Flight to Paradise Ch. 14

She smiles at the thought. "I know."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"No."

He feels his lips pull up in a grin. "That's a big step you know."

"I know."

"And you're ready to take that step?"

"Yes. With you I am."

Now! Now's the time to tell her, he thinks. Now is the time to tell her he's falling for her, but he can't, his lips pursing as he wars with himself. "Okay. Let's do it. When can you go?"

She smiles. She thought he was going to tell her something, something important, something she's longing to hear. She can sense the war within him, but so long as he's with her, she can wait, his actions telling her more than his words ever can.

"Not now. Let's worry about that tomorrow. Tonight I just want to feel you next to me, to listen to your heart. I don't want to share you with your family, not tonight."

He lies quietly, holding her as she slowly relaxes into sleep. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just tell her what I know to be true? As he lays there, Kate asleep in his arms, he rages at himself, a single tear leaking out of his eye in frustration and fury, a tear he wipes away with a savage swipe of his hand. I'm going to fuck this up, just like I've always fucked up. I just needs to tell her, tell her that I love her. If she leaves, then she leaves. But she won't leave, will she? It's clear that she must feel something too. She's changing. Right before my eyes, she's changing, becoming softer, less prickly. But does it mean what I hope it means? It's all happening so fast, I just don't know! Can I really be falling in love in less than two months? And more importantly, is Kate?

Mac wakes with a groan to the sound of singing birds, his alarm bringing him up out of a deep sleep. He'd lain awake for hours last night, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts, his uncertainty preventing him for dropping off until just a few hours ago. They should get up, they need to get up. Checkout is in two hours, but he can't bear to separate from Kate. Not yet. Fuck! If only I didn't have to go to Eugene. He toys with the idea of pinging Dana and postponing or canceling the trip, but then he rejects the thought. As much as he'd like to spend the rest of his life lying in bed with her, he has to work if he wants to live. With another groan of disgust at the unfairness of life, he gently shakes her.

"Kate, wake up. We have to get cleaned up."

"No..." she mumbles, gripping him tighter and snuggling in closer. "I want to stay here. Forever."

"I know, but we have to get up."

She utters a heartfelt sigh before relaxing her hold him. "I know. But it seems like I just got here."

"You did," he says quietly.

She slowly rises to gently kiss him on the lips, her eyes heavy with sleep. "I know. But it was worth it." He returns the kiss readily enough, but she can sense something is wrong. He seems a bit more reserved than normal. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he murmurs. "I just didn't sleep well last night."

"I'm sorry. Something I did? You're not upset I came are you?"

"No! Don't say that!" he exclaims. "I don't know what it is. I just had a lot on my mind last night, that's all."

"About us?"

"Yes," he says, ashamed of his lack of courage.

She smiles at him, surprised he would admit it, but trying to ease his concerns. "Look, whatever it is, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it. We can work it out, you said so last night."

"Yes, but—"

"Shhhh..." she whispers before covering his lips with her own. "We need to get up. We can talk about it later." She pauses, looking into his eyes, reading the feeling there, and the frustration, the hope and pain. "Will you wash my hair? Please?"

He smiles, taking a deep breath as he slowly closes then reopens his eyes. "I'd like that."

"So would I."

Mac sits on the flight-line, engines of the Goose ticking over at idle, waiting for clearance to taxi. He and Kate had checked out of his motel spare minutes before eleven, the hair washing taking longer than expected. They hadn't made love, but he'd lovingly washed her hair, then the rest of her body, enjoying the feel of her skin beneath his fingers and lips before she'd returned the favor. After checking out they'd a leisurely lunch before she dropped him at the airport. He'll be back from Eugene in just a few days, but Charlie had managed to move up a vid shoot for a commercial, something Kate did four or five times a year as a local car dealer's official spokeswoman.

On a sudden idea, he places a ping. "Kate..."

"Mac? What's wrong?" she asks. She'd just left Mac not thirty minutes before. He can't possibly be home yet.

"Nothing. Listen, I just had an idea. When you get back to LA, talk to Charlie and Todd. Why don't we invite them up for the weekend? I'll fly down next weekend, if you're done with your commercial thing, and fly them back up. I promised them a trip up, and I want to thank Charlie personally for introducing me to you."

