Fire Fire

"My wants costed him his life." Garrett whispered.

"You were unhappy. We all are. No one is happy in the closet." Love said.

"I should have listen to him." Garrett said.

"You had every right to your freedom." Love tried to convince him. Garrett just shook his head. Love closed his eyes. "It wouldn't have gone any better, if you hadn't come out." Love said.

"You don't know that." Garrett shook his head.

"But...I do." Love whispered. Garrett looked up at Love, confused.

"I'll tell you what happened to Reed." Love said.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two months before

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, baby." Reed kissed Love's cheek. Love groaned and stretched. His back cracked and he winced.

"This job is hell on my back." He mumbled.

"Damn right. Here, I made breakfast." Reed smiled. Love opened his eyes and smiled at the plate of deformed pancakes.

"You know you cant cook worth a damn." Love said.

"I know, but it's the thought that counts, right? You don't have to eat them." Reed laughed. He set the plate down, an accepting but somewhat sad look in his eyes. Love stared at him and rolled his eyes, smiling. He reached for the plate and began eating the semi-burned pancakes.

"They're not bad." Love smiled.

"Really?" Reed beamed like a child who's parents had praised him.

"Yeah." Love lied, they tasted like burnt horse shit. But he put on a fake smile anyways.

"I'm gonna go make more." Reed skipped off.

"Oh jesus what have I done." Love asked himself. He looked around before taking the pancakes off the plate and stuffing them between the two mattress's he sat on.

"You ate quick." Reed smiled.

"Really hungry, I thought you were making more?"

"We're out of flour." Reed said. Love silently thanked god.

"Oh, are you on call tonight?" Love asked.

"Yeah, we both are." Reed curled up in bed again.

"Damn." Love cuddled into Reed's chest.

"Yeah, but we can still spend the day together." Reed said.

"The chief wanted us at the house, today." Love pouted.

"Fuck, cant a guy get some ass without his boss butting in?" Reed asked, squeezing Love's ass playfully. Love smiled. but stayed quiet.

"Is that all I am to you? A piece of ass?" Love asked.

"What? No, it was just a joke. I'm sorry." Reed kissed him. Love smiled at the kiss and began dozing on Reed's chest. "We need to get dressed, Chief will want us there early I'm sure." Reed said.

"Yeah... Okay." Love said. He got up, and began getting ready.

~~~~~~~

Reed and Love walked through the door to the firehouse at the same time.

"Where have you two been?" Adams asked.

"None of your fuckin' business. Where's my coffee?" Love smiled.

"In the pantry, waiting for you to make it." Adams smiled, and sipped his own weak coffee.

"There you two are...Did you come in together?" The chief asked.

"Yeah, we saw each other on the street." Reed said. The Chief shrugged and was about to say something when the alarm went off.

~~~~~~~~

Present day

~~~~~~~~

"So you two started seeing each other?" Garrett asked.

"Yeah. He was so outgoing. He wanted to come out. I didn't. I was scared. So he kept lying, for me. It just made him upset. He wanted to be with me, but he was unhappy." Love said.

~~~~~~~~

One month before

~~~~~~~~

"Why are you so scared all the time, Love?" Reed shouted. "All I want is to be able to walk down the street and hold your hand, is that so much to ask god damn it?" In his anger he threw the glass cup at the wall. It shattered, sending water everywhere. Love sat there quietly while Reed yelled at him.

"I'm sorry." Love said quietly.

"I want to kiss you in public, I want to go on a date in THIS town. Not the next one over. I want to move in together, I want to be with you but I cant because if we're within a mile of ANYONE, you wont even let me touch you!" Reed shouted, his anger cooling. He sighed, his anger gone. He walked up to Love, who stood there like a scolded child. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and brought him to his chest. "I want to hold you after a long day. After a bad fire. I want to kiss you, and love you. But I cant, Love. You wont let me." Reed said, quietly.

"I'm sorry." Love repeated, just as quietly. Reed sighed and dropped his arms. He began backing towards the door. He threw his hands up.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Love. This wont work." Reed shook his head and opened the door.

"I..." Love didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry." Reed said the words this time. He opened the door, and left.

~~~~~~~~~~

Present day

~~~~~~~~~~

"He left me." Love said. "It was for the best, really. He deserved better. He wanted a relationship where he didn't have to lie everyday. I never resented him for that." Love said.

"But it had to be tough for you, to watch him walk out like that." Garrett said.

"It was, but I couldn't stop him. It wouldn't be fair." Love said.

"What did you do?" Garrett asked.

"Nothing. I didn't...I didn't have time to do anything." Love said. "There was no time." He whispered.

