Finding

"So, I'd bet tomorrow's lunch that your mystery phone is no longer there. Care to take that wager?" she asked as we pulled out on our way back to work.

"No bet. I'm pretty sure you're right, and Vickie even rang the phone to make it faster for Clara to recover it; that's what the phone call was, I'd bet. I'd have to double check the clone, but it vibrated during her call."

"So, Vickie, then, is no help in figuring out who... more about the mystery phone? She's more of an accomplice?"

"Seems so, Kate. I'm going to be going through the texts, call logs, and emails on the phone to figure out what's going on, but I have to say... I'm worried. Very worried."

"Then... what's next?" she asked me.

"I don't know yet. I just don't know. But if it's the worst... I can't, I won't, accept that." We drove back to the office in silence after that.

Back at the office, I went through the last of the things I couldn't put off until the following day, and then pulled out the clone. An ironically funny thought went to through my mind. "Don't you love a farce? Your fault, I fear. I thought I could trust you so much, sorry my dear. But where are the clones? Send in the clones. Don't bother, it's here." I mumbled, as I sat with it. Kate, overhearing that from her desk, started laughing.

"First time I ever heard someone make up a satire version of a song, Weird Al style, and you pick 'Send in the clowns'? Man, Joe, you've got a dark sense of humor." she chuckled.

"Sorry, sometimes I can't keep myself from making up stupid lyrics for old songs when I'm feeling stressed. It's actually not a good sign," I apologized.

I spent the next hour going through emails and texts; there weren't huge numbers of them, but there were some. The call logs and contacts list clued me in that there wouldn't be a whole lot of folks to go through; the only contacts on the phone were "V," me, under my name, (though she'd never called or texted me from the phone), Clara herself, "H," and "CCC."

The "CCC" number was an toll-free phone number, so using my office phone, I called it; it turned out to be Visa, which was interesting, but I assumed that 'CCC' therefore meant "Credit Card Company." Since I didn't have the account number it wanted, I just hung up.

Clara's contact list included her work phone number, her cellphone number, and an unknown number marked "Mobile" two cellphone numbers seemed odd, but I resisted calling it to see what it was.

"V" had four numbers, one marked "Home", one "Work", and two "Mobile". I noticed, with some interest, that the "Work" number had the same prefix as Clara's work number. From that, I assumed that the number was one of Clara's coworkers. Putting two and two together (and confirming it tentatively with the call log, which showed a call from one of "V's Mobile" numbers during lunch, I decided that "V" was Vickie. It didn't explain why Vickie had two mobile numbers, of course, but Vickie wasn't my issue.

That left "H", with only a single number, uncategorized. I didn't recognize it, and couldn't call it, as it was a local number. However, the call log showed it was rarely called, on average once a week over the last eight months. The "CCC" number was called even more rarely, twice a month on average.

It was the calls to Vickie that were high, and the only texts were from Vickie, almost all from one of the two mobiles. Checking the call log, 90% or more of the phone calls were also to that number.

I decided to do a reverse search for the number marked "H." That was where I got my next shock. According to Google, "H" was the local number for the Hollow Grove Motor Hotel... a No-Tell Motel a few miles from where my wife worked Who was she going to the motel with, or was she even going? Was she stepping out on me at all? If not, why the motel, why the unknown credit card, and why the unknown phone?

It didn't make sense.

I did what any man would do. I looked up the cost of a private detective. Yeah, right, I told myself when I saw those costs. What viable options existed? The only one I saw was doing the work myself, using the bugged mystery phone as my information source.

Nothing came up the rest of the day. I did take care to notice that the phone went to my wife's work and stayed there until she was ready to go home; she made a stop at the Chinese takeout we often used, but then went home. There were no calls or texts on the phone during that time. I left the clone phone in my car overnight, as I couldn't think of a good way to hide it at the house, but I wanted it nearby, in case some "sudden emergency" pulled Clara out of the house.

At night, Clara was normal, loving, and funny. She was relaxed, more relaxed than normal, in fact. If I hadn't known she wasn't drinking, I'd have thought she had a bit of a buzz, in fact. I was puzzled by that, unless she was somehow having a high from "having put one over on Joe." My mood was more reserved, though she didn't seem to pick up on it. That night, she offered some loving, and I partook of my carnal relations with her. So sue me, I wasn't separated or divorced, and while things didn't look good, there was always a chance I could be wrong and that it was something else. Who knows, maybe Clara and Vickie were starting some kind of Tupperware business on the side and meeting the other ladies at a No-Tell Motel.

Yeah, right. But the chance wasn't zero, which would be how much I'd get from Clara if she was cheating, and I divorced her. So yeah, little head said "friendly pussy," and I said "Why, yes, yes it is, indeed, and quite warm and welcoming."

