Flynn 01

Flynn 01

The beginning chapter of my transition is not a misprint. Everything was awkward are the only words that deserve to be recorded to describe that period of my life and that was that, period.

But I stuck with it and made it through to the middle of things, which were much less awkward, but very busy. I took stock in myself, improved my attitude and appearance, started to get out a little bit and even bumped hips once with an old schoolmate, Harold, at a Halloween party last October, which was weird and scary, but short lived and un-noticed, so that was kind of cool.

But I'm not saying that the middle of things was a walk in the park. I mean, every time I went for a walk in the park, I still had more than enough shameful eye glazes, weird head turns and less than desirable comments, but I survived it all and I used those less than kind attitudes to sculpt myself and improve my skills into who I am today, so, actually, thank you haters.

And even though the last few sentences of the middle chapters of my transitional life are written in an alien language, tee he, trust me, I praised you! Or I said for the haters to burn in hell. Kae Bea Tongo is a very difficult written language to master, so I may have stated a few things wrong. Not.

Anyways, hey there, I'm Flynn and although I'm by no means in the home stretch of writing my book of life, the remaining chapters have finally leveled out in my favor. I have made some friends, I go out more often, I know exactly when to leave, I've figured out what type of person likes me as the person that I am, I've learned all too well what type of person likes me for certain other tendencies, like as a tomboy girlfriend or boyfriend, which I will say are tendencies that are described by early cave paintings on the alien planet Kae Baya Tongo as "Chu, goo, bung dodo", which basically means I'm doable lizard style because they don't have doggies on Kae Baya Tongo and I'm still on my feet.

Oh, and straight bangs work for me, slanted bangs work for me, but a shaggy free for all hair style is my normal.

Well, I'm certainly not wrapping up my final chapters yet, but I most certainly have entered into the phases where relationships bubble to the top and I mean that in terms of things becoming more of a two-way street, right? I mean, I'm way past those who just want to pop my bubble butt once or twice, which is biblically known as "Kowa, koru, flak, dew" on Kae Baya Tongo, but all of sudden, right, I find myself sizing up certain people for a convo back, even if I sucked at that, but before I knew it, there I was, hanging out on the Middleton Strip and talking back to certain individuals and for more often than just the monthly full moon.

So, as for the hits in my life, I'm a home owner and words actually come out of my mouth when I find myself migrating to another person.

As for the foul tipped balls in my life, I refer to flirting as a migration or migrating and a while back, I ended up on a tomboy boyfriend thread on Chang and although I didn't care for that in the least, it did create a migration of new followers and (questionable) friends and nobody suggested a new hair style, so I took the swing and hoped that my foul tipped ball didn't strike anyone in bleachers. And maybe once a guy caught my foul tip and migrated towards me so I could autograph the ball, but it was still weird and awkward between Harold and myself, but I wrote my phone number on the ball anyways because, well, just because one can't strike out as long as the foul tips aren't caught, so.

Anyways, well, I'll just gloss over the misses in my transitioned life because the printing company called and said that they ran out of paper to finish printing all those chapters, but I still argue to this day that my appeal towards sheer clothing is not now nor was it ever a miss.

Well, except for maybe that one night I went out wearing sheer pantyhose under my shorts instead of tights, but I wore tall thigh high socks, so only a little bit of the sheer nylon material was visible, which didn't seem to stop the migration of guys from the Strip, but it may have looked like I belonged on the Cottonwood Street alley, so that was a once only thing. Maybe.

Also, seriously? The tomboy boyfriend thread on Chang? Sheesh! Check the body people!

And I have no idea who anonymously transferred that thread over to the tomboy girlfriend board on Chang, so.

Anyways, on to a recent experience where being a home owner generated a migration of sorts, my appeal for someone to wear sheer clothing and the Friday night Super Full Moon.

"Milly Maye, you hush! If I don't have that old tree in my backyard brought down, then mother nature will do it for me and with our storms, I mean, my interior decorating skills may not be all that, but I do know that tree branch and tree bark will not be a good look in my family room, especially when it gets installed through the roof, so, shush it!"

"Oh, I wasn't talking about that, Flynn, I was talking about how you ended up hiring Patrick as your tree removal guy, that's all. I mean, since Patrick is Peacock Penny's cousin and all, I mean, there must be a story to be told about that then, so?"

