All Comments on 'Finding Love'

individual honor allows others to. TK U MLJ LV NV

Some things are a little off, like how would Patricia know to wear the wire. I think you lost track of the knife at one point with it being in Tyler's hand and also ricks chest.

Still a 5 star story though

While I really enjoyed the story, there seemed at times that parts of the story was missing. Chapters 5 & 6 moved very fast and could have benefited from the story being filled out. It seemed they both fell in love very fast. And in chapter 9, why was she wearing a wire? What cop would allow his wife to wear a wire? How did they even know Tyler was going to be there? But as I said, I still really enjoyed the story.

I like the story in general, but geez, man, you REALLY need to proof your stuff better. Weird (and I mean WEIRD) punctuation in places, flipping between first- and third-person POV within a single paragraph, and just an overall bloodlessness to the writing. Too clinical, too monotone.

Get an editor, for Pete's sake. What you're writing is too good to be this half-assed.

Story seems a little disjointed. Also many of your military procedures are incorrect. For most people they are accurate enough they don't detract from the story much but still they bother those who have been there. In any event, the story is worth continuing.

I'll give you a 5 for trying and hope you get with it on part two. You missed way to many opportunities to draw a better picture, you were weak on the military procedures and protocols, and basically just (oh) whatever. The 5 is for the attempt. I really enjoy stories that portray our military in a good way. Guess you can tell I was there.

Good story but the timeline seems rushed: from first meeting to getting engaged in twelve days is a rush job which isn’t very believable.

Also, you made a hell of a historical snafu (political wishful thinking from the author?) when you placed Osama Bin Laden’s death a year earlier in a previous President’s administration. As the president who was in charge at the time (2011à was overwhelmingly re-elected a year later (2012).

It's a fictional story. Not everything has to be 100% accurate. I write for enjoyment and, hopefully, tell a tale with a happy ending.

Could probably use some editing but all in all a good read. Having a relative at UF iits nice to read about all the places I have been. Once again congrads on a nice story. Go Gators

a bit over the top, but them Seals are tough. I give a five too, because I enjoyed.

Having relatives and an ex-classmate at the other place, I say GO Noles!

Is I don't see in the narrative the reason he should fall in love with her.

OK she is good looking. But has shown bad judgement in her selection of dates. And few endearing qualities.

The stories that grab me have more character development. The exposition of a persons character occurs over time, and many meetings, circumstances etc that allow the potential love interest to show their qualities and show why they would be a good life choice. That type of story is so much more difficult than the simple plot story because the characters are more complex.

Thanks for sharing a very enjoyable read looking forward to your next submissions.

I have no military experience or knowledge so I don't have an opinion on what you wrote for that, however the overall story has so many holes I'm surprised it didn't sink. Grammar, punctuation and spelling errors as well as changes in tenses shouldn't have been there. It was rushed, absolutely no interaction between the two who seemingly were instantly in love after what? One afternoon of tutoring? There was no build up, no dating, no nothing. I realise its fiction BUT dude, come on get some reality into your story. Something that can be related to, as it stands this really isn't a story, its an outline of what could be much, much better if YOU bothered to spend some time doing something you yourself state you enjoy by filling it out into a great story. This was mediocre at best.

They have no interaction !!!!!! How can they fall in love ???? After what? It has posibilities but there are a bunch of holes there.....

how can the knife be it the guys hand and in rick`s chest? most men do not

wear their medals unless they have to. they do not wear purple hearts unless they

have to. they wear normal clothing off base and off duty . medals make you

a target for scum. a touch of real life would be nice.

This story started off okay. The plot was interesting and the narrator had an okay voice. It was annoying that the narrative switched between 1st and 3rd person. Everything was fine until the hospital scene. Why is the guy telling her he loves her?when did this develop? It was far fetched.

But there are some problems with the story that just make you have to think about like how these people fell in love .....

