's going to refuse, I think maybe I messed it up. But she doesn't. She just sits there and breathes.

"I want that too." She says after a moment.

I roll towards her, propping myself up with both hands on either side of her head. My shitty leather couch creaks just a little and the cushions squish, pushing her further down into them. She looks almost afraid, but with excitement in her eyes. I drop to my knees in front of her, letting my hands slide down the couch cushions to rest on either side of her thighs. And then slowly, carefully, with one hand, I trace my finger from her calf, up to her knee, and push her long skirt up with it. I start to pull at the shorts she wears underneath.

"Sorry. My thighs are thick and I can't stand them rubbing together."

I chuckle slightly as I pull the shorts past her ankles.

"Don't apologize. I like your thick thighs."

And then I'm tracing the stretch marks on them, letting my hands follow the lighting pattern they create up, up, up towards the black underwear she's wearing. I cup my hand over the front of it and push slightly, rolling my hand in slow motions. I hear her let out a sigh and she grabs my other hand, giving me a light squeeze. I tug at the waistband of her underwear too, exposing her unshaved pussy to the cold air. I let them fall to the floor around her ankles as I push her skirt up the rest of the way. She smells incredible, a subtle hint of sweat masked by light lavender.

I push her knees apart and she shifts her butt so she's closer to me, and I look up at her knowing what she's asking for. Before long I'm spreading the lips of her pussy apart with my fingers, pushing her folds out of the way as I taste her for the first time. She moans even before my tongue hits her, but she doesn't stop moaning afterwards. She cries out her pleasure each time my tongue brushes her clit, and I can feel her wetness gathering. I move down just slightly to lap it up, which has her shifting her body again to push her cunt into my face even further. She wants more, and I know it. So I slip my free finger inside of her while she holds my other hand, now gripping it far more tightly than before. I curl my finger and she gasps in time with my movements as I wait for her to adjust. Then I add another, and now she's moaning, so I add a third. She's stretched, now, but she doesn't seem in pain, and she bucks her hips ever so slightly with each of my thrusts.

I don't want her to cum. I like that she's squirming for me. I want to hear her little gasps for as long as I can. I can see her writhing ever so slightly. Her eyes are closed, and when she periodically opens them they are glazed over as she watches me work. I'm going slow, because I know that's what she wants, but I'm also pushing her pretty hard, letting the pressure of my fingers and my tongue do the work rather than picking up speed. She's loving every minute of this, and I'm getting harder. I'll have to do something about that soon.

I feel her start to buck her hips harder and I know she's close, so I stop. The change is sudden as I remove my fingers and my tongue at the same time and immediately stand up in front of her. She looks at me in shock, waiting for me to do something else. I hold out my hand. She takes it, and I help her up, leaving her underwear and shorts where they now sit on the floor. I walk her to my bedroom, leading the way, and I shut the door behind us before letting go of her hand. She leans in to kiss me, starting with the base of my neck (the only place she can reach without me leaning down) and then when I turn my face towards hers, she envelops my mouth with hers. She lets me explore her mouth with my tongue before she pulls away and starts to tug at the collar of my shirt. I realize her efforts will be comical at best if I don't help her, so I pull the shirt over my head and let it fall.

And then she's staring at me. I realize she's almost mesmerized. I had never felt so attractive as she reaches out a hand and brushes her fingers along my chest, letting them fall towards my hips. She pulls me in with both hands, flushing our hips together. This is also the first time she realizes how hard I am, and she laughs.

"I guess the feeling is mutual." She jokes, taking my hand, pulling her skirt up, and showing me, in the best way possible, just how wet she is. I can feel her juices spilling out of her folds. I go to put a finger in her again, but before I can, she's pulling at my belt, undoing the buckle, the button, and the zipper. I help her pull the pants down and then the waistband of my underwear is at my ankles. This time she grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bed and I sit on the edge of it.

"Is this ok with you?" She asks.

"Yes." I barely gasp out before she's on her knees with my cock in her hand.

