Finding Love in Thin Places Pt. 02

Day 3: Canterbury

Chris woke early, as always on pilgrimage, and most of his life. He made his way to the shower and let the water run over his body. He remembered the night before and smiled. So many of his old feelings for Kate had resurfaced. Including his strong desire for her. Her intellect and confidence had initially attracted him, and she had grown into woman he respected and admired.

Her beauty hadn't faded either. Kate's broad hips and full breasts had undergone the changes that everyone goes through as they age, but that gorgeous curvy figure still attracted him, just as surely as the first day he saw her. And her smile. That slightly crooked little smile. He never understood why, but it always made his heart soar when he saw it. His cock stirred as he remembered seeing her ass sway as she walked, conflating memories of it from his youth, and the preceding two days.

He had put all those feelings away, years ago, lived a life without her, but now those feelings pushed back with an almost overwhelming force. He considered reaching for the soap to stroke himself but shook his head. He needed to keep his distance. While last night wasn't a mistake, he supposed it could easily become one.

He turned to business and quickly dressed and packed for the day.

***

As the bus merged from the A46 onto the M4 and the ride smoothed out a bit, Chris stood in the aisle and steadied himself against the two front seats.

"We have a bit of a ride this morning as we are headed to Canterbury. I'm sure you all know Chaucer's Canterbury Tales. It's about a group of pilgrims who tell their stories as they make their way there. My favorite is The Miller's tale," a few chuckled, knowing the story's reputation for ribald humor, "but I always enjoyed the Wife of Bath too."

"I talked the other morning about 'thin places' and Chaucer wrote about them over six hundred years ago. He called them 'liminal places,' but the idea is the same. As we will learn today, there's been some kind of religious site at or near the Cathedral since at least Roman times. Many have argued that sites like Canterbury develop because it's a thin place. We'll have a guided tour late this morning, with an expert from the Cathedral leading us. And then free time through the afternoon. We'll meet at the hotel, which is just around the corner from the Cathedral at four and then walk back to the Cathedral for Evensong. As usual, you're on your own for dinner."

More of the group sat together in pairs, and Meg and Kate buddied up.

"Kate, I see that Sarah's free and I thought I might see if she wants to bum around together this afternoon and have dinner," Meg said as she rose from her seat and moved forward.

Seconds after Meg left her seat, not even long enough for it to cool, John slinked into it. He caught Kate by surprise, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted his company.

"Good morning, Kate," he greeted her with a smile that felt disingenuous.

"Good morning, John. Did you have a good day yesterday?"

They chatted for a few moments about the Roman Baths, and Bath in general. John had eaten alone the night before and Kate sensed his hurt feelings from that.

"Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?" John asked.

"Oh, Gosh, John, that's nice, but Meg and I have plans; another night perhaps?" Kate deflected.

Before John could respond, Meg returned. "Hi John," her voice cold and almost accusatory, "you're in my seat."

John stood, "I hope another night then!"

As John moved away and Meg sat down, Kate looked at her puzzled. "That was a little unfriendly?"

"I think he's tried to date every single woman in the parish." Meg said, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "Sarah's got other plans, should we ask anyone else?"

Martha, who sat just in front of them with Kristin, turned around in her seat. "Yeah, John asked me out too. He's looking for love, but in all the wrong places." The four women cackled with laughter. "Could we join you this afternoon and for dinner?"

Kate sat in silence as Meg, Kristin and Martha began to talk about what all they might do for the day. She certainly didn't find John attractive, but she also couldn't blame him. She knew the heartache of loneliness. She realized that she had pushed away friends over this last year, isolating herself. She didn't want to live in loneliness anymore.

***

Chris enjoyed taking a back seat to the local guide, Martin. When he first started leading tours, colleagues had recommended Martin for his many years as a docent at the Cathedral. Even though Chris had heard the spiel before, Martin's delivery and knowledge made his talks worthy of hearing over and over.

As they got ready to break for the afternoon, Chris approached John. "Hey John, do you want to have dinner with Bill, Jane and me tonight? I know a great pub, or if you'd rather, some really good Indian food."

John cocked his head and what started as a sneer quickly became a smile, "Yes, sure. That sounds like fun. Tell me, how do you decide who and what combinations to join for dinner?"