A navy seal that can take on 5 bad guys at the beginning of the story then lets a big mouth stab him. Really. He would have been ready to parry the knife thrust. The rifle in story is an M107 not a M170

Too many other errors and grammar errors to keep track of.

Story started out pretty good then faded off quickly.

I have read a few of you`re stories now,, each and every one is exactly the same

I give up after this one, the story and the out come in each and every one is the same. If you read one you read em all

real men do not wear all the metals and ribbons off duty as you wrote. A real

seal would have whipped the floor with punk like tyler . to much Hollywood in

your tale. a knife in the chest that made you fall down and a few stiches fixed

you up, get real.

I did not remember the name but as soon as I flashed on the story I read it again and enjoyed it again. It says "Romance" and I usually don't care for just plain Romance stories. But I do enjoy reading Gator Rick's stories and I read for enjoyment, MY ENJOYMENT. So, if you don't like his stories just don't read them, many of us do. As to the one who cracked that any self-respecting SEAL would have done so-and-so, this is true. But, if you followed the story, this man was recovering from a head wound and other injuries, he was not even allowed to drive. So, he should engage in a fight, especially with several other thugs standing by to waylay him? Get real! Without an injury he would have done so but it worked out and it is just a story. What part of "story" do you not understand? And he was still a member of the U.S. Navy and when in dress uniform I think you are required to wear your medals but I am not sure, it has been about sixty years since I was in the Navy. Picky, picky. Important errors of fact should be pointed out, not conjecture and fanciful thinking. Keep writing, Rick.

Loved the story can't wait for the sequel. I'm a big fan of navy seals

Great story he should receive the Medal of Honor for his heroics in the next chapter.

Great story will you continue it?

Like some others, I had a little trouble with the fight at the end. This was the week before Christmas and the injuries seem to have been sustained somewhere around the end of September(10 days+ several weeks before the middle of Novemeber) so he was three months into his recovery. And we were told it was going rather quickly.

I would not expect him to be at peak but having him get blindsided by some clown putting a knife in his chest seems pretty clumsy. He had to not notice the knife being drawn, not been able to defend against it while the guy had to come over a table at him and not be able to dodge.

Since you already gave Rick passing credit for stopping a nuclear attack on the US, why not have the clown go for Patricia and have Rick shove her out of the way and get tagged?

I know this is a MINOR point, but for some reason, it really made Rick seem much less capable than he had seemed up until then.

Since I enjoyed the story I gave it 5*, but she transferred her affection to Rick too fast. There should have been more to it. Also, as a man with a degree in English I can guarantee we are not given sufficient combat training so as to be able to take out a SEAL. Maybe a crazed undergraduate, but not a SEAL!

you know, not enough is written about the losses and perils that our members of our armed forces go throuigh! they suffer degradation even from our government! and we cannot forget our police forces, who are facing even more and more degradation and murders by the very peopl they are trying to protect! and our firefighters, who years ago used to have open-air cabs, now responfd in sealed cabs!!!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!!! thanks for this post!!!!!!!!

In this story, the pacing of the injuries sustained by Rick, there is no way in hell that he would not have taken that little jackass apart at the seams. I am an ex Navy SEAL and I guarantee you, even with the injuries he sustained, and the timing of the injuries, compared to when the little asshole attacked him, I would have torn him a new ass. He would have never even gotten close to stabbing me. We are taught to pay close attention to everything that is going on close to us, he would have never even had a chance to use that knife like you portrayed him being able to do. He would have been dead meat.

