Finding Mr. Wright Ch. 18-Epilogue

He moved from my bottom down to my thighs, tapping and warming them up, before another whack! descended on my right thigh. I felt the strike hit and cause the skin on my leg to ripple. If I had seen it, or knew it was coming, I would have been able to tense my muscles. Instead, since I couldn't predict it, the crop his soft, unprepared flesh. I tensed up immediately, gasping, but the pain seared into me, giving me yet a third area where the crop struck me, a third area of pain that radiated into my body. He followed this up with a fourth quick strike to my other thigh, causing the subsiding feeling to build in me again, achieving a new heightened sense of pain in me, one that exceeded the other three alone, each one building on the other.

He continued doing this, first lower on my thighs, then up again, on my bottom, then up to my back and shoulders. He was enveloping almost all of the the back half of my body with the pain sensation. I yelped or squealed or grunted with each strike. I squirmed in my bonds. Yet truth to tell, I was enjoying every second of this.

Just as I realized this, he stopped and moved up behind me. Even though I couldn't see, I knew what he was doing. He was examining me. Examining what he did. Just as Miss M did, he was making sure he was not striking too hard, that I wasn't being hurt beyond something I could stand, that he wasn't damaging me.

I expected him to move back and resume his work with the riding crop. Instead, I felt his arms envelop me again, one just under my chest, the other lower, around my hips, just like before. He held me tightly, but before releasing me, he moved his lower hand down in front of me, over my mound, running a finger deep between my legs, into my slit. I think we were both surprised at how wet and aroused I was!

"I see you are liking this, Elizabeth," his voice came out. Neither of us had said much till that point, so it took me by surprise when he said it.

"Yes, Mr. A," I responded quickly, "You are causing this." I felt silly after I said it, wanting to elaborate, but I didn't trust my voice.

"Well then, I think you need more," he said a bit playfully.

Before I could respond, two quick strikes rained down on the small of my back, and I gasped hard. It was becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to scream, as the force he was using paled in comparison to anything he had done so far. He still wasn't at the level that Miss M used with the switch, but he was certainly building to that level. For the first time, I began to wonder if he could do it, if he would do it, if he could bring me to that level I desired. The possibility made me shiver.

Whack! Whack! Whack! Three blows now in rapid succession, across each thigh and again across my bottom. Yes, he was definitely raising the level of intensity with each strike, and with each strike my gasps and yelps flowed freely, no longer in sync with the strikes. As I was reacting to one, another came down and interrupted it, causing yet a new and compound reaction from me. It kept me completely off guard and in a saturated level of pain.

What was missing though, was the level of pleasure that Miss M had used in conjunction with the pain. What had caused so quick and violent of an orgasm in me before, with her, was the dual feeling of pain and pleasure, something my mind melded into one. Here, other than the one touch by Aaron, there was only the pain.

Three more blows then, across my back and lower back, followed by my own startled gasps and yelps. I felt myself growing weak, succumbing to the pain. Though nothing was really intense like I saw with Brooke and Mr. V, I was starting to wonder if this would be it, if this would be all he would do, if this was all he was prepared to do.

Aaron stepped up behind me again, one hand moving between my legs and touching me again, moving that same finger into my wet crevice, but this time pushing inside. My wetness was extreme at this point, and I could almost hear his finger sloshing around. A second finger entered me as he began to move them in and out of me. Ah! There it is! I thought to myself. There is the pleasure, so I looked for the pain, the feelings that needed to be coupled together, but now, the pain wasn't there, the back of my body was throbbing, but the pain was diminished.

I then heard him drop the crop and his other hand moved up to my breast, taking a nipple in between his fingers and squeezing. He didn't do it hard enough to hurt, but more like he did it softly to arouse and awaken me there. He moved his other hand out of me, now covered in my moisture, and he used it to wet both my nipples. He returned his hand down between my legs, but now, he was massaging me, masturbating me, using the tips of his fingers in a circular motion, right on my clit, pushing forcefully into it right there against my body. Then, he stopped with that hand, and took up playing with my breasts and nipples with the other hand. The pleasure I was feeling down below ceased, and it was instead brought up to my chest, so he had me feeling it there, instead. He slowed the touching on my breasts and began massaging me below again, letting the pleasure build there again. He continued this for I don't know how long, alternating between my chest and between my legs, as I began to feel an orgasm building. He must have sensed it too, as he stopped.

