Finding Serenity

//This is a fictional story and has no basis in reality.

Finding Serenity

Prologue

My mother used to call me pessimistic. She told me I was too passive, not taking chances in life unless the odds were absolutely in my favor. Today I would agree with her observations, but at the time I argued I was not a pessimist, as much as a realist. To me, those traits were vastly different, but my mother disagreed, saying they were two sides of the same coin. I have since come to agree with her view of life, and I can now proudly call myself an optimist. How did I come about such a drastic change of views? Well, I learned that life is not always as realistic as I used to believe, and when you open yourself up to opportunities, things are far more likely to fall in your favor.

Chapter One: Out of Place

Walking into the Los Angeles Convention Center immediately rankled me. I had to practically squeeze between people and worry they would somehow damage the camera equipment in my backpack. And I was only in the Entrance Hall. The clamor of thousands of excited anime fans made me promptly stop and put in my ear defenders. I took a deep breath and continued towards the Main Hall.

I fervently wished I could turn back and leave. Photographing a wedding would have been far less painful than this, and I hated doing weddings. Alas, work was scarce, and I felt I needed to do something.

It was not that I was against Event Photography altogether, I had done some of my best work in events, but an Anime Expo was a very different event than I was used to. I was not into Anime myself, and I believed many of those who were, would be recluses and other odd people who never left their homes for anything else. The only solace I could find was the fact that my subjects would be professional Cosplayers, and they tended to be a lot more pleasant and easy on the eye than the average eventgoer.

The Main Hall grew louder the closer I got, and I realized I would need coffee to survive the day. So, I went to a small refreshment stand on the outskirts of the main attraction and waited in a queue of men I could have smelled from the other side of the venue. I tried to put on a pleasant face as they spared me a glance, but they quickly went back to their conversation. I turned around to gauge the large building, I had no idea where I was to do my work yet, my instructions had been very vague. I decided I would need to find a map to learn where I was supposed to go.

A group of three ladies distracted me from my thoughts as they passed me by. Two of them wore their expertly crafted cosplay with pride, showing off large amounts of cleavage and other voluptuous womanly shapes. They were quite beautiful, but my eyes were drawn to a smaller lady in the middle. She too, showed some skin in her simpler white top and black skirt, but more than anything her face was what stunned me. Her skin looked soft, and her dark eyes were big enough to lose yourself in. She had a certain nervous energy in her look that she was clearly trying to hide. I was glad to see she had the two more confident ladies with her to make her feel safer.

"Sir?"

I jumped and then turned around awkwardly.

"Sorry, I... a coffee please, black." I stuttered.

"Certainly, anything else for you today?" the barista asked.

"No, that will be all."

She turned around to prepare my coffee and I looked back behind me, but the lady was gone. I hoped I would get to see her again, or perhaps even take her picture.

With my coffee in hand, my grumpiness began to dissipate. There was no use in constantly fretting over how much I disliked the convention and having to work it; better to just push through in silence and get the job done. Even the thought of seeing that gorgeous, petite lady again, put a spring in my step.

I pushed through the packed crowd of people, looking for the place I was supposed to set up my equipment. Even through my ear defenders, the sound was piercing. People blocked me every way I tried to move, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance. I tried not to think of the nearly five thousand dollars worth of camera equipment in my backpack.

"Excuse me," I said to a large man blocking the only opening between two stalls. He did not even hear me and continued his loud conversation with his friend.

I sighed audibly and turned around too quickly. I tried to steady myself from falling over, but in doing so my coffee spilled. It hit a girl straight over her neck and chest. She cried out in pain and winced.

"I'm so sorry," I said, not minding the scorching coffee that was searing my hand. She looked up at me and my heart skipped a beat. It was the lady I had just admired from afar. She held her arms out and looked at her top, a brown stain had already formed.

I was mortified. Beside me I found a table to place my cup, then I brought out a roll of paper I had in my backpack.

"Here," I offered.

She looked at me, not with anger as I might have expected after what I had just done to her, but with a hint of sadness. It was far more effective. I felt my heart tearing at the look of her mournful expression.

