All Comments on 'Flyover Country Ch. 04'

Welcome back! Enjoyed this story and hope to read more from you in the future.

The start was a bit of a shock but the rest was great. I await your next story with great anticipation.

Glad to see you writing again.

Looking forward to your next one.

a wonderful story.

Welcome back.

Perfect length, this couldn't have been trimmed and a GOOD editor likely pointed that out. Glad you've got one!

Your talent and skill as a writer (and possibly as a pilot, too? :) are as manifest as they are considerable. (I also very much appreciate the attention to the technical aspects -- grammar, punctuation, syntax, subject-verb agreement, and not-to-mention editing, etc., that is a rare experience in this forum). You kept the plot line moving, especially through the many twists and turns of the unfolding lives of your characters. Speaking of which: you made them real -- quirky at times, yes, but always believably real.

Thank you for a superbly fashioned story, many parts of which evoked in me quite a few nostalgic moments. BTW: I thought the length was perfect!

This could've been great but overall fell short of even being average. Not sure if it's just me getting older & therefore expecting more from writers these days, but, this just seemed so rushed in parts as new women flit through his life & he's such a magical lover to all, it really was a bit " American hero " to me. However, quite well written, pity the fleshy part didn't match the plot properly. 2 **

that was hot, man i wish my texas was like that lol ty for the read

I really enjoyed this one!

My complements to editing/proofreading, the errors that I caught through this series were few and far between. I've given this series 20*s (5per chapter ) This is one of a select few I find myself wishing for a higher rating.

Longhorn_07, I truly hope you have more inspired work like this to present in the future. Thank you.

An excellent tale, well crafted and enough storey line to keep me interested and looking for the next chapter.

An excellent tale, well crafted and enough story-line to keep me interested and looking for the next chapter.

...and welcome back. You've been missed.

It’s a good story and an interesting ride, but somehow I’m left with the feeling that the whole is something less than the sum of its parts.

A wonderful end to a sad but never morbid story!.... Lost in the wilderness was enthralling and Yet it should be a reminder that when you venture into the wilderness you are in the Beasts Backyard. ..".Burkes Backyard".......WOOF

character development. Longhorn is back and we all benefit. I can hardly wait for the August event sponsored by qhml1. If we only get stories from Q and Longhorn, the day would be a huge success. These guys are good!

well written and even though there are some twists with his loving two when and they both return to him it was an easy enjoyable romance story. I didn't think he was the kind of guy that would want such a relationship. I also laughed at the part where at 36 he was thinking he was getting old!

Chapters1 and 2 were great. But then it all went downhill from there, hitting bottom with a thud in chapter 4. I thought the cheap theatrics and silly macho huffing and puffing of the beat down was the worst, until he ended up rich and with both the women. Aaarrrgg.

And what's with the gun nutter stuff? It's bad enough he's so paranoid

he carries one around 24/7 but its never presented as a "gun" or "a pistol" or even a "Glock" It's always a "Glock 38" as if that was germane to the story or interesting.

The last line in chapter 2, IMHO, should have read The End.

Seems like it should have ended in Utah, not Texas!

The last paragraph just blew those lyrics into my mind.

Come on baby/Don't say maybe/I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me

Sweet story. Sharon's death watered my eyes, but I kinda expected it cause Mercedes and Stephanie had to reclaim Matt's heart. Very satisfying conclusion.

A treat to have you back. Many thanks. Take it easy.

The sissies don’t feel like men unless they are carrying.

saccharine. The plotting is mostly predictable and often flabby. This category tends to be a swamp of bad fetish writing, so this is certainly a pleasant diversion. Nevertheless, this author has done better, and I'm sure he will in the future.

Just finished, and went back to rate each of the parts as 5*. The only quibble I have is that I believe this belongs in Romance. There is not enough angst on either the cheater's or the victim's side to qualify for LV. However, putting it in LV probably got it to your target audience.

Excellent story. Missed your stories during your hiatus. I hope you're back.

When I was in my early 20s, barely out of college, I read your tales with wonder and appreciation. I always wondered, what happened to this guy? Sometimes we just run out of creative juice, and people stop writing. Then I got to know the man, the warmth and kindness, and this story came. No worries about the creative juices!

This is a major story from a major writer, and I'm grateful for all the work and entertainment you put into it. I very much look forward to your next story, and will remember this one. Thanks, Randi.