He stopped! Damn it Aaron, didn't you know what you were about to do to me? I relaxed, a little frustrated, still hanging, panting, my breathing coming in a heated rhythm, as the building orgasm subsided. As I came down from that feeling, I knew that was his intention. An orgasm this early was not his intent.

I heard him bend down and pick up the crop. He started again with the light tapping, but with the already red areas, even a light tap sent a sensation of pain through me. It wasn't long before he struck hard again. He didn't do it in multiple hard strikes like he had done where he left off. Instead, these were single strikes. Harder. Harder yet than he had done with anything, now even harder even than Miss A had done with the switch.

My gosh each one hurt! But at the same time, it felt intense, in a sexual way. Even though that orgasm has subsided, his manipulation between my legs and on my chest raised my level of pleasure, and that had not completely gone away when he stopped. I focused on that, bringing it up, trying to mesh it with the pain, to meld the two again like I had done with Miss M. It helped, but something was still missing, whether it was the level of pleasure or the level of pain, I had no idea. It began to wear at me and get frustrating.

Aaron stopped again. He repeated what he had done with his hands, bringing me even higher, closer, before stopping again. Damn! It wouldn't take me much to go over the edge! He picked up the crop, so I tried again to focus on the pleasure, now even more evident, more palpable, waiting for his strikes to resume, to hear me scream, to react from the pain, to bring them together so I could erupt into an earth shattering orgasm.

However, Aaron did not resume. Instead, he walked close to me, behind me, and I could feel his eyes on my back, on my shoulders, on my butt and thighs. I waited for him to examine me, to make sure all was right before he began his manipulation of my body again. He took longer this time, looking me over, before I heard him drop the crop to the side, whispering to himself in a way that he thought I couldn't hear. I heard him whisper the word, "done."

NO! Damn you Aaron! How the hell could you bring me close, so close again and just stop!!! You can't be done! I was not going to let this end. I needed to tell him, beg him, order him, anything so that he finished what he started! I was not going to let myself get this close to what I desired only to fail now. Give me the damn crop and I'll finish it myself, I thought! I was going to stay quiet no longer!

"Aaron!" I almost shouted at him, dropping the whole 'Mr. A' thing. "You can't stop now, I need to ..." As I said this, a noise from behind me stopped me in my tracks, mid-sentence. It was a distinct, unmistakable noise. There was nothing else like it. I shivered as I heard it and the ramifications sank it. It was the crack of a bull whip, as Aaron tested it in the air several feet behind me.

I was so lost in thinking he had stopped altogether that I hadn't heard him go back and retrieve the whip. I hadn't heard the whip cutting the air as he swung it upward, somewhere behind me, causing the distinctive 'crack!' as he brought it back down, testing its movement in the air.

The sound was meant to shock and surprise me. It had its intended effect. Though of course it didn't hit me, I froze, stopping what I was saying, closing my mouth quickly. My mind was a blur. Fear, anxiety, excitement, arousal, nervousness, tension, and a thousand other feelings washed over me all at once. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. The shock came over me that this was going to happen, it was really going to happen! Was I ready? Was I up for this? Did I really and truly want this? Could I take it? I was in a daze all over again as both excitement and fear combined in me at the same time.

"So this is what you want, is it not, Elizabeth?" Aaron asked, softly, even politely. He didn't sound harsh, like a man about to whip a woman. He didn't sound cruel, like the Aaron that left me crying however many weeks ago. No, he was asking me, asking my permission, seeming almost reluctant to do what he was about to do.

For the first time in these building experiences, I hesitated. With Aaron and others, my response was usually a quick and eager, a whispered 'yes.' But here it was. I hesitated. For the first time, I contemplated what it really meant, what I was about to go through. Damn, why was I hesitating? Did I not want this? Isn't this the thing that I've been seeking? Did I climb within sight of the top of Mount Everest, only to back away when it was within my grasp?

"Elizabeth?" Aaron asked, still awaiting my response.

