First Do No Harm

First DO No Harm is the mantra of the medical field. It is as old as the hypocritic oath. This includes the non-ethical congress of Psychiatrists and Psychologists with those under their care. I had faithfully adhered to this doctrine for 12 years of practicing. I was caught unaware of how strong a physical and emotional attraction could affect me and cause me to break that oath. This is my story.

This case was perplexing at first. When he first came to me and told me of his problems, I thought johnnie was an angry young man. But, as his visits continued, the puzzle began to take form.

My name is Jasper Goeringer. I've been a practicing psychologist for nigh on to 12 years. I deal mainly in family matters such as marriage counseling and problem resolution. I have been successful and have many clients referred to me by successfully helping other clients through dark times.

But johnnie was different. He came to me by himself with issues in his marriage to Cindy.

About johnnie. My first impression of the slender young, 20-something, was that he seemed depressed and angry.

Depression is wide-spread, and it would not be unusual for someone to come to me seeking relief from the debilitating malady.

But after listening to johnnie, I came to the conclusion that he was not depressed. Nor was the slight young man angry. johnnie was hurt and confused. Both of those emotions can manifest themselves as anger and or depression.

I studied my new client closely has he sobbed and wept while telling me of his problems. What I saw was a pretty cute male. He wore his hair shoulder length and it appeared to have a natural flip. High cheek bones, button nose, full and luscious lips gave him a delicate and yet sexy look as he peered at me with his cat-like green eyes while baring his soul to me.

In my profession you understand, one must take in all aspects of the patient in order to properly diagnose and treat them. Things like their attire, the way they comport themselves, the way the speak, mannerisms, all serve to help those in my practice better understand the individual they are treating.

In johnnie's case, I could see that his taste in clothing tended to be a more feminine style than most men would consider purchasing, much less wear. The tight white capri pants through which I could clearly make out the color and style of his underpants, plus the spaghetti strapped mauve tank top he wore told me that johnnie carried himself provocatively sexy.

As he made himself comfortable, I noticed the anklet he wore on his left ankle and traces of what was perhaps remnants of nail polish not completely removed from his toes that were visible through the opened toed sandals he had on his small feet.

His voice was low, soft, and a little high pitched. He was having a difficult time trying to explain the reason he visited me.

I listened carefully as he told me of his marriage to a woman he felt fortunate to have wed. But there was an under lying layer of discontent. Using a back door method of unmasking the real problems, I asked the lad what he felt he could do to improve his marriage.

That's when the little guy broke down in tears. Through sobs and sniffs, johnnie admitted that his wife had taken a lover on the side.

When I asked how long he suspected she was cheating, he looked up astonished. "Dr Goeringer, Cindy is not cheating," he insisted. "Tom is our very good friend."

His tear-stained face and the way he looked at me made me want to gather the young man in my arms and comfort him. Empathy is one thing in my business. But physical touching is frowned upon. I resisted the temptation to hug the pretty younger man and let him gather himself.

"johnnie," I consoled him. "I can feel your pain and sense of loss. But alas, our hour is up. Please come back. We have lots to sort through."

He wiped his pretty face with a Kleenex and smiled sadly. "When would you like to see me again?" he whispered in a husky voice.

I looked at my schedule. "How about Friday at 10? That will give you four days in between sessions."

johnnie came to my desk and offered me his small soft hand. "Thank you doctor," he said. "I'll see you at 10 AM on Friday."

As he turned to leave, I saw that young johnnie had a nice wide set of hips and a beautifully shaped bottom.

Had I not known he was a male, I would have easily mistaken johnnie for a woman from behind. As the door closed behind him, I found myself adjusting a growing erection.

Please don't misunderstand me. I have never had sex with a patient, male or female. To do so would be unprofessional and unethical. But my reaction surprised me, and I knew I had an issue to sort out myself before johnnie returned for his next session.

I found johnnie's first session typical of most of my patients. He was nervous, worried, maybe even afraid. It takes a while for first timers to be able to open up about what's bothering them. Usually, by the second or third visit, they begin to feel comfortable speaking to me about private matters.