A very professional and enjoyable piece. We expect no less from longhorn!

There seems to be a major moral theme in this story hinted at, but not completely explored. Faye marries Matt at a young age (21), and then betrays him at a young age (before she is 25).

Mercedes married the other man at a young age, while still being in love with Matt. She names the other man's daughter after her true love Matt. If that's not betrayal I don't know what is. Let's not forget that we only know the other man was an ass having only her side of the story. Is it possible that he was an ass, because he knew she didn't truly love him and loved another man instead? Did he and his parents not want anything to do with Mattie because they assumed she was biologically Matt's (I realize it wasn't the case because of Mattie's age, but did they assume that was the case)? After all Mattie was 3 years old and the divorce was only 2 months old when she reconnects with Matt. She says her ex didn't want children, but why did his parents shun their grandchild as well?

Stephanie marries another man at a young age still in love with Matt to such a degree that she admits that marriage didn't have a chance. Again, that other man is betrayed with an emotional betrayal if not physical. He even loses his wife and daughter to that other man (Matt).

Sharon (I believe that was Alaska wife's name) was mentioned to have very sad eyes, and the nickname "The Ice-Queen", but that wasn't explored at all. Had she betrayed a past love. Did she also marry too young?

Now, I accept people have flaws, they make mistakes and thoughtlessly hurt others along the way. And I accept that most people are mostly good with the flaws and all. But so many of the LW readers expect women to be flawless Madonnas. Do they not realize that Mercedes and Stephanie were at least as flawed as Faye if not more? Is marrying a woman in love with another man, who names their first child after that other man any less a betrayal than what Faye did?

I'm glad Mercedes and Stephanie are able to reconnect with their true love and found a happy ending, betrayals and all. And while Faye was not completely fleshed out and I don't have that much invested in her, I hope she also matured and found her happiness as well. Would those LW readers that love beating up on the cheating women make an exception in the case of Mercedes and Stephanie because they made the MC happy, and wish continued ill on Faye?

The ultimate male fantasy, a triad relationship with two beautiful women falls into Matt's lap soon after his wife betrays him.

He leaves his job and his parents will him a piece of land with oil on it (I thought he had to leave the land after 6 months, but somehow he stayed on it forever. Were there oil rigs on it- yuck?)

Then his rich wife dies leaving him a large trust fund he can live off of and not have to work ever again.

Then one of his wives (Stephanie) gets millions in settlement for the attempted "rape" (the charge should have been assault and not rape. Also, any "attempted" felony, at least in Cali, holds a minimum half sentence of the actual crime so he would have gotten a lot more than 6 months for attempted rape; and, umm, "hostile environment" argument to getting millions was interesting as well).

I don't know if I was reading or watching Forest Gump. Don't get me wrong, I loved Forest Gump and thought it was a good book (which I read) and even a better movie (one of the few where the movie was better than the book in my opinion). So not knocking the quality of this story. But it's interesting how he simply kept on falling into money without really trying. I bet if he bought a single lottery ticket he'd win.

I liked the heart of the thing - the duo of girls were attractive.

I disliked a fair amount of the hardware of the story - editing was a bit choppy (a prolonged bout with an aggressive cancer for example seemed a bit contradictory), and there were some things about trios, harems, and such that seemed self indulgent. Fer one, if your are part of a triad you are one third of the triad... this guy seemed like two thirds in and of himself.

Mostly though, I have an issue with teaching things which could get your audience hurt. That Glock really was getting on my nerves. You have a family with 2 then 3 then 4 then 8 children and the guy is carrying as a habit? Sure, you could institute safety procedures so that you don't come home to a damaged child, but your story didn't seem to mention anything of the sort. And, after a while - carrying the Glock made me wonder what the heck was he compensating for?

So! This is a love story - but I am not as critical about placement on the lists as I could be. And... I find a love story in the context of Loving Wives to be more compelling. The first wife was a bit unresolved... the irony in the protagonist being in a triad while torching his first for similar behavior is ... not developed (yes, I know that to start he was not married in the triad, but was the way he was thrust into the triad by Mercedes much better? If you were to be making a comparison, it might be helped if the protagonist was a bit more self aware and self directed here...).