I'm not sure I slept well, afterwards, though.

Thursday came far too early, or too late, depending on your point of view. Clara woke me up for a quickie, a rarity in the morning before work. She and I then showered, dressed, had breakfast, kissed, and left to our respective jobs, as we had a thousand times before. However, the clone phone vibrated in my pocket part way through the commute. My anxiety level went up when I felt that!

I grabbed my stuff and the phone, and went to my office. Kate was already there, waiting, with a worried look on her face. She closed the door after I got in, and we reviewed the short call that had happened.

"So, are we on for today?" I heard Vickie ask when Clara answered.

"Oh yeah. I've got a bit of a surprise for you, too. Joe and I got busy last night, and I wanted to give you a treat, so we got busy this morning, too." Clara shockingly replied.

"Oh goody! Hot Cream of Clara, with a touch of morning Joe, my favorite breakfast!" was Vickie reply back.

What. The. Fuck?

Clara wasn't cheating on me with some guy, she was cheating on me with a woman! Kate gasped, and threw her arms around me when she heard that.

"I'm on my way there. I'll get the room. We have all day, today, as I finished up today's work early." I heard Clara giggling.

"Okay, see you in twenty, hot and creamy stuff!" Vickie laughingly responded, before hanging up.

I turned my head towards Kate and said, "So, at least it's not some other guy. But cheating is cheating, and what the hell? She's going to take my cre... um... uh... um... uh, sorry. I didn't think."

"Your wife is feeding her cream pie, your cream pie, to her lesbian lover. That what you were about to say?" Kate shockingly stated. My jaw bounced on my chest before I stammered a reply.

"Uh, yeah, but I didn't want to... you know... create an uncomfortable, sexually harassing atmosphere. I caught myself. I'm not going to be able to make it paying alimony and losing my job because you reported me for an angry remark not directed at you."

"Why would I report my future boyfriend?" Kate asked, still hugging me.

"What? Future boyfriend?"

"Yep, I told you I'd help you get through this. And I'm staking a claim. You've already used the alimony word, which means you're going for a divorce, right?"

"Uh... yeah?" I asked, now completely stunned.

"You're a good guy, sweet, smart, funny, not bad looking, make good money, I know you're as loyal as the day is long. Why wouldn't a girl want to nab a guy like that when he comes on the market?" she explained. "So, the question is how fast we can get the paperwork done. Hey, maybe we can get her served at the motel today! Then you can take me out tomorrow!"

"Wha...?" I replied, stunned by the speed and earnestness of Kate's decision to throw her... well, I would say "Hat in the ring," but more crudely and honestly, "Her panties on my face" might be more accurate judging by her tone and the look on her face. I suddenly felt like the last cupcake at a five-year-old's birthday party.

It was only for a moment. "Right. Yes. Let's.. uh... find a lawyer. Let's get the ball rolling.". I became more confident as I spoke, noticing for the first time how soft Kate's breasts were, smashed against my chest. "If we hurry, maybe we can do this, at least while they're still at the motel."

Kate let me go, walked to her desk, and pulled a paper from her purse with a name and address. "Your appointment is at 9:00. I wanted to be prepared."

Again, I was stunned. "You made the appointment already?"

"I wanted you to have a good lawyer already locked and loaded if the worst happened, and to know what your options were. I like being efficient to ensure that I save time for better things later." With that, she threw on a sexy pout on her lips, then lightly flicked her tongue over them. The speed things were going was beyond my comprehension. "I'll go with you, if you want."

"Uh, sure. Let's get going, I guess."

With that pathetic start, I was on my way.

We met the lawyer, on time, at 9:00; I think we were the first appointment for the day. The lawyer, Lucille, was an older, well-dressed woman. She had a hungry look, reminding me more of a hyena than a shark. We greeted each other, and I filled her in on what we knew, my family situation in regards children, our incomes and retirement.

"Well, the bad news is that we're in a no-fault state, meaning that you can't use this against her. It does not, however, stop you from filing, and without kids, a divorce would go through if she doesn't fight it. If she does, then the price goes up, and time goes up. Since you're filing, you'll end up paying the court costs. You also make twenty percent more than she does, and have a better retirement package. You'll pay alimony, and may have to cede over a small amount out of your 401K. It won't be onerous, however. You house will either be sold, or one or the other of you will have to buy the other out. With me so far?"

"Yes ma'am."

"It's Lucille, Joe. We're going to be talking a lot, so I want you comfortable. Now, I can get the paperwork drawn up and filed fairly quickly since it's straightforward. When, and where, do you want to serve her, or are you going to just ask her to come in?"

"Well... I'd like to have her served today, before 4:00 this afternoon, at the motel she's sharing with her lover for a tryst."