"You know we are going to have to be back Monday morning, right?"

"Yes, I know. We'll fly up right after they close up shop Friday. Fly you back Sunday evening." He pauses, a wry smile coming to his face as he powers up the engines, the Beauty beginning to move as he receives clearance to taxi.

"Are you still on the ground?" she asks in surprise, hearing the tower over the link.

"Taxing to take-off position now," he says. "I don't mind flying down in the dark on Sunday. Do you think Charlie would mind putting me up for the night?" he asks, finishing his thought.

"I think I can arrange better sleeping accommodations than at Charlie and Todd's," she says, her voice low and suggestive.

He chuckles. "I was hoping you might."

"I'll check. It's been pretty stressful around the office for them I think. For Rick and Giselle too, but mostly Charlie and Todd, since they're in the office all the time. They may like to get away for a while."

"Good. Tell them to pack something nice. We'll have dinner in Paradise one night. Paradise isn't LA, and you and Charlie together, they won't know what hit them," he says with a grin.

"I will. It sounds like fun."

"If Charlie is still anything like she was when I knew her in Hays, it will be. Listen, I'm number two in the queue, so I need to go. Ping me when you get home so I know you made it safely."

She smiles, touched by his concern. "Okay, but you have to do the same."

"Will do. And Kate, I'm glad you came."

"Me to, Mac. Me too."

"I'm picking up my car now," Mac says, walking down the line of cars, stopping before a Nissan and making a face. It's going to be a tight squeeze.

"Mac, I want you stay with me. It's silly, as often you're up here, to rent a room when I have an extra bed," Everett says over the ping.

"I don't want to put you out, Everett."

"Poo. You're no trouble at all."

"Why don't you, Mac?" Dana asks. "I'm sure Pickle will enjoy the company and it saves the trouble of booking a room. I can cancel your reservation at the motel if you like."

"Thank you Dana—"

"Mac," Dana's voice comes again, interrupting him. "I've muted Pickle so he can't hear me. Please stay with him, at least tonight. Ping me when you get to his house and I'll explain."

"—that will be fine," he says as if he had only paused a moment to think about it. "If you're sure, Professor, you don't mind putting me up."

"I don't mind. I'd enjoy the company."

"Okay then, I'll see you in forty-five minutes to an hour."

Not quite an hour later Mac wheels the Nissan into Everett's drive and then pings Dana. "I'm sitting outside Everett's house now. What is it you want to tell me?"

"I'm worried about Pickle," her concerned voice comes over the link. "I don't think he's taking care of himself as he should. It seems that ever since you agreed to help, he's lost the will to fight. It's like he's giving up because he doesn't think I need him anymore."

"Are you sure? Why do you say that?"

"Talk to me after you see him," she says, cutting the link.

He shrugs and squeezes out of the car. He rings the bell and is shocked at Everett's appearance. Everett appears to have aged years since he saw him last, not even three weeks ago. "Everett, how are you doing?" Mac asks, stepping into the house and setting his bag down to shake the man's hand.

"I'm doing okay. How about you?" Everett asks, taking his hand.

"I can't complain," he says, understanding what Dana is worrying about. Not only did Everett look frailer, the life seems to have gone out of his voice. "Things are proceeding well, as you know, but I have a small issue that I need you to help me with."

"I think you have everything under control," Everett says, sinking into his chair with a sigh. "Better than I could have hoped for."

"Thank you. But that doesn't mean there aren't still problems. Like getting Dana setup in Dallas. I think all the computer equipment is there, but somebody is going to have to hook all that stuff up and make it work. It'll be at least another two weeks before we can think about doing that, so can you be ready to fly down there and do that then or do I need to slide that back a little?"

"Mac, you don't need me for that. Any competent IT guy can hook that stuff up as well as I can. Just get someone in Dallas to do it."

"Huh-uh. No way in hell. This is too important to trust to just anyone. I need the best, and that's you. I have a guy hired, a robotics guy, to help you, but I need you there to oversee the installation and testing."

Everett sighs. "Mac, I'm too damned old, and too damned tired, to be flying all over the country."

"I understand, and that's why I have a chartered flight, so you don't have to deal with all the crap of a commercial flight."

