First Love, Only Love

Silence.

Me: Or is that sort of remark only meant for my wife, Brenda Rosen?

Lawson: I was only kidding.

Me: Well, I'm not kidding!

Lawson, head down, mumbled something like an apology.

Me: These are the options I'd like to offer you. 1) Resign, right now. 2) Get fired for cause, right now. Or 3) My personal choice, get fired right now, and get arrested for sexual assault!

The blood drained from Lawson's face, as his hands went to his face, which had a look of sheer terror.

Me: What's it going to be?

Lawson: I'll resign, effective today.

Superintendent: Nope. not today, I'm firing you for cause, but you won't be arrested, today. Step foot on any of our district's school grounds and you go directly to jail! Understood?

Lawson: Yes. Looking at me, he quietly told me that he was very sorry, and meant no harm.

Me: I truly don't believe you, and the only thing you're sorry for is you got caught!

I called Brenda, at home, and related the entire proceedings. I could hear her soft sobs though the phone, as I told her a celebration was in order, that evening.

I had some work to do, and a stop to make on my way back home. When I walked in the door, my kids nearly tackled me, as they usually did, and I gave my wife the huge bouquet of roses I had picked up on my way home.

We just stood in our living room hugging each other like our lives depended on it.

The one day during the week, she subbed, she was greeted by the faculty like the conquering hero, she really was.

Our sex life, that really never dulled, picked up, in the following weeks, as did our out of bed exercising.

I knew, then, our marriage was so very solid. With my job advancement, we really didn't need Brenda to keep teaching, but she did, because she loved what she did, and she was very good at it.

As our kids grew, and we were both staying healthy, our sex life kept growing. To be truthful, there was one vacation we took, with the kids to Disneyland, where one couple in a room down the hall from us implied they would be open to sharing each other's wives, if we were interested. We both told them, in no uncertain terms that we weren't interested. They weren't mad, telling us swinging wasn't for everyone. We never saw them, again, the remainder of our vacation.

We still did virtually anything you could imagine. Positions, did nearly everything you could imagine, again, and again. Oral. Yes. Anal. YES. Toys. Yes, for both of us. Our sex life flourished, thanks to the layout of our house. Kids, upstairs, and us on the ground floor. Even with the separation, there was this one Sunday morning when our kids seemed awfully quiet, while breakfast was being made.

At the same time, they said that it was really 'noisy' last night. We both guessed that at 11 and 9 and a half they both knew what that 'noise' was.

We did sit them both down answering each and every question they could think of. They both thought they knew everything, and much to our surprise, for the most part, they did. We did correct some of their misconceptions, and both of us stressed the importance of being in love with anyone you think you want to have a sexual relationship with.

With our son really excelling in baseball, and our daughter in soccer, we were both kept busy, attending as many of their games, as possible. Me, when work permitted, and Brenda, nearly every game, for both of them.

Going into Junior High, my grandpa Al came to visit, from the Palm Springs area, where he was living, having retired a third and final time. He was in his element watching his great grandson playing summer baseball, with an elite area team.

Moving into High School, he was already on major league team's radar. Colleges, too.

Back to my defending Kathy Moore.

After letting her know the girl she was helping to be sexually assaulted, had been my wife for just over 20 years, her entire demeanor changed. She became very quiet, and finally asked if she was headed for jail.

"To be perfectly honest, I don't see much chance of you avoiding more than a few years in jail. Now, what you do with that time just might determine what happens when you get out."

All she did is nod her head, and to tell me she was listening.

"I see you never graduated or tried to get your GED, correct?"

Another silent nod.

"Do you want to take classes to get your GED, while in jail?"

"Yes, I think I can handle that."

"I hope you realize that Brenda hasn't really harbored any ill will against you all these years. You asked me why I was doing this, and I'll tell you my wife convinced me to give you a chance. But, let me tell you, if you screw up one more time, it will be 25 to life, do you understand that?"

