Flowers

"And now you're here, five years on, and you've discovered you want it to be about you too," Katie said softly. "It's okay. You deserve it to be about you too."

Bee blinked furiously. "Don't be so nice. I'm gonna cry."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Bee glanced around. The place was busy but nobody was paying them any attention.

"Okay. Sorry," Katie said and withdrew her hand. "So how did you two meet?"

"We were friends for a long time. And then, five years ago, we just... happened. Before that, we were both dating, but then we were both single at the same time and... yeah."

"Did you initiate it or did she?"

"She did," Bee said. "There was this one time we were watching a romantic movie at her place and then she just kissed me. I always thought it was so sweet, but now I'm thinking that maybe she was just horny, because she tends to get horny after her period. And then I just fell in love with her and she didn't have the heart to tell me she didn't really mean it."

Katie made a disapproving sound. "Can't be. Nobody is with someone for five years out of sheer pity."

Bee shrugged. She still had some food left, but she didn't feel like eating anymore. "How about you? Are you seeing someone?"

"Not currently, no."

Katie didn't offer any details, she just finished the last of her portion with a good appetite. "Ah, that hit the spot." She leaned back and patted her stomach lovingly. "I think I'll live until morning."

Bee smiled. With Gina, they had often circled around each other's bad mood; whenever the other one was feeling low for some reason, the other one would be bothered by it, or insulted, or feeling guilty for maybe having caused it, or bad because they couldn't cheer the other one up. Katie's mood didn't seem to waver with her mood swings at all, and yet the other woman took her feelings seriously and responded to them. This was new to Bee, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Katie remained leaning back and watched Bee. It felt like being judged, or evaluated, and Bee blushed. "What?"

Katie didn't answer immediately, and this upset Bee. She squirmed in her seat, glancing over her shoulder but of course there was nothing there, it was her Katie was looking at. She wondered what the other woman saw. Her eyes were serious, but when she spoke her voice was friendly and light. "Want to come up to my hotel room? I want to show you something."

It was Bee's turn to eye Katie evaluatively. She really had not been looking to hook up tonight, but she also didn't want to part ways with Katie just yet. Besides, it was not like Katie could force her into anything she didn't want; out of her heels, Katie was probably half a head shorter than her.

And skinnier, provided the voice inside her head, her mother's this time instead of Gina's. Everybody and their cousin are skinnier than you.

"Yeah, okay," she said, mostly to cut off her mom's body shaming tirade. Her mom had been petite and proud of it, and while Bee knew, objectively, that she wasn't abnormally large in any way, some things stuck deep.

Katie smiled.

The night air was chilly, but the hotel was near. Katie took her hand, when they stepped inside the lobby, and Bee thought that was probably so she wouldn't flee.

It wasn't for naught, either. Bee hadn't realized the hotel was quite this fancy. She didn't really pay attention to hotels, the way she knew where different bars or restaurants were. Why would she? This was her home town. She eyed the gleaming chandeliers suspiciously, while Katie pulled her across the marble floor to the elevators. Her neck prickled, and she thought the receptionists were maybe looking at her curiously, but she kept her gaze resolutely ahead and didn't face them.

This is Katie's hotel, she pays for this, Bee thought. She has a right to bring in whoever she wants. She couldn't quite stretch the sentiment to "I have a right to be here".

Stepping into the room didn't help. The carpet was thick and lush, and while Katie marched right in toward the bed, Bee stayed beside the door, taking in the interior. It was not a suite, it was a regular room, but it was still spacious and stylish. The bed was big and comfy, and the view from the window opened over the roofs, the city a sea of sparkling lights now that it was so dark.

Katie sat on the bed to unstrap her heels, sighing with delight and rubbing her soles. Bee looked at the carpet, then at her boots, and tried to kick them off while touching as little of the floor as she could. She set them upright, side by side, in the corner by the door. They looked as scruffy and out of place as she felt.

"Okay, here," came Katie's voice from the bathroom. "I'll show you."

"Show me what?" asked Bee, peering into the room cautiously. "I thought you just said that to, to..."

"To lure you into my lair?" Katie's eyes crinkled again when she looked at Bee. "No, I really want to show you this. Come here."

