All Comments on 'FocusTunes Ch. 08'

I guess the wait is on once more

Good to see you back!

Shuffle. Just call it a shuffle. She was five or six shuffles away. Feel free to use it next time your sexual fantasies masquerading as "artistic vision" requires the crawling equivalent of a pace.

Still, glad to see you're coming back to finish this. There are an untold amount of unfinished series on this site, so it's always nice to see another one completed. Looking forward to the next installment.

no way the goat is back

The good surprise of the day ! Glad to see you back at it, and still rocking.

Amazing. Everything I look for in this genre.

Read this a year ago and followed the author. W! Who necromancied them?

Yes! This Great! So glad you are back! Please keep the good work!

Great Story, Well Written. Thanks for all the hard work.

See you lads in a year!

It's so good to see you back! so, when can we expect the next one? :)

Thanks for picking this series back up again. As someone else commented, there are far too many series on this site which start really strong and never get resolved.

So glad you came back to continue this, your writing is fun and you're not afraid to explore the mistakes a protagonist can make. 10/10, thank you for the content!

Thank God it's back. Been rereading the older chapters now for two years

This is the good shit.

Great chapter! I’ve been checking back once a month since the last one! I hope you have the writing bug! I’m already itching for the next chapter!

Very well done. This just works in a way that a lot of stories don’t

"Soft" themes of mind control, eh?

So glad you're back. Thank you!

Damn, glad you are back. Now stop teasing us and please give us more. Lol

Please continue!

Agreed, please keep writing this!

My favorite series in a long while. Please keep it up!

agreed great story. please keep writing this

Well-written; I wish there was more! This series is a hidden gem on this site. Thanks for sharing your work!

Since I’ve read through the series twice, I thought I’d make a few comments about some of the specifics in the story.

First, it doesn’t seem like the MC is particularly worried about pregnancy, STD’s, fidelity or virgin status of his lovers. Regarding pregnancy, Miranda assured him that she was on the pill, but with Emily, there was only a passing thought in the MC’s internal dialogue about the “coolness” of not pulling out; perhaps this is evidence of the MC’s progression towards being overconfident and drunk with power? Regarding STD’s, the MC doesn’t spend any time asking his girls about their sexual history and whether they’ve been tested, even though he seems to be aware that Miranda and Emily aren’t virgins; perhaps this is because the MC is young and feels invincible and doesn’t need to worry about such things? Regarding fidelity, Miranda apparently gives a BJ to an ex while the MC is chasing Emily (we don’t know why Miranda does this; perhaps Miranda is seeing if she has the same desire or thrill when she’s with a guy other than the MC?) but the MC never brings this up, nor does he use any commands to force fidelity on “his” girls. As power-hungry as the MC is becoming in the series, you’d think he would want to have ownership over “his” girls’ ability to choose another partner besides him. Regarding virgin status, again the MC never inquires about sexual history of the girls and there is only a passing reference to some excitement about potentially being his next door neighbor’s first lover. This is somewhat unusual for the genre and the high school setting in that most of the mind-controller MC’s tend to have a fetish for being the first and only lover of his partners, but the MC here doesn’t seem to care.

Regarding the mechanics of the mind control app, it seems like the MC has it mostly figured out but I’m curious if there are side effects that he hasn’t determined yet; there was a reference to this early on when the MC was worried about the impact of conflicting commands.

Regarding the series going forward, one possible avenue is how the MC deals with the friends and family of the girls he has already brainwashed, since there is evidence that other people notice when the brainwashee’s act out of character. Also, the MC is pretty quick on the draw to use his app to fix any problems he encounters, like the dad who wouldn’t let him go upside to visit his friend. I imagine there might be fallout from over-reliance on constantly resorting to brainwashing anyone that might be an inconvenience to the MC.

Finally, the elephant in the room is the origin of the app, and whether Miranda’s mother will be aware of the power of the app since the neurologist mom developed it. Will the mom realize that her daughter has been brainwashed? How could she not? And will the MC encounter anyone else who has access to the app, and what conflict will that create? What about empowering his “agents” to have access to the app: will any problems arise from that? What if the agents do something unexpected? At the very least, if his agents are also giving orders out, the MC may not be able to accurately track commands in his log (great idea to have a log by the way.) Also, is there a time limit on the commands? The MC assumes they are “tattooed” onto the subject’s brain, implying permanence, but he’s only had the app for a week or so. It would be interesting to see if the commands fade over time. Finally, it’s interesting to see how having access to the power the app brings is affecting the morals of the MC; he’s already having difficulty limiting himself.

Overall, a really well-written, thought-provoking series that happens to be super hot as well. I’m cheering for the author to continue the series!