I am very appreciative of your reentry to writing, and if you wish you can say that I am having trouble with the underlying politics ("great man", harem) of the particular sub-genre, and so my problem is not your problem...

But still... mixed response.

Green-something

It was a great story, I completely got in with the characters and plot. But the ending. As soon as Stephanie was brought back in. Everyone knew what was going to happen. It took away from the story and left it too unrealistic. It’s a story worthy of a 6 if only Stephanie role at the end was left out or rewritten.

A bit of a modest size novel but a well-written story with a number of life's complications but a nice ending. For some total finale, it would have been nice to know what happened to Faye. From the early part, she did seem to really love Matt but too dumb to do the right thing. Wish her well into adulthood.

Glad to have you back and working. Continue on.

T.T.

Been waiting for you to Come out of hiding and Writing another winner. Loved the way you put the Story together. and inter wove every body. I was expecting his Alaskan wife to Cheat but you switched that up. Welcome Back.

I thought Mercedes' introduction back into his family's life was more than a bit abrupt. I think a single Dad would have vetted a long-lost girlfriend for a while before moving her into the house. Same goes for Stephanie.

Given how this story started, having Mercedes and Stephanie 'conspire' about living as a threesome, without Matt's knowledge, input, or discussion, and then have him instantly accept it when they surprise him in bed - yeah, I'd have to put that in the 'unlikely' category as well. Things have changed from when they did it back when they were dating - he and Mercedes are married now.

Might have been more interesting to have Matt react more forcefully, say 'No', and withdraw from both for a bit. The ladies could admit they moved too quickly, making assumptions and decisions without considering his experiences and feelings. They get together like adults and discuss it; weigh the pros and cons on how it will affect the kids, what happens if the three of them can't make it work, etc.

It's a big move and I think he, well, all of them for that matter, would be more circumspect about introducing another complication in the children's lives. The trauma of death and divorce have brought them all together, so, yes, this would be a complication. Not saying it couldn't or shouldn't be done, I just don't think they would have been so cavalier about it.

All my nit-picking aside, I thought it was a great story and, since Longhorn has always been one of my favorite writers, I'm extremely happy to see him submitting again. Well done, sir. Full marks on all four chapters. Thanks for posting.

Thanks to blackrandl and hdk for their assistance in getting you back here. Well written story with lovely characters. Very impressed, thank you very much.

Good story and great to have you back. This chapter felt a bit rushed, though, and for a harem ending, you sure skimped on the hot sex scenes in this chapter. You took more time describing the pizza. Nice to have a happy ending, though.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

A plot, well-developed characters, some sex, some imagination, nicely paced, all add up to a very good read. Thank you very much.

My hubby saved me like that in college from a creep at a dance .When I read that I got so wet I grabbed hubby in the yard and road his horse (he didn't seem to mind )! Good thing we have no neighbors for miles lol . Please keep writing Thanks for the read

all in all a good story, this guy had more than his fair share of ups and downs, I enjoyed reading this as much as a btb, romantic, sad story that it is, a bit of everything thrown in,, stirred up , and rolled out,, thanks for sharing

I was a bit surprised by the mentions this received in the comments (except by the idiot talking about it being compensation, anti-gun nuts are as ridiculous as gun fetishers).

It seemed obvious to me that this was foreshadowing. It was a literal application of Chekhov's Gun and a call-back to the other 'monster', the bear. He established himself as a hero archetype with the first, resulting in a solidified relationship and marriage. The second incident paralleled the first with the same result (with the exception of the death of the 'monster'). He confronted the 'monster', vanquished it and removed the woman (women) he loved from danger, during which, the gun was an essential tool.

I have a challenge for Matt Moreau. He should write a story with the MC being Stephanie's ex-husband. His wife never truly loved him, but married him as a fall back because her true love (was it Mercedes or Matt) wasn't available. Then when the true loves become available she divorces him and leaves him for the "better man". She also takes his daughter a thousand miles away. He is too poor to fight her in court to keep her from removing the child from the state. The ex wasn't described so MM could still make him short, with a small dick.