I'm all for a woman in power, but there really is nothing like looking down on someone about to suck your cock. It's a power trip. The next seconds feel like minutes as I imagine her taking my cock like a good girl and swallowing my cum. Ok... maybe I have an active imagination too. I watch her slowly move her hand up and down before she wiggles her body in between my legs, just like I did for her. She doesn't have to push my knees apart, I do that on my own. I realize I have been dreaming about this for as long as she's been dreaming about me. And then her soft lips are on the head of my cock and I swear nothing has ever felt so good. Before long she's taken me all the way in and I can feel the back of her throat. She gags a little, but I like that. I like the sound she makes as she struggles. I like that I know she's doing it for me, to please me. I like that. I like that at this moment, she'd do anything to give me what I desire. I let those desires get the better of me and I reach down to grab her long dark hair from the back. I am pushing her forward, pushing my cock deeper into her throat, listening to her gag and then pulling on her hair and listening to the sucking sounds as my cock slides out of her mouth again. Her eyes are rolling back as I force her harder and harder. I can feel pulses through my body as I realize I'm about to cum. I want to see her try to swallow it, I want to see her throat bob as she tries to get it all down, and I want to see the excess drip down the corners of her mouth. I want her to want all that too. But this time she doesn't give me what I want.

She uses both her hands to push off me just as I'm about to cum, and stands up in front of me.

"Sorry! Was that too much? I didn't mean to- I'm so sorry are you ok?"

But she's smiling at me. She leans forward, propping one hand on the bed beside me, and drags a slow finger up the length of my cock, wet with her saliva.

"Payback" She says.

Ouch. Ok. I deserved that. I'm playfully pissed as I grab her hips and drag her towards me. I tug at the slip dress she's wearing from the top, pulling hard to get it over her breasts and off her. She unclasps her bra and lets that fall too. And there she is. Her breasts are enormous and they look so soft. I reach my arm out behind her back and pull her in, caressing the small of her back with my hand. With my other hand, I cup her boob and lick a line straight up from her nipple to the top and then all the way back down. I am slow and deliberate, letting her feel every sensation as I start to suck on her breasts. I let my other hand drift to her ass which I grab a handful of and squeeze. She gasps in slight pain as I do so, but it comes out more like a moan anyway. She feels incredible. Every inch of her skin is as soft as her thighs were. Her ass is riddled with stretch marks and I let myself trace them.

She wraps an arm around my head, encouraging my kisses on her chest, and strokes my hair softly, dragging her hand down my neck to my back. She lets her hand linger there, feeling the muscles in my shoulders. We stay like this for a while, reveling in each others bodies. Hers is so soft where mine is so rigid. She likes my muscles and I like her folds. I kiss my way up and down her belly and back up to her chest. When I'm done, I wrap both arms around her waist and just hold her there for a moment. She puts her arms around my neck and we are locked together, breathing together.

But I still want more, and I can feel in her breathing that she does too. So I lift her by the hips as she yelps, and I stand, tossing her down on the bed in my place. She giggles, surprised, and scoots backwards onto the bed with her elbows.

She must have some power over me because I find myself crawling over to her and before I know it I'm on top of her, my knees between her hips, and my hands on either side of her chest. She rests her head on a pillow and I reach down for my cock. I have to open her folds again, and I guide my dick into her entrance slowly, watching her face shift as I enter her. There's no pain in her face, which makes sense considering how wet she is. I feel her warmth travel up through me. I lean forward to kiss her slowly. When I try to lean back again, she stops me, putting a hand on the back of my head again to bring me closer to her. The smell of our sweat is overtaking her lavender scent now.

I thrust into her quickly, pushing my hips upwards into hers. I know I've hit gold because her moan into my mouth is completely involuntary, and I let the vibration of it sit in her throat before I thrust again. Each time I do, she shifts on the bed, her whole body rising with each of my thrusts. I pull away from our kiss and look at her. She's looking at me in between my thrusts, but I can see her lose her focus each time I push myself back into her. That's ok with me though, I like that she can't control her own pleasure. I like her little moans. I like the way her body moves on the bed, the jiggle of her breasts each time.

I can feel the pressure building in my cock, but just as I think I'm about to cum, she does. I feel her walls close around my cock and release, over and over as she gasps for air. Her hands are on my forearms and I can feel her nails dig into my skin as a few more of my thrusts send her over the edge. She shudders, the sensation traveling up her spine like a chill. And then I'm cumming too. I feel my cum fill her and seep out onto my sheets, I slow down my thrusts and my final few are glorious, with her pussy closing me in tighter.

I let my elbows drop as I pull out of her and roll to her side. I'm in her arms, I realize, and she wraps her arm around me and curls her body towards mine. We lay there for a few minutes, enjoying the bliss. When our gasping has slowed to normal breaths, she pulls me in closer and we lay there until my roommate has nearly returned and we have to go clean up. There's a lot more we want to explore, but I realize we have all the time in the world, and lots of material to start with too.