I would hope in johnnie's case that was true. I was intrigued by his admission that there is another man in his and Cindy's marriage and then insisting she would never cheat. As I said at the beginning, this was a most perplexing study in human behavior.

johnnie seemed more composed Friday morning when he arrived for his second session. "Good morning, Doctor," he smiled. The young man simply radiated happiness.

He seemed more relaxed, or at ease as he sat where he had his first visit. This time he was wearing what I understand are called skinny jeans, a billowing shirt that was tied at his waist. Between the bottom of his jeans and vividly red sneakers, johnnie wore the same ankle bracelet.

He crossed his legs at the knee and bounced his leg. The smile never left his oh-so-full lips.

"How were your last few days, johnnie?" I asked.

"Wonderful. I had a splendid four days."

"That's great, johnnie. Tell me. What happened, what did you do that makes you radiate with joy this morning?"

"Cindy, my wife, remember?"

"I do."

"Well, doctor. Her mom needed her to stay with her to help when her father came home from the hospital."

"I see. I hope it was nothing serious."

"It could have been. Her dad tripped over one of their cats and wrenched his back. Cindy helped her mother get him settled. He seems to be recovering slowly but that's to be expected for his age."

I didn't inquire about his father-in-law's age. Instead, I asked what he did while he spent his time alone.

"But I wasn't alone. Tom came over to keep me company. Cindy told me she was sending him to stay with me while she was gone to make sure I behaved and stayed out of trouble."

"Your wife sent her lover to baby sit you?"

johnnie blushed when I asked that.

"Um, no sir. It's not like that. I'm better, I mean Cindy thinks it's better that our friend and I are together when she's not around. Besides, I like Tom. He's so, so, well,"

His pretty face burned red as he choked out the rest.

"Tom is much more manly than I am. Truth be told, doctor, Cindy tells Tom to look after me and behind his back, she tells me to take care of our man."

To me, this arrangement seemed strange. I thought about his response and what to ask next as johnnie twirled the ends of his long hair seemingly lost in thought.

"Are Cindy and Tom aware that you're seeing me, johnnie?"

Snapping out of his daydream, johnnie seemed startled. "No. They don't know I'm here. Please doctor, you can't tell them."

I assured johnnie of doctor-patient privilege, and his visits would remain secret.

Much relieved, johnnie become more open and direct with his responses.

"Tell me about Tom," I asked.

johnnie sighed and a smile flashed across his face. "I have known Tom since forever," he gushed. "Tom is very much a man and had been my friend since high school some 7 years ago."

"I see," I said jotting down what he was telling me. "How did Tom and Cindy meet?"

"I introduced them," johnnie freely admitted.

"And their relationship progressed?"

"Boy did it," johnnie beamed. "Cindy and Tom hit it off immediately. I could tell they were attracted to each other."

I was tempted to ask how that worked out but needed some information on Cindy before going deeper in the relationship between she and Tom.

"Tell me about your wife, johnnie. When did you meet?"

"We met in college. I thought she was beautiful. To my surprise, she was smart too. Cindy had many suitors; she dated a lot of guys."

"At first it bothered me that she was seeing so many guys. But always after her dates, Cindy would call me to come over and we'd have sex."

I looked at the young man as his mind wandered in past experiences. "So, she'd only have sex with you after going out with other men?"

"We didn't have intercourse, doctor. She would let me go down on her and then masturbate me."

"So, you two remained chaste until you married?" I questioned.

johnnie was reluctant to answer that question. He hesitated momentarily before telling me that after being called to join her after her dates many times, she eventually confessed to having been fucked.

"You mean that when you enjoyed giving her oral sex that she was....."

"She had sperm in her," johnnie interrupted me. "She told me that I had eaten a number of loads."

"Oh my. How did that make you feel?"

"At first I was jealous. I mean those guys having sex with my girl, you know. But Cindy told me that I was the best at giving her orgasms with my mouth and tongue and the taste of her lover's ejaculate didn't seem to bother me. The way she said it, with her hand on me down there, I couldn't be angry with her."

"Did her lovers ever confront you?"

"Never. Cindy promised me that it would be our secret."

"And when you got married did you then have intercourse?"

"Not exactly," johnnie said very quietly.

"May I ask how then?"

"How we had sex?"