This is TopShelf FICTION so please cut the author some slack please? I loved it! Yeah I know that it takes time to heal and that awareness isn't the best BUT I still loved the story I couldn't care less about what other people say, love you all! Bye. Greg

Come on peoples this is a great romance story! With a HERO theme as the basis of the story! My DAD USE TO SAY"YOU CAN! PLEASE SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME BUT YOU CAN'T PLEASE ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME" So give the author GATOR RICK a go! If you don't like the story get on your Pogo stick and Pogo off! Love you all GREG! BYE! OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

I read the second story first. It has the perfect story line I love to read. Thanks for your efforts. I hope the rest of your stories go as well as this one.

for a powerful tale.

no matter if it is people, places or issues, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is a true military story 5 stars. ALL military tell all their combat stories and describe to 3 and 5 year olds all the ribbons they deserved. It's clearly. as this story teller describes, NOT true that a combat vets almost will NEVER speak of what happened. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. But fun imaginary stories have their place. Keep writing, their fun fantasy...

@GatorRick,

"Hey, Anonymous nitpicking guys

It's a fictional story. Not everything has to be 100% accurate. I write for enjoyment and, hopefully, tell a tale with a happy ending."

I don't care about 100% accuracy, I have no idea about anything military, however there are far, far too many holes in the plot to tell the tale. Your 'happy endings' always seem forced because you leave so much out and rush the 'we're in love' endings. 2*

Decent plot. Sadly some of the tale was childlike while other portions more adult.

Grimmer . . . why don't YOU write and post something we all can comment on.

I enjoyed the story. You do tend to go from first person POV to third person quite often. When you tell a story in first person, you cannot tell the reader what happens when you are not in the room. You have no idea what your girlfriend is thinking or telling her parents if you're some place else. With a little refinement, your stories will be at or near the top of heap. An editor is always helpful.

Nay sayers must have got to you. Too bad. Dont like it when people say they will continue and dont.

Seems like a repeat of another story. Although I basically enjoyed the story, the situations included were all quite extreme. You really should have scaled it back.

But why did Rick get so damn stupid in the end??? He knew of the date rape drug and it's effect, so why did he become so fucking stupid??? THAT!!! hurt the story for me and lost me respect for the Rick character. HUGE mistake author.

Hey cyboji,

If you look at the author's list of submissions, you will find one called "Finding Home", submitted on the same day as this story. The summary says it is a continuation of this story.

Most of us don't like people making snarky remarks about a writer's efforts when they have contributed nothing themselves.

LOL, love at first tutoring session? Come on! At least have some build up to the "I love you forever" bull crap.

Oct 16, 2021

Excellent story, storyline progressed at just the right speed. Can't wait to read the finish. Well done 5++ stars

5 BUT …

While I accept and usually appreciate comic book style heroics in stories, the aftermath of a knifing chest wound requiring 15 stitches to close neglected any science fiction provisos of instant healing/recoveries … so I found it quite jarring to the story.

Craig

Nice story line with just the right ingredients (for me). However, more credibility would make the story even better. That woulfd take some time i think most readers wouldn't mind. For instance, the hero is a bit too perfect, the circumstabces that raise him to his hero status are overly convenient and he is just completely perfect. Mutual eternal love between Fred and Susan after having met only a couple of times, most of which they didn't get to really know each other or discuss much, also is a bit gratuitous. The story wasn't compelling enough to make me.really identify w/F or fall in love w/S. But 4 stars easily..

good but so much happened in such a small time period. tried to put too much Hero stuff in

AFAIK, one is not awarded a second Purple Heart if wounded a second time. An Oak leaf cluster or miniature star is worn for each subsequent wound or injury.

Story really seemed to rush along. It would have been good to break it up and inset an additional chapter in there.

Nice story but like the commentor said, too much hero stuff\virtue signaling. He wouldn't even throw a punch until he had a knife in his chest. I felt like at every situation some moralistic stance had to be explained to the reader.

A little, actually a lot, over the top on what an amazing man he is. I'd be surprised if when he goes to the bathroom there is any bad smell at all. He can obviously walk on water.

Who has a calculus test the next day, that they are obviously not ready for, and promises to go shopping? The only obvious answer is someone who does not care if they pass or not, and yet she needs to pass this test to graduate and is stressing about it.

Did you even think about what you were writing?