All Comments on 'Flotsam, But Not Jetsam'

What a good story. I liked the flow and the characters. I liked the build up and the way they fell in love. Thanks for your time and imagination.

I only wish that I had experienced something like that.

Good story! Maybe a follow up to see how Sandy and May are doing!

It was sweet and lovely but important parts were alluded to instead of allowing the reader to experience them with the main characters. This interfered with the character development which interferes with the development of their relationship. This is good and god knows I love BWWM relationships (so much that I will probably score higher than I would otherwise) but it is missing a lot. I personally would have taken more time with the story to have the relationship develop instead of just occurring. Show the conflict after he returns instead of just writing a couple paragraphs.

It left me wanting more.

There is easily more chapters as well as another song for our star.

With a little drama so her rock earns his keep.

Cheers

Nothing to add but thank you.

Obrigado

Very good so far, you said two chapters, when is number 2 coming??

Looking forward to more...so much you can do with this!

Very enjoyable start. Just a word about the complaints about it being a mixed race story. It was the best part because it WASN'T a part of the story. It was simply there as as fact like his sail boat. It ignored the difference of races. That is becoming more a a reality within the relationship, as is the case of current society. I expect that there will be external pressure--think how much pressure a white/Chinese relationship would get in current circumstances. It is simply a fact of life as society learns to accept that reality the way it accepts American/Italian. At one time scandalous, but now no issue except for a few. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Note for those not believing the extent of the Ameriacan/Italian prejudice--in early 1900s a Catholic priest was publically murdered by the girl's father for performing a marriage of the American daughter and an Italian man. The killer was found innocent at the trial.

Are you going to finish this? I saw you posted chapter one of another multi chapter story. I think I will hold off and see if you continue it.

I enjoyed the story very much 5 from me. Now to the readers NOT reading completely. If your will look as you read before arriving at hotel there are 2 Simple words... Chapter 2

Improbable as hell but still a very entertaining story. I certainly enjoyed it very much, so thank you, GeneMajors.

It has promise but your story feels like an outline with key points that you added text between to make a story. Now that can be a good approach but you need to ensure the action, dialogue and inner voice moments flow from one to the other. You leave gaps that really interfere with the narrative and create improbable holes. Sand didn't actually talk to her on the boat? No one is going to receive that level of hostility from a phone call and not inquire why, race is irrelevant. He is worried about being perceived as a predator but he just wants a kiss? Why would he want that, he apparently avoided May entirely on the boat other than giving her hot chocolate. She was awake obviously but didn't talk to him. Why would Sandy want to kiss such a gruff and antisocial person.

The romance was pushed etc. I could go on. You have the workings of a good story but you need beta readers and/or an editor to help you work through the fail points in your story.

I grade Lit stories using a plot/sex ratio. This story had PLOT supported by implied sex, leaving the details to the reader’s imagination. I didn’t need a lot of graphic detail - my imagination is still pretty strong. There was a nugget if realism, but, hey, it’s fiction. This story gets my 5*

I am using anonymous' 12/31/20 comment.

I grade Lit stories using a plot/sex ratio. This story had PLOT supported by implied sex, leaving the details to the reader’s imagination. I didn’t need a lot of graphic detail - my imagination is still pretty strong.

This is my attitude. This story has a very good balance. 5*

It is a great story. AAAA++++

Very enjoyable story.