Chris kind of blinked, "Well you know John, it's really mostly just who I run into. I put you on the top of my list for tonight since I said no last night. But I ran into Bill and Jane first thing and they asked. So, I thought it might be a good group of four?"

"Ah, I see, well great then. I assume we'll just walk from here?" They concluded the logistics and Chris headed to the hotel.

***

As the group walked together to Evensong, Chris caught up to Kate, Meg, Kristin and Martha, who walked together a little ahead of the rest of the group. "Hey ladies, did you have a good afternoon?"

Kate heard Chris's voice and couldn't help smiling. "Hi, Chris," she turned. "Yeah, we shopped and,'' she giggled, "are you allowed to go to Evensong after a gin and tonic?" She quickly added, putting up her hands, "Asking for a friend."

The other ladies burst into giggles and shushed her jokingly. "Don't tell all our secrets!"

"I will admit to nothing, but let's just say if having a drink before evensong is a sin, I might need some absolution."

The ladies all laughed conspiratorially.

"What's so funny?" John interjected from a meter or so behind them.

John's interruption dampened the mood for moment, until Meg said, "It's lady talk John, and like a lot of other things having to do with ladies, you won't get it."

Chris tried to contain his laughter. The four women laughed hysterically. Clearly, they had consumed a lot more than one gin and tonic that afternoon. Their infectious laughter spread easily. Controlling himself, Chris sidled over to John just as they passed through the gate and headed toward the Cathedral entrance.

Chris hid his own laughter and said quietly to John, "Why don't we sit together. The music's fantastic and I think I know a good seat choice."

Chris sat next to John and pointed out some of the lesser-known features about both the building and the service. John showed interest, despite appearing on edge, and defensive. Nothing could ruin the fantastic experience of Evensong in Canterbury though. Chris considered it one of his favorites.

***

Chris enjoyed a pleasant dinner that evening. He learned about Bill's long career as an engineer in the auto industry and Jane's career as both a stay-a-home mom and middle school teacher. As long-time golfers they planned to stay in Scotland after the tour and play at St. Andrews and a few other courses, along with some other sight-seeing.

"I think you all might be more excited about golfing than the thin places," Chris joked. "Scotland is gorgeous, and the golf courses are special. If you need any advice on other parts, I actually just bought a house in Scotland and know it pretty well."

"Tell me more about thin places," John interrupted. "Honestly, I kind of think it's a bunch of hokey nonsense."

Jane responded quickly, "I really felt something profound that first day, and I know others did too. And Canterbury feels special."

Chris smiled and even chuckled, "You know John I'm a bit of a skeptic myself. My analytic brain always looks for alternatives and so I've given this a little thought. I first really experienced God's presence at about age fourteen on top of a rock formation called The Tooth of Time."

Bill interrupted with, "Philmont." Chris nodded in reply before continuing.

"We climbed The Tooth early in the morning and watched the sunrise filled the valley below us. It's difficult to describe the special feelings of those moments, except magnificent and divine. A lot of the other guys with me felt something special too."

John jumped in, "But why is it a 'thin place'." His tone more of a statement than a question.

"Well, that's just it. We all experienced something. We'd been on the trail together for nine days, and long story short, we hadn't really had much food the last day, and very little water too."

Bill interjected, "It's dry camp, right?"

"Yeah, and the well we counted on earlier in the day was dry." Chris continued, "We woke up early that morning so we were tired too. I think those kinds of conditions lead us to be sensitive and vulnerable. Cultures all over the world have used things like fasting, sweat lodges, isolation, self-flagellation, you name it, to find that openness."

"And that's the thing, like my experience on the Tooth of Time, because a bunch of us were there and sensitive and vulnerable it became a shared experience. So, we go back and say, 'wow, that's a special place' and others will visit too. Not everyone will have an experience, but more will, and pretty soon, it has a reputation."

"So, all just, what? Hallucinations?" John smiled like the Cheshire cat.

"No, it's real. We open up and God's there. All too often we are closed off; to God; to love. I know it's true for me. London -- where we go tomorrow -- is hell for me. I mean, I love the city and Westminster is amazing, but I'm so on guard -- doubly so as a guide -- that I've never ever experienced anything remotely resembling a 'thin place' there. But I do almost every time at Avebury, and often at other places too. When I remember to open myself up."

