All Comments on 'Flight Ch. 01'

Great work. I could almost taste dread and forbidden longing.

Thanks for sharing

Good start.

I hope you continue this story. I'm hooked.

You are a good writer. You have a few mistakes I'll address below. Here, the action and the imagery was strong enough that I could look past errors to find out what happened. It is hard to accurately portray psychological problems or trauma and you've done that more than credibly.

You used the word "sigma" to discuss her tattoo. I think the word you're looking for is symbol or sigil.

Literotica has editors who can help. You can find links to them via the main page. If you don't get help there, focus on these two things:

1. Don't make something plural by adding 's. Chairs = more than one. Chair's = belongs to the chair.

2. Punctuation in dialogue. Your quotation marks are fine. Watch where you place commas, especially leading into dialogue. A sentence like <<His blue eyes were glossy, "No. You don't. I'm sorry, Mina.">> should have a period after "glossy," and the dialogue becomes its own sentence. That is a valid way to lead into dialogue. Try this page:

https://litreactor.com/columns/talk-it-out-how-to-punctuate-dialogue-in-your-prose

We must keep in mind that the author is posting these stories for free. I can ignore grammatical errors for good story telling, which she happens to be blessed with. Please stop complaining about grammatical errors.

I haven’t read a story on here I was this invested in on a long time. I would love to see you continue To develope mina and the big bad coming to take her back. You’ve definitely been favorited.

you have a gift, I love your start and look forward to reading more, a lot more I hope

There's so much going on in these comments lol. Firstly, everyone who has been following me knows I struggle with grammar and all that fun stuff--Flight is actually one of the better edited drafts I've put out. Secondly, thank you to everyone who has left really awesome comments. It's amazing to know that people actually like to read what you put out into cyberspace. You guys are fucking awesome.

-CR <3

You are a gifted writer! I knew within the first minute that this was going to be an intelligent, interesting read. I proofread for friends and colleagues from time to time, and I would be happy to help with editing.

Onward! You’re awesome!

When you haven't finished the last one? That's shit

Because I aspire to piss people off. You're welcome.