"Again, Milly Maye, hush! It's just that I at least knew of Patrick because of Peacock Penny and it seemed safer than getting a quote or two from some random tree guys who might want to insist that we migrate just after the tree was completely removed, so."

"OMG, sex, Flynn, it's sex! But that was probably smart of you, but it's still an interesting story, so, spill it then. And don't leave out how you have enough coin to hire a professional service, who probably isn't the cheapest tree guy around, not that I'm trying to put two and two together about the depths of your pockets or anything, so?"

"Hah! Milly Maye, it's all on the up and up, square and equal, so! Patrick was very professional when he gave me a quote, he has the right equipment, which includes a cool "beep, beep" cherry picker bucket truck, a chainsaw flunky guy, a fallen branch pickup flunky, a wood chipper and he even gave me a firm time frame of how long it would take from start to finish tomorrow morning, so, it's all square, equal and on the up and up! Well, there may have been one moment when it was more of a rectangle than a square when his arm brushed against me as he was pointing up to the upper branches of the tree, but then everything came back around to square and equal, so!"

"Oh, and since I'm sure that you wore a belted sheer burlap bag while he pointed things out, I mean, which other way was Patrick pointing his chainsaw then, hmm?"

"North! Totally north like a damn migration direction compass! I mean, what? I mean, it's dangerous way up there near the upper branches and he was just making that clear to me and he carefully pointed out the area where the buzz sawed branches would fall, that's all, so? And I wore a wide belt with my burlap bag!"

"Well, Flynn, it's pretty clear to me that Peacock Penny's cousin Patrick probably wouldn't mind it if you put your bucket into his cherry picker bucket and you know, sucked his dick way up high, so?"

"Milly Maye Milhouse!"

"Oops, my bad, Flynn, I mean, I totally forgot that all guys just absolutely hate that!"

Well, I never said that, folks. I mean, Patrick may have asked if I ever wore just a rope as a belt with my burlap bag, but I think that's because his chainsaw flunky guy, Craig, uses a lot of rope to tie off the branches before he lays the chainsaw them. Also, I searched for sheer rope and I couldn't find any for sale on the internet, so.

"Anyways, Milly Maye, before we change the subject, like really quick, Lys has a thing for the chainsaw flunky guy, Craig, so I'm having a pizza lunch tomorrow about 2pm, if you would like to stop by for a bite of lunch and I promise, I will wear my Sunday best burlap bag, with a belt and I'm pretty sure that Lys will show up in a costume hardhat, a tube top and bib overall shorts, so."

"Hmm, Lys in a hardhat, huh? That would be cute, so, maybe, but let's get on with all the babbling on Chang that you have doing all week about tonight's super hero moon then, shall we? I mean, clearly you can't wait to attend a beach party at the Sea of Tranquility, right? Also, babbling is exactly the same as regular posting, so I didn't just say anything bad, Flynn."

"OMG, Milly Maye, it's not a super hero moon! It's just a Super Full Moon. It is a little closer to earth tonight than normal, so it appears to be a little larger in the night sky and a little brighter, like bright silky white, so."

"Yada, yada, yada, Flynn, what type of super nerd moon merchandise do you have with you tonight to celebrate the silky white event then, hmm? Even though I'm not sure what the difference is between a bright white and a silky white moon is, so?"

Oh, you see, folks, the guy at the silk screen T-Shirt Shop really likes the dark side of my moon, so he gives me favors, so when I need something silk screened to celebrate something, I migrate towards his T-Shirt Shop on the Strip and well, favor migrating is not a crime, so.

But to be clear, just like how mankind has not yet migrated to the dark side of the moon, nobody has migrated in or on mine yet either, so.

"Well, Milly Maye, in honor of a celestial event that is not necessarily uncommon and possibly only important to me, I have some sheer, very sheer bright silky white, short-sleeve, leotard type body suits, silk screened with imagines of the moon in just the right two places for legality and modesty purposes. Oh, shorts are required though for how sheer they are, but with the Sea of Tranquility acting as blocker pasties, the body suits could be worn as stand alone or just under an unbuttoned shirt, so."

"Hmm, that actually sounds pretty tame for you, Flynn, given how your last weird merchandise thing was to supply large circle glow sticks for the girls to wear as halter tops when Saturn was in view, so, all of this actually sounds pretty tame then. I mean, you're still a tomboy girlfriend perv for boobs, but it sounds pretty tame, so?"