"Oh, you have, have you?" Everett says, his right eyebrow rising.

"That's right. First class accommodations all the way."

"I wouldn't happen to know the pilot, would I?"

"You might," Mac says with a grin. "Everett, look, I'll level with you. I'm scared shitless Dana's secret will get out. Greg, the robotics guy I hired, nearly gave me a heart attack when he backed me into a corner, and I had to admit you were part of Genesis. He knew of you, knew you left OSU, and knew you were working on something revolutionary. Greg can help you, but I need you there to make sure this is done right. Dana and I have talked about how she's going to have to hide what, who, she is, but during initial testing during the startup, we have to know if she's okay, and I'm telling you right now, Greg is smart enough to figure it out if we depend on him to do this alone." Mac pauses for effect. "Everett, I need you."

"Mac, I'm so tired."

"I know, Professor. And I'm sorry to have to ask this of you. But I need you. Dana needs you. There isn't anyone else."

Everett stares at Mac for a few minutes. "Okay, fine. I'll go. But I want a gorgeous flight attendant with long legs waiting on me hand and foot for the entire trip," he says with a smile.

"You know, I might be able to arrange that," he says with a chuckle. "Now, get up and go get cleaned up. I'm taking you out for dinner," he orders, a smile on his lips and in his voice.

"I could fix dinner here."

"No offense, Professor," he teases, "But as skinny as you are, how good can your cooking be?"

Everett barks out a short laugh, but gets up willingly enough, muttering about how a man of his advanced years deserves at least some respect, as he moves slowly down the hall to his room. Mac hefts his bag and follows him to his own room.

"Thank you," Dana says. "I spoke with Pickle just before he turned in and he sounds better already. "Giving him something to do is the best thing you could have done for him. I wish I had some arms so I could hug you."

"Dana, I didn't just give him something to do," Mac said, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I do need him. We both do. If something were to go wrong, if you can't fix it yourself, he's our only hope," he says quietly so Everett won't overhear.

"I know," she says, "But for some reason he wouldn't believe me when I told him that."

"Sometimes it takes an impartial third party to help someone to see. Do you think we can convince him to spend some time in Dallas? A few weeks maybe?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"Because Greg will be good for him. Give him someone to take under his wing, someone to teach again."

She pauses, as if thinking, though he knows it's something she does on purpose because people find it off putting if she answers every question almost before it is asked. "Maybe. I guess it depends."

"Okay. Let's keep this between us for now, at least until we get him down there and introduce him to Greg. Then we can play it by ear."

"Agreed. I worry about him. I wish he had someone."

"He has you."

"But I'm not human. Humans are a social creature. They need to be with their own kind."

"Dana, you as human as anyone I know."

"That's kind of you to say, but you know it isn't true. I'm just a machine, a very smart computer."

"So am I. I'm just a biomechanical machine with an organic computer. When we get you all hooked up in Dallas, you'll be able to see, smell, and feel better than I can."

"Yes, but I still won't be human, will I?"

"You won't be flesh and blood, that much is true, but if that's all it takes to be human, a dog would be considered a human too."

"You have such interesting points of view, Mac. I always enjoy talking with you. So, what does it mean to you to be human?"

"To be human is to be who we are. Our souls, for lack of a better term, the thing that makes us unique."

"Do I have a soul?"

"Yes. If what you have isn't a soul, the differences are so small as to be insignificant. You're an individual as surely as I am. You may not enjoy the same human rights that I do, but you should, Dana. You should."

"And you don't worry about me trying to take over the world?" Dana asks, her voice containing the faintest hint of teasing.

"No more so than I worry about Everett getting a gun and going on a killing spree. Could it happen? I suppose it could, but I think you're too good a person to even want to do that. Just like Everett. So, the short answer is, no, I don't worry about that at all."

"Mac, may I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure."

"Are you involved with anyone?"

"Beginning to be. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering if she knows how lucky she is to have someone like you to care for her. It is a her isn't it?"

He chuckles. "Yes, it's a her. Why do you say that?"

"Because you're such a kind and intelligent man. You possess and exhibit many of the best traits about people. You care about people, people you barely know. Take Everett. You instantly grasped what he needs, a purpose, and gave it to him. You treat me as an equal, even though we are as different as can possibly be. You are everything I hoped you would be when I selected you to help me."