Jane added, "So what you're really saying is that we can make our own thin places?"

Chris nodded, "That's exactly it. We are the ones who put up the barriers between ourselves and God. And if you believe, as I do, that each one of us carries a piece of God with them, those barriers prevent us from seeing the God in each other too. And they prevent us from loving one another as God calls us to. We create the thickness."

They chatted more about past experiences, life, and religion.

Day 4: London

The next morning, they boarded the coach and headed north to London.

"Good morning! I hope you all enjoyed Canterbury and last night's amazing Evensong. It's one of my favorite places to hear my favorite service. Today we are headed for London. We'll spend two days there because there is so much to see and do. And you'll have time on your own to explore: The British Museum, the Tower of London, The Eye, The National Gallery, The portrait gallery, The V&A, Big Ben, Parliament, and so much more. If you want suggestions, let me know. "

"We have two tours, one service and one group meal on our schedule. This morning, we will take a guided tour of St. Paul's and then this afternoon, we will take a guided tour of Westminster Abbey. You're on your own after that tour. I can make all kinds of suggestions, let me know what you're interested in. Tomorrow morning, we will attend the Sung Eucharist at Westminster Abbey. After the service we are booked into a very traditional Sunday Roast pub dinner. And then you'll be on your own for the rest of the afternoon and evening."

Chris sat back down as the coach continued on the M2 toward London. He sighed and started to steel himself for the stress of leading a group through London. Tour buses could do some things, but it's a huge city and getting around is challenging even if you know it well. It's terrifying to keep a group together. He felt thankful for Henry, their driver. There is no way Chris could drive a bus in London. As he felt his stress levels starting to rise, a slow stream of people began to come to the front to ask for suggestions of things to do. He appreciated the distraction.

Kate appeared as one of the last. "Is there a service I could attend at St. Paul's?"

"Oh, yeah!" Chris pulled up the St. Paul's schedule. "There are a couple options that would easily fit. Evensong tonight is one, and early service -- no music, contemplative prayer type - tomorrow at eight, and Evensong again tomorrow night, um half five, it looks like."

Sarah peeked around from behind her, "Which one are you thinking Kate? I wanted to ask that too."

"I'm not sure. What sounds good to you?" Kate asked, turning around.

"I'm thinking the Evensong one, they are so amazing. But the quiet eight am service really appeals to me too."

The two returned to their seats discussing the services and debating whether they wanted to get up early enough for a morning service.

The two tours, with lunch provided in between at a Pret-a-Manger, and the necessity of moving people through London, left Chris tired. After they finished at Westminster, he gathered them in the park across the street and gave directions to the hotel. "I'm heading there now if anyone wants to follow along. Henry already took your luggage, and you can simply check in at the front desk anytime. You're on your own for dinner. I need a break and so I won't be joining any of you tonight."

***

Kate, Sarah, Kristin, and Martha spent a couple of hours that afternoon just wandering the Westminster Area. After ohhing and ahhing over Parliament and Big Ben, they began walking up Horse Guards Road next to St. James park.

Kristin and Martha walked ahead a little, holding hands, and Sarah quietly asked Kate, "How are you?"

Kate looked at her, "You mean like, really, right?"

Sarah laughed, "Yeah, really. I know the first day," she thought for a second," Wednesday? Was very emotional for you. You seemed to have a great time in Canterbury though!"

"Oh God," Kate turned a little red, "Meg is wild, and I'm afraid we maybe drank a little too much yesterday afternoon."

Sarah laughed, "It's fine. Good times with friends are wonderful, especially on these trips. I'm wondering how you're feeling though."

"That first day was actually really good. I needed to grieve, and I hadn't. And then, well, um, seeing Chris again has been..." she didn't know how to finish. "Good, I guess? Like reminding me that I had a life -- and love -- before I met Steve?"

"Love?!" Sarah's eyebrows raised in surprise as she cocked her head slightly.

"Yeah, we dated for a short bit at the beginning of college. I look back now and we both felt a love of sorts. Not the kind I had with Steve. Chris and I were too young, and I really wasn't ready for it. And even though Chris thought he was, he wasn't, he was still a boy." They both laughed. "But yeah, love. But most importantly, a life and fun. Like yesterday." Kate and Sarah both laughed again.

