All Comments on 'Finding the One Ch. 01'

will read more

A great start to a new story.

I can assure that it is a bad idea to mix personal and business life, except a few cases (very few, by the way).

Those of us who are paranoid with our privacy have these kinds of problems, we do not trust anyone, and when we finally do, we do it with the wrong person. I hope this story has a happy ending, I like Marc.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Great start to the story. I can relate to the need to keep business and pleasure separate, and to the lengths some women will go to obtain contact information. I look forward to future chapters to see where this story will go as there are several alternatives. You have me intrigued and hooked to see where this is going!

I think the narrative when he was breaking off the relationship should have included a response to her comment that she faked every orgasm with him. He should have said that he finally figured that out and realized there was no connection between them. It may have occurred, but would have fleshed out their incompatibility for the readers.

I agree with sidney43

Interesting start looking forward to the next chapter.

The kinds of relationship developers possible is always a fascinating subject. He did have a very strong reaction to the young lady who try to pick him and up and I am surprised that he kicked her to the curb so easily.

Good job. I will be looking for the next chapter.

Possibilities and questions galore.

I honestly do not think you had to abandon the metric system to appease your American readers: the rest of the world is metric. Time for them to wake up and sniff the latte! Your command of the English language is exemplary, your spelling and grammatical miscues far less than most native English speakers, and your plot lines are interestingly different. 5* throughout.

Maybe a little stilted in one or two places but excellent command of English. Looking forward to next chapter.

5 stars.

@Tootsall -- Speaking as an American, I can't argue with your overall point: it's high time we got off our asses and switched to a system of weights and measures that's actually systematic (pun intended). That said, a lot of American readers really, really hate it when a story uses metric measurements, especially if the story is set in the US (I haven't seen any clear cues in this one, but I do occasionally miss such things) or, even more importantly, written in the American dialect rather than one of the other English dialects, and since we're a pretty big market, I do think the author's decision is defensible. (Our refusal to switch to metric? Not so much.)

4star, maybe 5 star. just not sure of the girl chatting him up at the bar.