"Oh, well, there is a perv catch and all, tee he, I mean, it's all on the selection honor system, but the imagines of the moon vary in circular size, so the first fifteen girls on the Strip who wish to celebrate the Super Full Moon with me, tee he, should select a silkscreened body suit that has the perfect sizes of moon images that will perfectly cover their areola and nipples, so, tee he, it's all legit!"

"Oh, well, if anything was ever legit, then that's it, perv! But I'll take a peek at what you have, so."

Well, all of the guys on the Strip thought it was a great idea and a good way to celebrate the Super Full Moon and it didn't take long for a group of girls started rummaging through the neatly packed and packaged silkscreened body suits that were in the back of my truck. Bright silky white, very sheer body suits with perfect placed moon images for modesty pasties, that is. Tee he.

"Ladies, ladies, please, the best I could do with the circular sizes of the silkscreened moon pasties was small, small medium, medium, large and one Mrs. Bentley size!"

"(Giggles)"

[Rummaging through the box of packaged body suits]

"Ahem!"

"Milly Maye, you know I like to apply my black eyeliner myself instead of getting a black eye, so, even though the Super Full Moon is not officially a blue moon, the photochromatic blue sheer body suit is for Peacock Penny, so, drop it! Also, the silky white body suit you have in other hand seems to have smaller moon images than I would have thought, so, are you telling me a story then, hmm?"

"Oh, well, since we're telling so many stories tonight, Flynn, I mean, I like the way things turned out and all, but when they were passing out the areola circles, well, I must have been standing in line behind Mrs. Bentley because they ran out!"

"(Giggles)"

"Wait, that's hot! So, flesh skin tone straight to burnt red nipples then, like Mars?"

"Hah, Flynn, that's for you to day dream about when you're relaxing on a chaise lounge chair at the beach of the Sea of Tranquility and for whoever joins me in the Ladies restroom just inside of the Lava Java Coffee Shop to find out for themselves as we change into your gimmick of the month! So, hah!"

[Flynn starts to slip paper cash into the remaining packages]

[Yeah, they just bought coffee and sweet treats with the cash and no photos were leaked]

[Well, not leaked yet]

Anyways, I won because my idea of how to celebrate the Super Full Moon was a hit. And I won even more when Kaylee asked me to point out exactly where the Sea of Tranquility was located!

"[Finger poke! Finger poke!] That's it right there [Boink], Kaylee!"

"Well, I asked you to explain it to me in terms of the face of a clock, Flynn, but, well, I guess where your finger is "boing" poking at my boobs, it's just between 1pm and 3pm, so, good job! Oh, and speaking of between 1pm and 3pm, I mean, you know there is a big lunch party at your place tomorrow at 2pm, right, Flynn, hmm?"

"I did not know that, Kaylee! I'm having a tree cut down, not a free for all like my hair lunch party, so define please! Also, next time I will purchase trophies for best stretching of sheer material! I never knew that you were, um, that your moon craters were so impressive!"

"Dream on, Flynn, but thanks, I think, tee he. But listen, you know guys, right? They always want to stand there with their arms crossed and look up as someone else brings down a tree, so, like two extra couples then, okay? And you can cut your burlap bag to show off your belly button jewelry, Flynn. And, and, and most importantly Flynn, Vicki and myself will take care of the entire pizza lunch, you know, just in case that is the best chance for you to migrate your lips to Patrick's dick, so?"

"Kaylee Kara Kendall!"

"Oops, my bad, Flynn, I mean, I totally forgot that all guys just absolutely hate that!"

Well, that sounded and seemed a little déjà vu, right?

But I actually liked that my pizza lunch might actually be officially labeled as a mixer, square and equal and everything! Even if there is no such thing as a tree downing mixer, but with two couples, three tree guys and Lys in a hardhat and myself, so, that was nine people and that was a legit mixer! So, cool.

[Shuffling footsteps, complete with huffing and puffing and that thigh grind whishing noise]

"[Wheeze, huff, puff, whish] Here, [inhale], here, Flynn, I brought you a half quad, double bold with double, double, so [wheeze], here! Oh, and this bag of donations is for you too!"

[A out of breath hand off of a coffee and a small bag of paper donations]

"And what's all this for then, Gianna, hmm?"

"Oh [wheeze], the donations are from the tizzy you created with the guys on the Strip and for how your busty women in sheer white paraded around my Lava Java Coffee Shop while changing in the Ladies room! [Wheeze] busty women in sheer white body suits, I say and parading around my shop, Flynn!"