"It's okay," she told me without conviction.

"Emi?" A female voice called from the crowd, and then came to join us. It was one of the cosplayers she had been with previously. She walked up to us and at the sight of the girl, desperately trying to scrape stained coffee off her top, she opened her mouth in horror.

"Nooo, what happened?"

Before she had time to respond I interjected. "It was my fault, I accidentally bumped into her and spilled my coffee, I apologize."

The taller lady measured me with her eyes, then walked up close.

"What are you doing walking around carelessly with coffee in this crowded area? You've ruined my friend's cosplay." She spoke the words in outrage.

I looked at the floor shamefully as she chastised me.

"Jess, stop, it's okay, really. It was just an accident," Emi said.

The taller lady eyed me angrily one last time, and then went to her friend's side. "Let's go get you cleaned up as best we can."

I stood there feeling like a fool. I spoke up before they left me. "Is there anything I can do?"

Emi turned around as if to speak, but Jess replied first.

"I think you've done enough."

They turned their backs on me and walked away swiftly, somehow traversing the crowd far more successfully than I had managed.

For a moment I remained where I was, staring after them. I felt ashamed, my hand burned, but more than anything I hated the idea that I might have ruined someone's cosplay at a convention. She had tried to hold back most of her true emotion, but the sadness in her eye had still been evident. Seeing her beautiful face laden with grief broke my heart and spirit.

If I had been unhappy at the convention before, I was now miserable. Any little joy I could have found photographing people was now ruined knowing what I had done. Though I needed the money, and more than anything I felt the need to work, I decided I no longer could stomach staying at the Expo. I went to the bathroom to wash the coffee off my hands and then made for the exit.

On my way through the crowd, I was inadvertently turned around by the thickness of excited fans. The delay no longer angered me, all I could think about was what I had done. Instead of getting to the exit, I found myself at a booth selling cosplays. I stopped in my tracks, seeing an expertly crafted white dress. I had no idea who the cosplay portrayed, but I knew she would look incredible in it. I found myself approaching the booth despite how stupid of an idea it was. The thing would cost a fortune, she might not even want it, and she might already be gone. The reasons not to buy it were overwhelming, but I did not stop.

Chapter Two: Guilt

Seconds after my impulsive decision to buy a five-hundred-dollar cosplay for a girl I had barely said ten words to, I started feeling like a fool. How would I ever find her again in this massive convention? I decided I would try the bathrooms even though I had not seen them when I had been there myself. Perhaps they were still desperately trying to clean out the coffee stains. I walked to the nearest bathrooms, and then further down the convention center, but there was no sign on them.

I felt stupid walking around with an expensive dress in my hands and started to wonder if I should just see if I could still return it. It seemed hopeless to find one specific girl in a hall of thousands of people, but just before I turned around, I saw someone I did recognize. It was not her, nor was it the 'Jess' lady, but I was almost certain she was the other woman Emi was here with. She hurried with a bag in her hands out of the crowd.

"Excuse me?" I called to her and hurried after. She did not turn around.

"Hey, excuse me?"

This time she glanced back at me and then stopped.

"Yes?" she said with annoyance in her voice. She held herself proud and I had to employ all my will not to glance at her enormous cleavage right in front of my face.

"Sorry to bother you, but I saw you with two other ladies before, and I need to find them. I believe their names were Emi and Jess."

She eyed me questioningly. "Why do you need to find them?" She glanced at the dress in my hands and then back to me. "Are you the one who spilled coffee on Emi?"

"Yes," I said with a sorrowful voice. "I felt so bad ruining her cosplay that I bought this for her." I held up the dress for the lady and she studied it with an impressed expression.

I continued, "I have no idea if it's something she would want to wear, or if it even fits her. But I just wanted to do something to tell her I'm sorry. If she doesn't like it, she is welcome to swap it out for something else."

The lady studied me slowly as I spoke and then reached out her hand to me. "I'm Jenna, come with me."

I briefly greeted her and then followed her further into the Main Hall. The crowd seemed to part ways everywhere she walked, giving her plenty of space. Before I knew it, we reached the other side of the Convention Center, where another set of bathrooms were located.