~~~~~~~~

Three weeks ago

~~~~~~~~

The fire was bad. A large apartment building had caught fire and it was coming down fast. Several trucks sat outside the burning building. Hoses were on and they were working out how many people were inside when the chief began making teams.

"Reed, you're on the axe. Love, crew leader. Ross, go in with them. Thomas and Adams, stay out here on hoses." The chief said. Several other crews had teams going in and they made sure they all could communicate with one another.

"Love, wait." Reed grabbed his arm before they climbed into the inferno.

"We don't have time for this, Reed." Love said. He turned on his radio, and pulled away from Reed.

"Fine, but after..." Reed said.

"Yeah, okay." Love nodded. Reed gave him a small smile and the team climbed into the building.

"We have a daughter and her dad on the third floor." Ross said.

"Is it really a good idea to go up that high?" Reed asked.

"It's on the south side of the building, it's blocked off by that corner market. We cant get to it with the ladder." Love explained.

"Well shit." Reed cursed quietly.

"The stairs are still intact over here, come on." Love said. Reed followed close behind him and Ross was at the back. They walked down the second floor and past an elevator. The doors were open and suddenly one of the large metal elevators came screaming down. Sparks flew and Love covered his face from the red and orange sparks. Someone was screaming and soon the elevator hit the ground floor, with a large crash that shook the building. The screams stopped.

"Holy shit..." Ross said. Reed gulped loudly and Love turned away from the gruesome scene that would lie at the bottom of the shaft.

"Come on." Love said. They continued walking through the hallway, looking for any sign of life in the red and black building. The walls were practically melting under the heat. They found the second set of stairs and began climbing.

"There's a piece of wall or some shit blocking off the top. Get up here, Reed." Love said. Reed pushed past him on the stairs and began hacking at the object blocking the hall. Finally it collapsed under the force of the axe and the small crew continued.

"I can hear them." Ross said. somewhere on the floor they could barely make out the cries for help. Reed lifted his mask for a second.

"Can you hear me?" He called out, before replacing his mask and taking a few deep breaths. There was no answer besides the cries for help.

"They must be farther down the hall." Love said. "Come on." They walked carefully over the weak floor and tried to find the source of the cries. The floor creaked and groaned more and more as they walked across the floor.

"We need to hurry up, this isn't going to hold much longer." Reed said.

"That's it, spread out. We need to find them now." Love said. The three men split up and began searching the hallway. They kicked and hacked down every door until there wasn't a single room on the floor left unchecked.

"They're not here, Chief!" Love shouted. They had wasted to much time.

"What? They said they were on the third."

"We can hear them." Reed said. "But we searched everywhere."

"Do you think they're a floor up?" Ross asked. They were silent.

"They could be below us." Reed said.

"No, we would have heard them down there. Ross is right, they must be on the fourth." Love said.

"Are we going? We need to move now if we are." Reed said.

"Chief?" Love asked, he wasn't allowed to make this kind of call.

"Go, quickly. Now." The chief said. The three men turned and walked as fast as they could in the heavy gear. They climbed the crumbling stairs to the fourth, and sure enough, the cries for help were louder here. This time Love lifted his mask.

"Can you hear me? We're with the fire department." He shouted. The cries paused.

"I can hear you!" He heard, over the roar of the fire.

"What room are you in?" Love asked.

"8C" The voice answered.

"Find it." Love replaced his mask and spoke to his team members. They searched and after a few second they found it.

"Here." Reed said.

"Get away from the door and cover your eyes!" Love shouted. He heard a pair of feet scurrying around and waited a second. He felt the door with the back of his hand, and when he was sure it was cool enough, he moved aside for Reed.

Reed hacked at the door, that seemed stronger than the others. The floor cracked and fell as the hallway crumbled. Only half of the wood floor was intact now and Reed began hitting the door faster. He was sweating more of the other and the axe looked fairly beat up. Finally, the door gave and he stumbled as the weight of the axe sent him forward.

The man was probably in his forties, with a young girl in his hands. He was covered in soot and looked dizzy. Love took a deep breath before taking off his mask.

"I'll get the father, get the girl." Love said. He put the mask on the older man and let him lean on his shoulders as they walked out of the room. The floor creaked and groaned and they tried to move quickly.

Reed carried the girl in his arms and it was obvious she was knocked out. Reed put his own mask over her face and would take turns taking a breath from the fresh oxygen. She curled up into his chest. They moved down the stairs quickly and got down to the last flight of stairs when Reed tripped. He was the last one in the line and cursed as he dropped the girl.

"Are you okay?" Love turned. The father was about to pass out and it was obvious Love was having trouble keeping him up.

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll get her." Reed said. He stood up and picked up the girl gently again. Love and Ross turned, Ross helping Love with the weight of the now unconscious man. They made it out the door as the building collapsed, the force of the building coming down sending the flying. Love coughed as smoke, dust, and debris fell over them.

"Jesus..." Ross coughed. They stood up shakily and the paramedics took the man off their hands.

"Where's the girl?" Another paramedic asked.

"She's right there, Reed has-" Love turned to point Reed out and all he saw was the crumbled building. His heart stopped. "No..." He whispered. He took a step and stumbled. "No!" He shouted, louder this time. He scurried over to the rubble and began digging through it with his bare hands.

"Gordon!" The chief shouted. The rest of the crew looked on, shocked. Ross began digging with Love. Loves hands bled as they were cut and burned by sharp debris and hot metal. He tore at the rubble with his hands and suddenly froze. The rest of the crew finally made it over to the building and stopped. Reed's larger hand had been unburied from the rubble. Love was sitting on the ground, staring at the still and pale hand that was uncovered from the broken building.