"Today? Ok... that's... not normally something we can do. I'd have to call in some favors."

"Aunt Lucille, I've made Joe aware I'm staking a claim, and want him to take me out tomorrow. He can't, we can't, do that unless she's been served," Kate begged. Aunt Lucille? Wait, my lawyer was Kate's aunt?

"This is the guy you wouldn't talk about, Katie? This is him? I should have realized when you came with him after asking for an emergency appointment last night. For my favorite niece, I'll call in those favors," Lucille answered Kate.

"Aunt Lucille? Katie? Uh..." I started to stammer.

"Yes, I'm railroading you. Deal with it, Joe," Kate replied. "I know what I want, and now that Clara has screwed up, nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to stop me."

Lucille started laughing. "She definitely gets that attitude from my side of the family, Joe. You're dealing with a force of nature, you know. I'll have the paperwork turned around by noon, and filed by 1:00; do you want to be there when she's served, or do you want to do it? And lastly, do I need to get an order keeping her from the house so that you can inhabit it while the divorce processes?"

"Uh... yes, and I'd like to be there."

Fast forward five-and-a-half hours. There I sat, with Kate in my car in the motel parking lot, having changed the locks on the house over the last three hours (thank god for Home Depot!), waiting for the server to arrive with the paperwork. A young blonde woman, driving a mid 2000s Ford Mustang, pulled up, parked nearby, got out of her car and reached in to grab a small satchel and a camera. Looking around, she spied me sitting in the car, and walked over.

Walking up to my open window, she asked "Joe Hardesty?"

"Yes, that's me." I replied to the bubblegum popping younger 20-something woman.

"Which room? And can you show me a picture?" I pulled out my phone and pulled up a picture of Clara, and pointed to the room in front of my wife's car.

"Okay, you can either stay here, or come over, but I need you at least fifteen feet away, and off to one side; you can stand in front of the door to the room to the right of your wife's. I just need her to not see you."

"Oh, okay." I left Kate in the car and walked over to the door she mentioned. While I did, the process server walked over to her car, popped the trunk, and emerged with a black over coat and a white maid's hat after rummaging for a moment. Donning them, she approached the door, looking (from the waist up) like one of the maids.

She knocked on the door; waited, then knocked again. She called out "Mrs. Hardesty? Motel Guest Service, I need to come in for a moment." I heard muffled voices from inside, but it was a good three minutes before the door opened.

I could see Clara step out, wearing her dress, but not her hose or shoes, but turned as she was, she didn't realize I was there watching. "Mrs. Clara Hardesty? Do you have an ID? We didn't get a copy when you checked in. I can just take a quick picture, since we only need an electronic one."

Dazed, and ticked off to be interrupted, my wife went back in before returning with her purse a moment later. Showing her license, the server had her hold it, then handed her the small folder of papers. Clara looked down at the papers, then looked up just in time to see the camera flash and the server say "Clara Hardesty, you've been served."

"Wait, what?" Clara asked, as the server started walking to the Mustang. Following her out a little, once she hit the curb, I coughed, loudly, in order to draw her attention. Clara instinctively turned towards the sound, not registering that I was standing there until I spoke.

"I've changed the locks, Clara. Don't come home. You can pick up your things on Saturday. I hope Vickie was worth it." She didn't even have the ability to speak as her face went slack, her eyes wide.

I had already opened the door to the car before she found a voice. It wasn't articulate, but it was a voice. I'll always remember: the wail that escaped her mouth as she started screaming and moaning at the same time "Noooooooooo."

I guess no one expects to be caught when they set out to cheat.

"So, where am I taking you tomorrow?" I asked Kate as I started the car and pulled out.

"Oh, somewhere that I can wear a slinky dress and make your eyes pop out. I know I have to tease you for the next few months while we wait, but I want your tongue hanging out while you wait."

Oh boy! Somehow, I don't think I'm in control of my life anymore! I know there will be ups and downs in the next few months, but life isn't going to be boring.

----------------

So, that's the story Finding. Why Finding? Because it meant "Finding a Phone", "Finding out", "Finding a new woman", and "Finding I couldn't come up with one title to rule them all". Oh well!

Some of you may say "FTDS!"

Well, it IS finished, at least as much as it absolutely needs to be. I may, in fact, "finish it" one day. I may not. Some of you who held on this long may have a desire to see how it goes in your way. I invite you to do so. Consider this an invitational, ala the now infamous "February Sucks" invitational, or "Just once, if you don't mind" sequence. To paraphrase Southwest Airlines says, you can take it nearly anywhere from here, and I hope someone does; I'd love to see other folks endings, and I guarantee, I'll read every one of them if you write them.