"Wait here," Jenna told me and then went inside.

I stood outside the girls' bathroom holding a dress for several minutes, as people walked by, eyeing me strangely. Eventually, the three ladies came out together. Jenna and Jess came first, and they were trailed by Emi. I saw the clear mark of coffee on her top, now slightly smudged. They had unsuccessfully tried to wash it away.

Jess had still not forgiven me, she eyed me critically as she walked past me, but I found I didn't care much what she thought. My eyes went to Emi, and I tried to gauge whether she was still upset over what I had done to her. Before I could get a good reading of her, she saw the dress in my hand. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she walked up to me.

"You bought an Albedo cosplay?" she asked incredulously. "For me?"

I smiled at her. The joy in her voice immediately put me in a better mood.

"I just wanted to try and make it up to you, I did mess up your current cosplay."

Jess and Jenna stood a few paces away from us, clearly still watching over Emi. It made me happy knowing she was looked after; she was such a precious thing.

As Emi came closer to inspect the dress I held up for her, I saw more closely how badly my coffee had burnt her. The beautiful pale skin just under her throat had reddened and looked painful.

"Does that hurt?" I asked, stupidly pointing at her chest.

She looked at me with an odd uncertainty and then remembered. "Oh, that, no it's not so bad." She ran her fingers over the soft fabric of the dress. "This is beautiful, but I can't accept it, I know how much this will have cost you."

I could see the want in her eyes through her polite rejection.

"I'm afraid I must insist, this would look great on you."

She flashed a smile at me, but she was still reluctant until Jenna joined us.

"You should take it Emi, he's right. This would suit you well, we clearly can't get rid of the stain so let's get you in another cosplay."

Emi's eyes went from Jenna's to mine tentatively. I extended my arm, offering the dress and the other accessories that went with the cosplay.

She finally dared to accept my gift.

"Thank you, I will go put this on right now if you want to see how it looks."

"I would love that," I said truthfully.

As she walked back into the bathroom I turned to Jess and Jenna, on a normal day I would have been more excited being around beautiful women such as them, but I found my admiration was reserved for Emi. Jess seemed to have slightly warmed up to me after I had extended my gift to her friend. She no longer scowled at me, at least, but there was still no kindness from her.

"We should go see if Emi needs any help," Jess said to Jenna. She did not include me in her look.

They left me alone outside the bathrooms. I felt a nervous excitement waiting for Emi to come out. "Would it fit her?" I thought to myself. She was a very small lady. I had not had any measurements to give to the lady who sold the cosplays, only a brief description and guesswork.

I heard awe and excitement before they opened the door. Jess and Jenna came out first, they both smiled excitedly as they held up the door for Emi. She was stunning. She did not walk out with any real pride or showmanship as I expected Jess or Jenna might have. Instead, she stepped through the door as a normal person might, unaware of her angelic beauty. My mouth practically hung open at the sight of her.

"Wow," I said in awe.

She smiled at me, and my heart skipped a beat.

"I love it, thank you so much." She spun around slowly in the dress, letting me see the full cosplay I had bought for her. It was a thin white dress lined with gold. It bared the side of her enticing thighs and stomach, as well as her delicate shoulders.

"It looks so good on you, Emi," Jenna joined in.

"Thank you," she said and smiled at her friend.

I suddenly felt intrusive, and like I had taken up enough of their time. In my heart, I wanted to stay with Emi and get to know her more, but it just didn't feel right to force my presence on them.

"Well, I should leave you girls alone. Again, I'm so sorry about my clumsiness earlier, I hope this cosplay can make your day a little better."

I thought I saw a hint of disappointment from Emi as I announced my departure, she spoke up before I could leave.

"Don't feel bad, I forgive you. This cosplay more than made up for it. Are you sure you want me to have it? I could pay you for it..."

"No," I interjected more harshly than I had intended. "If you do want to give me something, let me photograph you, that's why I am here." I leaned to my side to show the bag of camera equipment on my back. "I'm a photographer, I'm working this event," I clarified.