"Do you think you still have feelings for Chris?" Sarah asked. "And what about him? For you?"

"Gosh I don't know, Sarah. Yes, maybe? Or maybe it's just nice to remember? It's been great to see him again. We enjoyed a good time together the other night. He is even sweeter and nicer than I remember, and I enjoyed being with him." She admitted, maybe for the first time, "So, I think there are feelings there? And I think he might feel the same?" Kate almost hoped Sarah knew the answers.

They chatted a little more, mostly about living a full life after Steve. They ended their walk at Trafalgar Square, the imposing Nelson's Column and the gorgeous fountains, with the National Gallery framing it all.

"Are we ready to 'brave the tube'?" Sarah asked. "We need to head out if we're going to make Evensong."

Like most tourists taking the tube, they became a little lost but eventually made the trip from Embankment to Mansion House, and then the easy five-minute walk back to the Cathedral.

The service began and Kate lost herself in the music. She reflected on how thoroughly she enjoyed the last few days. Bath, the evening with Chris, Canterbury Cathedral and perhaps especially cutting loose in the middle of an afternoon with friends. The soaring music and the beauty of St. Paul's left her in awe. As the Cantor stood, leading the final prayers, Kate knelt. She let the words of the cantor roll through her brain, but the awe and magnificence of the experience flooded her emotion. She prayed, "Wow."

Day 5: London

Even though he didn't need to corral anyone until half nine, Chris woke at six to check in with Henry and double-check itinerary and details for the next few days. He made his way down to breakfast around eight, and found Martha, Meg, and Kate eating and sat with them.

"I take it you didn't go to the eight o'clock service this morning then?" Chris smiled.

"I think Sarah did," Kate corrected. "But we went to Evensong last night and then out for some Indian and perhaps,'' Kate giggled, "a few too many drinks."

"Well, if you're up by now, you clearly didn't have too many!" Chris laughed. "How did you like Evensong at St. Paul's?"

Martha started, "It was beautiful, the choir was amazing, and the building is perfect."

Kate nodded her agreement, "All I can say is, Wow." Her face beamed.

Seeing Kate happy and amazed made him feel happy too and he couldn't help the smile that spread on his face. While he certainly always enjoyed it when his pilgrims had a good experience, her joy elicited a different, deeper emotion.

***

They filed into seats between the altar and the Quire. Chris ended up sitting next to Kate, partly by his design, but he thought she maneuvered it some as well. The service was a standard sung Eucharist, though the talent of Westminster's choir and the beauty of the setting raised it to something miraculous. Chris loved singing here and just belted it out, even singing the tenor part when he could.

As they sat listening to the sermon, Kate leaned over and whispered, "I didn't know you could sing!"

Chris chuckled, "I started late. Singing in our little church choir, taking some voice lessons. It's easy to sing with them." He nodded at the choir.

As the sermon ended and the service moved to the prayers of the people, Kate watched Chris. Steve had been quite devout, with a deep belief in God. She remembered Chris as more of an agnostic or even iconoclast. The man she was seeing now contrasted sharply with those memories.

During the prayers of the people, she heard him not quite silently mumbling his own requests. She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, but she leaned just a little closer when she heard her name. He prayed for Sarah and John, and maybe the entire group. And then she heard him plead, "And help me heal from her."

Kate kept glancing at him. Watching him. As the service progressed, his presence next to her began to feel transcendent. She felt a closeness to this man in a way that both surprised and excited her. She still appreciated his cute dimples, which caught her eye that first day so many years ago. She also appreciated his faith and his humor. She felt an intimate connection to him. Not just physical attraction, although that as well. And not just in her heart, but in her soul.

Something about standing next to Kate made the beautiful service special for Chris. He'd attended plenty of services at Westminster over the last few years and enjoyed them, but Kate's presence added a sublime element. An element he had missed for a long time now. He felt a closeness to her that exhilarated him. He felt a growing and deeper, even profound, connection with her. He thought about putting his arm around Kate's waist, pulling her closer. Perhaps not entirely unconsciously, he shifted a little closer to her.