Here was a full body mirror, set on the far side of the bathroom. Bee stepped in front of it carefully, her eyes scanning the gleaming surfaces of the tiles, the shower closet, the spotless sink. Katie stepped behind her, setting her hands on Bee's shoulders. Like she had suspected, Katie was shorter than her without her heels, and her eyes peered over Bee's shoulder into hers. "Okay. Now look at yourself."

Reluctantly, Bee averted her eyes from Katie's and looked at herself.

She didn't often spend time in front of the mirror. She usually hid inside her leather jacket, but it was now tossed in a sorry heap beside her boots, and wearing only a t-shirt--the good black one featuring her favorite band, Schizo Squirrels--her sorry physique was on a display.

She looked at her hair, straight if a little scruffy, hanging over her shoulders. Her shoulders, which were so wide and angular, and her boobs, which were not small, but looked small because her chest was so wide. Her legs, which looked thin in the tight jeans she had, but which somehow felt too big regardless. Her eyes, under the ever-knitted brow, darting between her reflection and to Katie's eyes as if to ask isn't this enough already?

"Okay," Katie said. "Now, Bethany--" she looked at Bee expectantly.

"Waters," Bee offered.

"Bethany Waters," Katie said.

"Melinda," Bee said meekly. "Bethany Melinda Waters."

"Bethany Melinda Waters," Katie said and nodded toward the mirror.

Bee looked at her own eyes again, biting her lip.

"This is you," Katie said. "Bethany Melinda Waters. Exactly as you are, right now. Right at this very moment. Look at yourself, and hear me when I say that you deserve love."

"But--"

"No buts. You deserve love, just as you are, right here, right now."

Bee looked at Katie's eyes, still staring over her shoulder. Katie nodded toward Bee's reflection, frowning, and Bee looked at herself again. "But--"

"How do I know? Because everybody does. You are no exception. Everybody deserves love, just as you are, as incomplete or messy or dysfunctional or broken or whatever the fuck it is you're thinking about now. You know how a mother looks at a newborn, cradled in her arms? Everybody deserves to be loved like that. Unconditionally."

"But--"

"But your mom doesn't? Then fuck her."

Bee chortled. She stared at herself, how wide her mouth came when she smiled. Her mom had tried to teach her how to smile radiantly but more prettily for school pictures, and she had failed year after year until she had given up on smiling altogether.

"Say it," said Katie behind her back. "Fuck you, mom."

"Fuck you, mom," Bee echoed dutifully.

"Say it like you mean it. Fuck you!"

"Fuck you, mom!"

"That's more like it!"

"Fuck you, mom! Fuck you, Gina! Fuck the all of you, you fucking, you--"

Her voice echoed in the small, tiled room, and she paused, ashamed.

"Go on," came Katie's voice from the bedroom. Bee hadn't noticed her stepping away, and turned around, puzzled. "Go on, get it out."

Bee didn't. Instead, she stepped into the bedroom.

Katie had pulled the covers off the bed, and was now measuring the pillows in her hands. "I think this might do," she muttered.

Bee looked, uncomprehending, when the older woman twisted the pillow, making a kind of wrapper around her forearms. Then she turned towards Bee, eyes twinkling, and raised her hands as if sparring a fighter. "Come on," she said. "Give it to me."

"I'm not gonna hit you," Bee said. "That's absurd."

"Don't worry! I've trained Thai boxing for years. You won't hurt me, I promise."

"But, that's... I don't..."

"Yes you do. Just try it."

Katie nudged her with the pillow lightly. Bee gave it a half hearted push, and to her amazement, the smaller woman didn't budge at all. Bee fisted her hands, tentatively, and punched the pillow in slow motion.

She had been so angry ever since Gina had confronted her earlier in the week. So frustrated, so helpless, so... so inadequate, just like her mom had always said, and just to think what she would say when she heard about the breakup, she had always said Bee was no good and would never find a man, to think what she'd say when she heard she couldn't even keep a woman--

It all came out, in a tumbling avalanche, as she kept hitting the pillow, harder and faster. She grunted, she cried, she shouted, and the raw, primal scream tore out of her like it never had before. Katie held her pillow-wrapped arms up, didn't sway, didn't pull back, didn't say anything. How long it lasted, Bee couldn't say; it felt like a long time, but how can an explosion last a long time? All she knew was that when she finally stopped, when her arms hung limp and she stood panting and bewildered, Katie lowered her arms and smiled.