"Of course, we have an appointment for another shoot soon, but I promise I'll come to you later."

I smiled, "I'm looking forward to it.

With that, we parted ways again, but this time I was not left mortified, rather she had put a spring in my step. I couldn't help but surrender a few glances to Emi as she walked away between her friends. When I was by myself again, the event no longer seemed like a mistake to me. The noise of the crowd was not as bad anymore, and I even seemed to move through the horde of anime fans with more ease. It was amazing how a few moments with her changed my whole outlook on the day.

Chapter Three: Gratitude

The day flew by swifter after that. I found joy in my work, I took great photographs of many talented cosplayers, and I even got talking with some eventgoers who were not cosplayers, but merely anime fans. I learned they weren't so much different from myself, and it made me reflect on my prejudicial mindset.

To my grave disappointment, Emi or her friends did not come to me while I worked. The reason my mood had been so good was that I was excited for when she would come to me, but by the time I had packed up and was ready to leave, most of my positive spirits were gone. I had planned to leave earlier, but she made me stay until it was closing time. I could not stand the idea she might show up later, only to miss me because I had left.

But after discovering she would not come, I wish I had left earlier. My stomach protested audibly, and I decided I would stop by some fast-food place before I went back home. The Main Hall was nearly empty as I made my way toward the exit. A few devoted fans had decided to stay as long as they were allowed, but mostly it was just event workers and other officials left.

"Wait!" A voice called from behind me.

I turned around to see her approach me, she still had the elegant cosplay I had bought for her. Again, my mood immediately improved upon seeing her.

"Oh, there you are," I said welcomely, but I could not help but think my word choice sounded spiteful.

"I'm so sorry, I got caught up and lost track of time."

Her language might have sounded like she was careless or making excuses, but there was a sincerity in her voice I did not doubt.

"It's alright," I said with my kindest voice, I just wanted to make her feel better. "Did you have a fun day?"

Her worry seemed to dissipate from my comforting tone, she was silent for a moment as if gauging me, then flashed a smile at me and answered.

"I had a great day, this cosplay you got me is so beautiful, and much more unique than the Tifa cosplay I had before."

I found myself smiling widely at her as she continued speaking.

"My viewers liked it too; I had a meet and greet. There were a lot of people, so time kind of got away from me." She looked up at me with guilt in her eyes.

"Your viewers?" I asked. "Are you famous or something?"

She gave me a look of surprise but then smiled. "Not really, I'm just a Twitch streamer."

"Oh," I said stupidly. "That's cool."

"If you want, how about we find a nice spot somewhere close, and you let me take a couple pictures? There is a park right around the corner from here," I asked the question openly, but after speaking, realized my words might have come off as creepy.

She did not seem to think so. Her eyes lit up. "Yes! I would love to. I don't feel like I got any good pictures from today."

My heart raced but I tried to remain calm and collected. I glanced around the venue and asked, "And your friends? Where are they?"

"They left already, I told them I wanted to see if I could find you and apologize. They were reluctant to let me go alone, but here I am." She smiled at me mischievously and I returned it.

"Shall we?"

And so, we left the expo together. Many fans stopped Emi to get a last chance of a photo with her and I was starting to wonder how famous this girl was. It made me feel even more honored to get to do a shoot of her.

As we got away from the convention center and the constant noise of a crowd, I felt my whole body relax. I had become accustomed to the cacophony, as you do, but it was only after I was relieved from it that I realized how stressful it had been.

"I never got your name," Emi said suddenly.

I realized I might have enjoyed the quiet so much I had made our walk awkward. I cursed my wandering mind and gave her my name.

"And you are, Emi, right? That's what your friends called you."

She studied me intently. "Yes...short for Emiru, but Emi is fine."

I could see she was still surprised that I did not know who she was, I supposed most people who went to an anime convention did.

The fresh air of the park was all the sweeter after a day of breathing the foulness of the convention center. I inhaled deeply, just enjoying the feel of nature in my lungs.

"We should find a spot before it gets dark," Emi said.

She was right. We still had daylight, but it was quickly diminishing.

"How about by the pond? The light looks good there." I offered.