"Yes johnnie. I know this must be difficult for you to talk about and you're being such a brave young man. But it is important for me to understand the dynamic of your marriage."

johnnie's head hung low, and I could barely hear him when he told me that he was very small in the penis area and that he was prone to pre-mature ejaculation."

"When I first put my penis in her, I climaxed right off," he said. "She had me perform orally sex so she could orgasm."

"You're telling me you've tasted your own sperm?"

"I have, many times over the past 3 years now."

"I see," noting his pathological willingness to in ingest sperm, including his own.

"Can you... oops. Seems our time is up again, johnnie. Can I expect you Monday?"

I stood up and walked around my desk. I held my hand out to help him up. "I can see this is painful for you," I said concerned. "Monday, if you should return, we'll delve into Tom and how he's affected your marriage."

"Same time, doctor?"

""Ten AM will be fine, johnnie."

I held the door and watched him leave. Once more I gazed a bit too long at his beautiful, swaying bottom as he walked out the door.

I poured over my notes to this very unusual problem. I wondered if johnnie was being totally truthful about his relationship with his wife, with Tom. How did he know that Cindy and Tom were having sex? Still, I wondered if in fact they were sexual at all.

I was mentally exhausted after dealing with the problems of others all week. It was not unusual for me to call a lady friend with benefits to help me through the weekend, but this weekend was different.

I poured myself a brandy and thought about johnnie's dilemma. I didn't know if he was confused or if his tale had confused me. Worse still, after two sessions I hadn't discovered his reason for coming to me.

But my mind wandered and again I pictured his heart shaped ass in those capris he wore to his initial consultation with me.

I stripped down and went to shower. The mental image of his shapely ass and plump lips gave me an erection I decided to take care of myself. I soaped my hand up and standing under the warm spry, I jerked off imagining his lips wrapped around my 6 1/2 " cock, his cat-like eyes peering up at me and me using his long hair to control him as I thoroughly fucked his face.

I never had the reaction to a client that I was having then. I knew it was unprofessional for me to have personal feelings toward or about clients who come to me for help. But there was something about johnnie that was different, and it bothered me that I couldn't put my finger on why that was.

Monday came and johnnie appeared. He was glowing. I noticed something different about him but again wasn't able place it right away.

"How was your weekend, johnnie?"

"It was wonderful. Tom and I had the best time together."

"Oh? And what did you two get into?"

johnnie blushed. "I knew you would ask me that," he said shyly. "Promise not to tell?"

"I already told you, johnnie. What you say to me is private. It is unlawful for me to share what we discuss in this room."

I watched him reach down and slide the wide bell-bottom hem up so he could toy with his ankle bracelet. It was my belief then as it is now that johnnie was reliving some experience he had over the previous two days. I saw through the thin material of his top that his nipples were hard. The front of his plaid bell bottoms tented a little and I could see he was sexually stimulated.

It took him a minute or two before he looked up. "Tom finally fucked me," he whispered conspiratorially.

Now that wasn't what I expected to hear. "Oh my," I said surprised.

"Oh, it wasn't like what you're thinking," he explained. "It was beautiful."

"I'm relieved to hear that, johnnie." Truthfully, I was. He seemed so vulnerable, so innocent, and helpless that I wanted to protect the little guy myself.

johnnie went on to relate his entire weekend, waiting on his friend Tom hand and foot. He blushed again when he told me how Tom came up behind him and how good it felt to johnnie to feel Tom's cock pressing against his backside.

johnnie spoke of how Tom laid him on his back and took him like a man makes love to a woman.

My own cock reacted in way it should not have.

"What did Cindy do while you and Tom were...."

"She wasn't home yet," he interrupted but answered my question.

"May I ask you a personal question, johnnie?"

He nodded.

"Are you gay?"

His giggle was infectious, and I found myself smiling along with him. "Heavens no, doctor. Both Tom and Cindy know I'm not gay. They have both told me I'm special."

"I agree with them, johnnie. You are special, and if I may, you're also delightful."

His pretty face smiled at me. "Really? Do you think so?"

I felt myself attracted to this pretty young man in a way that was strange to me. I never had the desire or so much as an inkling to be involved in a same sex situation.

johnnie told me how Tom made him squeak when johnnie climaxed. He told me how tender Tom had treated him afterwards. "It was like he was a different person after he made love to me, doctor."

johnnie blushed when telling me how Tom had asked him to dress sexy for him. He balked when I asked what he wore for Tom, and I didn't push.

