All Comments on 'Flash of Panties'

Decent half story anyway.

Not even your flash stories are good.

No need for part 2...All cheaters are stupid...men or women...3*

in a public bathroom? No surprises in this and very little to enjoy.

The news item at the end was the real flash story!

I knew what was going to happen but I enjoyed the journey.

Well written. Thanks.

Fuck the haters.

Not sure why others didn't, but I liked this flash story. This story was original and, once again, packed with emotion. Great job.

Like the "muzzle" story, but this one left me ehhh.

Need to see reconciliation or divorce.

Does wife serve time?

Was green dress girl that dense or brazen to talk to wife?

She gets arrested after a violent confrontation. End of short story. Not a bad one but itcouldhave been longer. It is unusual to see a husband getting caught cheating on this site.

I'm generally not a fan of "flash stories," because they usually aren't "stories" at all, but just glimpses or scenes. This one, and the other "Flash" story submitted earlier this week, fall into that category.

The entire plot of both stories is: person catches spouse cheating, reacts in a violent way, gets arrested. Both stories are well-written, because Vanadorn is a talented writer. But neither story is particularly interesting.

I have so many story ideas that I abandoned because all I had was a general premise, but no interesting ending or beginning. My personal opinion is that an incomplete story isn't worth sharing. It's like someone saying, "Hey, I had a really interesting weekend! I went fishing!" And then they just leave it at that. What's so interesting about fishing? And what's so interesting about a spouse cheating?

The most interesting aspect of these two stories, for me, will be watching the ratings for both stories. They're nearly identical stories, but I'm betting the rating for this story will be lower than the "Flash of the Muzzle" story, for no other reason than the cheater in this story is the husband.

Wow, posted a day earlier than I expected! Nice.

This is 2nd flash story and for me, it's an exercise in writing much smaller vignettes than I typically do, and yet still have them be entirely encapsulated. They aren't by any means full stories at all (re: swingerjoe) but are just scenes. Which for me (and I assume others) isn't as satisfying as an entire tale.

As for similar, I guess if you boil it down, they are at their core - get cheated on - emotional reaction - make the news. However it's from 2 different side and views and from my observations and experiences - people's gut reaction is typically an emotional one. Not everyone goes for murder and assault! But it does happen.

I have a few more flash stories percolating and when they are finished, I'll get on my next longer tale.

Thanks again for the comments and votes.

-V

Never read a "flash" story that was any good. Last one I plan on reading.

Although FinishTheDamnStory would have a field day with it.

on our addiction to modern media as much as anything else. Those of us who don't carry mobiles ipads etc around with us live quite different lives from those who do! At once, carrying such stuff makes for all those opportunities to communicate surreptitiously, and then get caught in the process. Of course one could see it coming. What an injury can be caused by a high heel smashing down on a foot.

I thought it was pretty realistic how Thersa reacted. My wife would have gone for the steak knife so Terry should count his blessings.

Interesting how many commenters in this story bring up reconciliation and counseling.

So when a women cheats it's all cries for murder and jacking off to snuff porn. But a guy cheats, now let's hold on here! Maybe they should get counseling, they might still have a chance! We need to know his side of the story in more detail!

The blatant misogyny on this site really is sickening. But it fits well with the homophobia, racism, and just general sense that the anon crowd are fragile, privileged, middle aged white men raging at anyone and everyone different than them.

@ frontlinecaster! I read all comments and nobody wanted RECONCILIATION.

The posters are curiouse what will be the future of this married couple?

To be curious or to wish are two things!

Wife is crushed but puts Husbands phone in purse. Goes home and then fucks him over, and her.

Where is the LW in this flasher?

The outcome is probably clear to 90% or more of LW readers when The Green Groupie says its for a man in the steakhouse with his wife! The twist is very weak! Sweetie is clearly not portrayed as an adventurous wife!

Unsatisfactory!

2 up, 2 down ... popup fouls on first pitch ... easily caught! Not a good inning, yet!

2*

Revenge and retribution is not one of humankind's nicer traits.

If you must retribute, read Britease's stories for instructions on how to do it in a creative and entertaining manner.

L

You're talking out of your ass again. Where did anybody recommend reconciliation or anything for that matter. For the most part many stated that flash stories where not a favorite. Again you're trying to put words into play that don't exist. Troublemaker should be your middle name. Oh, you're slipping, no attack on anonymous on this one? You claim anonymous has nothing meaningful to contribute in these discussions. I have to disagree, it's you that don't have anything worthwhile to contribute. Never have, never will. End of rant.

is ultimately unsatisfying. ***

Come on you lot. Vanadorn's first flash story about the cheating wife and the husband with a gun elicited 62 comments. (Somebody really should do something about those gun laws in the USA.)

We have only made it to 25 so far with the cheating husband and the wife with no respect for the crockery. (At least she wasn't carrying a gun, which must be something in her favour.)

Whatever happened to equal opportunity?