"[Snatches that bag and the coffee] well, I didn't ask anyone to parade around as they stretched the sheer material to its limits, tee he, but you caught all that parading around on your security cam, right, Gianna?"

"[Gut punch] I have boobs too, Flynn! But I'll send you the link, pervert!"

"[Sip, ooh, oh] Gianna, are you sure this is a half quad, double..."

[Gut punch]

"Ahh, the best [cough] half quad, double bold ever, Gianna, so [cough], thanks. Ahh."

It was not a half quad, double bold, double, double, so.

"Hah! That's what your tree downing guy boyfriend wants to say, like, ahh!"

"Gianna, it's not like that, so."

"Oops, my bad, Flynn, I mean, fine, be the girl without being the tomboy girlfriend then because I mean, all guys just hate blow jobs!"

Well, that felt and sounded a little déjà vu again then!

[Last gut punch]

"[Cough, sips coffee] damn it, Giana!"

"Well, that was for how now I have to squirt my white work shirt with water just to catch up with all of your women on the Strip in sheer white tops, Flynn!"

[Whishing thigh sounds wander away back to the Lava Java Coffee Shop]

"Hey, Flynn, what the hell is this I hear about my tree downing at your place tomorrow has turned into some kind of late morning lunch party mixer, huh? But good job with creating such a tizzy with all these silky white and stretched to limits tops up and down the Strip, so."

"Oh, Patrick, listen, it's not a late morning lunch mixer or anything, but listen, I mean, tee he, you know guys, right? When they hear about an opportunity to cross their arms and stare upwards, I mean, guys, right?"

Huh, that sounded and felt a little déjà vu too! Again, again!

"Oh, well, I'm the boss, so that's what I do as my chainsaw guy goes all "buzz cut, buzz cut, buzz cut" and stuff way up in the tree, but you just make sure to keep everyone back and clear! Falling tree branches are no joke and that's that!"

"Yes, tree boss, I'll keep everyone behind the yellow tape, boss, so, Patrick, do you want to be my boss, tree boss?"

"What, Flynn?"

"Patrick, do you want to migrate with me, hmm? And there is no right or wrong answer to that, but since it took all of my nerve to let that out, well, you should say something because I may never even speak again for like five years! But before I stop talking for the next five years, let me just set your fears at ease about the gathering. It's just two couples as put together by Kaylee and she is bringing the two guys who will stand there with their arms crossed while gazing up and then it's Lys in a costume hardhat with a tube top and bib shorts overalls for your crazy chainsaw flunky guy, Craig and even though I don't have a match for your tree branch and wood chipper flunky, Dale Dan, Milly Maye said she might stop by and if she comes over, then she won't come solo, so that probably means that Niko will be with her, which means at least two more guys will follow them and then Jimmy J will stop by about 2pm to deliver the pizzas, which means he will probably join in with the arms crossed and looking up thing for a little while and then Suzie will notice that Jimmy J was gone too long and then she will probably drive like a jealous woman and screech her car in sideways to make sure nobody is putting the chainsaw on her precious Jimmy J, even though she keeps him cut off from sex these days and then I texted your card playing buddy, Jason, who is in love with Suzie, so he will most certainly pop over in the hopes of popping off and then, if you want, when it's time to wash up for lunch, well, you can use my private bathroom to do that and if that's where we migrate, well, then that's where the wood chips fall, so?"

So, folks, just where do I buy a book that explains what facial expressions mean then, hmm? Also, wow, I'm a having a mixer after all then! Not that I had the nerve to say anything else for the next five years.

"Flynn, well, yes, no, maybe and definitely yes if I just missed the part where you and I are going to migrate into the alley right now for a pre-launch party! I mean, I know that some guys hate that, but I'm not one of those guys!"

Oh, so, a little déjà vu in reverse then, hmm?

But I just said it, right? I was done talking for the next five years! So, I "whoop" texted him, even though we were both standing right there next to each other on the Strip. And there will never be any migration in the alley for me, ever! That's what the river park is for! And only on the north side of the river, so.

[Whoop]

"Ask later."

[Whoop]

"But only along the river!"

"Oh, so, then there is no back lash against me if I cruise the Strip for a while and check out a few last glimpses of the tee he, super villain full moons in stretched to limits sheer white then, tee he?"