~~~~~~~~~~

Present day

~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm sorry, Love." Garrett said. Love was crying silently. "I cant imagine...I've never lost anyone in a fire..." Garrett mumbled. "What happened to the girl?" Garrett asked.

"She lived. They dug her out. Reed covered her with his body." Love said.

"He was a brave guy." Garrett said. "I don't think I could do it." He whispered.

"I never got to hear what he wanted to tell me." Love said.

"I'm sure he would have told you that he loved you, and that he wanted to try and work out the relationship again." Garrett said.

"Maybe." Love wiped the tears from his face.

"Can I ask you something, Love?" Garrett said. Love nodded.

"Why are you so scared of coming out?" Garrett asked, Love looked up at him confused. "Most people are afraid of disapointing their parents, or losing the people they love. But the guys at the firehouse are pretty easy going. I don't think they would give you any shit over it. And even if they did. You have me, and you wont ever lose me." Garrett whispered the last part. Love swallowed.

"I don't know. I guess... I just... I don't like it when things change. It's so much easier if they just stay the same." Love said.

"Easier...Yes. Better? I don't think so." Garrett said. Love sighed.

"Do you mean it?" Love asked.

"What?"

"That I'll never lose you..." He whispered. Garrett was shocked.

"Yes." He answered. Love paused for a second before resting his head on Garrett's chest. Garrett stroked his hair.

"I don't think I can lose anyone else." Love said.

"I don't think you can either." Garrett said.

"I should get going." Love stood up.

"Are you sure? I made dessert." Garrett said.

"What did you make?" Love asked, the smile returning to his eyes.

"Chocolate cheesecake." Garrett smiled.

"From the box?" Love raised an eyebrow. Garrett nodded with a smile. "Goodnight, Garrett." Love said.

"Wait." Garrett said. "Go out with me." He asked.

"Garrett..."

"Please, I know it's really soon. But I'm not asking for much, just a date. Let me take you out to dinner." Garrett asked.

"Garrett, I cant. If someone from the firehouse-"

"No one will find out. We can go four towns over if you want." Garrett said. Love hesitated. The thoughts ran through his head.

'I cant...After Reed...' His thought trailed off. 'But I'm so alone...I don't want to be alone anymore.' He swallowed.

"Alright." He nodded. Garrett smiled.

"When?" Garrett asked.

"Two days, give me time to rest up from my four on." Love said.

"Good, I'll pick you up at your place?" Garrett smiled. Love nodded and wrote down his address for Garrett.

"Goodnight." Love said, as Garrett opened the door for him.

"Night." Garrett smiled, and shut the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Love and the others carefully dug through the debris, searching for any embers. Every now and then someone would spray a fire extinguisher, snuffing out any of the red sparks. It was just past midnight and technically Love was off duty, but he had to finish this job before going home. He had his date with Garrett coming up and wanted to make sure he was well rested.