He blushes. "I think you give me too much credit."

"I think you give yourself too little. This woman, she's special to you?"

"Yes. Very special."

"Will you tell me her name?"

"Sure. It's Kate Thompson. Katherine Thompson actually."

"With a C or a K?"

"A K, I think."

"A common name. Where does she live?"

"Dana, what are you doing?"

"I just want to know what she looks like. I have found 124,461 Katherine Thompson's in California. 48,564 in the probable age bracket. Without further information I won't be able to narrow my search further. I'm sorry if it bothers you. I'm only accessing public information. Would you like me to suspend my search?"

"No, that's okay, but in the future it would be polite to ask permission first, even if you are only accessing public information. I think most people would be shocked how much of their life is available to someone that knows how to look, and we both know that nobody knows how to look like you do, don't we?"

"I'm sorry, Mac. I didn't mean to offend you," she says, a hint of remorse and guilt in her voice.

"It's okay. Her full name is, you know, I don't know her middle name," he says, mildly annoyed with himself that he doesn't know more about Kate. "But she's a model in LA. Look for a connection to Charlie Rose, female. She lives at—"

"Katherine Nicole Thompson, age 42, residing at 241 Palm Meadows Drive?" Dana asks as Kate's picture arrives in a ping.

"That's her. She's forty-two, huh? I'd have never guessed."

"Mac, she's lovely."

"Yes she is."

"Do you love her? You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable."

He thinks about her question. Do I? "Dana, I don't know. Maybe. It's still early in the relationship."

"I hope it works out for you then, whatever you want that to be. But she's lovely and talented."

He gets a rush of heat and is about to correct her again before realizing she can't possibly mean what he first thought she meant. "Talented?"

"She had a scholarship to USC for music. Graduated near the top of her class as a classical pianist. You didn't know?"

"No, I didn't know," he says as an intricate piano melody begins to play. "What's this?"

"It's Kate."

"Kate is playing this?" he asks, trying to keep the awe out of his voice.

"She's quite good, isn't she?"

He says nothing for a time, simply listening to the movement, imagining her long fingers gliding over the keys. "She amazing," he finally breathes.

Dana giggles. "I wish you could hear yourself. Are you sure you're not in love?"

He blushes. "Honestly? I think maybe I'm beginning to be, yes. I haven't worked up the nerve to tell her yet. I'm afraid I'll scare her off."

He gets the feeling that Dana is pausing again, as if thinking. "Mac, far be it for me to try to understand the workings of the human heart, but if you don't tell her you love her because you're afraid, and she doesn't tell you for the same reason, how will you ever know?"

He sits, puzzling over her question. How indeed? "Dana, I don't know. I hadn't thought about it before."

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe I should. You still think you're not human? You seem to have a pretty keen insight into the human condition."

She twitters out a laugh. "Sometimes it takes an impartial third party to help someone to see."

The next morning Mac awakes feeling refreshed and renewed somehow. He and Dana had talked late into the night, Dana proving to be a patient and tolerant friend with unique, and occasionally humorous, insights. While talking about his personal life with his mother proves to be nearly intolerable, he finds it easy to talk to Dana, and she's helped him clarify his thoughts in a way that he's never been able to in the past. Apparently something has penetrated that thick skull of his because he is, finally, at peace with himself about Kate, like an enormous weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"Good morning Dana," Mac says placing a ping. "Is the professor up yet?" One nice thing about Dana, you never had to worry about interrupting her.

"He hasn't spoken to me if he is," Dana says calmly. "It's a bit early for him yet."

"Good. Listen, I want us to introduce Everett to Greg. "We can do that today or tomorrow, but I'm thinking today will be better. I think the sooner we can get Everett excited about the trip to Dallas the better. He seemed to eat pretty well last night, but I want to give him something to keep him busy while I'm gone and not hovering over him."

"I think that's a good idea. I'm pinging Greg now to see when would be a good time."

"Dana," he says with a grin, "you're going to spoil me."

"Just trying to do my share. It seems you have been doing all the work of late."

"Just trying to do my share," he echoes. "Once GMR is up and running I'm not going to have a lot to do but sit back and count the money."