And just like that, our hour was up. This time, after walking to my patient and helping him up, instead of just a handshake, johnnie hugged me. It was my turn to blush. I swear he felt my erection against his abdomen.

Later, I wrestled with myself as to whether or not I'd made a conscious effort to let him feel my erection.

I closed my eyes, stroked my hard cock, and imagined a faceless Tom with johnnie's legs wrapped around his calves grunting and fucking the little homo senseless. I came all over myself when the faceless Tom face became me.

I have dealt with couples in crisis and many times those issues revolved around sex. I've listened to graphic confessions with way too much detail and had never been affected like I was with what johnnie conveyed.

I was determined to be professional and vowed to get back on topic of why his wife has a man in her life.

Friday came around and precisely at 10 AM, johnnie knocked on my office door.

I opened the door and let him in. I confess to being curious about his attire. The slacks seemed painted on the younger man. His picture-perfect bottom jiggled just a tad beneath the tight-fitting material. I felt my cock responding and wished it away.

His top was a sheer maroon and tight fighting. His nipples were like pencil erasers. He had espadrilles with a 4" platform on his feet as he sashayed past me to his usual place.

I don't think he was deliberately trying to dress sexy for me. In my heart, I believe it was just his style.

johnnie was near tears when he told me how Cindy had returned and Tom was all over her again, ignoring him except for the tasks he was assigned.

"So, Tom is the man in your wife's life? But you and he, last weekend....."

"Yes. Last weekend was lovely. But now Tom acts like it didn't happen."

"How did he come into your marriage in the first place, johnnie?"

"This is so embarrassing. Like I said, he and Cindy hit it off really well when I introduced him to her. Then, one thing led to another, and he fucked her."

"Don't you mean they had intercourse? Saying he fucked her is rather harsh, johnnie."

"It may be harsh, but he fucked her way better than I ever could. After that first time, he became a regular."

"In front of you? Why didn't you put a stop to it?"

"You're kidding right? Tom is my friend. Besides, he's like you, size-wise, I mean. I asked Cindy if she was going to leave me for him and she assured me she loves me. But then, then....," johnnie began to sniff back tears. "Then she told me that only Tom would be fucking her from now on."

"And what about your role in your marriage?"

"Well, they both sat me down and explained that I was now a cuckold and Tom was her Bull. I was to consider him the man of the house when he visits. That part was okay because I have always deferred to Tom when he visited us."

johnnie hesitated before continuing.

"Go on," I said urging him to tell me the rest.

"All I am when Cindy is there is his cock sucker. I have to wear something sexy when he's coming over and Cindy tells me I have to suck his cock until he's hard. Then, after they fuck, I have to use my mouth to clean them both."

I almost lost it. My cock was so fucking hard it took all my self-control to not rush over and stick it between johnnie's puffy lips.

"They make you perform oral sex on them?"

"Well, not exactly. I mean, it's not like they have to force me or anything. It's, it's, well it's all I'm allowed to do unless they permit me to masturbate."

"How did it start; the oral sex on Tom I mean?"

"It wasn't like I just went down on him," johnnie said defensively.

"I didn't mean it like that," I said quickly apologizing.

johnnie looked at me as if trying to decide whether or not to confide in me. Taking a deep breath, he began, "It's not something I'm proud of. It was natural, I guess. I'd seen his cock many times, very many times when he'd come over to fuck my wife. He has a gorgeous cock, doctor, really he does."

"I'm sure he does," I replied, glad that johnnie trusted me enough to share this most private part of his life.

"One night he asked if I'd hold it so Cindy could sit on him, and I did. It was so warm and so powerful. I didn't want to let go. They both sensed that, and I was asked to put him in her every time they had sex after that first time."

Then, one night, Cindy said that she wasn't wet enough and maybe I could help by licking Tom's cock. I licked him there and felt so ashamed that I ran off crying."

"I imagine you felt confused."

"No doctor. I was crying because I liked it. I mean it excited me and when I realized that sucking his cock gave me pleasure, I was afraid I'd turned gay."