Uhh, there is a problem though. Longhorn boxed MM in so MM cannot actually take on this story. In MM's stories the cheating wife and her lover feel extreme guilt about what they did to the MC and constantly try to make it up to him. In this story Matt and Stephanie knew Daphne's father didn't have the funds, and they obviously did, so to make up for Stephanie screwing the man over did they offer to send him tickets to visit Daphne, or offer to send Daphne to stay with him to keep that father/daughter relationship thriving? NO! It is just noted that because Daphne's father didn't have the money he couldn't visit his daughter and that over time that relationship slowly died away. How convenient for Matt, who has all the dumb luck in the world, for things to work out nicely for him. MM's cheaters and their paramours are reviled, and here Matt and Stephanie's re-connection and happiness is celebrated. It's very possible Mercedes' story is pretty much the same as Stephanie's as we only have her side of the story that her ex was an ass who wanted nothing to do with Mattie.

When I was in my 20's I, along with my female assistant at the time, visited a very wealthy prospect and his wife to try to get them as clients. They were in their late 40's, early 50's. He was a very handsome man and his wife was exceptionally attractive. Besides having a gorgeous face she had enormous tits.

So we spoke about his finances, then out of nowhere he started joyfully discussing his daughter. He said his daughter was a gymnast who had competed in the Olympics. Then with great pride in his voice, he put both of his hands in front of his chest, but well, well in front, and he said when their daughter was doing gymnastics her body fat was so low she barely had any breasts. He said now that she is no longer competing she is as large as her mother. His handsome face was beaming with parental pride.

He seemed equally proud of his daughter's Olympic accomplishments, as he was of her enormous tit size. Neither my assistant or his wife seemed in the least offended by his description of his daughter, or for that matter how obviously fascinated he was with his wife's tits. I had a enormous large tit fetish back then, and I kept thinking if it would seem unprofessional if I tried to find a way to ask his daughter out. On the drive back to the office I remember asking my assistant how I could ask for her contact info. So yes, dancers and gymnasts can have huge tits once they stop competing and they allow their body fat to go back up to even normal.

I don’t know anyone could find anything negative in this story. It had it all: cheating wife; hot sex; adventure; love found and lost; love renewed; and a lot of humor. I don’t know why you’ve been away for twelve years, but I hope you’re back for good. A wonderful story. I loved it and rated every chapter 5*s.

Thank you for the story and entertainment. Hope you keep writing and don't go away again for years. :)

Liked the story. As an earlier comment stated , thought Sharon was going to go cheat, nice twist.

Red_wood

Reading Part 1, I expected you to write a predictable direction - I was pleasantly surprised that you went a totally different direction with the story.

You are definitely a 'Master-of-the-Quill', 6*....

Nice to see you're back and in the groove! Hooyah, salute!

Maybe in the Fantasy or Science Fiction category, but there was almost nothing about this plot or these characters that was believable or realistic.

Perhaps the weakest aspect of this story was how the characters had no adult common sense or discernment of human nature. Faye is an arrogant unapologetic promiscuous slut, but he dated and married her? Mercedes and Stephanie met and left the love of their lives to be, dancing girls? Really? But then they both got married anyway, to complete losers? But that's OK because they never went back looking for the best man and potential husband they ever met, they just went back looking for him AFTER they fucked up their first marriage efforts. And of course it was all Perfect Timing and clicked like magic and blah, blah, blah.

Kind of cloying and annoying really. Maybe some day you'll use your time and energy to write about real people dealing with real lives. This was just Snow White in drag and the two lesbian dwarfs.

...Than a happy ending.

A great resolution to a fine story.

5*

So shortly he loses his wife to cancer. Then a yr later Mercedes pops up with a kid in tow after hearing about his loss. They marry then Stephane come back with another kid in tow. That really killed this story for me. More babies and living a Mormon life . Back to a three way. All these impossible ,unreal events just make this story into a farce. It was never explained why he burnt the house down, he sold the land and did they ever drill for oil? So how did he get the land back? A lot is missing and I loved part 3 . But this ending was a bit much.

"2 chapters too long, a GOOD/GREAT editor would help you cut down on what isn't necessary, they would also help with the missing punctuation. He can't keep his wife but all women after her thought he was magical? Come off it! 1* for the entire wannabe story. Won't bother with anything else from this so called 'great' writer."

You read chapter one, loathed it, hated the editing and gave the story a 1.

Then you continued reading.

You read chapter two, loathed it, hated the editing and gave the story a 1.

Then you continued reading.

You read chapter three, loathed it, hated the editing and gave the story a 1.