"Yes," I whispered back, in that oh so familiar soft, submissive tone. "Yes Aaron, I want you to whip me. Please whip me." As I said it, I almost had a mini-orgasm by itself. Never before had I dared to ask this. Never before had I given someone permission to inflict this level of pain on me. Never before had I wanted it, wanted it as badly as I did.

CRACK! The blow landed across my back, shattering the silence and causing a searing fire to slice across my back, like nothing I had ever felt before. I screamed. Never before had I been subject to this level of pain. Never. The fire of the slice coursed through me, burned me, searing, more intense and painful than I had ever remotely dreamed. There was no way to describe it, but as the pain subsided slightly and my reaction to the strike subsided, as I gathered my wits about me, I knew it for what it wasn't. It wasn't the lash that would remove skin. It wasn't the lash that was designed for torture, for extreme punishment, or even to possibly cause death. No, this was a lash mean to hurt, to inflict pain ... hard pain ... but nothing more.

At that moment, I surprised myself. I realized I could take this, that it hurt like hell, but it was not insurmountable. I could do this, as Brooke had.

"Again?" Aaron asked.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

CRACK! Another blow came now, this time lower, at the small of my back. Another scream as the fire erupted from the lash, the sting, the intense pain. My face contorted in a grimace, my eyes closed down hard under the blindfold, tears leaking now, wetting the blindfold. I tensed all the muscles in my body, focusing past the pain, trying to focus on the memory of the pleasure between my legs, grasping at it to bring it out to counteract the intensity of the pain in my back. I clenched my teeth and winced, awaiting yet another blow.

CRACK! Another strike, and another scream, this lash across my ass. Yes, I could call it nothing else. I was no longer the classy attorney, the reserved wholesome woman I was before. I was now almost like an animal, tied essentially naked and suspended and whipped for someone else's pleasure. I had to focus on my pleasure now, bring it up, remind myself of how it felt. In essence, it worked. At that moment, I sensed it, forced it to appear, so even though I wasn't being touched in any pleasurable way, I actually felt the pleasure in me rise!

Aaron hesitated, so I nodded, and another CRACK! and another lash, across my thighs this time. My scream diminished, as I didn't have the energy any longer to voice it fully, yet, oh my gosh it was so intense! The fire coursing through my body took over, enveloping me, gathering between my legs and moving upward, melding with the fire in my back, my ass, my legs.

Another CRACK!, another diminished scream, this time near my shoulders. It didn't matter where he hit now. Anywhere he hit, the fire coursed through me, over me, into me. Now, though, I felt it. That same feeling that had overcome me the first time I was with Aaron, the feeling that I wasn't doing this, that I wasn't the one being whipped, that I was instead outside of myself, watching. I could see Aaron (well, it was more probably that I could just sense him, but my mind filled in what my eyes could not see. I could see Aaron behind me, the black whip in his hand, the sweat beading on his brow as he drew back for another swing. What struck me was the look on his face. It was a look of concern. He was not enjoying this, even as he wound up for another strike.

CRACK! The blow came across my ass. I stifled a scream. I focused completely on the fire now, the intense fire in my back and ass, my shoulders and thighs. Along with that, the fire between my legs, inside me, buried behind my clitoris, building and building and combining.

And then, all at once, the fire erupting through me like nothing I could ever contemplate experiencing. It was like the fire of pain and pleasure spread throughout my being to the point where it erupted into me, through me, and out of me, every cell in my body coursing with the combined fire that was at its essence both pleasure and pain. I felt it in my body, through my whole body, from the tips of my toes, into every finger, even in my face, through every fiber of my being. Using the word 'orgasm' would be too simple. This was mind blowing, mind altering ... an existential experience unlike anything I could have dreamed. It was as indescribable in its feeling and intensity as it would be to try to describe the forming of the universe.

What's more, it didn't diminish. As the fire spread, the intensity remained. I went through me in waves. I wasn't aware of this at that moment, but I collapsed, my knees giving out, yet I remained suspended overhead by my arms. I had the feeling of being weightless, my muscles tensing in ripples completely throughout my body as I felt the waves of euphoria wash over me again and again and again.