'Since when do I care?' He thought. 'It's just one date.' He convinced himself. He wasn't really paying attention and was surprised when a woman walked over to him, helped by a tired looking paramedic.

"Excuse me." She said, voice scratchy from obvious smoke inhalation.

"Can I help you?" Love asked.

"You're the one who pulled me out, right?" She asked. Love finally took a look at the woman he had saved during the fire and nodded.

"Yes, are you okay?" He asked. She nodded and waved her hand dismissivly.

"I just wanted to say thank you. You saved my life. I have two boys and I don't know what they would do if I...If you didn't...Thank you." She finally said.

"It's no problem. I was just doing my job, do your boys a favor and get healed up." Love smiled at her. She nodded and waved before the paramedic helped her back to the ambulance.

"It makes the job worth it, doesn't it?" Thomas spoke up. Love looked up and saw most of the crew had been watching. He nodded.

"Yeah, it does." Love nodded.

"It's why I got into this job. I wanted to help people. I may not be the biggest or the strongest, but the looks in their eyes when they realize they're still breathing...It gives me all the strength I need." He said, and continued poking through the bits of fallen building.

~~~~~~~~

Love messed with his for the thousandth time. Garrett would be picking him up any minute and his hair looked like shit. He brushed it out again, before trying to put it in a pony tail, and then deciding against it. He glared at his reflection before he just shook his head wildly and let it fall naturally on his shoulders. He looked up, and was finally satisfied. He shrugged before tying his shoes once more. He straightened his black shirt and looked at his teeth when the knock on the door sounded. He breathed deeply before opening the door.

"You look great." Garrett smiled.

"Not so bad yourself, handsome." Love smiled.

"Come on, we have reservations to make." Garrett said, with a wink. Love buckled up in his car a minute later and waited as Garrett started the car.

"So where are we going?" Love asked.

"It's a surprise." Garrett smiled over at him. Love pouted, he hated surprises.

"How was your first day off?" Garrett asked.

"Good, I slept most of it away." Love laughed.

"I always do, too." Garrett smiled. Love twiddled his thumbs in his lap and looked out the window as they drove.

"Will you just tell me where we're going?" Love frowned.

"Nope." Garrett laughed.

"Mean." He scowled. "The guys want to know how you're holding up, I think Ross is even sorry." Love said.

"I'm fine. The arm feels better every day." Garrett held up the arm that was still in the brace.

"Good, now where are we going?" Love asked casually.

"Not telling." Garrett smiled over at him.

"Ass." Love slid down in his seat and sulked until they got to their destination.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Garrett pulled up to the beach, Love was surprised.

"What are we doing? I thought you said we had reservations." Love asked.

"Reservations for two, smoking or non smoking?" Garrett said in his best french accent.

"You're a dork." Love stared at him. Garrett smiled and reached into the back of his truck. He pulled out a picnic basket and a blanket. "It's like negative four degrees out here, you know that right?" Love stared at him, slightly amused.

"That's what the blankets for, dumb shit." Garrett wrapped an arm around him and pulled him through the sand. Love carried the blanket and they stumbled over hidden sticks and clumps of seaweed. Finally Garrett stopped and Love laid out the blanket. Garrett sat down in the sand and pulled Love down next to him.

"I repeat, you're a dork." Love smiled.

"But this is better than sitting in some stuff restaurant, right?"

"That's very true." Love nodded, breathing in the cold night air. He looked out at the ocean and the moonlight bounced off the waves. "It is beautiful." Love whispered.

"Yeah, it is." Garrett said in a dreamy voice. Love looked over and saw he wasn't looking at the ocean, but at him. He took a handful of sand and threw it at Garrett.

"Dork." He said, between their laughs. Garrett opened the basket to reveal four or five frozen pizzas. Love laughed and Garrett took a slice from one.

"I like frozen pizza." He shrugged. Love stared at him.

"You know what?" Love said, seriously.

"What?" Garrett said, a little worried.

"I do, too." Love stole his slice of pizza and began munching on it.

"You butt-munch!" Garrett shouted. Love laughed and rolled away into the sand as Garrett chased after him.

"Bend over for me and I will." Love winked. Garrett gasped.

"My delicate sensibilities!" he covered his mouth like he was shocked.

"Dork." Love threw another handful of sand at him and Garrett chased after him. They wrestled for the slice of pizza like it was life and death, for awhile. Until, the slice went flying and landed face down in the sand. They stared at it silently for a second, Garrett lying on Love who was on his stomach.