Then you continued reading.

You read chapter four, loathed it, hated the editing and gave the story a 1.

If you're trying to convince us that you're an idiot, you can stop. We believe you. Why else would you continue to read something you hate? Is it that you're trying to learn what the author does to get scores for his stories that you will never get for yours? Jealousy is ugly. Try to get a grip.

I really have come to dislike stories that kill off a spouse to open back up a thread that had been put to rest. I still gave you full marks, but I could have lived without the polyamorous trio and the younger (step)incestuous version. It just seemed contrived.

thanks for not reconciling with the ex

the question i ask is why marry mercedes?

if he didn t marry her then he could of done 3somes amd moresomes .... now he became his ex ... disappointing

i have nothing against moresomes as long as they are not married ... once you marry you become a pair ... twosome

the writing was spectacular just didn t enjoy the final content

1* 10 limp dicks and an upset stomach

Other than the obvious of Part 1 posting under L-LW the remaining Parts would have been better received (higher scores) if posted under L-Romance or L-Erotic, as that is what the story turned out to be.

Posting all 4 Parts under L-LW is posting to a tough crowd to please, as they are the most critical and pompous on the L-board. Most all the L-LW critics are professional writers (don;t ya know) that seem to only want BTB scorched-earth stories.

And yes, I do write but under a different pen-name; I'm not a Pro-writer just an Engineer that does occasional weekend'er stories (that cannot find an editor so my mild dyslexia gets slammed, often). What I have found is the non-writers are often the most critical A**holes on L-LW, Annyo or Named makes no real difference they are all guru's of perfect writing - in their mind. Salute!

I agree with folks that the tale is well written from a technical perspective but the tale felt a bit like a wasted opportunity for me. When I read Longhorn’s stories when they first came out what I really loved about them was that he really dwelled with the story and it’s implications. This is not the case here. What we have are a number of stories shoehorned in with each other—an anthology if you like. Having been bundled together they purport to form a life. But do they? HDK, BlackRandl, and Bebop really like the story; others as well. Why? I get a clue with Bebop’s analysis of the bear, a bodyguard, and a pistol. OK, a nice figurative parallel for sure, but it is awkwardly constructed and needlessly repeated, as Green-something points out. The whole point of a Chekhov‘s gun is that you don’t continuously beat your reader over the head with it—having mentioned it back in an earlier chapter, he uses it in chapter three, and mentions it again twice more than uses it again in chapter four! I think that is an example of why some readers thought that the story was rushed and could do with some more editing.

I felt that Longhorn was being overly ambitious with this one. johnadp though really gets to the heart of the issue for me. What is the meaning of this life; a Glock 38? What reflection and change does our protagonist undergo; a harem after two singular relationships? The message—good things happen to those who ... what; stumble upon things and goes with the flow? Do illegal stuff and get away with it? People come and people go, so don’t sweat the small stuff? In any case anyone of the chapters would be a novel for Longhorn’s capable hands—rich with complexity. That doesn’t happen here. It’s an outline with lots of important “stuff” mostly ignored—for example, the off-stage lives of Mercedes and Stephanie with their failed marriages. So, as a reader I end up with a maddeningly jumpy story that details some things lovingly and repetitiously (the Glock ... 38!) while ignoring others that might add dynamic tension to what is going on and give me a reason to invest in the characters. If this is a life, then it feels two dimensional to me. Matt reminds me of JPB’s characters; unbending, unyielding, and unchanging. And it is not as if Longhorn is unaware of the problem—the last paragraph is his attempt to answer the questions that this story’s critics have raised. I just don’t think it is successful given the Herculean task he set for himself with this story.

Unfortunately money just kept flowing towards him, making it more like a fairy tale.

Pretty unrealistic all round. The last chapter was kind of ho-hum.

In fact, writing about Tom's relationship with his (step) sisters would have been way more interesting, but would need to be in a different category.

I'm also surprised that your editor let you get away with the bear scene. A woman who knows how to reload a gun should be able to shoot it herself, not just hand it to the big man to let him shoot it. Think of the basement scene in the movie Tremors. That's what it should have been like.

As for the commenters complaining about him carrying his Glock 38 (which is a reference to the smaller size of the gun) they are obviously not living the pew-pew life. It is more realistic than they think.

Thanks for writing!

