All Comments on 'Fishing Trip Ch. 01'

What? Why is this happening and why do we give a crap about this? This is supposed to be his first time with no warning and it is all fine? Wife sent him off to this and she's home banging everyone, and it's all fine? Were are the reactions? So much story left out.

This is more of a listing of things that happened rather than a story. It needs a lot more content...there's nothing about what he's thinking or feeling and the action is WAY too quick.

Please keep trying tho cuz the idea is really hot!

The premise was interesting. I don't think you know how to tell a story. Notice I didn't say you're a bad writer. Your spelling and grammar were fine, if basic. But imagine for a minute that you are TELLING this story to a friend. What do you say, and in what order, and with how much background and explanation?

This needs work to be a good story but it's a good first try. Like the other readers, it didn't explain things and it just listed what happened instead of telling a story. However, the premise is great and something that turns me on very much. Getting fucked and fed cock by the same guys who fucked my wife -- that's hot !!! I can't wait to read the next chapters.

Take me fishing with you next time......