Then Katie rolled her eyes at the wall-pounding. By the sound of it, more than one neighboring room protested her yelling.

"Oh my god," Bee said. Her throat was hoarse. "I... I didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry about it," Katie said and grinned. "The worst that can happen is that the reception sends cops up to check. Best not get naked just yet."

Bee stuttered, trying to come up with a witty comeback, but her mind was all empty. Katie tossed the pillow on the bed and walked beside her to the mirror.

"Oh look, my hair is still intact," she said, turning a little this way and that. "I wish I would've tipped the hairdresser better. Pretty impressive work with that hairspray."

Bee's hands were shaking. She looked down at them, and then her arms started to shake too. When she looked up, Katie stood in front of her, smiling, and touched her shoulders gently.

"Don't stop it. Let it come out."

Bee looked back down at her trembling arms. The feeling that had flushed over her was so overpowering that she was still reeling. Her breathing evened out slowly, from shuddering gasps to something more regular, and with it her body stilled again. She came through the other side oddly empty, but in a very refreshed way.

Katie was humming to herself and checking out the minibar. She took out two small champagne bottles, opened them and poured the golden sparkles into the drinking glasses.

"Too bad we don't have proper glasses," she said and handed one over to Bee.

She received it, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Katie sat beside her, clinking her glass against Bee's and said, "I'll drink to this. Cheers!"

"This? What is this?" Bee asked and tasted hers. It was good and cold, and she didn't mind the glass it was served in.

"Rage," said Katie. "Sometimes being angry is the best release, don't you think?"

"I couldn't say. I don't usually, I mean..."

"Yeah, I can tell you don't usually. It's okay. It takes some easing into, sometimes. You know, with all that good girls don't raise their voices type of nonsense."

"Mmh," Bee said, sipping some more. "My mom was a lot like that, alright."

"It's not ladylike is what my grandma used to say. I did a lot of things to make her say that. I wasn't all that old when I remember thinking, what good is being ladylike, if all that gets you is an asshole of a husband and no say in your own life? But then she also used to say that I was too clever for my own good. What she meant was too clever for a woman, but she never dared say it quite so directly."

"The grandma who was married to the asshole?"

"Uh huh. Not that my mother's side was much better. But you know, I don't mind, really."

Katie sipped her champagne and let out a blissful sigh.

"You don't mind?" asked Bee, sipping hers.

"Well it's not their fault the world is the way it is. I blamed them for a long time, but they're the result of their upbringing and their personalities, and that's what we all are, after all. They did the best they could, and also it could be worse. I had friends in college whose upbringing wasn't so... blatant, and they struggled with theirs just the same. Maybe more, because it took them longer to understand how misogynistic and patriarchal it all was."

"Because it wasn't in their face so much."

"Exactly," Katie said and tilted her glass at her. "You get it, I see."

There was a sharp rap on the door, followed by "Police! Open up!"

Katie rolled her eyes and smiled at Bee's horrified expression. "It's okay, I promise."

Bee listened to her open the door. "Good evening, officers, what's the matter?"

Katie's attitude was suddenly very different than it was when they were alone. She was more formal, seemed to draw from some well of respectability that Bee didn't think she herself could pull off in a million years. All she had in her was a nervous smile, when the officers looked over the bedroom and peeked into the bathroom, citing the noise complaint. Katie claimed they had been watching TV, and even though the officers clearly didn't buy her story, they didn't argue.

"Alright, ma'am," said the older one, touching her temple. "Just turn it down a notch, okay?"

"We will," said Katie.

The officers went, and from the corridor came a series of clicks from doors closing. Obviously, their neighbors had been waiting for a juicy arrest. Katie closed their door and turned to lean on it, smirking. "Well that was good, in a way."

"Good how?" Bee asked. She was still horrified that someone called the police because of her, and astonished that she somehow hadn't gotten into trouble. Calling the police in her hood was never a "just turn it down, ma'am" kind of affair.

"Now they won't call again no matter how loud we get."

"How... loud?"

Katie walked to where she was standing, gliding toward her in a borderline predatory way. She stopped, still smirking. "Do you get loud?"

She took Bee's face in her hands, and as slowly as she rose on her tiptoes she pulled Bee down to meet her. When their lips touched, Bee found herself sliding her hands over the smaller woman's hips, around her lower back, to draw her closer.