If there were two choices of having the experience of being Matt and Faye cheating on me, or being Steph's ex and Steph doing what she did, I would take the Faye experience every single time.

Being Matt or Steph's ex I would be pissed like Matt was, but I could move on like he did if that was all there was to it. The difference is Steph took her ex's child and moved her a thousand miles away. In essence she knew she was going to be destroying his relationship with his child, AND the child's relationship with her father, who she bonded with for 5 years, for purely selfish reasons. The guy then doesn't have the funds to maintain even a distant relationship with his child. That I would have a very hard time getting over. Yes, with the move what Steph did was much more hurtful to her ex than what Faye did to Matt. The difference was the child.

My reaction to Faye's cheating would have been identical to Matt's. Divorce, maybe a bit of getting back at her like he did, ignore her, and move on. If I'm Steph's ex I can't move on because I have a child out there a thousand miles away that I cannot have a relationship with because my ex, who never truly loved me, wants to be with her true love(s) that she was emotionally cheating on me with all of our marriage.

I love my wife to death but if she wanted to leave me one day for whatever reason, including because she wants to be with another man, I'm not going to be happy but I'm not fighting her. I don't want a wife to be with me out of obligation or loyalty alone. However, she tries to take my son a thousand miles away from me, and destroy my relationship with him, the gloves are off.

Take Daphne out of the story, and maybe Mattie (although her circumstances are questionable), and I have no issues. I'd chalk it up to Steph made a poor choice (which humans do all the time), and be happy for the three of them. Daphne being taken away from the ex, and destroying their relationship, is the hard part for me to swallow.

Good series..... but what happened to wifey #1 after all these years? Happy, sad, dead, watches him with envy??

The son is 19 and they think he's mature enough to marry his two step-sisters? And that it's going to work out all right for the three of these teenagers as they grow up?

Can the parents and grandparents be that stupid?

Personally I would have preferred that the author terminated the story at the end of chapter 3!

Great story!

It was really sad about Sharon, but ending up with Mercedes and Stephanie was brilliant!

The only mistake this guy made was crashing his drone. Everything he touches turns to gold. The Alaska adventure was pretty cool and had it ended there it rates higher in my book. The poly thing fits in a bit with his mom and dad but then jumps the shark when the kiddos start boffing each other. Love the idea of MM writing a 19 page story on Steph's jilted hubby. There were some great scenes and other that just did not help. Why tell us about fixing a rusty gate. Just land the damn plane. My biggest gripe is the flawless hero. Spit on a dog, wreck a car, spank a kid, run over the neighbors prize flowers with the lawn mower. The one thing I am glad you did not do was have the girls present the hero with framed STD free certificates. 5*

No conflict = no story

The story I kept hoping would happen...didn’t.

I expected a big fight over mineral rights. Nope

I expected a big fight when the second girl came in to his ranch. Either constant cockblock or a car fight over who kept him. Maybe the hard choice of picking one over the other. Alas, no.

A screaming fight over how to get out of Alaska? No.

Dad! Big Daddy Warbucks hating hero or struggling mightily to sideline him! Or, that Girl Friday and someone else doing a con stealing DWB’s money and he exposes it. Sigh.

So magic wife dies and he suffers for all of six seconds before Dance Fever comes back...and she brought a friend!

Oafish twit does his assault thing and I think ‘Finally! Rich Bastard and Rich Hero can go hammer and tongs! Nastiness, brutality and legal shenanigans. I mean, the Poly Triplets are just RIFE for character assassination. Rich Bastards just don’t roll over! Not a single blackmithing tool was in sight however.

This was finely and subtly written. But is felt like a qhml1 tale with a Stetson, where he slips on an oil well, falls into a gold mine, and staggers out just in time to meet the Swedish Bikini Team while covered in gold dust.

I want my pain and suffering dammit! ; )

Cat fight, not car fight. Damn autocorrect

It is really great to have Longhorn back again. He was the first author I read on this site and I was hooked. This story shows he hasn't lost a step in his absence. Thanks for coming back. 5 stars all the way.

You bastard . I’m a 6 foot 1 20 year former soldier , now a trucker and twice you made me cry .

Thank you , your a serious genius.

It’s never about spelling or grammar, it’s about story telling and this was a humdinger .

Gaffer .

