All Comments on 'Fireworks'

Well, Peter found a nice way to get her to talk and get rid of her negative feelings for sure. I think a second chapter is necessary, so we know what happened overnight and how they left things between them before he left for boot camp ?? It seems they both needed that and Mila liked what happened. Some hard fucking now that all pretense is gone, would leave her wanting more from her brother. Maybe, she could write to him as a girlfriend in a way of sorts while he's at boot camp ?? They can make plans for his first at home furlough and pick up where they left off. Their parents will certainly give them their privacy, as Peter brought Mila around ! Thanks.

Nowadays coital activities have become a spectator sport, a demonstration of one's worth [by how many notches you've got on your "gun"], a way to casually pass the time. This story shows what sex really is. Fundamentally, making love [besides propagation of the species] is the most intimate way we communicate with each other. You can't get any closer than this.

I notice that this is your first entry here in Literotica. Welcome. Thank you for sharing your creative efforts with us.

Needs more hot butt sex!

The beginning of the story did not match with the end of story. No star for you

Except for the beginning, the story had a nice flow to it. It's a nice change to read a story without the details of a football player with a 12 inch cock and 36DD tits on someone's supermodel sister. The basic idea was well thought out and the sex wasn't rushed or graphic. Keep writing and I'm sure your stories will improve over time. I would suggest getting an editor because there were many grammar mistakes that took away some enjoyment from reading this.

I agree with the other commentators on the beginning being lesser quality to the finish. You need to fix the grammar mistakes and edit better, the sex was very well done. Please write again and edit.

Great story but I can't wait to read more.

I liked the pace here. Peter sharing his family's curiosity about what is bothering Mila - figuring a way to maybe get her to open up a bit. The little story telling part seemed about right to get the siblings at least sexually aware, and seeing themselves as sexual persons. Mila opening up slowly, letting her brother comfort, then fondle her, cooperating in the removal of panties. A shame we couldn't share her thoughts and feelings, but it was Peter's story, after all. He was so smart in letting his sister take the lead after that - the cuddling, getting their parts together. Then the joining. ares could have been a little more descriptive of when the kisses turned to tonguing, and passions mounted, but this was so well done, that omission was minor. The story is basically complete, in itself, but could lead to much more. Did parents find out? What reaction? How did the siblings handle the separation of Peter going off to the service? What happened when they got together again? Could be a longer tale, but somehow I hope not. I'd like to see more from this writer, though.

brother a great going away present. One more chapter of them fucking and ride his cock!!

For Pete's sake (pun intended) get yourself a copy editor! There must be 100 errors in this story. It really does distract from what is otherwise a well-told story. I gave it a 3, but it would have been a 4 or 5 without the errors.

But I do, a 5 for effort and content and fuck spelling!

it was a great slow romantic and sensual story ....but the spelling and missed words are what threw me off but luckily I read typos an all...can hardly wait to read more if there is an additons to this.. like a sequel....

At first, I wondered if you were a non-native English speaker, but then I realized it doesn't matter. Your flow and development were great, and you rounded it out very well.

I, too, would like to see more stories from you... Keep writing!!!

What a shame, a good storyline only to be ruined by all the errors. Previous comments were spot on . I to gave you 3 stars.

Sure a few spelling errors, but it was a very good story. Please keep writing, and maybe some more chapters of this.

This story is hot as f**k - so quit bellyaching about a few misspelled words and grab your sex tool - whether it's a cock or a pussy - and enjoy the story like I did!!!!! You'd be f**king surprised how stimulating a good f**k tale can be if you just enjoy the story!

You might even cum if you just read instead of bitching over misspelled words, etc.

It's really pretty graphic sex and I would love to experience fucking under the stars with July 4 fireworks going off all around! Thar's a real inspiring experience if you just think about it! KInd of like "fuck for Old Glory!

You have a fine set up to a multi chapter story. He's going into the service. Maybe not right away but she could follow him. Could be an epic love story. You've got a great begining. But even if you decide not to take it further, it's fine the way it is. There will always be those that expect perfection. Pay no heed. You're doing fine.

Steve. Snedker323@gmail.com

I liked everything about this story....

would like more like this one, very pleasent read..

thank you...,

Made me very hard......

Add to this story

Sweet brother-sister love, slowly awakening, building until it cannot be denied. That, indeed, is sweet torture, leading to the sweeter release of orgasmic ecstasy. Thanks for sharing your imagination (or experience?) with us.

continue, they should wait for each other ubtil he returns then be his forever.

Fantastic story.very sensual and loving and hot

lesbo CRAP! YUK!!!

Bravo, but I found it hard to focus after the grammatical and spelling errors in just the first couple of paras. Suggest using spellcheck and/or an editor. Maybe your other works are better - I'll check them out.