"Thank you, Mr. Rosen, I truly mean it, and thank your wife for me, too."

As graduation approached, grandpa Al gave us all some pointers, having played for Cleveland. and been an executive with both the Yankees and Astros.

As it turned out, he was drafted late in the first round by the Dodgers, who did have a pressing need for a third baseman.

Josh promised us he would attend college every off season, as much as he could.

As he started his rookie league season, and Joanne was starting her Junior year of high school, I had another case that changed our lives, again.

This one in a very different way, altogether. I was asked to represent the rights of a fourteen month old baby, whose mother was killed in a gang related shooting. There was no father to be found. This little girl was part Asian and part black, and had special needs, or so we were told.

I visited her in foster care and saw that what she truly needed was just loving care. She wasn't walking, and didn't seem to even try. The case worker told me she seemed mildly retarded, or autistic. When I asked if the state had done any testing, she gave an offhanded reply of, too busy, not enough resources.

The next day, I visited again, this time with my teacher wife and our daughter, who already knew she wanted to be a psychologist.

As I was talking to the state social worker, the first thing Brenda did was take this little girl by both hands and slowly let her try to lift herself up. As if by magic, she tried pulling herself up. With a mininum of help, she pulled herself almost standing, holding onto Brenda's hands, then the edge of the crib she was laying in. All the while with the cutest, crooked little grin. Our daughter took over, quietly talking to her, not in baby talk, but as if she was a real toddler. Asking how she liked the day's weather, and if she was hungry, and wanted lunch. With this, Joanne picked her up, with this little one just laying her head on her shoulder, and staring up at her, with her very dark brown eyes, and that cute little grin. Both Brenda and I had to laugh, when Anna, the name the foster care family gave her, leaned down, trying to latch onto one of Joanne's breasts, to nurse.

Very softly, our daughter moved her head away, saying she was barking up the wrong tree. Knowing Anna didn't understand the words, but loving this interaction, all we saw was her grinning and for the first time, started babbling. Nothing close to words, but finally trying to converse.

In the back of my mind, I knew what was coming next. I could tell by the looks I was getting from my girls. Could we, in all good conscience leave this adorable little girl, starved for attention, to languish in our state's foster system, where proper placement was a crapshoot?

No sooner than these thoughts ran through my mind, I heard both, Bradley and daddy, coming from a pair of piercing puppy dog eyes, saying, without words, let's take her home.

It took a few days for proper paperwork to be completed. And for us to equip our house for a toddler.

It didn't take very long to see that what Anna really needed was a loving family. This was a case of doing what was right, and what was needed. We didn't just sit back, throwing money at a situation that required affection, not misplaced ideas.

By the way, Kathy Moore was sentenced from 3 to 6 years at the Women's Correctional Facility, with a chance of parole in 20 months.

With all three of us working with little Anna, within two months, she was starting to walk, as well as saying a few words. She was not autistic, but just had been left unattended for most of her first fourteen months of life. She was also very small for her age, and some what under nourished.

One Saturday morning, with Joanne at a sleepover, we were having a great morning of robust sex, when who should appear at our open door? Yep, Anna somehow got out of her crib, quietly, and without making a sound, walked across the hall, and stood watching us fucking away, and none too quiet about it.

We knew we had to adjust our sex practices to accommodate a little one, like we did when our two were that age.

Did I mind, going back in time? Not if it meant helping this little girl attain some semblance of normalcy.

Did we enjoy having one so young running around our house? You bet, as we had discussed the prospect of grandchildren, some day.

Did our kids understand where we were coming from with wanting to help? Again, you bet.

Josh's baseball career was slowly taking hold, moving up in his organization. Joanne was onto her senior year, and already accepted in the U of W.

My law practice was doing very well, and expanded several times.

Brenda still subbed every now and then, just to keep in touch with the students.

Anna, turning two and doing better than anyone could have predicted. We started to discuss permanent adoption, but that is still down the road.

As the title of my story says, my first love is truly my only love.