Perhaps it is because I am also a writer.

I saw all these potential paths and thought them intriguing.

But longhorn decided to do a very good job on a ‘journey’ tale, a biopic.

Enjoyable story.

Did he not go against all he believed in re. one man and one wife????????? He would not have done a 180 on all his beliefs.

Should have finished after Chapter 3.

This was really fine tale! You deserve the Five Stars I gave you!

Most definitely 5 stars. One thing though, would've like to know what happened to Faye. Did she lead a misrable life or a good life. Did she hate Matt and his new life with his kids and wife and lover?

Felt like a juvenile fantasy ending rather than anything plausible.

Also, not that the situation is exactly the same as with the first wife, but the husband somewhat threw out his morals regarding marriage, it goes very much against the character shown in the first chapter.

a complete waste of time. Fortunately, for the author, he's earned trust and following years ago. If any other new author had cranked out this utter gibberish, they'd be lucky to get an average score of 3.5 or so...

THANKS Longhorn_07

Definitely worth the wait. Hope we don't have to another 12 years before you publish another one of your outstanding stories.

“Requital” was one of the first (ok, maybe in the first 30-40) stories I’d read here, and one of the stories that firmly got me into Literotica vs some of the other erotica sites.

This here is a great story. And no RAAC, not that there’s anything wrong with that per se. (At least you give plausible, and excusable, reasons for the infidelity when you do write of such. Depression following a miscarriage (or death of an infant) is far more excusable than “I just fell out of love” or “you’re not the man I thought you were” or “you were away from home so much”.)

Hey! You’re obviously from Texas. Why does everyone in your stories drink Coke or Pepsi, and not one of the great Texas creations — Dr Pepper?

Again, glad to see you’re still around. Hope to see some more works.

I enjoyed most of it very much. And then it came to the ‘Polyamory’ part. I realize that that’s the new flavor of the month (or maybe the decade) idea of “family” but it still leaves me cold. {Actually it’s not new, it’s just another recycled liberal idea, most recently from the ‘Hippie’ era of the 1960s}. As a guy, I’ve had a hard enough time living with, dealing with, and caring for one woman for the past forty odd years, I cannot imagine doing it for two, or more, But like Sly Stone said, I guess, different strokes for different folks.

Story touched upon all adolescent fantasies, a couple of adult fantasies and the macho wannabees dreams. Good entertainment; I liked it. A smiling happy ending seems to be rare on liter. Do it again.

for some unexplained reason after signing up on this site can't sign in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

didn't see this ending coming ! have read this 1 several times . my late wife passed at 67 & never looked for another. ended up marrying 6 times till I found her .

2 times is all I could read chapter 4 .after all they went though to get back then have Sharon die off was 2 much/

I still think husband is a bit of a hypocrite. He doesn't condone cheating but lives with 2 women as wives!!!!???

@MakT63 - Hypocrite? How? He's not cheating if both women know and accept the situation.

Cheating is the act of doing something dishonestly, what they are doing is all above board and candid. It's unusual but it can hardly be compared to going behind somebody's back to cheat.

In all, I liked the general story but there was a few idiosyncrasies that irked me, not least of which was the scene breaks where it was the same scene and shouldn't have been a break. It should have just flowed on with some narration to keep it smooth, rather than marking an end to the scene only to have the reader start reading the 'new' scene and find we hadn't finished the last. It broke the immersion a little but the story still worked.

Had a hunch we would see the dynamic duo again and it would end up like this, even with the kids. Loved the story. 5

All in all, this was a wonderful tale. Complicated and twisting yes, but skillfully tied together. It is interesting however, that some readers read erotic literature; and then complain about the eroticism; most often, anonomously. Oh well 😎, when all else fails; trust your editors.

Just because Daphne's father couldn't get the money to come down was no reason not to fly her up there. They needed each other.

Could have done without the incest.

So no incest.

This is a really good story that took a dump; the three-some ending and then transferring that life style to their children damaged the story for me. You had a wonderful story that went into bizarre Outer-Limits fantasy in the last few pages. What was a +6* story dropped to a 4* amoral fantasy. What was a moderately well paced detailed story became a rush to finish cramming as many things in as possible in a ~15year ending time warp.

Also you drop any affects the bold-brash Kincade grandparents may have had to their two grandkids.

