All Comments on 'Florence'

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

I liked the story (5). But I thought Flo was slow on the draw. She wasted too much time getting his full name and phone number. (Chardonnay is white).

I'm an adopted child, and I, at least, always felt unwanted - which made it hard to cope with even the possibility of somone loving me. Finding my biological mother only aggravated the situation, and it wasn't after I'd eventually found my biological father that I slowly came to terms with all that. Even then it wasn't an acceptance like the click of a switch, though. Flo may be slow - but I certainly recognise the whole situation!

Maya

I thought this was a very nice romance. The pace was right for the story, and I do not think Flo was slow, I agree that, given the circumstances, she would have been feeling very confused and unsure, I thought this was very well conveyed by the story.

Do try to get the details right though. As has already been pointed out Chardonnay is white, not red. More seriously, If a plane crashes airports do not display "crashed" on the arrival board. What appears is something like "People waiting for passengers from flight xyz are asked to go to Rm 123" That is what I saw at Hong Kong Airport after a flight going to Hong Kong had crashed. (I was waiting for a different flight, I am glad to say). These sort of mistakes detract from what is otherwise a very fine story.

A nice romance story between adults. Sad in some respects (Carrie was a bad wife, a bad mother and a bitch), James' unfortunate ending, but with a happy ending, Flo has found his true family and the love of his life. It reminds me of the story of Oliver Twist, by Mark Twain, but in a feminine and modern version.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

So few comments on such a lovely story. I give it all the stars available because it flowed well, made me smile, brought a tear or two to my eyes, and had few grammatical errors (I do a bit of editing). Good job.

detroitdave

Actually I thought it was a great story. I did think it was a little slow getting off the launching pad, and I had absolutely no idea where, or even how, it was ever going anywhere. And then a couple of pages later Andrew showed up and it all just fell into place. I will admit I do get a little impatient when I can’t see a story going somewhere after the first page or two but this one certainly shot down any misgivings I had about it. Yep, a great romance story, definitely a Five Star romance story. So thank you, demure101.

Excellent writing but one of the more self-centered MCs I've read