To someone looking on, it would probably appear that I passed out, but I was conscious, my hearing and other senses dulled by what was happening inside me. I didn't know it then but I held in my breath, my mind being unable to focus on anything physical. Outwardly, for all intents and purposes I appeared like a lifeless body. But inside, I still felt the waves of fire and energy as they rippled through me. These selfsame waves caused my muscles to spasm, and I had no control over my body or my muscles, at least no conscious control. I was solely enveloped in the intensity of the moment ... a moment that seemed to go on and on forever.

I was vaguely aware of Aaron. He had dropped the whip and come up behind me, spinning me to face him, ripping the blindfold off, up and over my head. My eyes were only half open, and though the light came rushing back, I didn't even blink. I saw a look of concern and fear in Aaron's face. Though I had never seen him like that before, I was still unable to react to anything else. He was saying something I couldn't make out, not yet, as I was still in the throes of whatever had come over me. With one arm, with a strength I didn't know he had, he grabbed me and lifted me up as he stood. My arms came unhooked above me, but they were still attached to each other at my wrists. As my arms fell limply down, they fell over Aaron's head and around his shoulders.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!!" I heard Aaron screaming, but to me, it was a faint whisper. All my senses were still subsumed by the ecstasy that held me in its thrall. He began shaking me, dropping us both to our knees, his other hand going to my face, my eyelid, lifting it, trying to peer into me, to see if there was some semblance of life still left in me. I still couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't tell him that I was okay, as it seemed my mind was disconnected completely from my body.

"Elizabeth!!!" he screamed again, "what have I done?" He had a look of panic in his face now. Tears were starting to streak from the corners of his eyes. It was the look of someone who was so frozen by fear that they couldn't act in any other way.

I felt the ripples of energy coursing through me finally begin to subside. I was still unable to move, but I had a stronger grasp of my surroundings, of Aaron holding me, both of his arms around me, mine still bound together and wrapped around his neck, my head now slumped forward. He was kissing my forehead, begging me to wake up, to be okay. "Elizabeth, please, I'm so sorry ...." he was saying, "I should never have done this! I never wanted to. You should have made me stop ... I had no idea it was hurting you like this!! Please, my Elizabeth, please be okay ..."

The way he said that last sentence, it felt like he was giving up. It trailed off in volume, like he was accepting that it was over, that I was lost. I struggled to move, to say something, to do anything to let him know that I was still alive, but I was slow in regaining my own senses, my own control over myself.

What did he say though? I recalled his words. Why did he apologize? This is what I wanted, what I asked for. I can understand his regret at doing this, but why did he say he never wanted to? Didn't he like doing this? As a dominant and sadist, didn't they get their excitement from inflicting pain on others?

At that moment, in my semi-conscious state, I realized what this encounter, this 'adventure' involved. Not just this moment, this instant, this encounter, but all of it. Aaron. Me. BDSM. Bondage. Discipline. Domination. Submission. Sadism. Masochism. All of the words, all of what the words represented, and how they related to me, to us, to the relationship between us and how they affected us, our lives, our innermost feelings.

Aaron wasn't a sadist. He wasn't doing this because he received pleasure from injuring others, or more specifically, from injuring women. He didn't enjoy striking and beating and torturing women. From his words and his actions right now, and maybe everything he had done up to this point in time, I realized that a sadist was not who he was. He was the opposite. He enjoyed doing it for us, for the women under his domination. He did it only to help provide the enjoyment that we craved, the enjoyment of the submission. It was the erotic act of submitting ourselves to be punished and have pain or bondage inflicted on us by him that he liked. He liked to help us, to help me, achieve the level of enjoyment I desired. It didn't matter whether we liked to be tickled, lightly spanked, heavy whipping, or even just simple restraint. He got his pleasure in our pleasure ... in the pleasure we took from what he did!

As I thought of that over and over, I realized something else too. The power here was not in the dominant, in Aaron ... the power was in us, in the submissive, in me. With a word, I could stop this, as I had done when I used my safe word before. I could leave at any moment and not look back. I could stay or leave the Society. I could do this for the rest of my life, with any man or woman I chose, or reject anyone that didn't suit my fancy. I was the submissive, yet the power to choose, to act or not act, was totally within me. The power was mine and mine alone.