And I agree if you followed the story you would see there was no incest just Tommy copying his father.

I do agree the dancing three-some as spelled out was well explained and at no time was it cheating in any form.

Like I said a very good story but for the last few pages - even after my third read.

I don't agree with "KRD19254" about the story taking "a dump", and a story isn't amoral just because it doesn't fit an individual reader's personal views on morality, declaring it amoral for that reason is very narrow minded.

I do however agree that the epilogue should have been skipped, it's very rare indeed to read an epilogue which actually adds something worthwhile. IMO it's much better to end the story properly and then let the reader's mind figure out the rest.

Back to the story, I liked the people described here, except the trio in the first part, and the little kiddies were adorable!

How about a rewrite with Sharon not dying. Use your imagination.

The series is perfect. This chapter was about as useful as tits on a boar hog, as we real Texans say.

First chapter maybe, but then it became Group Sex or Romance. I too was a bit disappointed in how this ended.

Your story, your universe, your fantasies. I loved your multiple departures from conventional, prudish, puritanical, normal practices. You pushed the envelope and challenged us.

The ending was appropriate, you slammed us with no foreshadowing.

Did someone recover it or is it still up there? What happened to Sharon's parents? They just kind of dropped out of the story. They had enough money, they could have given all the kids airline tickets every year for Christmas or used their own private jet. They seemed like the kind of folks that would have welcomed all the kids as grandkids. This story could have gone in so many directions and did. When they were trekking through Alaska I was surprised wolves didn't pick up their scent but then that's been done to death. I also figured the Mulvanes' would be looking for some Texas style payback down the road. You know how those real Texans are. I for one loved it and glad to see you're writing again.

Still, a good story.

FOR THE SECOND READ, I STILL LOVED IT. FOR ALL THE YEARS I LIVED I FAIRBANKS, I DON'T REMEMBER A LUXURIOUS HOTEL OUTSIDE THE CITY LIMITS! LOVED YOUR STORY AND SURE MISS FAIRBANKS AND IT'S PEOPLE. LEFT THERE IN 90 SO I SUPPOSE SOMEONE COULD HAVE BUILT ONE EVEN IF THIS IS A FICTION! HAD A BIG WRITE UP ABOUT 3 OF US IN THE DAILY MINER FRONT PAGE IN '89'. SURE MISS THE 80 BELOW WEATHER THERE!

Personally thought the series well constructed and enjoyable (read twice so far). Lost log in details so couldn't comment previously. I get seriously ticked off with anonymous comments, grow a pair and register. Since when has a m.f.f threesome amounted to a group sex anthology? Chapter 1 was wife betrayal and deserved to be in LW's, the other 3 were linked and were romance. Duh!

Lost track of how many times I read this series. The storyline is unique. Like it a lot. GOOD JOB! 5*

No complaints, thoroughly enjoyable. He'd had so many disasters I was expecting more of them at the end but then I'm a romantic so it worked out ok for me.

Not the first time of reading it but the only bits I could recall were when he first met Mercedes and Stephie and then Sharon.

To the anon critics I say if you don’t like LongHorn’s fantasies write your own. I personally enjoyed it very much. I almost passed on it because the LW genre has degenerated into the very predictable BTB tale. I enjoy most of the Texans writing here and the author mentioning Harddaysnight editing I had to give it a try. Chapter 1 seemed headed in the typical BTB direction but, like a typical Texas yarn spinner, Longhorn headed in a different direction and a very enjoyable tale indeed.

Going to sample some of the other offering from this author and add to my follow list just in case he drops another gem for me to enjoy!

5 stars on all chapters and thanks for wrapping the story up in chapter 4 and the epilogue. I like complete stories with good clean endings. Something the newer writers here seem to have a problem with.

Hope you continue to write and post here. I like your fantasies.

Cheers

SAGE

I loved it. I expected a threesome relationship at the end of chapter 2, but was happy with ending in chapter 3. At the beginnen of chapoter 4 when his wife was dying I expected the two girlfriends back but I thought that the dying wife who I expected to know about them would have contacted them to help him grieving when she is dead.

However, the mentioning of the guns several times shows that the author is one of the gun nuts the US is so proud of. Personally I don't think in a civilised country it shouldn't be necessary to take weapon to a ballroom. This story shows that at least some states are still socail retarded.