Katie was slim, and smaller and shorter, but now that Bee was holding her she could feel how solid she was. How strong and streamlined. She had a delightful roundness to her hips, but right under the thin layer of softness was firm muscle. Her arms wrapped around Bee's shoulders as the kiss deepened, and her grip was tight.

Bee was exhilarated. She hadn't kissed anyone like this in a long time. There was the softness, how they tried each other out, but there was also the passion. The giddy anticipation of where this was going. The lust--and the realization that they hadn't had this with Gina for a while gave her pause.

Katie pulled back, her eyes sparkling and her smile radiant. She tugged at Bee's t-shirt, slowly pulling the hem up. She held Bee's eyes with hers until the shirt was bunched at her armpits, and Bee thought she was giving her a final out. As if it wasn't too late for that already; arousal was gathering in her pelvis, hot and heavy. She raised her arms up, her small boobs bouncing free when Katie pulled the shirt over her head.

"So cuuuuute," Katie said with a husky voice and reached for her boobs. "Omg, you're beautiful."

Bee made a noncommittal sound. She didn't agree, but Katie's hold of her breasts was the Goldilocks stuff, just tight enough, and that was before she rolled her nipples between her fingers. Bee leaned in for another kiss, hungrier than the previous one, fumbling for the zipper of Katie's dress. The kiss, combined with light pinching on her nipples, made her lose her focus completely.

Katie turned around for easier unzipping, taking off their earrings. "I need to toss the jewelry," she said with a husky voice. Bee was happy to hear this affected Katie too; she couldn't quite fathom why Katie would want her, but she wasn't about to argue.

The elegant green dress split down to reveal Katie's smooth, pale back. Bee ran her hands along the length of it, releasing the bra in the process, and pushed the garment over Katie's shoulders. She stepped closer, waited for Katie to unclasp the necklace and bent down to kiss her neck. Katie sighed, rolling her head to the side to give her more room. When her arms came down Bee pushed the dress down, guiding it over her hips, letting it pool on the floor around her feet.

"Aah, the fucking tights," murmured Katie. "God, I hate dressing up."

"Mm," said Bee, who never dressed up. She slid her hands under the waistline of both the tights and the panties, and when she had slid them over Katie's hips she squirmed and kicked her way out of them with great trouble and not a lot of precision. Bee heard them rip.

Katie turned around in her arms, staying close, and unbuttoned her jeans. She looked up at Bee again, smiling, and kneeled down in front of her to pull them down. Bee looked down at Katie's small and slightly droopy tubular breasts, strong thighs that flexed and showed their true muscularity when she kneeled like that, her carefully manicured nails and the mass of curls that still stayed in the careful formation around her head.

Bee couldn't remember which undies she had on, and sighed in relief to see they were neat black ones. Not very sexy, but at least they didn't have any holes in them. Katie pulled them down and leaned right into her, pressing her nose against Bee's mons and inhaling deeply. Bee froze.

"Sorry," Katie said, smiling impishly up at her. "Can't resist, I love the smell of pussy."

She looked up for a moment longer. Bee couldn't come up with a comeback, and Katie's smile widened into a grin and she dove back in. Breathing on her. Breathing her in. Nuzzling her pussy with her nose. Without conscious thought Bee widened her stance, and Katie responded with a tongue.

Oh gods. Bee's knees wobbled, and she grabbed Katie's head for support, twining her fingers into the curls. Katie in turn grabbed her bum, keeping her in place. Bee knew she couldn't come like this, but she was astonished by how turned on she already was. Not that she was one for overly long foreplay in any circumstances, but now it felt like she might have come if she just had something to lean on.

Katie eased up her oral assault, kissing her pussy lightly, stroking the backs of her thighs. Bee staggered, and Katie pushed, leading her toward the bed. When the backs of her legs touched the mattress, she all but collapsed on it. Katie kneeled at the foot of the bed, spreading her legs and settling between them.

"But... I..." Bee said, uncomfortable with being the object of this much attention.

Katie said something that was muffled by the mouthful of pussy. She stroked Bee's opening with her fingertips, smearing around the generous amounts of fluid she was producing, and when she pushed them in Bee's spine curled.

"You'll get your turn," Katie said, a little more comprehensively, before continuing.