D

A bit obvious who Paula was texting but worth a quick read to see how it worked out. You certainly manage to rile people with so few words.

Flash story is just a current buzz word for a short story. The length of a story should be dictated by its content, but it still has to contain a beginning, a plot, and an end. This was a chapter of a story, that introduces some characters and a plot, but we do not know the extent of the betrayal, nor the ending. I think with better writing and a different approach, this could have been a successful short story. But a good short story is more difficult to write than a good long story. It can even take longer to write if one takes the time to distill all the important characters, issues, and events, down to their essence, then tell the story using only the essential details. Very challenging.

Keep the vengeance, the violence, and the retribution as you like them. Vastly prefer an angry energized spouse to a wimpy milk toast who validates and even facilitates the cheating. I would prefer the cheated on spouse act in a more calculated and self-defensive manner. They've been fucked enough by their cheating spouse. No sense also making themselves a target of the legal system. In this particular case the cheated on spouse will convincingly claim a temporary mental lapse. His medical bills for his injuries, her medical bills for her psychological evaluation and treatment, his and her legal bills for the divorce and the criminal prosecution will leave them both very nicely bankrupt. If he is smart he will take his lumps and get rid of this avenging angle as cheaply as he can. We already know what she wants.

There are many ways spouses could handle their significant other cheating on them. This is just one of those ways. No one can tell me that men or woman have never thought about killing their spouse over cheating. Some people can handle things differently than others. This is just a story. I will always love stories (loving wives stories) that involve the cheating man or woman getting hurt or die. I can handle this being a story and nothing else. Another good flash story. Keep up the writing.

I too was waiting to see how crappy the fucked up comments could get for a story I rated as 5 stars. Sorry Van, yesterday you only got 4. Why?

All around, this was better, but it wasn't for any of the reasons, some others are mentioning. It isn't better because this time Hubby is the cheater for a change. It isn't because No one died this time. No, none of that crap. For me, it was because the language was better, the scene was set, and the dialogue flowed.

It is funny how these folks complaining about the flash story format have yet again been so busy trying to complain that they forgot to pay attention to the story.

Today, the pattern emerged. The FLASH isn't some form or function of telling a story. It isn't even the double entendre used in the titles. The FLASH is:

THE EVENING NEWS FLASH!!!!

NEWS FLASH, PEOPLE!

Do you get it now?

So anybody out there still watch the news, I mean on TV?

So you get the last paragraph of Van's story being, just about ALL that a news anchor could report. And then move on to the next item. So you are watching, and then you think? WTF? How did that happen? Why?

Why was that woman assulting her husband in a restaurant?

Why was that man arrested for double homicide?

So Van takes that, and gives us a little more insight. Sure, his imagination is probably thinking the same sorts of things that we might be thinking, if we bothered to think and wonder about it all. Yeah, we can probably agree, that is PROBABLY what happened. But Van writes it well, sets it up with just enough. Not too long, because if you daydream over it much longer it would depress you. Or may be it would make you feel lucky for what you've got. You know, like: "Thank God, shit like that wouldn't happen to me!"

Of course it isn't a new nor revolutionary twist, but Van skillfully gives his readers that exact moment when these people have that "holy FUCK, I never though this shit would happen to me! " feeling......

And the moral is, Yep! Could happen to anybody! Even your neighbor. Just watch the local news. But somewhere, it is happening RIGHT NOW!

Did he really need 5 chapters and 20 pages to do this? To get that kind of reaction from his target audience?

HELL NO!

I think the flash story is perfect for this. I love the irony, that in just one page, he can share so much more than any newscaster is ALLOWED to do, in the course of any given night's newscast. In a sense, he IS telling the rest of the story (at least the: How did this happen?)

Is there more to the story? Of course! But then folks like Swingerjoe, would think that is "Boring" too.

Van, you keep right on going! This is an INTERESTING series! It is obviously helping you to flex some muscles and exercise some gaskets! (I mean with your writing skills) When the longer stories of focused character development eventually come, I hope that they are better recieved than these were by these asshats, who "don't like flash stories". Unfortunately, all they will do is complain. Complain. Complain.

So sad, really. Thank you for staying above the frey, and not letting these hypocrites bother you....(too much, anyway!)

Well Done!

I can not wait for the Flash Gordon Flash story. Thanks for flashing I mean for sharing.

that is what is most shocking

The title says it. Waste of time.

V, you took a personal drama and you parsed it down to the condensed emotional core of your protagonist,Theresa.

Is this a story to enjoy, like a steak dinner? No, but rather a story to savor, like a sip of cognac.

Spoken like a true monarchist. We don't do "somebody" running our lives. Well, not yet. America is a very violent, free, independent, and righteous people. Even the immigrants get the spirit eventually. I don't know that we kill each other more than other cultures, but I hope we do use guns more, because that makes everyone have equal access to self defense. You see dear, if Hells Angels pulls up in front of your quaint Australian home and decides to gang bang you, your daughters, your sons, theres little you or your unarmed husband can do about it, besides dial a phone and enjoy the fucking and mayhem until the police get there. In America, if they pick one of the homes occupied by a violent gun-nut Colonial, there will be a yard and foyer littered with Hells Angels corpses. And for those timid royalists who'd rather live under the British culture of peaceful servitude, they can always immigrate to one of those more enlightened nations. And I hope they do.

In the meantime, if you want to seduce the husband or wife of one of these American neanderthals, you better hope the sex is worth risking your health or life. I'm thinking, go do your adultery in Australia. Just take plenty of tissues, to hand to the weeping husband, or wife.

I think luedon was being facetious when he made the statement about the gun laws. It seemed like a tongue in cheek comment to me. Why you felt the need to vent your gun law frustration toward an obvious sarcastic statement is beyond me. I think you took it way to seriously.

Yeah, I know a lot of gunnuts myself. They are always bugging me about why I do not bother owning any. I just shrug and smile and tell them they have my support at owning ridiculously overpowered weaponry.

My experience has been, those who brag the most about how dangerous they are, are always the ones who fall apart when a dangerous crisis threatens. Their loud mouths inform me that if a situation seems to be developing, where a firearm may turn out to be useful, I know which neighbor's house to get one or a dozen.

And I didn't have pay for them or take the risks to my family of storing them safely. Most of these mighty gunmen never really use their arsenals for anything but bragging rights. The perpetual adolescents who worship their shiny toys of cars and guns.

The main use for these weapons will either be to commit suicide, or murder their wives and children or attempt suicide by cop. Knowing how to use a weapon proficiently does not imbue you automatically with the wisdom to use those infernal engines wisely.

Justin and the Rangers out for the count. Go Bolts & Terry from sunny Tampa.

This is probably a bit late, and our gun-toting anonymous contributor has probably moved on to express his outrage elsewhere.

When he comes for me, I will get my wife to stamp on his foot with her high heels and smash a plate on his head. It seemed to work OK in Vanadorn's story.

We don't have gun massacres in Australia since we banned private ownership (apart from those with special licenses) after our one big massacre in 1996. The government (democratically elected, not the monarchy) bought back all guns and destroyed them.

And we don't shoot each other anywhere near as much as those in the USA do. Even the outlaw bikies (with illegal guns) mostly shoot each other.

Have fun, D

Since the Australian handgun ban in 1997, crimes involving firearms are UP in your Nation.

For example, in Victoria alone, the rate is up 171%.

Yep, bans sure work, don't they?

like a $1 Taco, enjoyable for what it is.

Thanks for posting.

Guns should not be regulated, but bullets should be $10,000 each. That way you would think hard before shooting someone (or the need to save up, take out a loan, get a 2nd job, etc.).

If someone had $70,000 worth of bullets shot into him-he must have done something wrong....

Decidedly so, cpete.

Just think of the LW stories that would have to be constructed justifying the expense. The agony of the wronged partner waiting and having to tolerate the wrong until he/she had saved up the cost of the vengeful bullet.

It would take more than a flash story.

D

Wife catches husband flirting with another woman, husband hospitalized from wife's assault, news at eleven.

Flirting is all she has proof of.

Is flirting cheating?

If she flirted with another man would she deserve to be put in the hospital by abuse?

Funny how no one seems to think she overreacted.

I guess I don't understand why someone takes the time to write half a story. For half a story I give it half the score. What there was, was written well. I would have probably given the story 4 stars if it had been a story, but since it was half a story I gave it half the score.

flash story. How many people get busted like that. Original *****

she's in jail and hubby is a modestly injured troglodyte, well deserving of every stitch, every hour in cast, every night "under observation".

While I don't condone violence......well, the prick had it coming!

Too bad she's stuck in jail and will be unable to throw his stuff out and file for divorce, while he's "under observation".

I hate cheaters of either gender.

Your grasp of grammar is a bit "iffy." It's not "a cattle". It's "cattle" or "A cow". It's not "..a spread woman's legs", but a "..a woman's spread legs."

"The edge of it smashed into his temple just over his ear." That's where the temple usually is, so "over his ear" is not necessary.

I give up on trying to find a literate story here.

...Great stuff, please continue to write. I like the realistic feel of the flash stories. I've read all three. Panther fan.

...but she wouldn't be arrested for attacking her husband!

Still not sure if Justin actually porked the green-dressed babe who was "crushing" on him,but the obvious hanky panky set his wife off. She absolutely should have been arrested for assault,especially the plate to the head,and he deserved her wrath.

Usually the revenge in these types of stories involves a vengeful gangbang or meating up with a 12 inch big black cock. This result is more probable in the real world.

that people apparently don't understand the meaning of "flash" or the intent of a flash story. You do an excellent job of setting the stage, blocking the characters, and hitting your audience with realistic dialogue. Well done.

Good burn on the husband. He better run before she makes bail.